Thinking about joining Tri-ess

[Sharon michelle]

Hi all,
I haven't posted in awhile but I have kept up by reading your stories. Lately I have been feeling like I need some friends that are like me, and can share some goodtimes. There is a Tri-ess chapter about 2 hours from here and I'm thinking about joining. Are any of you members? I like the idea that they encourage spouses to join, If she's up to it. I won't do it if my wife is not comfortable.

Is there anything to worry about? Are they accepting or will they judge me because I don't have much outside experience? It would be awful if I don't feel like I belong.

Shari

[Terri Andrews]

I joined tri-Ess about 11 years ago and still belong the National but not a local chapter .
It is a good ,safe place to meet others in your area .
Like any organization ,it is not perfect ,but it was a plus in my life when I first started to leave the closet .

[StaceyJane]

Tri-Ess really helped me when I first started to go out. My first shopping trip to Dress Barn was with Tri-Ess.

[PretzelGirl]

I have been going to Tri-Ess meetings for about 6 months. I find them enjoyable as I am able to spend time with others with a like interest. Some of the socializing is about what we do and some is about life in general
We are all over the map on experience. Each chapter is different on what they do, so your experience may vary. The best thing to do is just try it out. You can dress or not. You can bring your wife with you or not. Some provide changing rooms at the meeting location if needed. I encourage you to give it a whirl.

[AKAMichelle]

I joined Tri-Ess 2 years ago and many of those friendships I still have. I would highly recommend joining as it will be a good first step for you.

[Nicole Erin]

There are good and bad chapters of tri-ess.
There are good and bad TG groups.
If you have a bad experience with your local tri-ess, maybe check out other local groups.

Keep in mind that tri-ess is geared more to CD's than TS, so plan accordingly.

[BobbiU]

I was looking at that also, and just received some info this week. From the post here, it seems like it more of an in-person meeting group for support, rather then an on-line resource? Thanks for any additional info.

[StaceyJane]

Bobbie, If you can tell us what part of Texas you live in someone from the local group might be able to help you.

[Nicole Erin]

I was looking at that also, and just received some info this week. From the post here, it seems like it more of an in-person meeting group for support, rather then an on-line resource? Thanks for any additional info.

Most are in person.
Some have strict boring agendas, some are mostly "get together and chill, chat, have a bite to eat" like the group I sometimes attend here in Indy.

A local group would have the best resources in your own town for TG folks.
Good as the web is, it is still not a replacement for hearing real life feedback on things.

[NathalieX66]

Tri-Ess is exactly what their mission statement says on their website. Like many of the posters mentioned, they are good start in getting you go the direction you want to go. Without them, I would never had the nerve to go out in public, that being nightclubs & restaurants, or shopping.

The chapter I joined about a half a year ago, many members, including myself, have joined other TG groups outside of Tri-Ess. My chapter is also connected with an "all-inclusive" group, and sometimes like meeting the same family in two different places.

Some may argue that the idea of Tri-Ess not being as open to some people is a bad thing, but I wish to counter that argument that for many that are married, and committed to their families, and coming out late in life, this is a huge, and perhaps terrifying step. I see Tri-Ess as a baby step, and you can take it as far or as little as you wish. IMO, such things can only strenghten and and enhance the acceptance of transgenderism (in all it's forms) instead of putting up walls or labels.
Hope this helps.

[NathalieX66]

Most are in person.
Some have strict boring agendas, some are mostly "get together and chill, chat, have a bite to eat" like the group I sometimes attend here in Indy.
.

Nicole, if anything, your Tri-Ess chapter should be encouraging people to out the door of their meeting places, and going to places & doing activities, istead of just staying in and eating pizza or whatever. Going out in public in numbers is more fun than going out alone. The diner near us treats my group like celebrities.

[sterling12]

Since I have been A President/Secretary/Treasurer/Board Member of a Local Chapter, I reckon I can speak about my local chapter and some others.

