Are we serious about our CDing.

[ShirleyO]

I have read many threads and looked at hundreds of pictures of CDs and I always wonder what and why we are doing this. Nearly all the girls on this site are wonderful and I believe they have their heads on straight. Most dress properly and I believe that they want truly to blend in and move about the female world with ease. And many do especially the women that want to transition. But how about us CDrs who just love dressing up? Make no mistake I have all the wants and desires that the rest of you do and dressing up for me is truly a wonderful and liberating thing and it means allot to me to be able to dress and blend. I also feel like I need to be appropriate and look my best to honor the wonderful women that I enjoy emulating. Here is why I ask the question. Many of us are working hard to turn the public perception of CDrs but there are the few that always seems to destroy our image by dressing inappropriately in public and doing silly things that bring a bad taste to CDrs in general. Now I do understand there is a time and place for everything and I don't have any problems with it. I do feel however that some of us need help with our appearance and acting appropriate while in public. Oh and I have to say that the recent TV special Trantasia was horrible as it portrayed us to the general public as a bunch of catty bitchy bimbos. This site is the best for getting help if you want it. I guess I am speaking to those who put trashy picture on the internet for sexual kicks and to satisfy their need to be an exhibitionist. The biggest compliments I have ever received was being asked to come back to a store anytime and GGs complimenting me on my appearance and wanting to know where I bought my cloths. Girls tell me if I am off base, do we need to help those that are having trouble? Or, do just continue to do the best we can by our selves?

[Kathi Lake]

Well by all means, we help whoever we can! That is not an issue.

The issue is, what if they don't want help? What if they think they're just fine? Who are we to judge? Would I ever wear a pair of 7-inch stilettos and a maid's outfit out and about? Never! That's just me, of course. For others, it may be no big deal and a way of showing their individuality.

It all comes down to the whole "glass houses" issue. I am a man wearing a dress. Can I really look down on someone wearing a maid's outfit? PVC? A furry suit? No. So, if we have to risk "bad press" because some people can't conform to society, then, . . . oh, . . . wait That pretty much describes all of us!

:)

Kathi

[Deborah Jane]

Well said Kathi, you've pretty much said the same as I was going too :)

Who are we to judge anyone else, considering who we are.

If it makes you happy, isn't illegal and nobodies getting hurt by it, just do it!

[SuzanneBender]

Shirley I know I can always use a little help. Namely in the form of a monetary donation to the buy Suzanne a new pair of shoes or purse fund. :heehee:

My motivations for dressing are very similar to yours. I also find transgenderism a wonderful and liberating experience and I try to emulate in my opinion what I consider to be the best of the feminine mystic. (Try is the key word here). However, each of us has our own vision of that mystic and even more importantly many others have reason for dressing significantly different from ours.

Are there stereotypes of us out there that hurt the cause of societal acceptance? You bet. Are there people out there that play into those stereotypes? You bet. Are they wrong for dressing the way they do? Not in their opinion and me telling them they can't express themselves in a way that they desire is no different than someone telling me I can't wear a nice dress and designer shoes during a night out.

It sounds you are doing what you need to do to make the world a better place for our blessed transgendered souls. You are being an ambassador representing your version of what we do.

[Kaz]

Hi Shirley,

As you know, there are many reasons we do this. As Kathi has said, there are some that are on the drag queen side of things and seem to want to exagerate their interpretation of female sexuality. There are others who want to put on a dress occasionally when no-one is at home because it feels good. An then there is everyone else on this broad spectrum...

And there we are really... I guess the "out there" queens may give "others" a bad name, but then if you read these threads, us closet mortals seem to cause others problems too!

We live in a diverse and wonderful world...

I guess we all need to find our own path and be true to ourselves...

:hugs:xx

[RozalynLove]

To be honest, I feel like it's an individual thing, a random person dressing in a certain way doesn't affect me or my personal reputation, and if it's how they want to live their life, I am extremely happy they feel comfortable doing so! People dress for different reasons, and dress differently depending on the situation, and what that means to them. I think it's ridiculous to offer unsolicited help to perfectly happy people who are hurting no one! Just concentrate on your own life, and how you can improve that!

