first time

[newby]

i just told my wife that im a cd and she says she's ok with it but i get the feeling she is not . i have been doing this for many years but this the first time i've told anyone about what i do behind close doors. i would like some help understanding what she's going through and why i have this want to dress in womens clothes.

[AllieSF]

Welcome to the forum and congratulations for taking one if the hardest steps a TG can take in telling their SO. There are so many old threads here dealing with that same topic. Their is even a sticky thread in how to tell your SO about this side of our lives. There is also a special part of this forum for GG's (genetic girls, Fabs = Females at birth) that you may want to suggest that your wife join to be able to chat with other GG's who are in the same boat as your wife. I would recommend that you first get an idea how this site works, types of threads and posts made by the very varied spectrum of TG's and others who are on this site. After you get 10 posts you will be able to private message (PM) other members. Good luck and enjoy your stay, read, digest and ask whatever other questions you have.

[newby]

thank you so much for your reply

[tammygirl79]

Welcome to the forum and congratulations for taking one if the hardest steps a TG can take in telling their SO. There are so many old threads here dealing with that same topic. Their is even a sticky thread in how to tell your SO about this side of our lives. There is also a special part of this forum for GG's (genetic girls, Fabs = Females at birth) that you may want to suggest that your wife join to be able to chat with other GG's who are in the same boat as your wife. I would recommend that you first get an idea how this site works, types of threads and posts made by the very varied spectrum of TG's and others who are on this site. After you get 10 posts you will be able to private message (PM) other members. Good luck and enjoy your stay, read, digest and ask whatever other questions you have.
Allie pretty much said it all. As far as why you have a want to dress in womens cloths....sweetie, only you can answer that question. And once you are fully comfortable and accepting of the fact that you have a want for it...the answer will come to you. There are many girls here, with many different reasons why they dress in womens cloths....some of us do it because it's an escape from our normal robotic routines in life, some of us do it as a stress reliever, some of us do it for sexual gratification, some of us do it because we like the larger variety of womens clothing as aposed to the drab wardrobe selection of male clothing, some of us do it because we feel we are women trapped in male bodies...etc. In time you will figure out why you like to do it. I bet subconciously, you already know....you just need to searce way down inside for the answer, accept it, be comfortable with it, be proud of it, and most of all sweetie, do not be ashamed of it because there is nothing bad or wrong about it!

Good for you for sharing it with your SO, I wish the two of you the best of luck! :)

[carrie-ann]

Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to your SO if no one else. She will be as confused as you so have patience and under standing hon.

[giuseppina]

Hello Newby

Now that you've taken the first step (a big and difficult one, BTW), you have to answer all your wife's questions honestly and openly. She will, eventually, find out if you're anything but.

She may be feeling you've committed a lie of omission in not sharing this with her before now, feeling like you don't trust her with big secrets like this. If you've dressed in her clothes rather than your own, that has ramifications by itself (doing so is not a good idea). There are threads about these topics in the Loved Ones section and elsewhere.

From what you've said, it is *** NOT *** a good idea to dress in front of her for the time being, or be caught in ladies clothes, makeup, jewelery, etc. She is quite likely in shock right now. Let her set the pace.

If she's willing, there is a section of the forum reserved for our wives with no access for us. She will require her own username, password, and at least 10 posts to her credit for access. Other requirements are listed in the related FAQ.

The only thing I would consider doing right now is warning her about the adult content that appears when searching the Internet for information. I think most of us agree that we aren't all about sex.

Good luck. :hugs:

[Marcia Blue]

Newby, The only other 2 pieces of advice, that I did not see mentioned, that I will offer are:
1. Keep the communication open, be prepared for questions.
2. Do not make CDing the only topic.
The best of luck to you,

[sissystephanie]

Newby, yoiu have already been given a lot of very important information. What Tammygirl told you about your desire to wear feminine clothes is very straightforward. I dress simply because I like the feel, fit, and look of feminine clothes. I have been doing it for over 60 years and that idea has not changed. I have no desire to be a woman. Since my dear wife, who fully supported me and did my makeup and fixed my wig has passed away, I now go out dressed but looking like the man that I am! BTW, I told my late wife I was a CD before we married!

Acceptance of who you are, as a crossdresser, is very important to both you and your wife. If you do desire to become a woman, that will have a very big impact on her! On the other hand, if you dress as I did and do, literally for fun, the impact to her is not anywhere near as bad. My wife and I even went out in public as two girls. We both enjoyed it and so can you.

The other thig that is extremely important is complete honesty about your activites as a CD. If you lie about them, she will catch you at some time. Communicate with her as much as possible, about everything. And the other main thing is, DON'T PUSH HER TO LET YOU DO CD THINGS!! If you truly love her, let her set the pace! I had my loving wife for almost 50 years and it worked for me!

[Abbey Lane]

Took a lot of guts to do what you did. I hope she understands and you work through it. I like most are still in the closet and we just divulge our secret. It's just the way it has to be for what ever reasons. But congrats and hope things work out.

[Angie G]

In order too understand her thoughts you must talk to her hun. As for why you like to dress is still a mystery to most of us girl.:hugs:
Angie

[newby]

:)i would like to thank you all for your help and advice it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. im also glad to know that i have other ppl to talk to because i've felt very alone. i've also thought there was something wrong with me.

[VanessaVW]

:)i would like to thank you all for your help and advice it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. im also glad to know that i have other ppl to talk to because i've felt very alone. i've also thought there was something wrong with me.

There's nothing wrong with you! I thought the same thing about me for many years until I saw some news-special on NBC about ten years ago. Then I saw this site and have read many great things on here. Believe me, you are not alone and your ok!

Vanessa

[kimdl93]

I am glad your wife has been supportive of your revelation. You may be right that she still has some apprehensions, so I'd recommend going to the follwoing discussion for some tips on what she may be thinking and the kinds of questions she may need to ask:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13841questions she might like

[boardpuppy]

Hi Newby,
I can't think of anything else that needs to be added, the girls have given you lots of info to read and idjest. We have all been where you are know and other stages of understanding along this road to whatever. I to what to welcome you to the site and keep asking and reading. I know/understand a lot but am nowhere near completely understanding myself.

Hugs,
Alcce

[anonymousinmaryland]

I believe Tammygirl79 said it all!

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Newbie.

Great advice has already been given in spades, so all I really want to say is good on for finding the courage to tell your wife. Late is better than never - it took me 10 years to tell my wife.

Take it slowly, and have fun.

Tash :)