When is the best time to go out crossdress?

[andrea35]

I crossdress in private, but this does not satisfy me any more. I really wanna go out fully dress, but I'm afraid I'll have a heart attack. is there any time when any of you find it best to go out and be least noticed?

[Sandra Dunn]

Hi Andrea and welcome little sister to the forum. Well night time is the best when you are just stepping out and the first place to visit would be a lesbian club. I have found this enviroment is better suited especially for the first time outing. I do highly recommend you go with a freind. If you have not made contact localy, how about in another town and plan for an outing.

If you have not made any kind of contact and if no one else knows about you then I suggest you start looking for someone. It is always best to go out with another person until you become comfortable going out by yourself. Go to a place you would go to any other time, of course going to where your freinds hang out might not be good at this time.

Happy outing, Hugs Snadra

[AllieSF]

There is going out (solo walks and drives and maybe some time in a park with only a few people around), and then there is "going out" into the real world to a bar, restaurant, museum or whatever. If you are real worried, go to one of the first places above and pick a time and location when no one or very few people will be around. You can even scout out the place in drag to get an idea what it is all about and to help with your courage later when you go there dressed en femme. Enjoy the fresh air and build up your courage and self confidence. If you want to be more adventurous, then I would recommend a night time outing at some T friendly bar or club. These are normally associated with gay and lesbian bars. It is best in both situations to try to have a friend along for backup and support, even if it is only moral support. The first time is the hardest, don't let minor inconveniences or issues detract for the thrill of the moment. Make sure to dress more conservatively at first so as not to not draw too much attention to yourself. The braver you get, the more that you can ramp up your style. It normally gets easier as you build up experiences (good and bad), as well as self confidence. I do wish you the best of luck.

[eluuzion]

Well, from my personal experience, the best time is 4am in the morning, because 90% + of stable people are dead asleep. (which is why the DEA picks that time to make drug raids). You are generally safe between 4:00 and 4:01 AM, :D jus' kid'n on that one.

Well, many of us seem to elect to go for the "after dark" option. The problem with that routine is that from about sundown to 2am, you are out mingling during prime time for predators, malfeasants, gangs, drunks and cops. It is a risk when you are a guy dressed as a guy. It is a whole different ball game when you are a guy in feminine attire.

I have always done things during the times others are not doing the same thing. Like grocery shopping after midnight, etc. No crowds and no lines. Most places have a "routine". You just need to observe it for awhile before you jump in, so you pick the ideal timing.

I was kidding above with the 4am part, but it is actually the best time to be "out" driving around. (Past the criminal prime time, and the activity is beginning for paper routes, milkmen, etc...which provides "cover" to avoid tripping the "suspicious" trigger of cops who have transitioned to shutdown mode and images of doughnuts and coffee.

[Freddy12]

Hi!
A lot depends on what you are looking for. If you do not want to be notices, at night is best. In a park or even an all night gas staton with few folks around.
If you want to be noticed, but not very much, dress in girl jeans, and a plain top and go grocery shopping early in the day. Most people will be caught up in waking up and won't look carefully.
If you really want to be noticed, go to a mall when there are teen-aged girls present. They have eagle eyes, and notice everything.
What are you looking for?

[Blaire]

I dunno... if you're looking at actually going somewhere instead of just wandering the streets, pick a weekday and be the first one in the grocery store or mall.

[victoriamwilliams1]

If your just starting going out I suggest early morning and start at dark so you can get comfortable and if it is a 24 hour store try to enter the store after you become comfortable with being out as a woman.

Here is how I began going out:

from 1999-2001 I would go out during the evenings and late night which when I felt I was beginning to look very much like a very tall woman and when I began to think of myself as a woman I changed to going out during the early morning in late 2001. I would at that time do daytime during the Halloween week.

2002 to now I still have apprehension and I use wisdom when going out shopping which unlike my early years I would wait in my car to check out the area. Now I am getting to the point of just getting out and doing my shopping. My theory is once you exit your car or home you might as well keep going because people notice the person getting in and out of a car or home where they will not pay much attention to a person who is acting "normal." fear is a trip!

I suggest setting benchmarks for the early years of going out and stick to them. I set mine which I have done most of them.

Enjoy and be careful

[msniki48]

I crossdress in private, but this does not satisfy me any more. I really wanna go out fully dress, but I'm afraid I'll have a heart attack. is there any time when any of you find it best to go out and be least noticed?