[BRANDYJ]

Part o the problem is that as CDer's, we range from those that use the cross dressing merely as a sexual kink or fetish to those that are, or are thinking about transition. The fetish or kink CDer's do not wish to emulate what most of us admire and respect, a true lady, a GG woman.
Unfortunately, there are CDer's that simply do not, can not pass or blend in. They will always look like a man in a dress and stand out like a sore thumb, I don't care how they dress or act. But they venture out in public, some even still have beards or a mustache! They don't care how silly, foolish they look, so it reflects on all CDer's

Then the very small minority that can venture out in public and blend in or pass is so small that it does not help the bad image that most have of us CDer's. Now add those that even though they could blend in will never go out in public, not even at night.

Sure, many of us here envy those that look beautiful and natural. We wish we looked that good and could then go out in public. Or go into a dress shop and be up front and say that they are shopping for themselves. My guess is that only 2-4 % of the members here fit that criteria and have the guts to venture out. Think about it. Most here have not even told their wife of 10+ years! You think they are going to be in the fore front to gain acceptance from society? Not a chance.

I have and can pass in a dark night club. But I will never be brave or foolish enough to go out shopping dressed. It's just not me. I care what others think and feel. I worry that I'd make someone uncomfortable being around what is really a man in a dress. Some of you don't care. That's OK. again, it's just not me. The only place you will see me out dressed is in clubs where it is very acceptable and welcomed.

Now what was the question? Oh, am I serious about crossdressing? Yes, very much so. But that does not let me get so into the pink fog as to forget what I'm doing and allow myself humiliation or worse. Bet anything, I'm in the majority here. Going out or not going out does not make us more or less serious.

[Lorileah]

squeaky wheel...grease. :) so the ones who make the biggest most blatant statement get the notice. You know that everyday there are oh 50 of us or so who go through life NOT bringing attention to ourselves (OK kidding) but it is unlikely we will get on TV unless while you are dressed you save a litter of kittens from a burning house, and then you will be proclaimed Drag Queen saves kittens!

I understand your idea of dressing appropriately but there really isn't any fashion police who make those rules. We are a broad spectrum, we cover a lot of ground. We are not "either/or". No more than anyone else (honestly when was the last time you saw a hooker dressed like what we say hookers dress like except on TV?). As a marginalized group we will be labeled as the very fringe. To the public, unless you are transsexual, if you dress you are a psycho or a drag queen. Very few movies show a CD who is "normal" in a family situation. So I don't think we can put the blame on our sisters (read me because if you have seen my photos I have been told I am inappropriate) for this. We all don't want to look like the "librarian". We have to change perception by showing that we are functioning parts of the community. This will start within the community when we get more of the TG's to realize they are not bad people and should be more open about their dressing. Then we need to get society to see us as an integral part of the world (we already are, they just don't see it) and have Hollywood and the News quit focusing on what really is not indicative of the TG community as a whole.

This week was Pride here in Denver. I saw half a dozen "sisters" (sorry girls you were "clocked" as you say) who were dressed in a fairly conservative manner and I saw as many who were blatant. There probably were that many more who actually did blend in enough to not be noticed. Guess which ones were featured on TV? You can't argue with what people are shown. Too Wong Foo, Priscilla, Some like it Hot, Tootsie, Mrs Doubtfire...were any of those showing real TG life? No, great entertainment though. Who wants to see someone walk a dog, mow the lawn, make dinner? It has been the same of decades. Other groups have banded together to dispel those inaccuracies. We can't do that when more than half the CD's here won't even tell their SOs. So WE put restraints on ourselves. Hard to fight stereotypes when we have those same ideas.

