Is it possible to be both male & female?

[elusivebeauty]

I don't look at myself as two different people anymore. I used too, mostly because I was compartmentalizing my life into typical guy interests and typical girl interests, but ultimately one side ended up being suppressed. It's society that says you have to be one or the other so inevitably what happens is you divide and create. Now, I intermix my life and as I do that line that used to be so clear has become blurred. Of course, because I am private about my dressing there is a line still. As blurred as it may be, it's there until I choose (if ever) to be open completely about who I am.

What I want to know, and I would like some feedback, is it possible to "cross the streams." It's become difficult to be only one because I want to be both. I know this would mean a lot of social rejection, but is anyone successfully a hybrid? If so, I am curious how you got to that point. I hope I made since, if you need me to clarify I would be more than happy too. Thanks!

[sissystephanie]

I think there are a lot of people on this Forum who think they are "Hybrids!" Not sure that I agree with them, but to each his own. I do wear womens clothing, but I am a man, plain and simple. Always have been, and always will be. Since I don't do wigs or makeup well, I am definitely a man in feminine clothes when I dress! Not at all a Hybrid!

[charlotte_sp]

I've been keeping my male and female social circles and activities separate too, and I've been okay so far.
I guess I haven't really felt the need to mix them at all.
Take that with a grain of salt though because I haven't been dressing that long XD

When you say you "want to be both", I'm not sure I understand what your ultimate goal is.
Could you please give us some examples?

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Hell ya!!!!! That's what it's all about ...being both male and female and being able to flow back an forth normally....once you get there and can do it it's a blast!!!!

Steph

[Deborah Jane]

I'm always the same person, just sometimes I try to be pretty :)

[suzy1]

I am definitely two people. When I am Suzy, that’s who I am. To have two wonderful lives is amazing, a wonderful gift. That’s how I see it.
It took no effort to be like that, it just comes naturally. I love life.

A happy SUZY

[Joanne f]

Yes it is possible to be both at the same time and just be one , a middle way where one is not dominant over the other one and the easiest way to get that is to just be your self and not assume that one must be dominant , there is no slot that you have to fit into so that you can say " i am this but i do this" just be you .

[Anneliese]

I am both, without question.

[Andy66]

Yes it is possible to be both at the same time and just be one , a middle way where one is not dominant over the other one and the easiest way to get that is to just be your self and not assume that one must be dominant , there is no slot that you have to fit into so that you can say " i am this but i do this" just be you .
Yeah, what she said.

I've been doing it all my life and never quite realized it until I had been hanging around here a while. I often wear mixed men's/women's clothing, and feel more masculine or feminine as the mood strikes me, no matter what I happen to be wearing at the time. I never could pick a "team" and stick with it, and see no reason why I should. :)

[Anneliese]

It would be completely boring to be one gender exclusively, especially if they were prototypical. Life is about differences and being your own person. I would hope they broke the mold after they made me.

[Andrea's Lynne]

I'm with Deborah Jane on this one!:heehee:

[SusanCACD]

When a baby was born with what they called "ambiguous gentility, they would say the child is a hermaphrodite. These days they label them as inter sexed. The reason for this is there really is no possible way to be both totally male and totally female at the same time. "They" say angles are both sexes, a hermaphrodite, but who wants to see an angle, they are sent by God to kill you, otherwise you would never see them. Anyway, I do understand your confusion and wish you all the luch in the world. If you do find an answer let me know OK?

Susan

[Bethany38]

Hell ya!!!!! That's what it's all about ...being both male and female and being able to flow back an forth normally....once you get there and can do it it's a blast!!!!

Steph


Now only if I could get there. I have to say it would be nice to be able to be both at the same time.:D

[Jonianne]

.....is it possible to "cross the streams." It's become difficult to be only one because I want to be both. I know this would mean a lot of social rejection, but is anyone successfully a hybrid?.....

I assume you mean androgynous? Hybrid sounds more like a car or something.

I guess I fit one of the definations of androgynous, because I don't present entirely masculine or feminine. I think what has worked for me is:

1. I still present clearly that I am a guy to my family and work, even though my hair and cloths and other aspects may appear quite feminine at times.

2. Even though I may be seen as a feminine male, I am OK and don't worry that they may think I am gay. I don't go around trying to explain myself all the time.