Andrea, attend a support meeting...they are supportive, and you can get your sea legs , so to speak, you will also meet girls that go out, and you may want to join in.

if you are concerned about traveling en femme at first...most groups have a changing room also.

Tri-Ess or Rennaissance are good for a start

Good Luck:battingeyelashes:

:hugs:

[DonnaT]

Depends on where you want to go.

Early mornings are prime time for heart attacks, so avoid trying to get out too soon after waking up.

If you want to go shopping, go as soon as the stores open.

Want to go to a movie, try the first show of the day.

Just want to be outside, early evening, as it's just getting dark.

[Teresa Ann]

Hi Andrea, If you are just starting out and don't know any one (that knows about your CDing) contact a group and attend one of their meetings you will be able to change there and have moral support from the group and venture out from there. It always scares me to recomend going out late at night walking around by yourself, unless you know the area very well. I would feel bad if I recomend walking around at night and something happens to you. Welcome to the group here and ask any thing you want to know. Teresa

[AKAMichelle]

Most people find going out after the dark the easiest at first. Going out dressed in broad daylight for many is too scary. Try a drive or a walk. Then go to a store to shop. Remember you are the same person wearing women's clothes as you would be wearing a holey T-Shirt and ratty shorts.

So find something you are comfortable with and do it. Even find another cd'er to go with you. Just remember don't go anywhere dressed that you wouldn't want your wife going to.

[Kathi Lake]

When is the "proper" time to go out dressed? For some odd reason (my raison d'être), an old sketch came to mind from Steve Martin about when is the proper time to do - or not do- something:

I know what you're saying. You're saying, Oh... I'll bet he's on drugs." [ laughter ] Well, I'll be honest with you: I used to smoke... marijuana! [ he covers his face in mock shame ] But I would only smoke it... in the late evening. Oh, occasionally, the early evening, or mid-evening. But that was it -- the late evening, the early evening, or mid-evening, but that was it, I -- ohhh, occasionally, the early morning... or, oh, the mid-morning... maybe the late morning... or, occasionally, the early-mid-late morning! Or, sometimes, the mid-early morning, or... oh, the late afternoon! Sometimes, the mid-early-late afternoon! Never at DUSK! NOOOOOO, I would never smoke it at dusk! Oh, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!!! Because that's when the little FAT men would come! And they would DO things to me! They'd go: [he bounces his fingers forward ] "Whoa-oa! Who-oa!" And I LIKED it!

So, when is the "proper" time? Whenever you darn well feel like it. Oh, but never at dusk.

:)

Kathi

[joandher]

I know this may seem morbid ,but when I first started to explore the outside world , I used to visit cemeteries, they are quite and you can stroll about without too much attention , I spent many happy hours walking around getting used to people seeing me and trying to act ladylike

:hugs:

J-JAY

[Stephenie S]

While most beginners seem think that the dark is their friend, actually just the opposite is true. Going out alone after dark is absolutely the most dangerous thing you can do. Mostly, the only single women out after dark are working women. Cops and drunks and groups of young men are going to make this assumption automatically. You will be fair game for them all.

Do you want your SO to have to come down to the police station to bail you out when you are dressed? Or your parents? Or your friends? Or perhaps you would rather deal with a drunken jerk who wants a bit of action and decides to teach you a lesson when he finds out you are NOT what he thought. Perhaps a group of testosterone crazed teenagers will drive by and spot you. Oh, the possibilities are endless, and none of them are very pleasant.

The safest time to go out alone is in full daylight in a crowd of busy people. A mall, a supermarket, a self serve gas station, church, an airport, a university, a museum or art gallery, a concert or play. These are all relatively safe places to be while you are just getting used to going out. But out for a walk alone after midnight, and everyone who happens to see you will assume just one thing, and that is that you are "working".

Be safe.

Stephie

[RADER]

Some of the Mall's around me open early, say 6:00 am for walkers to get
exercise. You see older people there because of the safety of the Maul.
That might be a place you could go and "window shop". :2c::2c: Rader

[Lissa Stevens]

I find that in the morning when people are going to work is the time when I get noticed the least. Most people are can barely manage to get going in the mornings so they are less likely to pay attention to anything but what is right in front of their noses.