Welcome to the soapbox I have thumped for over two years. Always great to see someone with ideals who is willing to express them. Little by little maybe we can change some minds. :)

[kimdl93]

I'm not out there in public, but in public or private I lean towards situation and age appropriate attire. I want to present as a real woman my age...to the extent my physical constraints permit. I have to agree with the consensus here - that the more we are able to "blend in" the less notice we get. So, naturally the more outlandish and extravagant generate the stereotypes many of us would like to overcome.

[Virgin_CD]

:brolleyes: I can only speak for myself. The urge to CD comes and goes in intensity and overall, is not so strong... so I can take it or leave it. While I was in the closet, the occasional opportunity was sufficient, as a minimum. Now that my wife knows, I am approaching it as "A hobby" to also lessen the shock to my wife. The feelings I have are permenant and will be good to reconcile or understand for both my wife and I... but life comes in cycles and I am taking advantage of that to sort of "Have a splurge" now while I am away from home on an extended business trip and later when I return home in AL I'll neglect it for awhile.. "No pressure hun" on the wife.

But one thing I am sure of, and will not vaselate, are the friendships I make, largely on this forum. These are "Drab" friends and will remain long term friends, in my DRAB world. We share an awful lot with each other just because of the unique characteristics that are common to "US". It's like a good reason to have empathy for each other, what we went thru in the early years of having the urges and not knowing how to think of them.. and I deeply feel for any sister still in the closet. So while my dressing may ebb and flow... my sisters friendships remain constant and long lasting. The only difference now is that because my wife knows, I won't be purging my stuff, donating it to one of my sisters... Sorry gurls, but you can borrow. Now I can invest in decent makeup, shoes and a wig! :)

[donninacd]

I'm sorry but I'm in it primarily for the exhibitionistic fun of it. I'm certainly not going to change for you, but if you feel like I'm giving you an especially bad name, well then you might have a choice to make for yourself :Angry3:

[Marcia Blue]

I can only speak for myself. I dress like most self respecting GGs my age, when in public. I feel so much more at ease when I blend, I feel I only pass at a distance. Dressing inappropriately would only draw unwanted attention to me.

My CD friends who I go out with, do the same. Halloween is the only time the boundaries get blurred, but that is what the holiday is all about.

[AllieSF]

I am serious about what I do, and I would guess that most all of us are too. Maybe those just starting to experiment with this side of themselves are less serious, who knows? I always hear that we should band together like a family to make our voice heard. Well, I am one of those in the silent majority who probably will not be carrying and waving any flags. However, I am and will continue to be one of those fortunate ladies who gets to go out on the town a lot and interface with whomever I encounter while out and about. So, without consciously making that special effort, I, like so many others, am still an ambassador for all of us.

As others have so clearly and eloquently said above, what floats one's boat might not be to someone else's liking. Who am I to say that they cannot dress and act as they see fit? If I do not like what I see, I can easily look the other way. I actually am very happy that so many people do go out dressed in all shapes, forms and colors. To me, some look good while some really look bad. I think that we all benefit from that, because when the general public sees the full spectrum, including someone better dressed and better acting, they can easily see and hopefully realize that just like in their "real and normal" world, we also come in all shapes and sizes. A true rainbow of colors!

[msginaadoll]

I think the tent is big enough to cover all of us wherever we fall in the spectrum. I for one love to get out and about, and love even more to go out with friends. Most nof them do dress in a manner similar to women there age, and maybe a little more glam at clubs. I have been out though with another friend at a pride event who tend to dress a little more provocative( at least in my opinion.) I think all of them are great ladies. I would not be embarrased being seen with any of them in public, and I believe they feel the same about me. We are all different which is what makes it fun. Though the friend who dressed more provocative at the pridefest I believe would dress more conservatively at the mall. If not oh well it would make an interesting day out!

