The Elusive "Feminine Side"

[linnea]

Every now and then, a post inquiring about the expression of one's feminine side will appear here. The responses vary greatly, but often there are several that suggest that a "feminine side" is elusive, doesn't exist, can't be known by males (especially CD males), and similar responses.
I don't really have any problem with that. As a matter of fact, I think that most of what we call a feminine side, or a masculine side for that matter, are socially constructed qualities manifest in various behaviors, modes of expressions, ways of dressing, etc. Of course, there is also the complaint that when it comes to feminine/masculine fashion indicators, women seem to be able to move across the fem/masc lines with impunity, but men have to face chastisement, mockery, physical abuse, and the like.
Recently, in another post, I commented that the feminine side is a legitimate and various set of clothes, manners and mannerisms, and accoutrements that put their users (whether men or women) into a frame of mind that enhances other more intrinsic and perhaps genetically predisposing qualities. I used a theatrical analogy wherein one's characterization in a role is enhanced by the costume, set, props, furniture, and the like.
Tonight, while I was on-line shopping, I found an ad that made me think of this again. The ad appeared in a feature of RealSimple, called "Cute Summer Dresses for under $100." Though I don't have $100 to spend on a dress right now, I went there to satisfy my curiosity. The first dress in the group had what I thought was an interesting description. Here it is:
"Play up your feminine side with a floral cotton sheath. The strategically placed pleats and a ribbon tie help give straight figures a shapelier look." This, of course, does not prove that a "feminine side" exists, but I think that it is worth noting that members of this forum are not the only ones who use the phrase in serious ways.
It was fun to see the dresses (one of which was only $20), and as much fun to see the reference to the "feminine side."

[Kathi Lake]

Not necessarily.

By saying "your" feminine side, they didn't mean your feminine side, but the feminine side of those who they market the clothes to - women - who indeed have a feminine side.

Simple, eh?

:)

Kathi

[joyce483]

Thanks - Hon, I never would have figured that out!!

[linnea]

Of course, Kathi, for the most part they are marketing to women, but "your" is not inherently gender-specific. To refer to a person's "feminine side" implies that there may be at least one other side (there could, of course, be multiple sides). And to say of women that a particular article of clothing would appeal to their feminine side suggests that there may be clothing that appeal to other sides of women's being. What would those be? Well, perhaps their not-feminine sides, whatever those may be.
I posted it mostly for the fun of it, but if taken seriously, I don't think that it's quite so simple.

[Sarah Doepner]

I wonder if the marketers are thinking the "non" feminine side of women is represented by something more functional, like a business outfit or pants rather than appealing to the woman's "masculine" side.

[Phyliss]

I suppose if they had some nice flats, good looking pants and a cute blouse, they could have said something like "Play up your grocery getting MOM side " or words to that effect. We're all diamonds with many different facets, or 'sides" be it masculine or feminine or bricklayer or nurse, or ....

Remember the tag line, "The softer side of Sears"

[Joanne f]

The clothes do not make you feminine or masculin they just extend or enhance what is already there , some can get this though what they feel when wearing something that they feel brings out the feminine within there minds and some can get this by using it as and extension to how their body moves and flows , a joining of two things that flow naturally together and if you are lucky enough to do all, mind body and spirit then you are truly feminine and you will know it and feel it .
Designers know how a female body flows so if a dress is designed to flow with it then it will bring out the feminine side more (an extension of the movements that are already there)

[alice clair]

Be careful what you say around Kathi !!! It could be dangerous

[carrie-ann]

So many things play into both genders. They are so different. I'll or we as TG/CD will never completely understand the other. I'm much happier with Carrie-Ann than the male side. So iive my life full time ss Carrie-Ann now. I just completed my first year as full time 95% has been great. This has been a goal since I was a teenager. I wasted a lot of years, but all i can do is look to the future.

[eluuzion]

“Play up your feminine side with a floral cotton sheath." “The strategically placed pleats and a ribbon tie help give straight figures a shapelier look."

Another option for consideration here is advertising marketing psychology. Advertisement of any kind is a costly business expense and one that is not taken lightly. Every line and image contained in an advertisement is strategically crafted to produce the desired goal…draw your attention and motivate you to purchase the product or service.

“Play up your feminine side with a floral cotton sheath."
(you do want to be “feminine” don’t you? You don’t want to burn that image of you in your dumpy lounging outfit, that you tend to wear everyday around the house into people’s minds, now do you? Doesn’t that “floral cotton sheath” sound so dainty, fragrant and soothing to imagine? Now that is what would showcase the “real” you, the desirable woman that you really are. Compare that feeling with how you would describe that outfit you have on right now while reading this…ugh…maybe you are slipping a bit…?