[Chickhe]

You have to decide what will work for you. At night is good if you don't want to be seen to clearly, but might be risky for safety, but it all depends what you wear and where you go or what you do. You can go for a drive. The daytime is scarry at first, but in reality it is a good time to go because one person in a crowd is not going to bother you and you have people to help protect you. The best way to do it, is to decide on an activity and concentrate on doing it...you don't want to be out with no goal and look like you are crossdressing... you want to look like a woman who has a purpose and belongs where she is.

[kay_jessica]

Thats easy!

All the time and anytime........

Simples (for those across the pond - it's Meerkats thing! http://film.comparethemeerkat.com/)

Hugs

Kay

[kimdl93]

.....

So, when is the "proper" time? Whenever you darn well feel like it. Oh, but never at dusk.

:)

Kathi

Dusk it the best time to "get Small"

:)

[Emily Belle]

I know this may seem morbid ,but when I first started to explore the outside world , I used to visit cemeteries, they are quite and you can stroll about without too much attention , I spent many happy hours walking around getting used to people seeing me and trying to act ladylike

:hugs:

J-JAY

As it gradually darkens you have your freedom of Movement
to get accostumed to walking about.

[kayegirl]

Once again Stephie has it right, the best and safest time to go out alone is in broad daylight, and to the busiest place you can find. My first outings were at night and I found them very frightening. Next I tried daytime, parks and quiet places, but again a girl on her own attracts attention. But the places that I have attacted the least attention have been busy shopping malls or town centres.

[CLARRISA]

Its more about what mindset rather than time set...Just think "I'm a woman, i need some new shoes, better hurry up and get ready before the shops shut"...and thats it, then go out and just focus on what your missions going to be..you're a woman, or to any discerning observers a TS..its your life to live..its not up to other people to decide that you should stay home. I done that for too many years to my regret...Just be mindfull of what you wear, aim to blend in..

[skirtsuit]

I have to agree with everyone about daytime being the safest. There may be creeps out during the day, but the real danger of violence is at night. I feel safest in a crowd where I'll be noticed the least by any one person. However, I don't think I would have had the guts to go out at all had I not started going to a CD/TV night at a local club. I started dressing there at first, so it was a bit of a baby step out the door.

All the Best & get out of the house!

Ann / SS

[carhill2mn]

IMHO what "time" is not as important as where and under what conditions. Your actions, manner of dress and makeup also are important. Generally "small, safe" steps are better. Try to "blend" into whatever environment you will be in. It does take time and repetition to improve your look, actions and self-confidence. It is best if you can act as if you belong where ever you are; do not "sneak" around avoiding eye contact etc.; do SMILE! Watch how women act as they go about whatever it is that they are doing and try to emulate without over doing it.

Good luck! Enjoy!

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Andrea,


The safest time to go out alone is in full daylight in a crowd of busy people.

Thats the philosophy I used when I started going out. I found mid morning a particularly good time, the malls generally have quite a few customers, but not overly crowded, and the Neanderthals are probably still in bed.

Good luck

Tash :)

[Lexine]

I went out in the evenings with friends. Less people, but at the same time you're with people you know :)

[Debb]

eluuzion has it right although she may not realize it.

If you prefer to go out alone, early morning is a pretty good time. I do my jogging at 5.00 am and ALWAYS dress up for the occasion. I usually see one bicyclist on the jogging path, and no joggers or anybody else. On Saturdays or Sundays, the occasional dog-walker.

It's a decent way to build up some confidence, although the confidence is really an illusion since you're not subjecting yourself to any scrutiny.

The dark can be your friend sometimes. It's all about your comfort zone, and if you work on it, you can expand that zone a little bit at a time.

[Paula_56]