[NicoleScott]

I understand what folks are saying about dressing appropriately and trying to portray a good image for cd's in public. Many that have responded present themselves in a conservative, appropriate (and pretty) way, while expressing understanding for those who desire to dress more outlandish.
I am certainly not one who would prance about Springer's stage, but I have preference for an over-the-top look. I can and have dressed conservatively, and been into shops without drawing attention as an obvious cd, but over the years I have come to know well what the drive in me is, even if I don't understand why it is that way. I made up and dressed to my over-the-top style and stayed inside for countless sessions over the years, but always wanted to get out en femme. I think it was I wanted to be seen and appreciated for my efforts. I like positive comments I get while sharing my pics online, and have no problem with those who don't like my style and say so.
So I did get out some, to a mall, some shops, and most recently (finally) to a TG-friendly club. I made up and dressed to my preferred style, wich I like to call my "femme identity", because I want to dress like that, be with others while like that, and felt it was appropriate time and place.
Having said all that, here are my two points I want to make:
1) When I dress, my aim is to please myself, not to further the cause of public acceptance of crossdressing. I would lose my job if outed, I know for sure, and family wouldn't approve either (wife knows and approves, though). Sorry, but I cannot be a soldier for the cause at this time. It's just not my drive to tone it down for others.
2) Sure, there are those who give the general public a bad image of crossdressers, but it's not fair to judge all by what you know of a few. I have seen a few good, accurate reports on TV about transsexuals, but never a good show about regular guys who like to occasionally dress up. It's always about the drag queens and impersonators and those who brashly display their gender-bending - and the brasher the better for them. So the general public knows that side of crossdressing because that's what they have been fed. Maybe reporting normal guys who wear dresses isn't exciting enough to sell. In any case, more and better information is needed.
If my style online or in public offends and contributes to giving crossdressers a bad image in general, it's an unintended consequence. You dress to express yourselves, and so do I.

[clairemarie]

I am very serious about how I dress and want to pass and be comfortable wherever I go. Being a senior cross dresser makes it a little easier to blend in. You do not draw the same attention someone younger might. This is certainly a "positive" when you get to be my age. I try to dress age appropriate and I adore the dresses and lingerie this includes.

Claire Marie

[StaceyJane]

I try very hard to be passable but I'm in no position to criticize what other people wear. Part of being a crossdresser is the freedom to wear whatever you want.
I figure if the exibitionist gets all the attention no one will notice the quiet lady with the manish looking face.

[Michaela42]

I feel that everyone should be free to wear whatever they like to wear. For some it is a nice conservative suit, others it is a micro-mini PVC dress and fetish heels.

That being said, there is (or used to be) some decorum in society. Outfit number 1 above would be just fine for doing some shopping or touring a museum, while outfit 2 would be more at home in a club that catered to that sort of thing.

The problem, in my opinion, is that people (some of them) no longer have decorum and say "Screw you, I feel comfortable so deal with it!" And it is true, they have the right, and when they do something inappropriate they have the "right" to be called on it as well.

As for the concern about certain persons giving CD's (or any other group) a "bad public image", well, I have always felt that the people who are the most upset by such things would always find something to single out people they find "undesirable." :2c:

[Lucy_Bella]

That's the difference as someone pointed out, , you have those who want to blend in and not be noticed. Those who want to be taken a serious about being a female as they dress.. You have those who do not care to be a female and are just supporting the fetish, to take the self dares or no givin a damn.

So to each their own I say , it's your thingy and soap wash it how you like.

[linnea]

I think that we help when asked and do the best we can the rest of the time.

[~Michelle~]

It's not so much about how others dress, but if you type "crossdresser" in the search box of YouTube and 99% of all the videos have nothing intelligent or useful to offer, other than a crossdresser hopping around in new lingerie/clothing, then I certainly feel the need to scratch my forehead... :doh:

[AKAMichelle]

I would just leave them to their own demise. You see women dress as ****s and the prudes all the time. That is just a flavor of us that I don't want anything to do with, but let them be.

