Never Give Up

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I have only been on my Transition Journey since the first of February. And

I have had the opportunity to experience first hand the loss of my marriage;

the loss of my business-partnership; the loss of my home; the loss of my

office; the loss of my church; the loss of family members; the loss of former

so-called friends; discrimination; prejudice; intolerance; the loss of a job

opportunity (because certain Southern Baptist church members refused to

work with or even be in the same building with me); threats of potential

violence; the subject of mean-spirited gossip; the brunt of jokes and a

multitude of insults and ridicule.

Any yet, through it all, many wonderful people have been put in my

Transition path including some wonderful therapists; doctors; laser

technicians; sales clerks; old friends who I have not seen in years who have

called to let me know that they love me and support me during my Transition.

Also, even though prejudice closed my current job situation and cost me a

future job opportunity, a new opportunity developed yesterday which will be

better than the opportunity I lost. Not all Christians are intolerant and

judmental, but all of the prejudice, ridicule and judgment has come from

the Southern Baptish Church, with the exception of the rednecks and good

old boys.

The point seems to be, that we need to never give up hope. We must hold

our heads high and press forward with confidence and determination. Even

when others have tried to pull me down, it seems that there are others who

come to your aid to lift you up.

This has been and still is an amazing journey - even when the sky looks it's

darkest, the sunlight and calm will come through if we just have the will to

continue on.

We all have read how these things occur along the Transition Journey, but

until you actually walk the walk and talk the talk and experience first hand,

you really cannot appreciate the rigors of the Journey. But to all my brothers

and sisters out there, keep your head up high and never give up.

JoAnne Wheeler

[pamela_a]

I'm saddened to hear everything you have endured so far JoAnne, but at the same time I'm so happy you have persevered.
Like steel, tempering only makes you stronger.
:hugs:

[carolinoakland]

And yet the one thing that always shine's through about you is that you know that you are now the person who is capable of meeting and beating ALL of those challenge's. Never give up is the motto of the transperson.

[Nicole Erin]

Damn, that list of things lost since February is long! :eek:
And I dared complain about MY struggles. My only real loss due to being TS is my marriage (which would have eventually fallen apart regardless.)
Girl I hope whatever your new prospect is, I hope it works out excellent.
So, if it doesn't work out, at this point you are not working, not married, probably don't have kids living at home, and pretty much lost everything that IS home, why not skip town?
MAny a TS tend to do this. TS of all passability, ages, incomes, etc, it seldom is connected to anything except acceptance. If one has it at home, they stay, if not, of if stealth is sought, they move on.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

It wasn't 30 minutes after I started this thread that my new job offer got

cancelled - due to "being unsure that they want to have a transgendered

person in their office" - so the dark cloud has reappearred - intolerance has

rearred it's ugly head once more. So now I am without a place to work.

This is going to be another test of "Never give up" !

JoAnne Wheeler

[Katesback]

What is the point of religion in the first place? Could it be control of people using fear? Why do we need it?

Well in any case I suppose this is part of the process for all too many.

[TxKimberly]

Sure wish I could think of something to say that would be cheerful and have hope in it, but I'm afraid it eludes me . . .

[Traci Elizabeth]

Joanne,

I thought you were a Kentucky Bar practicing attorney that was going to hang your own shingle out the door without your partner? What happened to that female attorney that was going to partner up with you?

Nevertheless, being an attorney, can't you just continue on practicing whatever law you specialize in without a partner?

If not, maybe it's time to move to another part of Kentucky since you are already licensed to practice in the state. I know you said in earlier posts that you are too old to move. Maybe now is the time to reconsider given all you current losses.

After all, what is left there for you to stay?

I will continue to hope for the best for your future.

[Teri Jean]

Life can and will try to make one second guess what we want and also force an issue beyond what would be normal. Congrats and wish you the best. Teri

[Frances]

You seem to live in the most hostile environnement imaginable for a trans person. Your testimonies are heartbreaking, but completely alien to me. The United States' freedoms do not seem to apply to you (and to other trans people). Move to Canada and give up on Yahwé!

[SophiaGirl]

Very inspiring words. !

[Victoria Anne]

JoAnne I am so sorry for the loss and bigetry you have to endure andwish I could offer you some words of comfort but I have none save to say that I will keep you in my prayers and tell you that I as many others here are in your corner.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Thnx Joanne for your inspiring post...

I hope you continue to grow and begin to prosper in your business

kaitlyn

[Faith_G]

Joanne, I will remember all the crap you have waded thrugh when I get down. I have nothing to complain about compared to the A-bomb that went off in your life. :hugs:

[Empress Lainie]

Thanks for sharing the good and the bad with us. Your plight reminds me of another trans friend who is a psychiatrist, and when she became the chief for the county a woman in the office said she wouldn't use the same bathroom. She took her to task (actually being her superior anyway) and they became good friends.

Hopefully you will be able to continue with your law practice either on your own or with an accepting partner.

