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Caitlyn
08-24-2005, 03:37 PM
Hi people. I am pleased that some of you really appreciate my other threads and posts. I even got a rating for one (THANKYOU TO THAT PERSON).
I believe myself to be a TS. Ive known something was different since I was 5 or 6. For a long while (into teenage years), I believed I was a TV (please no television jokes), and I lived my life in shame, feeling dirty and wrong and with the knowledge that I was the only person in the world like this (stop me if you have heard this). Maybe I am just looking for 'my next fix', to take things further.....I look at myself in the mirror and its all wrong. Is that because I am TS and need to see a female looking back at me, or because I like to look at beautiful things? Maybe I love women TOO much.
I am not stupid. I know how to 'pass' any tests set me. I know I need to answer questions as truthfully as possible, and I know the consequences of telling porkies....I want this to happen..need this to happen so much, but is this just my belief...or is it a fact? if I get this wrong, its going to be much worse for me than it is now. I guess this is just a ramble and shouldn't be posted here...if so....bite me

Rachel_740
08-24-2005, 04:11 PM
Caitlyn,

You would appear to be asking should you think about SRS. There is just one person in the world who can answer that one, and that is you!

To give you a few things to think about though before you take the plunge.

Are you prepared to loose:

1. All your family
2. All your friends
3. Your job
4. Your car
5. Your home

If you are not ready to loose all these things then you are not ready to take the plunge. On the brighter side, I am not saying you will loose them - I'm just doing for you what people did for me and preparing you that you could loose any or all of them. I have been very lucky and not lost any of them - even my parents who are in their 70's and 80's. There are still people at work to laugh at me behind my back, but in over 7 months that I have been living en-femme these people have been to cowardly to laugh or say anything to my face, so while they don't let me know their laughing at me I can just ignore it because as far as they know I don't know they're laughing at me - does that make sense?

Anyway, back to you. If you feel that you are TS AND you want to do something about it, think good and long about what you have to loose, speak to other TS girls if you can, certainly get yourself a gender therapist and take things from there.

There is quite a bit posted on this forum now so you should be able to pick up some hints and tips, get advice and so on.

If you want you can PM me.

Anne

Tristen Cox
08-24-2005, 04:21 PM
Bite you aye? :D Looks like you found your emotions.;) Mainly being TS means you really do not feel right in your male body. It causes confusion and even arger or depression at times. It's a bit more than wanting to be a woman. Honestly only you know what you feel inside. Best to take as much time as needed to gain insight into yourself.

Know thy self


I know I know, stfu Tristen :D

kazeparker
08-24-2005, 04:40 PM
I agree with tristen. It's more than wanting to be a woman--it's also not wanting to be a man. So whenever you question yourself to determine what's right, ask yourself two different ways, like in this example:

"When I look in the mirror, do I want to see a woman's face staring back at me?"
"When I look in the mirror, do I never want to see a man's face staring back at me again?"

That'll help give at least some minor insight to how you feel, and then you can decide what you are from there. You might find that you hate being male and want to be a woman so much that you'd transition (which would be TS), you might find that you are comfortable being male but would like to see a feminine face in the mirror every so often, where you don't want to transition but you can still help yourself by molding a temporary feminine face with the resources of the CD forum.

emmicd
08-25-2005, 10:11 PM
Caitlin,

You certainly are doing some soul searching and seem to be transgendered.

You should really read what Anne has so eloquently said as she speaks from her own personal experiences.

She shares great insight and you certainly can benefit from her experiences as she is transitioning fully. She is right in asking you about whether you are willing to lose everything in the process.

You also should seek counseling with a gender therapist and discuss how you feel. You must certainly be honest with yourself and you must be honest with the medical professionals as well.

I certainly wish you all the best and hope you find happiness in you life whatever you choose.

Emmi

norbie
08-26-2005, 04:17 AM
Hallo my Dear,
I would like to join Dear Anne in her respond. Think it thausend time over, you can loose everything what's dear and what you love. I know even post op. who look good and so on - but very lonely and unhappy. They can't have Babies, they won't hear the lovely noyse from Children and a happy Family Life.
Emmi's idea about talking with a Gender Therapist is very good, I think.
I pray that you will make the right decision - but take your time, please don't rush into anything,
Love and big Hugs from Norbie

Caitlyn
08-28-2005, 08:31 AM
Thankyou to all the girls who responded to this, and also to those that read it. Just to try and clarify a few points, being 'male' has become harder and harder to deal with over the years, resulting in bouts of depression that have become more extreme (you know what im talking about if youre like me). My fiancee of many years and I both understand and are accepting of our situation. At the initial consultation with my Dr last novemeber we decided to try for a child (to add to the chaos lol), and the results of our getting jiggy will be with us in Nov. I am prepared to lose most things in my life because of this, but the fear of losing my life if I do nothing is the main reason that I have sought medical intervention......I hope that story of the ugly duckling comes true.

Katie Ashe
09-19-2005, 11:19 AM
Are you prepared to loose:

1. All your family
2. All your friends
3. Your job
4. Your car
5. Your homeI have to disagree with this small statement. Only you can decide what is best for you, so a SRS search on the enternet, there is more info than you swallow. As far as loosing above, that's BS. If it makes you feel whole and better about yourself, and you are willing to live with the results now matter how good or bad... than you'ld be a better person for it. SRS isn't like a new hair dew... friends and job may be the biggest risk, but you'll know who your real friends are then... Please think about it, if you decide SRS is best, we'll be here for you.

Natasha Anne
09-20-2005, 05:19 PM
I think being prepared to lose everything is a great benchmark of how you feel. In my personal experience, when I got to the point I wanted to transition finally I could understand that the need to transition outweighed anything in my life.

It's a tool to use, it's not to say you will lose everything. It does help you determine how strongly you feel about it.

I'd say if you couldn't be prepared to lose everything then your drive to transition is the same as some of us here, but it might be more than enough for you and others.

The best piece of advice anyone can give you, as Katie infers, is do what is right for you and do it properly. So if you need to proceed, see a professional who has worked with gender issues before, listen and answer them and yourself honestly and the truth will just pop out. Don't try convince yourself you are something you are not, just listen to yourself carefully and you body, mind and soul will tell you everything you need to know. Your truth is your truth, and your experiences can only be your own. We're here to support you regardless of your choices.



I have to disagree with this small statement. Only you can decide what is best for you, so a SRS search on the enternet, there is more info than you swallow. As far as loosing above, that's BS. If it makes you feel whole and better about yourself, and you are willing to live with the results now matter how good or bad... than you'ld be a better person for it. SRS isn't like a new hair dew... friends and job may be the biggest risk, but you'll know who your real friends are then... Please think about it, if you decide SRS is best, we'll be here for you.