I'm Quitting Crossdressing

[Nyx]

I have come to the obvious realisation that crossdressing is diverting me from the more important objectives in my life. I have spent a large amount of money on female clothing, the vast majority of which I can't realistically wear in my daily life. I haven't gone so far as to risk my financial situation, but this money could definitely have been much better spent (I could have bought a brand new *laptop* with the amount of money I spent).

Not only that, but I've been feeling more stressed. I don't really feel better. I would have wanted to be a woman... But its obvious that in my current situation, that desire won't bring me anything. It could even jeopardize my career. I'm getting a little sick of it. I must also admit that a big part of what drives my crossdressing is the sexual drive. This simple reality makes it seem rather futile.

On the positive side, I learned some things about who I am, and now consider myself more open minded. I plan on selling my clothes in lots on eBay. I might keep a few items that can pass for guy clothing. As a matter of fact, this is really the approach I'm thinking of taking. I did the gender identity classification test, and it classified me as being androgynous. This is what I plan to aim for at the moment. I am still growing my hair long and will be aiming for a more androgynous look in my daily life. I have recently ordered some jeans and a t-shirt which are technically women's clothing but should very well pass for normal clothing. From now on, I won't order anything I can't wear in my daily life, and I won't abuse my budget.

So thats it. I have already eliminated alot of reminders of crossdressing from my computer. I am on my way to quitting. I feel like the androgynous identity is the only logical evolution for myself anyways. Unilaterally rejecting my male side to attempt being something I can never fully understand is the apex of futility. I want to be at peace with myself, and I'm going to do my best to achieve just that.

Maxime out.

[emmicd]

Dear Nyx,

I wish you well in your decision and certainly can understand why you feel as you do. I certainly have felt exactly the same as you many times before. I certainly need to cut back on such spending as I have a family and my priorities are much more different now than when I was single.

I have not had much luck in stopping my cd'ing altogether but I have had long dryspells.

I do wear womens pants which also qualify as androgynous.

Good Luck!

Emmi

[Fallen Angel]

all i can say is best of luck and im glad youve found your self. you found this place when you needed comfort and understanding, to express your self and to share and learn and im glad i was here and im sure alot of the other girls are glad that they also were here for you as well.some times when you get to that last page in a book its best to close it xxx

[Jen_TGCD]

I can pretty much agree with what you are feeling. The "Balance" is what I'm striving for, at this time. The CDing is not going away... I'm just trying to make it work better with my "male" lifestyle.

Good luck!!!

[Stephanie]

Well....best of luck to you. It's been interesting to read your thoughts on various subjects in this forum. Sorry to hear that you'll be leaving the wonderful world of crossdressing but you make some valid points that a lot of us probably have thought about one day or another. I agree that it can feel somewhat "empty" at times trying to make yourself up as a woman and attempting to emulate a "female" appearance knowing all along that you are NOT a real woman and knowing that you will never ever BE a REAL woman. It can all seem somewhat "purposeless" at times. Being sexually turned on is what initially drove my crossdressing too, however that seems to have abated, at least in my case, with age. Although it still turns me on to some degree, mostly I just feel "nice" when I crossdress. It's not something that's easy to explain but everything feels a little brighter and I seem to feel a little happier when I crossdress, especially when I do so fully (i.e. wig, dress/skirt, etc.). I have to admit that there are some days when I too get frustrated with having this awesome wardrobe of womens clothing comprised of skirts, halter tops, camis, etc. but not really being able to wear most of them on any kind of regular basis. It is hard to get fired up about spending lots of hard earned $$$ on clothing that you can't wear in your daily life, although after having purged once already several years ago when I was around 24 (I'm now 29), I found it nearly impossible to totally give it up and resumed my crossdressing this past April with the full support and encouragement of my wife. For me, as long as I can enjoy the clothing at home (and possibly in a more public venue FAR AWAY from my job), I feel that I am getting my $$$ worth on the clothing I buy and I know that I can always wear my womens stretch-flare jeans, Tommy Hilfiger khakis, and, of course, panties whenever I want so that makes my life (and my wardrobe) a little more fun and less boring. However, in any event, good luck and best wishes on achieving your ideal level of androgyny!

