Does it really make you feel feminine?

[Kate Simmons]

Sometimes I see folks post saying that I dressed in this or that and I felt so-o-o feminine. Is that really true? I don't think it was ever really that way for me, it just made me feel freer to express my deep feelings. To be honest, I wouldn't know what it's really like to "feel feminine" if I tripped over it :battingeyelashes: . I just know what it feels like to be me, with all my facets. So, does dressing make you feel feminine and why do you say that?:)

[fallen_rayne]

I think everyone is either feminine or masculine on this site respectively. Dressing as what society deems as the right attire for the said gender, just allows us a catalyst to act out our deeply repressed or worn on the sleeve emotions and identities. Wearing the clothes make me feel more like me, not feminine, just me.

[Kathi Lake]

Since I have never been a female, and never will be one, it is impossible for me to know how "feeling feminine" would feel like. However, I know what feeling masculine feels like (No. Seriously. I do! :)), and when I say I feel feminine, what I mean is that I feel less masculine. So, if femininity is the opposite of masculinity, then things I do that make me feel less masculine must allow me to feel feminine, right?

:)

Kathi

[Jenna Lynne]

I feel I have two rather distinct personalities. Most of the time I'm in boy-mode. That's one personality. But I can switch to my other personality without needing the the props (though it's nicer with the props!).

I don't know whether I feel feminine in the same way that a genetic woman feels feminine, but I don't think that's important. My voice changes, my gestures and walk change ... if this isn't "feeling feminine," it's close enough to make me happy!

*** Jenna ***

(Blogging about gender at jennawillow.wordpress.com)

[clearlakequeen]

I know for me, my entire persona changes when I am dressed as I am right now. It seems every view changes as well. The way I walk, talk, my aggressiveness decreases while my submissive side blooms.
Kisses

[windycissy]

I dunno, when I'm feeling lacy lingerie against my skin and see myself in a cute outfit and dainty little shoes, the scent of my own cologne in the air and the taste of lip gloss on my lips, I sure don't feel macho!

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Denise, an interesting concept but personally I have no idea how feeling feminine feels. I understand how I feel when I wear feminine clothing, but I wouldn't equate that feeling to feeling feminine, feeling good about myself?.... Yes!
But feeling feminine?..... I wouldn't know how the feeling felt, even if I felt it!

[pink femme]

Yes it really does.

I live in a land of pre-defined roles and dress code.

I spent the day as Alice on Monday, around the house and out the back garden. Dressing up, putting makeup on, being a housewife for the day. The feeling was so overwhelming......it was definitaly feminine and so right.

Skirts, dresses, ribbons, alice bands, frilly knicks......I was a girl for the day:daydreaming:

In fact, Alice even looked girlie and as I am now 42, that took some doing :eek:

[kimdl93]

"Feeling" is such a personal thing, no one can define it for you nor can you entirely appreciate a feeling experienced by someone else, but yeah, I think dressing up makes me feel feminine.

[JainaCarpaccio]

Hi Denise, an interesting concept but personally I have no idea how feeling feminine feels. I understand how I feel when I wear feminine clothing, but I wouldn't equate that feeling to feeling feminine, feeling good about myself?.... Yes!
But feeling feminine?..... I wouldn't know how the feeling felt, even if I felt it!

I think that that pretty much sums it up. I know that when I dress, i feel like what i imagine would be effeminate, but as far as whether it is really is or not I can't say as i only have being masculine as a comparison.

[joansnix]

Although my physical body is male, I get a very deep feeling that I am feminine when I'm dressed in bra, panties and stockings, and just wish that I could stay dressed and be accepted as a female by my family and friends.

[Jenny Gurl]

Ask any GG if they feel more feminine going out in jeans and a t shirt or a LBD dressed to the 9's. It is psychological, but it does make most people feel more feminine to look more feminine.

[jemima_bates]

I think it's hard to designate the feeling as "feminine', as Kathi says - having never been a female that's a hard one....

But does my 'construct' of what I think my femininity is feel heightened when dressed - for sure.

Each to their own to some extent - I suppose it depends on our own idea of what we see ourselves as, or term ourselves as whether dressed or not or cd or whatever.

