Sort of got outed.

[Deelite]

Ok i will explain,

I was at a local town late night shopping the other week looking for makeup, i go there because its the only place thats open in the evenings, hence its quieter and less stressful.

So there i was in the makeup aisle on my own (yes i was in boy mode) just minding my own business choosing a foundation, when out of the corner of my eye i saw some young girls and their parents head my way. Oh great just what i need teenage girls!! i just ignore them hoping they will go away and carry on browsing, when i hear 'Hi!!!' i look round, its my manager from work with his family!!! O.M.G.!!!! i could of died!!!

I had in my hand an eyeliner and lipstick and quickly hid them from view as i politely chatted to my boss. Although it seemed awkward, we chatted and i didnt want to seem to anxious to go as it would of seemed all the more obvious what i was doing.

After the chat, i just carried on browsing before moving onto the next aisle hoping he thought i was generally browsing for something.

Even if he did have an idea what i was doing, things are as they were at work and he's said nothing, so hopefully i got away with it.

Its one of those things that ive put in the back of my head that might happen one day, and it did!

Thats enough excitement for me to last a lifetime.

Oh, i still got my makeup by the way! Yay! so it wasnt a complete disaster!

Dee.

[matrioshka]

Dee,

That was a close call. Are you in a line of work where it would cause problems?

Kat

[Deelite]

Hi, yeah it would cause a few problems, i work in a place with about 150 hetero anti everything males! If they found out i was a cd, i would ultimately have to leave, as i would imagine it to be that bad.
We have a gay guy working here and he gets a lot of hassle.
Hopefully i wont get outed, so if i am careful it wont happen.

[Loni]

i would not say you "were outed" just bumped into your manager at the store...and why was he in "that" isle?? :doh:

you were just getting something for your girl..no lie.


.

[Sammy777]

Don't worry yourself to much about it.

There have been plenty of times I have gone shopping for varied "woman's items" and ended up seeing someone I know. Funny thing being a lot of them actually were NOT for me, lol.

Every so-called "normal guy" will find himself in an isle or having to buy some "womanly" item[s] at one point or another in their life.

I think most guys just ignore it, never happen, and think to themselves, poor guy, I can't stand when I get stuck doing that crap, lol, and move on. :heehee:

[Deelite]

Yeah you are right, he probably thinks i am buying for someone else. I did have an alibi if he asked the following week, i was going to say i was looking for fake tan! Lol!
He was there with his wife and kids, his wife was after some mascara.

[Freddy12]

I think you're not outed at all. I have been asked to pick up cosmetics for my daughter (who was unable to shop at the time). I was uncomfortable at the time, but there was no problem.

The family probly did not even give it a thought.

[pernille d]

unfortunate timeing ,
i think it depends a lot on who, what and where we are when confronted with such a problem . i, we think the worst and we instantly think the other person has worked it out , but 9x out of 10 they do not have all the peices of the puzzle so simply do not see the whole picture .and i bet he was a typical husband fed up following his wife and kids around while they shopped so i bet he was glad to see you to chat with , so it probably did not even cross his mind what you where doing there." you will never know uness you ask him and lets face it you cant do that"

so i would guess not outed or if we are all wrong and he does surspect smething he is a proffesional enough boss to keep private and work related things seperate from each other .

just dont loose any sleep over it :)

[joanieb]

A lady never needs to explain what she is doing or a reason to excuse herself. ~ I read this in a turn of the century womanly manners book.

Wouldn't it been wonderful if people would respect others privacy more, though it does appear that you boss has.

[AlexisWest]

When I first started shopping for makeup while in drab, I always had a 'list' with me that had a couple of makeup items on it noting the manufacture and product. This provided me with an alibi so to speak, 'My wife sent me here for this'. It works well when buying pantyhose too.

I no longer need my list, as I shop mostly en femme. But is sure helped when I first started.

[Starling]

Nobody cares. We obsess on this stuff, but civilians don't even notice. They've got problems of their own.