3. People know me, know who I am and I have gone slow, giving them (and me!) plenty of time to become accustom to the gradual changes (letting my hair grow, etc) in me expressing the feminine part of who I am.

4. I have had discussions with key people in my life, letting them know I am a crossdresser and so I don't think they are suprised.

5. I do try to keep a balance and not go overboard and always consider others feelings about it, while at the same time, still being faithful to me.

6. I work hard at being the best husband, father and co-worker I can be so that I can maintain the respect of others, even if they happen to roll their eyes or give each other glances (which I haven't even noticed). That's OK. They are OK to feel what they feel, as long as we can work together professionally and with respect for each other.

[Joanne f]

There is also a dark side to this middle way that you must be careful not to fall into because you are nether one or the other you can get into a state where you will never feel happy because of you physical gender but you can soon learn to see past that and it rarely happens .

[AKAMichelle]

That is the elusive balance. I think when you realize that you are the same with or without the clothes then you are headed in the right direction.

[NathalieX66]

The native Americans call this "two-spirit" . They refer to this as warrior/princess.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-Spirit

[Nikki A.]

I used to try to keep both sides apart but with time I think that I am learning that this is one and have been trying to meld them into one.
Because of my job I need to present male predominatly, but with a softer side becoming more a part of who I am. I have also come out to more people and have pushed the boundaries more and more.

[Sophie_C]

Without being in some outsider group of people embracing androgyny, no. People only understand gender roles, for the most part, and WILL be confused...

[Debb]

I'm always the same person, just sometimes I try to be pretty :)

I *love* this! Me too, me too!

I feel that keeping the two sides of me was necessary for a time, but that time is over, and it is high time I got "integrated".

I'm working on it, in my own way ... an uneducated way to be sure, but I'm trying. I will start seeing a counselor soon to help me through some rough spots, but in the mean time, I'm trying hard to go out dressed and be myself, with no guilt or fear ... to make small adjustments each day.

[Karen564]

From what I've seen, I think this site is a testament of many who are both male & female..

:hugs:

[linnea]

Yes, but if you actually change gender from male to female, there's very little chance that you can change back, so by "hybrid" that's what you mean, you're really in the realm of CDing--and it can be a wonderful realm.

[dennisGTS]

I'd consider myself a "hybrid". IMO, if I were a GG, I think I would be the perfect lesbian!

Although, I think I'm more male biased than female. My wife will sometimes comment that I act like a girl. But I make a point to act like the typical male (burping, farting, vulgar, etc...) when I'm at work with the Army guys.

[Lexine]

I can say that parts of me represent both genders, but its definition may vary per person. If genitalia is a sign of gender, then its impossible to be both unless your a eunuch or a hermaphrodite :D

However, there are many other variables to gender, such as presentation, mannerism, and voice. I can choose to represent myself in either boy or girl, but I think the most difficult representation has to be being in the middle.

Last night, I experimented with this by wearing a fairly androgynous outfit and putting eyeliner on to emphasize the femininity of my eyes and, in turn, shaved really well. Voice became an issue, as there is no "androgynous voice" that I know of - if you go too far to male, it's obviously male, but if you go too far into femme, you might be misconstrued as gay. It's weird like that :P

Either way, being in the middle is challenging - and to me this is what defines "being both." Though according to your question, you mean being able to live as both a boy and a girl. To that, I answer yes... it is possible, but your friends and loved ones need to know your motivations and have a clear understanding that you are still you regardless of how you present yourself.

A good explanation, in my opinion, is to liken it to one presenting as part of a sub-group (goths, etc). It's a form of self-expression, a lifestyle choice if you will, and despite that person choosing to represent themselves in that manner, its still the same person deep inside.

Hope this helps!

[Lynn Marie]

I'm quite happy with the two of me. Wouldn't want to change a thing, with the possible exception of a more varied femme wardrobe.

[reina1321]

i'm mentaly both male and female
but the funny thing people constantly confuse
me as a female :heehee:

[Mouse]

I have merged the two sides together. My male directly co-insides with my female, and I'm always the same person. It just happens to work better that way, for me at least.