[CharleneCD]

Nyx,

I wish you only the best of luck in your continued journey. It sounds as if you have grown alot while you were here. Knowledge and understanding of yourself and others is one of the best things you can take away from your time here. You will be missed.

[Nadeen]

It is the things that drive each person in reality that will peace be derived from i wish you well in your endevor, i see the point wih the cost as a male i would never spend 68.00 for a pair of jeans but i do wear VS jeans on a frequent basis so my size 5 uplifter do cost me more best wishes nadeen.

[Lisa Golightly]

I plan on selling my clothes in lots on eBay. I might keep a few items that can pass for guy clothing. As a matter of fact, this is really the approach I'm thinking of taking. I did the gender identity classification test, and it classified me as being androgynous. This is what I plan to aim for at the moment. I am still growing my hair long and will be aiming for a more androgynous look in my daily life. I have recently ordered some jeans and a t-shirt which are technically women's clothing but should very well pass for normal clothing.

Hi Nyx,

You've reached a plateau I did a few years ago... I was equally cash strapped and unhappy that I was buying things I often knew I could never wear. Life, however, is an evolving process and we grow as time flits by us...

I too decided on the androgynus look, grew my hair longer, got my ears pierced, changed my jeans for girls, my socks for girl's, my tees for girl's, my trainers for girl's etc... I think doing that actually bolstered my confidence far more than throwing on an evening gown and struuting around a club.

Even in 'femme drab' I occassionally felt nervous... then as the years passed and I became comfortable I started wearing makeup all the time (the face was now showing all the bitter scars of age :( )... no-one noticed...

Finally I realised I could wear a dress if I wanted... so I did. All of my customers are now accustomed to seeing me somedays boyish, but most days very femme... they don't worry about it, because I'm not worried about it.

It is not a race, we are all different, and we all have our own personal goals and little victories. Go for your androgynus period, I found it a very calming and strengthening period for myself.

I don't think the urge for 'that dress' or the 'killer heels' ever goes away, but for you one day when you are completely at ease they may be the accessories you wear for the best night of your life. Never close the door...

Lisa xxxxx

[Colibri]

I can understand what you mean about spending a lot of money but it has been spent. I did the same thing about 5 years ago when I first met my wife I put all my clothes and makeup in a skip. I felted better for about a week knowing she would not find out but I still wanted to dress this built up and up for a year before I gave in.

Why don't you try given all your female things to a friend to look after or put them all in a box with do not open till Xmas. If after that time if you still feel the same you will know it was right.

[parris james]

I can understand what you mean about spending a lot of money but it has been spent. I did the same thing about 5 years ago when I first met my wife I put all my clothes and makeup in a skip. I felted better for about a week knowing she would not find out but I still wanted to dress this built up and up for a year before I gave in.

Why don't you try given all your female things to a friend to look after or put them all in a box with do not open till Xmas. If after that time if you still feel the same you will know it was right.
Thats good advice. I threw so many things away in the same mood I can't even guess how much money that was.

[Nyx]

I'm definitely not throwing anything away. I plan on selling them back. And if nobody buys them, I will give them to girls I know. Throwing it in the garbage would seem like a total waste given how much I spent (somewhere over $1500).

As for hiding it, I have no plans to do that either. When I can finally get myself an interesting girl, I will just tell her the truth: that I have an inclination towards my "female side". If that's unacceptable to her, then I will find myself another girlfriend. However, I don't think that will be a problem. I just don't tend to stick around conservative girls. They just feel too limited.

I don't know if I'll ever "go back" to crossdressing. The only way I would go back to this is if I ever become a millionaire. And then I might consider a sex change (since I can afford to get it done completely, by the best specialists). But other than that, there would really be no point, as it couldn't get me closed to being a girl than I am now... And I believe there is something more than the physical aspect to women.