[sterling12]

YES!!!! I wish they wouldn't try and dress like Teeny-Bop Bimbo's, nor Uber-****s. I wish they would consider that everytime they go out, no matter where, they are representing Trans Folk everywhere. I wish they wouldn't be deliberately confrontational when people will make the Inevitable Comments that go with wearing such attire.....

But they Don't! And, I can't tell them what to do or how to dress! I have no control, and in a Country that idealizes self-expression, and your Right to do The Same; I would feel oh so morally wrong in even trying to get The Others to comply.

So, we are stuck with it! Sixty year Old Men will continue to wear leather micro-mini's and minimal tank tops to The Mall. The Public will laugh and condemn them, call them "Silly Trannies." And, I will still be "tarred with The Same Brush," whether I like it or not. BUT, when they see my own presentation, perhaps they won't laugh, perhaps they will be curious enough to ask a question? Perhaps they will change an opinion about "some of us," if they talk to me.

And that is The Best Advise I can give to all of you who would worry. Be like a Model Christian. If you personally "break The Mold," maybe you have trumped some of those negative images that others might have. Maybe you can change opinions.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Lexine]

I usually offer help to girls who genuinely need help and ones who I can honestly give some advice to based on personal experience. If it's a dispute between one of us and their SO and their married, I can probably infer on things, but it becomes complicated depending on the situation. Otherwise, there needs to be a give and take - a balance - you give what you can back to the community, and you take whatever you can in order to improve yourself.

:2c:

[faltenrock]

this is kind of interesting, still a difficult question. Over about 35 years of dressing, I've come to a high degree of acceptance of who I am and why I dress and how I dress for what reason.

I agree that most of us want to blend in as perfect as possible. My ‘drive’ is that I developed a
fetish for a certain look, which you might see in all my pictures. I just love women and I love when they wear pleated miniskirts, I can’t get enough of just looking at women who dress in a particular style that I like so much.
I know, that I receive many looks of people when out and about in my little suit outfits with my skirts - that’s not the reason I dress in my own style. I dress for myself, to feel good about myself.
I also have my limits, I would never dress to show my lace stockings showing under my skirts,
or an inappropriate make-up ( I don’t wear any make-up at all). On the other hand, I understand that for some of us it is necessary to wear certain accessories like 7” heels or whatever in public. That’s fine with me.

[AriannaVillota]

All we have is our own views of femininity, and our own idea of what makes us happy. What makes us CD. What makes us enjoy doing any of it.

As much as I don't agree with certain ideals and views and ways people dress (including on this site), they still have a right.

[TrekGirl1701]

People have every right to dress the way they want to, CDer or not. Nobody is out there representing me except myself. If a CDer is walking through the mall dressed like a hooker they are representing themselves. They are not reflecting back at me. If a non-CDer sees that person and thinks "That is shameful. All CDers disgust me," that is their hang-up. I don't care one bit what a stranger thinks of me and I'll bet you that CDer doesn't either.

Just as long as people aren't exposing their genitals in public they can dress as they want.

:hmph:

[CherryZips]

How much of a problem is this really?

Exactly how common is it for a CD to go out dressed like a prostitute during the day?

[Patricia Johnson]

I find it interesting that in this group of people that constantly ask others to accept them for who they are and what they believe that so many are quick to condemn someone because of how they choose to express their individuality. We inside the community who understand the struggly against stereotyping should be fighting the hardest when it rears its head. We should not be inflicting on others what we consider to be an appropriate way to dress for this community. We should learn to see people and the things they do as individual expressions of who they are and not the governing way the group are a part of really is. In short because some GG's wear hotpants and high heels should I take that as a moral description of all GG's?

[donninacd]

I find it interesting that in this group of people that constantly ask others to accept them for who they are and what they believe that so many are quick to condemn someone because of how they choose to express their individuality.

Amen. The need to feel superior is typically driven by a deep seeded feeling of inferiority, so this seems like a case of, take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror.