I don't know if you can do it, but I pretty well managed to erase all trace of my former ID having been employed as female 3 times, twice by the US Census Bureau as female.All my licenses are in my new name, and all female where they show it. Only my Medicare card says Male, and I occasionally have to explain to a hospital billing dept why they have to bill it as male.
(which I truly hate!)

I even got my college transcript changed to female and my new name. Not that it did me any good trying to get a job, since no one will hire a 75yr old as I found out - except the company I work for at minimum wage who does not care how old you are.

You are probably smarter than I am and more able to work in a new area where you can be known only as a female, of course this involves either commuting or actually moving.

I am sure that many of us have just gone somewhere new and left our OLD SELF behind, but I know it isn't easy to do.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Yes, I could, and now probably will, have to practice alone. I wanted so much to practice with other women. I wanted the friendship, girltalk, and female socialization that I could get there. And while the female attorneys at two different offices both welcomed me with open arms to my face, it was only a day or two before I would get some lame excuse as to why it just would not work out. The real reason and the common denominator is that the attorneys have office managers and secretarys and the other has her mother living with her and the office manager, secretary and mother all attend the same Southern Baptist Church that preaches hate and bigotry.

My dream was to blend in and learn from all these women attorneys. Now, I am just a "leper" and a transgendered one at that. According to the church, you are not to associate with transgendered people or you will go to Hell along with them.

This is all very distressing to me.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Rogina B]

Many transitioning girls just START OVER,someplace more tolerant.Many have told you to leave.Start over,for the good of you...:love:

[Veronica_Jean]

Joanne,

You are facing a lot, and you have become very strong as a result.

You can leave, you can stay. IMHO it is whatever keeps you the safest. Unless the population of that particular church is 50% of the population where you live, their influence will only extend so far. If there is a need for the services you provide, then people will come to take care of their need.

The law is suppose to be blind, and as such you should still be able to continue to provide the same quality you always did. Perhaps you have even provided some of these people with success before they knew. How ironic, that the same ones that owe you a debt of gratitude or more, could be the ones that now are trying to ostracize you.

Continue to follow your heart. It will lead you to a better place and time.

:hugs::hugs:

Veronica

[Daenna Paz]

According to the church, you are not to associate with transgendered people or you will go to Hell along with them.

JoAnne Wheeler[/QUOTE]

So then ... Jesus cavorting with all those sinners ... what does that mean?
Sometimes organized religion makes me want to scream!!!:Angry3:

[katieblush]

Hiya Joanne, well well what a tangled web we weave,i feel your pain and wish you well.

Since coming out to folk the world for me has changed,and is still changing (scary time),well when you go on the path you really get to find out all about being diffrent,things i hope will get better for you, maybe after a little time things will not be so bad for you. :)

[Rianna Humble]

Hi JoAnne, thank you for the inspiring words. I wish there was some way we could make it easier for you. :bighug:

You really are incredibly brave facing up to all of that prejudice and still going forward to be the woman you should always have been.

I know first hand how destructive the religious bigots can be, but I sense that you are stronger than their hatred. Whilst I understand those who are suggesting you move away, it seems to me that it would be like giving the bigots another victory.

I can see that above all else you are true to yourself. It can't be easy, but I hope that you can stand strong and be proud of who you are.

[Traci Elizabeth]

JoAnne...you have got to learn to find "something" positive in each day. All of your initiated threads these days are so negative.

I don't know about others but I am getting to the point I am afraid to read them because you are allowing this to tank on you.

I fear you might stress yourself into the hospital. You and I are not spring chickens anymore and the key to our longevity is ridding ourselves of stress.

Yes, I know it is hard ending your marriage, loosing your practice with your partner but for your own well-being, find something to enjoy, something uplifting, and make yourself laugh each and every day!

You will never get out of the abyss if you first don't lift yourself up and climb one step above the other! :hugs:

[Nicole Erin]

I don't think moving away would be a sign of letting the bad guys win. People move from bad or hostile areas all the time. That is common. Maybe it is a nice place, the riff raff comes in, takes over, the good folks move to better areas, and the once good places crumble in their own filth.

Ok look, when a certain group is dominant in an area there is this whole "proxy" mentality. Some folks and groups have this proxy idea. "Judged by the company you keep, show me who you associate with and I will show you who you are". Hate groups are the worst about "if you associate with (whoever) then you must be one."

In bigger cities, the hate groups, "churches", and other group that try to dictate who you are to hang out with, well, they don't make it very far and no one takes them serious anyways.

Here is something to think of - the groups that are opressed are usually the most open to others. Blacks don't normally shun whites. GLBT doesn't shun "straights".

What does suck is that too many folks seem to want to accomidate for some asshole's narrow-mindedness. "Oh don't come around Saturday, Judy is a christian and might not understand". Why should idiots be catered to?

Here is me - You either accept all my friends, family, and ME or we will not associate. I am not here to protect someone's inability to give someone else a chance.

I am willing to bet that no one in that town had any problem with Joanne until she transitioned.