I have two separate sides. The "boy" part is always out around my friends, my brother, and my mom, where as the "girl" part usually comes out when I'm with Mouse. It's gotten harder since he moved in with me. I'm constantly a boy because we live with my parents, and they don't know... would kill me if they knew, probably disown me and kick us out, and I know Mouse isn't happy about it because my boy side is kind of mean ... :( He got me a new bra, panties and a skirt the other day and wanted me to try them on, but I got mad because I was afraid my mom would catch us so I kind of raised my voice... I feel so bad about it now, I know he was just trying to help... I'm a lot quieter when I'm a girl, too. I'm shy.

*NOTE* Nikki decided she didn't want to make an account because she's terrified of being "found out", so we're going to attempt to both just post here... she'll be pink and I'll be the navy blue... I hope that's okay x.x

[suchacutie]

I too slide back and forth from one gender to the other, but that puts me into the "two people" kind of category. The original question, if I understood it, is about the opposite of sliding back and forth, i.e. to stall somewhere in the middle between the two genders, presenting as some mix of genders.

Clearly I think we all have had the experience of meeting someone and not being sure of their biological gender. Isn't this what the initial question was about, and how to acheive that end?

tina

[SummerJ]

it really all falls down to how you define "male" and "female"

lots of the things that are "male and female" are just societal constructions

I'm the same person whether I'm dressed or not... I enjoy watching scifi/action movies, I think about engineering stuff, but at the same time, I get excited when I see nail polish in the store... but all of those things aren't necessarily gender exclusive, they're just generalizations that occur in society

[noeleena]

Hi.
To answer your ?? im both & from birth wired both with a male & female mind/ brain, or if you like a androgynous person.
you can be brought up male or female how your wired remains the same. & as you get older . it is just there.

& i am content & happy being who i am . i live as a woman because i am .
I looked at a lot of different details regarding what & who i am & that took a while to fully understand who i was / am yet knew all along just did not click thats all . & i never was told any thing about my self such as some who are told they are transsexuals or what ever.
i knew i could not explain even if i had been asked some years ago. any way when you accept your self its just so neat, words will never express whats inside of you.

...noeleena...

[eluuzion]

You just have to be cautious when visiting somebody in a mental institution or re-hab facility.

The psychiatric facilitators, therapists and support staff tend to describe such behavior in clinical terms such as schizophrenosis, multiple personality, etc. You want to make sure nobody gets the idea to replace your visitor pass with an ID patient wrist band.:love::D:love:

[Tina B.]

No, I am in the, I'm a male camp, I just like to dress up and play with make up instead of watching football.
Wanting to be a woman sometimes is all in my head, (but the rest of me is all guy).
Tina B.

[Pythos]

I agree with what some have stated here.
Skirts, dresses, hose, leggings, long hair, hairy legs, muscels, jeans, and so on are not inherently male or female.

It is all social construction. Really for me, the only exclusively male thinks are lack of hips, external genitalia, and flat chests. For women, internal genitalia, breasts, greatly accentuated hips, and different fat distribution from men. The only exclusively male or female clothing articles to me are Bra, and jock strap. That's really it, when one gets down to brass tacks.

What is really funny is most of the clothing and styles considered female only were once MALE ONLY. LOL. How is that for irony?

Heels are a product of warfare for one. Short skirts were worn only by men, women were forbidden from showing their legs.

It is amazing how ignorant the mainstream can be.

In answer to the question, I am physically male, but mentally fem androgynous. On the DOGIATI I got a 3, I only added the "fem" due to my preference to have feminine aspects in my appearance.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I'm definitely both at the same time. I think I skew a little more towards being a guy with a bit of girl mixed in. Eddie Izzard once described himself as a whole man and half a woman, which I thought was somewhat clever. The COGIATI isn't entirely scientific but it's results for me have me as being mentally androgynous but male-leaning and I'm pretty ok with that assertion.

[Byanca]

I look at myself as both male and female. But a woman. Male and female is for me physical. Body, brain wiring etc. So the male stuff there could go away, don't care for it. It's baggage. Driving around with the car loaded down with stones, so it barely moves. It's unfortunate, since I have not grown accustomed to use it's qualities. So I should probably throw the stones out, to lighten the load for a more pleasant ride.