As transgendered people many of us lead lives of guilt, fear and shame. For years I was afraid to leave my home or hotel room out of fear. Until recently, I made the realization that there was nothing to be afraid of. Being transgendered or cross-dressing is not wrong. We are different, but the world can and does accept us. I use to scurry from hotel to car and walk around parking lots at night. Half hidden, half in sight. Now I walk right thru the lobby, take an elevator, and nobody cares. Sure I am read sometimes. This was the big obstacle I had to get over. When you’re read, nothing bad happens. People just go on with there business. Waitresses clerks, sales associates have never reacted badly they are a polite and accommodating.
I also use to fear shopping endrab. If you dress nicely, don’t act creepy or guilty, most sales people are really happy to help. I always smile and thank them. It’s more than most customers do. I tell them right off I need a pair of black slacks for myself, or I need a dress for an event I am attending. The first time I did this I was shaking, but after a couple of times I began to realize that no one else had a problem with this. The problem was in my head.
You may not want to be outed, to your family and friends but admitting you are a cross dresser to a sales associate in a store away from your home area is safe, liberating and a non issue.
So go ahead you have nothing to loose here, try getting out in small steps. Go to the cosmetics counter in the mall. Nordstrom’s is famous in the TG community for being super helpful; they will always make you feel good about your self. Other stores that have been helpful to me are Fashion Bug, Lane Bryant, Lord and Taylor, and Payless Shoes.
My message here is this, you can admit being transgendered to a sales associate and you will feel better for it. You can also go out in public dress as a woman and not get negative reactions. You may have heard this before, but if you are like me you never really believed it. Go ahead, don’t be afraid, take those steps, and start to live.

[Amber Chen]

I would also recommend finding a local TV/TS group to attend and get used to being "out" in the world. They are good places to meet other CDs. Then you can arrange to go out to the movies or bars with your new friends. I've been to meetings where some of the attendees would go to a local cafe for coffee and desserts.

[ShirleyO]

I guess it's all a mater of attitude. The hell with it, I go out when ever I want and I frankly don't care what anyone thinks. So far so good no one has bothered me or spoken to me about it. I live in the city in a residential neighbor hood (mostly older people) so sometimes I'll admit it's not easy but off I go anyway.
Have fun going out, but make sure you enjoy every second of it. LOL.
Shirley

[tamarav]

At some point or another, regardless of the time of day you go out, you will be noticed. The biggest thing is to learn to go along with the flow and get your heart rate back under control and enjoy it.

I spent way too many years sitting in cars too scared to even get out. What an absolute waste of time.

Take small steps, learn to blend (or not) and have fun with it. We are supposed to be enjoying what we are doing aren't we?

[smoothbikini]

i would agree that alot depends on you and the reaction you are seeking. i started out with small steps (girls short, jeans, nail polish, etc.) and by visiting places i knew would be less judgmental (the hair salon, the beach) and slowly worked my confidence level up.

be brave, and good luck! :daydreaming:

[Karen__Starr]

First off speaking from experience prior to going out is to prepare yourself not just, in how you dress but most importantly is having the proper attitude and mindset. You can surely start early morning or late evening but that is when the creeps are out also. As msniki48 suggested, support groups can be extremely helpful. When going out day or night without any specific place in mind like taking a walk dress as a genuine female would dress. Make sure to have your identification with you along with keeping a level head as in covering all bases such as not locking yourself out of the house (as I have read that some members here have done). I always keep spare clothes in my car for both male and female mode just in case the unexpected happens.

[Anneliese]

Tonight I was someplace where there was a strong likelihood of seeing somebody cross-dressed, so I was keeping an eye out. Sure enough, there was a couple, one black, one white, both dressed. I didn't say anything. Both might pass to somebody who wasn't really paying attention, but they were pretty obvious to me. However, I admire anyone who goes out. I'm not there yet. I'm fairly well known in my city, so even shopping for clothes has its risks. I think if I'm ever going to go out, it's going to be somewhere else...at least the first couple of times.

There was one woman there who was way over the top and quite beautiful at the same time. She had a slightly masculine face combined with a spectacular figure. If she was CD/TS or GG, which I'd call 50/50, I'd be with her in a second.

[abigail43]

Yes I have to agree going out during the day would have to be the safest and once you get out there you will find that people are very tolerant and I have found that they can be quite accommodating so femme up and have a ball on your first outing go shopping you will find it quite liberating

[prene]

I have gone out during the late for food at a fast food place. I was scary at first but I found if it is not really busy most people were OK.

Going on walks in the rain was always fun and safe.
My throught are since people are just trying to get out of the water and you are covered even myself 6'+ and thunder thighs is not very noticeable.

My best time is anytime when I am with a group of my friends.
Fun and safe.

[vivianann]

There is alot of good advice here in this thread about going out in public enfemme. take small steps, and eventually it will get easier, what ever you do dont go near dark obscure places. I now go where there are alot of peaple because you will be safer there.