:) Lallie

[Dee2U]

When I look at your picture Dee, your whole minor panic attack makes perfect sense. No, its not that you are cute as a bug en femme; its that you are young! Men who do not CD (and there are quite a few out there) end up buying items that are intended for women. After a few times you just relax.....(another)Dee

[KateSpade83]

That's scary, Deelite... Usually when a company finds out I crossdress they think I'm gay and then I don't last long there.

[BobbiU]

I think we tend to put more into it, then what is really there. I think it's just us being aware, and assuming others are asking themselves when we're in that isle.

I think alot of it is a mindset, and you just need to go there, being prepared, and expect to meet someone, and have a stock response ready.

My wife would go out and and if I need deoderant, razors, additional male underware, t-shirts, etc, and she never thinks twice. I've seen men in the checkout out line with womens items for that time of the month, and didn't think twice about it.

If its an issue if someon you know sees you, just be like a boy scout, "Be Prepared", and all should be ok. Even be proactive, and have a comment like "Can you believe, my wife has me picking up make-up for her, like, how am I supposed to know what one to get, I'll probably purchase the wrong one, and be in the dog house :)

Just a thought.

[AKAMichelle]

You didn't get away with anything. He just didn't care what makeup you bought. Many times we think people are going to say something when they just don't care.

[Deelite]

You know what the answer is?! Go shopping enfemme!!!!!

He would of not recognised me in a million years if i was dressed up, just got to take that first step.......

Thanks girls, for your comments, its nice to have some support.

Hugs to you all, Dee.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Dee,

If you were caught trying out the eye liner to see how it looks on you then maybe you could have been outed :doh:


You know what the answer is?! Go shopping enfemme!!!!!


That's the ticket :daydreaming:

Tash

[Starling]

...Even be proactive, and have a comment like "Can you believe, my wife has me picking up make-up for her, like, how am I supposed to know what one to get, I'll probably purchase the wrong one, and be in the dog house :)

And if that rather tortured tale doesn't work, try dancing through the aisles and singing "I (Don't) Feel Pretty."

:heehee: Lallie

[CatAttack]

I don't think he outed you, especially if he was making conversation with you for a while rather than like an awkward look. That's like one of my biggest fears though, running into someone I know while shopping.

[Karinsamatha]

Hi, yeah it would cause a few problems, i work in a place with about 150 hetero anti everything males! If they found out i was a cd, i would ultimately have to leave, as i would imagine it to be that bad.
We have a gay guy working here and he gets a lot of hassle.
Hopefully i wont get outed, so if i am careful it wont happen.

I do understand how it feels to be surrounded by massive amounts of testosterone. :sad: That is something that is preventing me from going to work en fem. though I would be much happier, and less stressed.
I feel for you. :hugs:

[Deidra Cowen]

You know what the answer is?! Go shopping enfemme!!!!!

He would of not recognised me in a million years if i was dressed up, just got to take that first step.......

Thanks girls, for your comments, its nice to have some support.

Hugs to you all, Dee.

Thats why I always am enfemme when shopping...no one would reconize me.

[erika130]

You know what the answer is?! Go shopping enfemme!!!!!

He would of not recognised me in a million years if i was dressed up, just got to take that first step.......


Exactly ! Your story is one of the reasons I haven't gone out around here to shop or even enfemme. Although I doubt I'll be recognized when dressed, there's still a chance.

Those type of situations are always in the back of your mind, & although they are unlikely to happen, they might as it did for you lol... It doesn't mean I won't go out, luckily for me, the big nyc is just an hour away :D

[Cassandra Lynn]

On the issue of being outed and the workplace, i would have been more stressed if it had been a fellow worker of equal status. Like you say the treatment from co-workers could have been too much to deal with. But a manager has more at stake in starting the rumor mill whirling, could be construed as a form of harassment.
And since he was so kind and friendly he must obviously like you as an employee.
But as noted, he must not have viewed your being in that aisle as anything other than normal. mj (Cassie)