To clarify something, though I said I'm in it for the exhibitionistic fun of it, I've typically only gone dressed, to clubs where that would not be frowned on. I wouldn't go to the mall in my five inch spike heels; that's why I just got a pair of knee high boots with 3 inch block heels :tongueout

[Kate Simmons]

I pretty much accept everyone as they are but if any ask for suggestions I will offer my honest opinion.:)

[Anneliese]

I haven't made a trip outside to this point. Inside, I dress as either a hippie or a tramp. If I ever ventured out, I would probably be conservative, at least initially. However, I couldn't care less how or why anyone else does anything that doesn't physically harm someone else.

[tamarav]

When you have become open to all that you know or will meet, and have some semblance of intelligence, this type of post won't even become visible on your radar.

For critiques of how some of our sisters dress in public, you are just that, a critique. Being such does nothing but point at others. Just shake your head and look at yourself and the situation you have created for yourself.

[ReineD]

I guess I am speaking to those who put trashy picture on the internet for sexual kicks and to satisfy their need to be an exhibitionist.


I'm sorry but I'm in it primarily for the exhibitionistic fun of it. I'm certainly not going to change for you, but if you feel like I'm giving you an especially bad name, well then you might have a choice to make for yourself :Angry3:

Shirley & Donnina, my aim in quoting you is not to single you out, but rather show your opposing viewpoints to illustrate what I'm about to say. You and others will need to draw parallels between the lesbian/gay communities in my story to the transgender community here.

My SO has a lesbian friend who is doing her best to help bring lesbians and gays in her community (in a town an hour away) out of the bars and nightclubs and into the more ordinary, everyday social activities such as coffee houses, picnics, trying to establish community centers, volunteering in the community, etc. Her goal is to convince her sisters and brothers that they can be themselves with their partners and share the sunlight along with everyone else. She hasn't been successful. It is a smallish sized town, and the lesbians and gays there prefer to keep a low profile. And I don't think she even knows anyone who is transgender other than my SO, due to the even deeper closet that TGs share.

At any rate, my SO's friend recognizes that when members of groups feel oppressed externally, they take on internalized oppression. The lesbians and gays in her community harm themselves by becoming exactly what society considers them to be, and they fulfill the prejudiced stereotypes and the restrictive roles placed on them externally by limiting their social activities to hanging out in bars, drinking a lot, and engaging in promiscuous behaviors. This then continues to define who they are as a group. They don't believe they deserve anything better for themselves, so they are reluctant to participate in the activities and groups that my SOs friend has tried to organize.

It's pretty hard to break out of a cage when its bars are both external and internal.

Another interesting phenomena on top of all this is the concept of horizontal oppression. This is when people who are externally and internally oppressed take their repressed anger out on the members of their own community. We see this in this forum sometimes, in the low understanding and tolerance some members have for others who express themselves differently, or who are at different points along the TG continuum.

[Tina B.]

Well said Kathi, you've pretty much said the same as I was going too :)

Who are we to judge anyone else, considering who we are.

If it makes you happy, isn't illegal and nobodies getting hurt by it, just do it!

Well I also agree with Kathi, and most of what Debs said. But considering who we are, that I don't agree with. We are a group (Large group) of people from all over the world, who share a small thing in common. Beyond being a cross dresser, or SO to a cross dresser, or TS, we can be as different as night and day.

In my youth, I dressed as a hippie, and people looked at me with scorn, I am a Transvestite (sorry to old to change titles anymore) and on top of that I am a liberal, and NASCAR fan, I just never seem to fit in anywhere. So as I have done for the last 46 years I will decide what is appropriate for me, and let you decide what is appropriate for you. If however I have a question of how to do something, then your opinion will be greatly appreciated.
Tina B.


We don't need no fashion police!

[Crissy Kay]

No for me. As a part timer, I have really never been serious about my cding. I am just into the fetish stuff that you can"t wear outside anyway. But, I do enjoy reading about the members here who do go out!!!