Jemima
x

[msniki48]

OK...I am going to try and weigh in here.

We all know how to feel feminine...because we are all both masculine and feminine...it is a sliding scale...from alpha male to female....i would think we agree that we are somewhere in the middle...so we do have fem feelings all the time. as men we try to supress them...cause we were told to.

for me, seeing the woman in the mirror makes me feel less guilty, for showning and expressing this side of me.... so yes I do feel more feminine when the person in the mirror looks like the person that i feel like.

i hate walking around the house expressing myself in a feminine manner[ which is natural for me]...and all of a sudden i pass a mirror....YIKES:eek:

Total disconnect!!!:eek:

yes i just feel like myself when i feel like i'm in a safe place....when i don't...i put on that masculine persona.

So...Yep i feel more feminine when dressed:battingeyelashes:


:hugs:

[EllieOPKS]

To me it's more of a role plaything. I can pretend, act, and display myself as a girl based on how I have viewed girls in life. When I dress up as a girl I try and roleplay totally as a girl in action and appearance.

I kinda look like it as the same thing as these guys that put on a bandana, a leather vest and chaps and then hop on a Harley. They are pretending to be something they are not, which is again to me role playing.

Just my thoughts.

[Crysten]

AHEM, to quote the famous (infamous?) television commercial we all know, well, "Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I don't".

Here's a point though: how many women do you see (or know) who aren't feminine at all? My guess is lots and lots. Feminity is an expression of your inner self, and I guess women would have as many definitions of it as we do. So - do you feel feminine when you dress? Of course, because that definition is what YOU decide it is.

[mapletree]

This question seems right for me today having just spent the past 10 days or so on a work schedule where i could not dress so now i have an hour or so so i have dressed and i feel great and happy and content so what ever this feeling(s) are they are part of me ... so i wonder if the description has to come from within or is it a label from society

[Lexine]

I've always had a feminine side to me for as long as I can remember. The thing is that it was only until I started CDing that it began manifesting itself bit more. This isn't necessarily a bad thing: I personally believe that a good blend of masculine and feminine traits can be healthy. It's nice to be able to have a visual appearance that can match some of your feelings inside and that's how I've always seen my CDing. I don't see it as a personal fetish or primarily due to non-congruency with my gender (though obviously a part of it is) but rather a means of self-expression. That alone might make me a minority within the transgender community, but something that I welcome with open arms.

[Kara Connor]

Jenna and Kathi pretty much expressed what I feel. This question is a bit like asking "How can I be certain that anyone else is conscious " (answer - you can't). That said, and assumng you aren't all in my imagination :) I think we would all understand at some level what was meant if it was said that a person or thing was very feminine. I feel very feminine when dressed and "being Kara". I am Kara at times, and at other times I am drab me, and I feel different in a way which I would characterize as being more feminine or more masculine.

[sissystephanie]

Since I have never been a female, and never will be one, it is impossible for me to know how "feeling feminine" would feel like. However, I know what feeling masculine feels like (No. Seriously. I do! :)), and when I say I feel feminine, what I mean is that I feel less masculine. So, if femininity is the opposite of masculinity, then things I do that make me feel less masculine must allow me to feel feminine, right?:)
Kathi

I would have to agree with Kathi! I am a man, and will always be one. So I also cannot know how "feeling feminine" would feel like. I dress simply because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothes. So I guess maybe I do feel feminine when I am dressed. Whatever the feeling, I sure do like to dress!

[SuzanneBender]

Denise its an interesting philisophical question.

I guess when I am dressed and wearing a cute outfit or a dress with a nice pair of heels I feel more feminine than if I were wearing a pair of Carhart Coveralls, Hooters shirt, and work boots. At least I know I feel less masculine.

Kathi, as usual is correct. I have never been female ,although I play one regularly, so I have no context to measure my feelings of being pretty and cute against. I guess I just have to rely on the Shania Twain song I feel like a woman to provide me with that context, "short skirts, mens shirts, MAN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN". Opps "MAN I THINK I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN" :heehee:

[danielle.cd]

when i get totaly dressed and made up i feel like a women in every aspect and even though its me its like im a different person all male manorism seem to fly out the window and the female takes over and yes it makes me feel really good, its almost like a light switch for me when i see my self done up it just clicks in

[AKAMichelle]

No way to tell for sure since we are women. How do we truly know what feminine is. We only know what we think it is and how do we know that is right?