[Adrianne]

I can understand where you are comming from and yes it it hard sometimes, you are still young and i wish you well for the future.

Adrianne.

[joni-alice]

be happy
whatever you do
is the
right thing for you

hugs
j-a

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Nyx,

It sounds like you have given this a lot of thought.First,congratulations on finding yourself,it is something that many of us never do.I am glad you have learned to have an open mind about others who have a different life style.
You are young and have your whole life in front of you,live free,do what you want.Remember we are always here,stop in for a visit if you can.I wish you all the good luck in your future.

[Katie Ashe]

I wish you the best, We will be here for you, if you ever need to talk. I don't know what else to say. :hugs: :bow: :evilbegon

[NatalieBliss]

Seems a lot of us are leaving... maybe it's just cause I haven't been around too long. Another person's views I have enjoyed is leaving and my advice is still... As long as you can wake up and be happy with yourself, your doing the right thing!

[ebony]

Feels like Im loosing a sister. and I also want to wish you the best of luck and I will see you when you come back (CAUSE YOU WILL BE BACK)

[Wendy me]

good luck in your quitting , god knows at one point or a nouther we all think abought doing just that ... i wish you all the best in your life .... good luch and god bless you.....

[Nyx]

Well, after 3 days of "having quit", things are not going so bad.

I also have another friend who's come to the same realisation as me and is considering quitting crossdresing as well.

Too bad we don't often hear about those who successfully quit ;)

[Joanne08]

After my divorce in 1997 I walked away from my crossdressing completely. Part of the cause of the divorce was my crossdressing habits so I never wanted that to influence my life in a negative way again. I purged all of my clothes, shoes, wigs, make up, jewelery, photos, everything so as not to have anything to remind me. I successfully avoided the CD triggers with not much desire at all for 6 years. I remarried and CD'ing has not been part of my life at all until about a year and a half ago. Then it hit me again and I embraced it and have returned to crossdressing. While I had not had active thoughts for a long time I doubt that my proclivities ever really vanished. I think we can control our desires up or down to suit our need but once a crossdresser always a crossdresser. Maybe your androginous approach may be just the limit that you will find acceptable for yourself, but don't be surprised if you find yourself slipping back into it. I truly wish the best for you and success at going ahead with your life without this.

Love, Jo

[Phoebe Reece]

Nyx, I wish you well. I think you have the right idea in getting away from crossdressing for awhile. You obviously still have some gender confusion, which is shown in your remark about considering SRS if you had the money. Everything in life doesn't have to make sense. You just have to find what makes life good for yourself. Some time away from crossdressing will give you a chance to think about who you really are.

Consider this: Giving up crossdressing is a little like a left handed person deciding he's tired of trying to be left handed in a right handed world. He decides one day he's simply going to do everything right handed from then on. Does he fit in? Yes. Is he happier? Only he knows the answer to that.

[Ellaine]

Give it up by all means babe, put this confusion from your life :)

But don't throw anything away and we'll see you in a month :rolleyes:

Hugs Ellaine

[Holly]

Nyx, what ever is best for you, that is what you should do. Just bear this in mind... life is not about asolutes, it's about growth, coming to new realizations about yourself. If you stop growing, you're dead! If we can help you in your journey, we'll be here. Best wishes!

[Val Tan]

nyx, i think i am going through a similar process as you...

i haven't opened my "secret drawer" in probably a month. and i am intending to wait a month or two, and if i can still keep away, i will probably sell off my stuff on ebay.

unlike you, my clothes aren't that expensive :D i haven't really done a "valuation", but i would say my stuff are in the $200 range (two most expensive items come to mind: silicone bra and a nike sports bra)

for those who are shaking your head and saying "you'll be back here soon enough", well, i can only say, let's wait and see.

in my case, i'm quitting not because of any pressure or negative influence, but rather, because of positive events happening in my life

:)

[Elinor]

I don't think anyone ever quits the desire only takes a holiday perhaps a few days weeks or months even several years and wam its back bigger than ever.
Purging is bad if you can't afford it because you will need to buy more later.