[Rachel Morley]

Is it possible? ... yes I think it is. For myself, I don't really like to think of myself as being a "man" yet I know in my heart of hearts that I am (unfortunately) not a woman either. What am I? .... I have no clue. My wife says that she thinks that I am "woman-like" in my behavior, or that's to say, I don't think I'm really like other guys at all. Most of the things I say and do are more akin to a woman rather than a man. My dress sense often gives off mixed signals too ... not sure if it's androgynous or not but it's not "regular male".

At work, I present less girly with no makeup and my clothes, while still girls ones, are more unisex in nature. Outside of work I think that people would consider me a feminine male, and like Jonianne, I am OK with that and don't worry that people may think I am gay. I look a little bit nerdy and a little bit of a sissy but I'm ok with that too.

So your question: Is it possible to be both male and female? ... yes, I think it is. :)

[Lexine]

I actually looked into taking the COGIATI that Ryan mentioned, and what do you know?



Your COGIATI result value is: 80
Which means that you fall within the following category:

COGIATI classification THREE, ANDROGYNE

What this means is that the Combined Gender Identity And Transsexuality Inventory has classified your internal gender identity to be essentially androgynous, both male and female at the same time, or possibly neither. In some cultures in history, you would be considered to be a third sex, independent of the polarities of masculine or feminine. Your gender issues are intrinsic to your construction, and you will most likely find your happiness playing with expressing both genders as you feel like it.

Just wanted to share this since I felt this was relevant to the topic. Again, as with what Ryan said, this is hardly scientific since some of the questions can be easily gamed, but I find the results rather interesting.

Anyone interested in taking it can go here:
http://www.transsexual.org/cogiati_english.html

[Dana]

I assume you mean androgynous? Hybrid sounds more like a car or something.

I guess I fit one of the definitions of androgynous, because I don't present entirely masculine or feminine. I think what has worked for me is:

1. I still present clearly that I am a guy to my family and work, even though my hair and cloths and other aspects may appear quite feminine at times.

2. Even though I may be seen as a feminine male, I am OK and don't worry that they may think I am gay. I don't go around trying to explain myself all the time.

3. People know me, know who I am and I have gone slow, giving them (and me!) plenty of time to become accustom to the gradual changes (letting my hair grow, etc) in me expressing the feminine part of who I am.

4. I have had discussions with key people in my life, letting them know I am a cross dresser and so I don't think they are surprised.

5. I do try to keep a balance and not go overboard and always consider others feelings about it, while at the same time, still being faithful to me.

6. I work hard at being the best husband, father and co-worker I can be so that I can maintain the respect of others, even if they happen to roll their eyes or give each other glances (which I haven't even noticed). That's OK. They are OK to feel what they feel, as long as we can work together professionally and with respect for each other.

Mathematically, satanically and scientifically should exist!

[Dana]

Mathematically, satanically and scientifically should exist! as you are


Quite stressing!~

[johnboy23]

Id like to think im in the middle. I dont "dress to go out" but I do dress in feminine clothes and I dont wear wigs or make up. I still act like a man when out but can act like a woman if it calles for it. Not sure if that will make sense to you. Does to me lol. If I wear a dress and heels then I am going to the club or staying inside.

[LaraCreaft]

Yeah, what she said.

I've been doing it all my life and never quite realized it until I had been hanging around here a while. I often wear mixed men's/women's clothing, and feel more masculine or feminine as the mood strikes me, no matter what I happen to be wearing at the time. I never could pick a "team" and stick with it, and see no reason why I should. :)

I would have to agree with you, as to me as well...not sure if that makes sense, but who cares?

[NathalieX66]

I am both, without question.

Ditto.
That's both a curse and a blessing.
A million times I think of going the route of MTF transtion, and the answer is always no. I know quite a few who have, and they are not me. I love them to death.
I am glad that I go out occasionally, even in public, and I just love to doll myself up and do the girliest of things. But after the night's over, I'll put a wrench in my hand, and I will attack that engine or boiler like the best of any macho guy., and I'll even kill myself to swoon over that chick I met.

[LaraCreaft]

Personally, I act the way I act, weird and crazy, but in a good way. I let myself loose, sort of, and not worry too much of the reactions I get from others. I do have some feminine traits, like dressing up in feminine clothing, and wanting to look pretty, but I like to be physical as well. I think if I can just sometimes just dress enfemme, then I'll be better.