[Jamiegirl1]

Hello everyone, I dress for my mood, sometimes a mid length skirt and nice blouse,or a mid length dress,If I am feeling sexy,I wear a mini skirt with a bra and see through top,or a mini dress.sometimes I drive around in my two piece bikini on a hot day,and will even go into a store that way.Maybe a little bit of exhibitionism?I have nice legs and love to show them off.

[MichelleBrantin]

I think alot of it has to do with where you go to when your dressed and the age group in which you identify. Yeah when I go out sometimes I will wear 7 inch heels, but Im not that tall I go to nightclubs mostly where the average age is probably 22. My wife and her friends go to these clubs too and my outfits arent that much different than theirs. So sometimes its outfits like that fit in, I guess all Im trying to say is its best to dress with your enviornment, not all sexy photos are just for amusement

[Allyson Michelle]

Ya know, I can see where you are coming from. That is one reason I have yet to put up a real picture of myself because I still look like a "guy in a dress" rather than a passable lady. My male self is just too masculine for me to be doing this, but I just cannot help it. I have tried to quit, I have tried to move on, but one way or another it just keeps coming back for more. The longest I have been without this need was my latter years of high school because I was popular, played football, and had a GF. But after I had graduated (and broke it off with my GF) It all came rushing back like a tidal wave, only this time I had a job so i could buy my own stuff. So finally I have just accepted it as a part of who I am. So whenever I present myself dressed, which is very rarely, I try to do it with the most respect for women possible. (I still look like a "guy in a dress". I'm too genetically muscular and hairy)

[CdChloe]

Whilst I never go out, 1) because I'm not ready 2) because I'm not passable (I know this doesn't stop alot of people, especially the ones you're talking about) 3) the idea of the inlaws finding out (they live next door for those who don't know) I can see your point, I personally don't see as many cd's out as I'd like (or maybe they're done up so well I don't notice) but I have to say that even when I do see the "Skanky cd" walking down the street I can't help thinking that there are people out there drawing attention to the sort of lifestyle we have good or bad publicity the first step to being socially accepted is to be noticed!

[suchacutie]

We are on very thin ice here. As soon as we start making judgements about what one segment of our group does is good or bad we are looking at decay from inside. Who is to say what the "norm" for crossdressing should be, or the "norm" for expected behavior? Who is so perfect as to judge this issue?

What you do might make me uncomfortable, but then what I do might make you uncomfortable! The time that someone tells me that I need "help" with some aspect of my crossdressing because I'm not presenting our collective "best foot forward" is the time when I'm not going to be "civil" in my response. Asking for help, and being told we are "out of line" are two very different things.

As you can see, this notion does not find favor in this gurl.

tina

[Marissa]

Nearly all the girls on this site are wonderful and I believe they have their heads on straight. Most dress properly and I believe that they want truly to blend in and move about the female world with ease. And many do especially the women that want to transition.

Okay, as I read through the posts, especially Shirley's original.. music in my head came to mind..Pink Floyd's "The Wall"... "and that one looks queer..put him up against the wall" :eek:

okay so the words may not be exact but the idea that anyone who does not fit the 'mold' is wrong.. :sad:

I want to thank each of you for all the various replies..its says alot of who we are... individuals..free to express.. in any manner we choose (legally, of course)..

Who is to say:

I have my head on straight?
That I dress properly?
That I truly want to blend in and move about the female world with ease?
Or to even desire to transition?

And who is to say I'm not trying to reach all of the above?

Me..that is who.. :)

If I choose to ask for opinions (which is part of the acceptance of joining this site), then I welcome them..both negative and positive... and if any deviations are made, its on my own accord.. not because i'm joining the army to march down the street for acceptance.. that may come someday but not today and not tomorrow.. if at all..

I joined this site because of its name "crossdressers.com".. not "ifyoufitcrossdresser.com" or "onlyifyoupasscrossdresser.com"

Shirley, I thank you for this thread..its needed sometimes so we all know what this is really about..giving our thoughts and accepting each other for our own individuality....

"mother, did they need to make it so... high" :D

Hugs,