" The strategically placed pleats and a ribbon tie help give straight figures a shapelier look." In other words, we have exactly what you need to change that drab body into an appearance that you have done something different recently, to achieve that “fresh” new look. Gee, you will look like you worked out! “Strategically”….wow, that sounds like they really discovered something special…
”exactly”…”what I need”. It sounds like exactly what I am looking for…

Gee, what a coincidence…:battingeyelashes:

It is called persuasion, subliminal perception, social engineering, imprinting, manipulation, creating motivation, appeal, reverse psychology, creative marketing, etc. etc… The world of advertising is the business of creating, stimulating desire and motivating consumers to purchase your product.

I interpret it as a bit of "subliminal reverse-psychology" with women being the target.

Just a thought…
:love:

[RozalynLove]

I think the problem some people have in comprehending the existence of a masculine and feminine side is that they think if they were to exist, there would be a strict set of attributes that when displayed would mean a person was definitely exploring one particular side of themselves, and since they personally do not feel anymore masculine or feminine when participating in activities which are generally considered to be one or the other, assume they simply do not exist anywhere. However, there are people who feel more masculine when they do certain things, and there are people who are made feel more feminine by certain things, and so even if it is a socially constructed, technically wrong way to view themselves, the psychological process that associates these activities and behaviors with a particular gender shows that there is at least a masculine and feminine side within them.

[MrKunk]

I believe that most of us when we say our femme side or feminine side are
talking about the fact that we have always felt girly and feel like girl trapped
in a mans body. I know I have always felt like a girl/woman in a mans body
since my teen years. Does this mean I don't have a masculine side as well?
No, I most certainly do and I am attracted to women. I acknowlege both
sides of myself and it makes for a much fuller life.

[kellycan27]

Instead of debating what the definition of femininity why not just go on the premise of how the individual defines it? That way the OP can be answered in the spirit in which it was asked. :strugglin

Just a thought

Kel

[Kathi Lake]

Be careful what you say around Kathi !!! It could be dangerousYes, because of my sweeeet ninja skills!

:)

Kathi

[docrobbysherry]

They mean; "Look pretty! Look cute! Look sexy! Look HOT!":D

Now, THAT kind of "feeling fem" I CAN understand! Because it refers to how a girl LOOKS!:daydreaming:

And, EVERYONE knows when a girl LOOKS FEM, she FEELS more FEM, rite!?:heehee:

[Joanne f]

They mean; "Look pretty! Look cute! Look sexy! Look HOT!":D

Now, THAT kind of "feeling fem" I CAN understand! Because it refers to how a girl LOOKS!:daydreaming:

And, EVERYONE knows when a girl LOOKS FEM, she FEELS more FEM, rite!?:heehee:

I can well understand where you are coming form on that but (always that but) i am not sure that looks has a lot do do with feeling fem , i do not look fem at all but i feel it so much and i can use the things i wear to extend that feeling , lets say that every one has an Ora around them you just use that item of clothing to extend or enhance that Ora and you become one , ok i hate analogies they get me into trouble ( brings back stamp collecting and CDing one`s):D but it is something like this , a good racing car driver gets into a car and they become one , he feels everything that car does he is connected and they work as one and it is the same with clothing you connect , ok maybe it is just me and i am a bit mad or a gift to connect which may also be madness but i enjoy it .:devil::)

[Cassandra Lynn]

A much more interesting topic than labels, and coming out, getting outed, etc.
But i agree with Kelly, let's try to stay focused on what Linnea is describing, let's not define femininity and marketing into 50 different POVs.
My particular interest in this topic is the whole nature vs nurture debate, or how much does the outer/visual persona influence the inner/spiritual one. Where do the two meet? How much of the femme me was always there, but needed the more visceral image and physical feeling to bring it out.
mj (Cassie)

[Cassandra Lynn]

Why do i get stuck on the nature or nurture issue? Because in the interest of not exposing myself around the men i work with, and my brothers and father i've developed an automatic femme flow valve. My defense mechanism.
I try to channel Cassie and my femme personality only when i really am ready for it, so that part of me stays under wraps alot of the time.
Time will come eventually, when i get back on my feet and get my own place. I can be her/me on a much more permanent basis, and let it all just flow.

Not saying i don't have feminine attributes and emotions that i carry along daily, i just try not to let it be seen, and those of you who feel you are a product of nature only or mostly:
How was it as a youngster? Any siblings notice this about you?
Did you feel and think in a girlish manner without outside influence? no forces other than nature that shaped your femme self?
These are all questions that make me think.
I have a GG friend going with a MtF TG person and her thought is that her SO was always the way she is. Not saying it's not possible at all, just struggle with the idea. Genetic women have developed their feminine personas over the years "naturally". With all the guilt, shame and fighting this thing WE have done, and all the purge cycles, how could we one day reach a period of complete acceptance and say "i'm the way i am because of nature?"

Sorry if this all seems useless babbling to anyone, thought this thread would get more responses.
mj (Cassie)