We have TransFolk of all descriptions, styles, and experience. The Local Chapters have "widened their net," over the last eight or ten years and they tend to be much more accepting. There are a few Chapters that seem to strictly stick to "The Old Order," but they are becoming rare. The Focus is mainly Social, and there is support for wives, and newbies, but generally it's about having a good time, letting The LGBT and Straight Communities know we exist, and learning to accept our special Gift. My Group interfaces a lot with just about everybody in The LGBT Community. Just got word that our local Pride Event has become so popular, (One of The Biggest in The USA) that there will now be monthly events for ALL Members of The Community. We look forward to being participating members.

Depending on your own feelings, and the pertinence of your Chapter it can be a very special experience! With most Chapters you will "blossom," and certainly become a more complete person. I would recommend you join A Local, then you can go from there. Nothing beats a Face to Face with others....it's what you want to do!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Sharon michelle]

Thanks to all for your replies. You've helped, and now the next step (baby step?) is up to me. I suppose that like all things, I will get out as much as I put into it. I can't wait!
Thanks again.
Shari

[BobbiU]

StacyJane:
Thanks for the info. I received an email from the local chapter this week, Just not sure if it's what I'm looking for, Thats why this was such a great post. I'm looking for sites like this, on-line and informative, not meetings. So, this was a great thread.

THANKS

[Marcia Blue]

Sharon,
I have been a member of the national group for about 9 months. I have never made it to a chapter meeting yet. I have found a group of mostly Tri-Ess sisters who meet a little less than once a month at a CDs home in Des Moines. Wifes are welcome and do attend. We usually start around 5PM have a nice meal and chat for as long as we feel. Most of the time we go out to a local TG friendly bar and meet more sisters. Some evenings we venture out after closing to IHOP or Perkins for an early breakfast.

The chapter in full operation in my state is 4 hours away. I have meet some of the members in Des Moines. They are all really nice. Your mileage my very, but Tri-Ess really has opened doors for me. I say go for it, the small investment, my pay off big.

[Sharon michelle]

Thanks Marcia.

[jenifer m.]

i joined about four months ago.i love meeting new girls,and hangin with them.its a great moral booster too.

[Jonianne]

My SO and I joined 10 years ago before we were married. Even though we only went for about 6 months, it turned out to be the best thing in her learning about cd'ing. She was so afraid of what it could be, untill after the first meeting where she saw how conservative it really was and called it the "b" word (boring - but not in a bad way - she, having lived in SF, didn't know if we would be swinging from the chandilears!).

I'm glad we went for the short time we were involved.

[Jenna Lynne]

There seem to be no chapters whatever in Northern California, nor anywhere else in the Northwest (assuming we're Northwest ... I don't think we're Southwest, although L.A. is, and there's a chapter there).

Considering how gender-friendly the Bay Area is, this is a little weird.

*** Jenna ***

[Jonianne]

I understand there are other groups nearby, ask Rachel Morley:
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?u=8016

[sometimes_miss]

Some people like it, some don't. When I tried it, there was a very strong push for me to go out dressed as a female, use female pronouns, use a female name, and embrace all the little female mannerisms and speech changes. None of which I wanted to do, so I declined to continue my membership.

[Phoebe Reece]

Sharon,

There is a lot of variety to what to expect in local Tri-Ess chapters. Some chapters meet for only a few hours monthly, while others have an entire weekend of activities. The best way to know what the chapter near you has to offer is to visit them sometime and see for yourself.

In Atlanta, our Tri-Ess chapter (which I am president of) is very much "out there" with a full slate of things to do on a Friday evening and all day on Saturday for our monthly meeting weekends. We go to local restaurants, go shopping, go to movies, go to museums, we attend festivals and parades, and have our own private parties and dances. We provide a place for our members to change at (in case they can't dress at home) and provide help in working out family issues. We try to accomodate crossdressers who are both closeted and those who are comfortable going out in public on a regular basis. Our chapter is also very much involved in educating the public through our outreach programs.

If you are anyone else would like some more detailed info about Tri-Ess, just send me a PM or e-mail. I'll be happy to share what I know.

[lavistaa62]

Anyone gone to the one in Waltham? I'd like to go but am afraid it would turn out like my aborted visit to Club 313- just too uncomfortable and shy to go in (and sort of freaked out by what, from the outside, appeared to be the atmosphere).

Would like a place that's low key and chill.