Possible Outing!!!

[t-girlxsophie]

Well it has finally happened always at the back of my mind I new It would at some time.There has been a negative event regarding my Crossdressing.
Yesterday was a message on my wife's Face book page from her ex-husband,it read "I hear you married a CD guy" now we are not worried about him a he Is a real low life,He abused my Wife during their marriage,and recently somehow he found our address and fraudulently claimed Social Security benefit,until we found out and reported him to the authorities

No the thing worrying me is who told him either of these 2 facts,Only my Wife's Sister and Sis in law know about Sophie,never mind get our address,And i know they would tell this guy nothing considering his treatment of my wife and her Children in the past

My Wife has always told me that nothing would change the way she feels about me,even If her whole family was to find out our Secret. Her support has been Incredible But I would hate anything or anyone to hurt her I want to protect her from this I Am the one worrying about this.Am sorry this is a bit of a ramble,trying to find the right words.

So Finally my point is Do you think I should Just trust that everything will be ok,and This guy Just got lucky,or am I right to be worried for my Wife and how It will affect her relationship with her family if he truth gets out.Thank You

:hugs:Sophie xx

[AKAMichelle]

I would be worried a little that he may try to cause trouble. I don't think the Ex will succeed at what he is trying.

[AllieSF]

It sounds like a "tell the wife what happened" and then "wait and see" scenario. If your wife does not know, she should. Other than worrying, what else can you do? Maybe later you can chase down the leak in the communication system. However, sharing secrets has a way of "de-secretizing the original secret!". That is why secrets should only be shared when you are ready for others to find out too. Good luck.

[Rachel Morley]

IMHO the guy is just "stirring it" ... I wouldn't worry about it, it's just a bit of scaremongering and "sour grapes" on his part.

[azncd]

I'll agree with what everyone else said here. This guy seems like bad news, but at the same time, the secret just feels bigger (to all of us still closeted/semi-closeted) than it actually is.

There's 2 sides to the coin too. #1, some people just won't really care, or even if they do, will forget about it the next time a juicy tidbit comes along. or #2, they'll consider the source of the information, and either dismiss it, or even take your side on the matter because it will become obvious what he's trying to do.

If anything, I'd be more worried about what this guy might do in terms of try to get near me and my family, and I'd be more prepared for that than anything his mouth might say.

[fallen_rayne]

I think you definitely need to be careful with this. I don't think that your going to have to completely and totally change your lifestyle now. As for the address, public records or a simple whitepages.com look-up would be good until he found the right one. As for how he knew about your secret, there are only three people that know apparently. I don't wanna be a downer, but maybe one of them slipped and then the person they told slip and etc etc. I don't know what happened, I'm just throwing out suggestions. I would play it safe for a few weeks though definitely.

Let us know where you are so he can have his ass handed to him by a bunch of women. :heehee::D:devil:

[Patricia Johnson]

The level of power/influence that he has will be determined by the level of your reaction. If you react aggressively he will know he has something on you. No reaction gives him no power. Ignore the incident and keep on moving.

[SherriePall]

He may know nothing! It could just be that he chose CDing as the worst he could say about you! Just a little name calling. Unfortunately, it is something you do and now I will echo Patricia's advice: don't give any inkling that he struck a nerve. Keep calm and cool.

[Barbara_MacKenzie]

Sophie,
If neither you or your wife react to this what's he going to do? If he tries to stir up trouble , who is going to believe him? If hisstanding with your family is as poor as you say it is then I doubt that anyone will give hime any credibility. Its easy for me to say but hold your nerve, I think you'll be OK.

[bianca66]

He's just stirring the pot and using your paranoia.

If anyone that you didn't want to know asks just tell them he found an old Halloween picture and is showing it around blah, blah, blah...

Probably most people in the exrelationship wont be on his side anymore anyways so I doubt they will really listen to anything he has to say.

Support from your wife is the most important thing, let it ride and just roll with it.

[DonnaT]

I wouldn't worry.

I would, however, make sure your wife's facebook settings allow postings only from friends and block the Ex.

[t-girlxsophie]

Thank you Ladies for all your help.I have to say that it's in my wifes family that three ppl know of Sophie and are great about it.I also have had time to reflect on recent events,This guy is a coward who could only abuse women and deserves nothing but scorn,The fact my wife and I are 100% strong together is all we need to get through any pitiful attempt by him to hurt our family

Today my sis in law was on the phone,and her reaction to all this was less than complimentary about the guy,also she knows I will never do anything to hurt her sister and that will never change whether I wear a skirt or don't,therefore I am confident that any Info he recieved did not come from any of the these three ppl.

Your right that any Reaction to this by us would be seen by him that he was getting to us,The only thing for us to do would just get on with our happy life together,that would be the best way to deal with the Creep.

Thank you all for your invaluable help and advice,it is much appreciated by both my wife and I

:hugs:Sophie xxx

[t-girlxsophie]

Well after a week or so of silence,my Wife received another message from her Ex,amazingly though he didn't mention anything more about my dressing,but said hope she would be happy,and the past is in the past,well thats easy for him to say,he wasn't the one beaten black and blue,But needless to say He has been blocked from sending any more messages,so wont be hearing any more from him,In the end up the advice to not rise to him or go on the defensive was the right way to go,thanks to those who replied to my original post:love:

:hugs:Sophie xx