[charlie]

I guess Denise, when one of us says we "feel feminine", it is really how we perceive femininity. I feel more the way I look when I dress completely like a woman. I'm trying to be the best woman I can be, so feeling like one means I've done my best.

[suchacutie]

Denise, I would agree that I will never know what it is to "be" or "feel like" a woman. On the other hand, feminine and masculine have functional defininitions, even though they do change over time. After hours and hours of discussion with my wife about gender perspectives, we have put certain actions into the "feminine" column, the most obvious being the outer trappings we place on our bodies and the way those bodies move and act. The walk, the way of sitting, deportment in general! This leads to voice change, and then language use change, and suddenly you record a message on your answering machine and the voice sounds "feminine". Lastly there is a psychology that can be associated with the word "feminine". Heck, Tina still can't giggle like my (very feminine) wife and it drives her crazy (Tina, that is!).

There is no doubt in my mind that as I start with my nails and end with my lip gloss, a tranformation occurs and Tina is born. She is increasingly very feminine, and a bit of a high-maintence girl, to be honest! :)

Tina

[noeleena]

Hi.

feminine.

1, of relating to women or girls

2, characterized by or possessing qualites generally attributed to a woman.

3, Effeminate , womanish

the feminine gender, latin, femininus from femina,woman,
fem'i;nine;ly, fem;i.nine'ness.
or characteristic of woman , & peculiar to women.
I think that should cover this quite well ,

so whos the woman & there is a big difference between men & women,

Im a woman & i dont allways feel feminine yet its a part of us.

...noeleena...

[Kate Simmons]

So, evidently a lot of it is based on affectations and how we utilize the props and equipment.:)

[Rianna Humble]

I'm not too good on philosophical questions, but I'll try to give you my take on what I think the question might be.

Kathi is correct to an extent, that having been raised in my biological gender, I don't know for certain what it would feel like to truly be feminine in all of its aspects.

What I can say with some certainty is that when I am dressed, I feel a freedom and a sense of fulfilment that come from expressing my true gender rather than the physical one.

I sometimes shorten that to "I feel like the woman I have always known myself to be". I certainly hope that makes me feminine, but I know I've never really been masculine.

[joanieb]

Denise, I would have to say, that your comment


it just made me feel freer to express my deep feelings.

That is just it! The feeling of being free and connecting with your deep sense of femininity.

I do know that I feel more real when I'm dressed in my feminine finery, I feel my expressions change, my demeanor changes, my voice and walk even have a natural feminine lilt to them (so I have been told and feel).

One of the first times I really noticed that woman's clothing makes all the difference in the way I felt was at a Dress Party, a woman that sold High End fashion at parties came to the TCNE house when it was in Wayland MA. Her designs were made of finer fabrics and lined. There cuts were tailored and the quality was similar to the Couture you see on runways. When I slipped on the sheath dress a light went on inside and it was so pink and flowery you could never get the same feeling in a brooks bothers suit.

[Sweeterica]

Being a man its impossible to know really what feminine feels like.I know that when i dress i like how i feel and look and can relate that to how women feel,however deep down im still a man.

[erickka]

Since I have never been a female, and never will be one, it is impossible for me to know how "feeling feminine" would feel like. However, I know what feeling masculine feels like (No. Seriously. I do! :)), and when I say I feel feminine, what I mean is that I feel less masculine. So, if femininity is the opposite of masculinity, then things I do that make me feel less masculine must allow me to feel feminine, right?

:)

Kathi

Kinda sums it up for me too! Thanks, Kathi!

[Joanne f]

I already feel feminine but the clothes are used as an enhancer, an extension to my femininity,a joining of two things, you can feel the femininity within yourself just like you feel happiness or pain and when you put something on that extends your feminine feeling you can certainly feel it , just like a feminine GG can feel it, as a masculine male can feel that also .