With a girlfriend or wife it may be kept more in the background but it will be there all the same.

You are welcome back at anytime even if its years and happily married.
Once a Janegirl always a Janegirl.

None the less best of British good luck Sister.

[Jill]

If you can successfully turn your back on this and never look back, then you have really conquered the demon. If you can really do it, then I really envy you. Good luck.

[suanne]

Hello Nyx.. Been there, done that. Hello, Iam back. Been there, done that. Hello Iam back. (Get the picture). I have been thru this cycle for the last 40 years and the older I get the more I know me. Guess what... I am a closet crossdresser. I like it this way, would make some changes if I could, but for now its ok. If it feels good.....do it. If it doesn't sell it, pitch it, or give it away. I believe the main thing is this.... Its got to be up to you and you alone.

Best Wishes :)

Suanne

[Inga]

I'm also thinking seriosly of purging. Somehow I think the CDing is hurting my overall atitude due to conflict in my mind. Inga

[jerri kelly]

I have come to the obvious realisation that crossdressing is diverting me from the more important objectives in my life. I have spent a large amount of money on female clothing, the vast majority of which I can't realistically wear in my daily life. I haven't gone so far as to risk my financial situation, but this money could definitely have been much better spent (I could have bought a brand new *laptop* with the amount of money I spent).

Not only that, but I've been feeling more stressed. I don't really feel better. I would have wanted to be a woman... But its obvious that in my current situation, that desire won't bring me anything. It could even jeopardize my career. I'm getting a little sick of it. I must also admit that a big part of what drives my crossdressing is the sexual drive. This simple reality makes it seem rather futile.

On the positive side, I learned some things about who I am, and now consider myself more open minded. I plan on selling my clothes in lots on eBay. I might keep a few items that can pass for guy clothing. As a matter of fact, this is really the approach I'm thinking of taking. I did the gender identity classification test, and it classified me as being androgynous. This is what I plan to aim for at the moment. I am still growing my hair long and will be aiming for a more androgynous look in my daily life. I have recently ordered some jeans and a t-shirt which are technically women's clothing but should very well pass for normal clothing. From now on, I won't order anything I can't wear in my daily life, and I won't abuse my budget.

So thats it. I have already eliminated alot of reminders of crossdressing from my computer. I am on my way to quitting. I feel like the androgynous identity is the only logical evolution for myself anyways. Unilaterally rejecting my male side to attempt being something I can never fully understand is the apex of futility. I want to be at peace with myself, and I'm going to do my best to achieve just that.

Maxime out.
dont quit girl lets talk

[jerri kelly]

dont quit girl lets talk
keep the girl in you

[Deborah]

I'm also thinking seriosly of purging. Somehow I think the CDing is hurting my overall atitude due to conflict in my mind. Inga

Sigh another purger. I suggest putting the clothes etc in a box and place them in storage/attic/basement or garage. Its not going to go away you know.

[Maddie Knight]

Only you can decide what is right for you.
The only thing is, can you really deny your fem side, I know I can't.
If thing work out, great.
If you go back to Cd'ing is it really that bad?

[Inga]

I do not think it would be bad to return to CDing if I do purge. The support and thoughtfulness of this group is a big help. Right now I'm dressed with 5 inch heels on and I'm quite relaxed. The anxiety of the past few days seemed to have lifted right now.

Inga

[ChristineRenee]

You do that which you have to do Nyx. My only advice to you would be to not purge anything just yet but put them away...outta sight (site?) outta mind!

I wish you all the best hon...I'm sure that this wasn't an easy decision for you...and overcoming your CD desires will not be any easier either....but I wish you luck in achieving your goal.

Just know that you will always have a place here to come back to...should the desire ever return!;)

Love,
Chrissie:)