[victoriamwilliams1]

I have no clue on what the true feminine feeling is! However when I dress I act as if I was born a female. I tend to act just like any other woman which to the publics view is feminine.

Basically I have accepted myself when dressed as a woman as a woman and I never think of myself as a man in drag!!!

[BRANDYJ]

It makes me feel what I think in might feel like to feel feminine. Not being a GG, I can only imagine what a GG feels. It might be the way I feel toward my masculine side when I put on my boots, big buckle, jeans and western hat and strap on my six shooter. Sure, I feel more masculine when wearing the clothes of my western heros.

We all have what we think the perfect image of the feminine is, so when I do dress in woman's clothes, I do feel more feminine. But part of me feels womanly, if not feminine, when dressed in either mode.

[Crysten]

Also, notice that women have a LOT - and I mean TONS - of different "accoutrements" to help them "feel" feminine. Hairdos, makeup, jewelry, skirts, dresses...everything. Feminine/masculine are two reflections on the human condition, therefore, if you are a human, you probably fall somewhere on the spectrum - fem on one end, masc on the other.

It all depends on how we feel, and how we express that feeling. To say "I'm not a woman so I don't know anything about feeling fem" is a falsehood. You may not know what it is to have the physicality of a female body, but that doesn't mean you can't feel feminine. Just my opinion, anyway.

[Jane G]

I have to disagree with the majority on this one.

Feelings though Physical, are very much from the heart & head rather than a given appearance. Therefore I see know reason why our individual feeling of femininity should be any different to those of a gg. There are of course big differences in the way most of us, have been taught to express feelings & emotions, but I believe these are, in the main, a product of nurture not nature. I would certainly say that when dressed, in pretty feminine clothes, that I feel more feminine, than when dressed in dull boring clothes. They don’t necessarily have to be female clothes, just feminine.

[Loni]

not sure what it feels like. i just like it, it makes me feel good and right?? it make me feel like...ME. :D


.

[Rianna Humble]

Basically I have accepted myself when dressed as a woman as a woman and I never think of myself as a man in drag!!!

I agree with this, I too have accepted myself as a woman and never feel like a man even when in drab

[Kate Simmons]

The bottom line is that my higher self is of feminine energy character. What that means is that the perspective is a bit different than masculine energy. Neither of these is related to physical sex although I have taken ownership of my energies and amalgamated them into my overall self, physical basis notwithstanding.:)

[Angiemead12]

Im with you, it just makes me feel normal!

[suchacutie]

Denise, I wouldn't quite say it the way you did, but I strongly agree that the notion of a "feminine self" is much more than the props and equipment. There is a mindset, a philosophy, a way of viewing the world (ok, those were redundant). In our society, at the moment, there are certain outward characteristics that often (not always) go along with the philosophy.

It is true that there have been times when my masculine self, in drab, has been put aside because it was very useful to have Tina's mindset for a few moments. The outward props are not necessary, but they are useful in pulling together the whole geshtalt. Also, the props are useful in presenting a feminine vision to others so that they are not confused by that presentation (similar to using a feminine voice when presenting in drag).

Hmmm, maybe I've gotten a bit too much into this!!! :)

tina

[sterling12]

I have never really asked a Woman, "Hey, what's it feel like, when you feel feminine?" I have no proof, but I doubt she could enunciate an answer that would help me to understand. After all, could you really describe how it feels to score a Hole In One? Or what it really feels like to hit A Walk-Off Home Run? Or to see your Son go off to serve in The Military?

But, I know there are times when I feel so "different" from my Male Self, that all I can do is describe those feelings as "feminine." Sometimes when my body is freshly shaved, and every inch can feel the cool, caressing touch of my clothing. Sometimes when my walk is particularly graceful, and care-free. Sometimes when I notice a Young Mother with her child, I "feel" a particular empathy.

And, I guess it's different for each person....but, I know what it ain't! It's NOT feeling like a Male. So for me, it's a bundle of situations, touches, textures, perceptions, and about a million other things that have Nothing to do with my male feelings. I guess that's what you might call "feeling feminine."

Peace and Love, Joanie

[sometimes_miss]

I just know what it feels like to be me
+1. But what being completely devoid of any male attire does to me is give me the feeling that I'm finally who I'm supposed to be; the rest of the time it feels like I'm wearing a costume (that is, when I'm wearing boy clothes). I don't swish and sway, change my voice to a feminine pattern, or use any feminine mannerisms; I still move very much like a male (because, that's what I am, this body simply doesn't naturally wiggle like a woman's would). But I sorta-kinda feel like I'm female just the same. Developmental conditioning can be a bitch.

[Sarasometimes]

When I right that in a post I mean that I felt feminine. I recently started wearing dresses more often than skirts and slacks and I feel more feminine in them. This is the opposite feeling I get when I do something manly, like fix something mechanical or build a deck. When I am doing those things I would say I felt more masculine than feminine while doing it.
Women feel feminine and masculine as well I would think. For them it isn't as big a deal since society embraces both of those for women. Just because you aren't female doesn't mean you don't know what feminine feelings are for you.
Granted, we don't know how it is to BE a female we just know what our perception of those feeling are. I do agree that along with feeling more feminine at those times, I also feel more at peace when i am able to let Sara have her time.
Great post!!

[ellenwannabe]

I dress in female clothing because I feel feminine - Ellen

[NathalieX66]

Crossdressing cannot possibly be a feminine experience if you find yourself being aroused in a masculine way.

There's a fine-to-thick line, IMO, between what i mentioned, and dressing for personal expression.

When it becomes your personal style,and you feel closely aligned with it, then I think it becomes another story.

[Lorna]

We've been here before! Many of the contributions deal with both the purely physical sensations of wearing women's clothes and the psychological sensations of experiencing the emotions of a woman. For me, it is solely the former: I like to know what it feels like to wear the skirts, dresses, slips, shoes, underwear, etc that women can (but do not always) wear. by and large I can satisfy that desire, limited only by the less than woman-shaped body on which the clothes must be worn!

In my case, I do not have desires to experience femininity in its more abstract guises - and don't believe I could, though others might try to do this and the clothing might help. It's true that sometimes I wish I could experience the physical feel of women's clothes in a more varied environment and in more "normal" every-day situations...but that isn't open to me.

[Tanya C]

Personally, I don't dress to feel feminine, I dress because part of me is indeed feminine. Crossdressing is basically a physical manifestation of my girl side. When I first started dressing when I was eleven years old It wasn't for the purpose of developing a feminine side, but rather as an expression of the femininity that already existed inside me.
It's difficult for people understand the concept of being bigendered mainly because most people identify with being one or the other. But for me being both is natural.

[MrKunk]

I can not speak for others here, but I can say that I feel like I was born male, and
I should have been born a girl. That said, do I feel feminine in girls clothing? Yes
would be the answer.

[linnea]

Your point about being yourself is well taken, but I would add that the feminine feeling that many people describe probably has some validity regardless of whether or not those who express it really know what it means to be feminine.
Consider this: when I played the role of Daddy Warbucks in "Annie," I didn't really know what it would be like to have untold riches and power. However, when I got into those Warbucks costumes (created in the imagination of our costume designers), I had a different feeling. I assumed a role and that role was enhanced by the trappings (an elaborate stage mansion, the streets of NYC, and the props and furniture). The enhanced quality that feeds our minds and sensitivities is what I take many to mean when they write about feeling "s-o-o-o" feminine in this or that outfit.
My therapist and I have often talked about the fact that being female is more than breasts and hormones. Yet those qualities associated with female secondary characteristics certainly enhance many CDs' experience and the satisfactions that come from it. Even many GGs aspire to emphasize those characteristics, so it seems natural--at least not surprising--that CD/TGs might mirror similar thoughts and behavior--and effusions about feeling s-o-o-o feminine.

[docrobbysherry]

And, I WAS one completely, until I began dressing at age 55!:eek:

I didn't feel masculine when I finished in the top 3 in my company in our army PT test! Or, when I beat a guy in arm wrestling! Or, tackling a guy for no gain in a football game!

If I've no idea what "feeling masculine" is like, how could I possibly know what "feeling feminine" is like?:brolleyes:

My "feeling" experience is SADLY limited to knowing what BEING ME feels like!:straightface: