I kinda want to stop

[Nicole Thomas]

I am a private male to female crossdresser, but I want to stop because I have lived as a guy my whole life, enjoy many aspects of being a guy, play baseball, have a muscular body, and love going out to the clubs with my masculine body to meet girls. I dont want to end up looking feminine and losing all of that, it's way too risky and I am very unsure if I would enjoy being a woman in real life because I'm tall and look very male-like when I crossdress.

Is there any hypnosis that can be done, or therapy that can break my crossdressing ways, and make me completely male? I feel like I'm living as both sexes right now, but am favoring being a male.

[JulieC]

Short answer; no. To my knowledge, nobody has ever been 'cured' of the desire to crossdress. If there were a cure, it would be public knowledge on this forum, and nobody has ever reported such knowledge. It doesn't exist. You are who you are. Hypnosis can't force you to do something that goes against your grain. It can't make you stop crossdressing.

Your best path, in my non-professional opinion, is to learn self acceptance.

You don't have to be all-guy or all-girl. You don't have to modify your body to be more feminine and achieve a sense of balance.

Most people assume that humans are either male or female in their gender identity. This is sometimes called the "two box system". Reality is otherwise. While most people would self identify as being "male" or "female", the reality is that very few people are absolutely on either end of the spectrum.

You are what you are. Like the vast majority of people, you are somewhere inbetween the absolute extremes. You are closer to the middle than the vast majority of people, which makes you feel 'different', but you're not. You're just as human as the rest of us.

You are evaluating your self identity against society's expectations of you. You can see it in your post. You're trying to justify yourself as being a guy, talking about sports, your muscular build, liking to attract women, etc. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone but yourself. Figuring out what you are is one of the hardest things a person can do in their lives. You happen to be closer to the female and of the spectrum than most guys. That doesn't make you wrong.

It also doesn't make you a person that has to look and act like a woman in order to feel whole. If wearing a dress, or pantyhose, or heels, or whatever makes you happy then do it. You don't have to explain it to anyone but yourself. If you're worried about ramifications with certain people, then don't crossdress in front of them until you're not worried anymore (if that ever happens). And don't think you're never going to be able to tell any woman you fall in love with. That's bunk. I married a very intelligent, very cultured, very beautiful woman who knows all about my crossdressing, and loves me all the more for it.

[Tomara]

Hi Cyankee
I don't know of anyone who has been cured of cross-dressing but I'm not saying it isn't possible.
You could try therapy to help you understand why you feel the way you do. Gender therapist are very helpful but not magicians
Why not just enjoy both your masculine and feminine sides and all that each has to offer.
Tomara

[AlisonRenee]

I agree with the counseling suggestions. Talk it out, get some objective perspective from the counselor, and you may resolve the issue for yourself - and understand what makes this part of you tick and why it is, or isn't important to you.

[suchacutie]

I only found my feminine side 5 years ago, at age 55. I've found that Tina is clearly an important part of who I am, but in no sense do I want to lose my male side.

As far as I know, my male self has not been diminished in the slightest because of Tina (my wife confirms this, from her perspective). In fact, I am very sure that my male self is far better off because of the fact that I've acknowledged and supported Tina. I've lost weight and I take much better care of my body. Just the daily regimen of moisturizing and other skin care has improved my appearance significantly. The idea of feminine posture has made me aware of just how many of my male friends/colleagues are half bent over when they walk!

So, lose Tina? Not a chance. Has she helped my male self? Tremendously.

Oh, and let's not forget that we now know that walking in heels (4in or greater) is theraputic to my back problems. Quite literally I've had a back "incident" every 3 years since college (incident=I can't even move for an hour and can't walk for 2 days). Since Tina and buying a pair of 4.5 inch mules to wear every morning for a few minutes, I've not had even a slight back tremor, and when I feel my back weakening I just slip into the heels for a few minutes.

Again...lose Tina...nope. My guess is that you, too, can find life wonderful in both genders :)

Tina!

[Kaz]

The basis of counselling is to enable you to resolve your own problems... they may (or may not) have deep knowledge oh this. Our received wisdom on this forum is that it is there and won't go away. What a lot of us have done is successfully bury it while we raise families, live full marriages, etc... then it pops up in middle age. Quite often it manifests it in the meantime as an occasional need to wear something or just buy something, but it is somewhat controllable (well it was for me).

But then it kicks in as the "I should have done this years ago".. issue which you will see on this forum.

We all need to carve our path... if you feel you need to go with the male full-on thing, good luck... I managed it for a lot of years (with a few digressions)... but by 50 it hit back with a vengeance.

The counselling will all be about positive reinforcement... it may work...

Kaz xx

[Pink Person]

Some people are cisgender. Some people are transgender. There is no cure for either condition.

If you are transgender and want to be happy then you will have to find ways to accept your transgender identity and express it.

If you are transgender and want to have good relationships with other people then you will have to be friendly and associate with people who respect gender diversity.

Good luck. There's nothing wrong with you and there are people who will respect you for being your true self.

[Shananigans]

I would just say about the counseling recommendation...make sure it is someone with experience on the issue at hand. It might just be my area, but no one advertises that they are a "gender therapist." You have to do a little digging. But, it's essential the therapist is experienced in this particular area.

I sincerely don't think you could be "cured", so to speak...however, I still think therapists are great just to get the issue at hand on the table and figure out what exactly is going on. Why do you feel compelled to crossdress? What started this? What triggers it? Etc.

I've been to therapists for different reasons, and though it's a lot of time and money...it's 110% worth it.

Little fact: Transsexuals and crossdressers used to be considered insane (long time ago). Gender dysphoria was considered and illness. In order to cure individuals, psychiatrists performed electroshock therapy and often committed them to insane asylums. Luckily we are more intelligent today. I think that's why there is a shift from "finding a cure" to learning to accept this aspect of your personality.

[DonnaT]

I am a private male to female crossdresser, but I want to stop because I have lived as a guy my whole life, enjoy many aspects of being a guy, play baseball, have a muscular body, and love going out to the clubs with my masculine body to meet girls. I dont want to end up looking feminine and losing all of that,
Just because you crossdress it does not mean you will lose any of your masculine desires or appearance.

I've been dressing since the age of 10. Still play sports (when the old bones let me) etc.

One reason I can ensure my wife I won't transition is because I enjoy being a guy, and am glad I have the strength to do many of the things I did 35 yrs ago.

OK, so I shave my legs. Big deal. No one has noticed or said anything, and the muscle definition is even more defined. Lots of body builders shave. Heck, one of my close CD friends was an avid weight lifter until she retired last year, and held many state, country and world records in her age group.

You could try counseling and hypnosis, or you could just relax and enjoy more than just the guy aspects of your life.

[Joanne f]

I would not advise anyone to mess about with hypnosis, and as far as i know you do not automatically turn into a female if you like to cross dress, there are many all male CDs who just enjoy the clothes and really do not want anything to do with the female/feminine side of it so that is an option you may wish to consider as you will still keep your all male side but can still enjoy the clothes.

[Petra.Briar]

I can only speak from my experiences, when I have wanted to "stop" and tried to, I figued out later it was because of my guilt or trying to be "normal". You need to figure this out on your own but I would suggest, like others, don't predetermine the outcome, you will be more satisfied if you find out who you are.

PS While you go through this phase do not throw away all of the fem belongings you have (aka purge them)....it is very expensive to rebuild the wardrobe, and that I speak from exprience ;(

[Jonianne]

.....Is there any hypnosis that can be done, or therapy that can break my crossdressing ways, and make me completely male?.......

You CAN stop actively crossdressing, but it's not likely the desire will ever go away. If you choose to stop cd'ing, you will most likely have to live the rest of your life fighting the desire. I've found it much better to accept the fact that I am a cd'er and live within boundries and groundrules with the important relationships I have.

Trying to keep a balance, for me, is vastly easier than trying to fight to entirely eliminate something that is an intragal part of who I am.

Some religious priests are sucessful in having celibacy and living without the emotional intimacy of a life partner, but it takes a lot of inner strength to stay away from something that is perfectly normal.

The second part of your question is NO. Nothing will ever make you completly male. There will always be female aspects to all of us. It is not a black and white issue. Your body makes male and female hormones, which is normal. You will always be part female (half of your DNA comes from your mother). If you accept that part of your physical body is female, why not just accept that part of your emotional and mental being is female as well?

I suppose that if your cd'ing is just a fetish, then with self-disicipline and will power, you could probably stop. And I would guess most who do, probably end up never visiting the forum again.

If there is any emotional self-identity involved to any degree, then you most likely will not stop.

[Proteus]

I'm a private male to female myself, and whether I crossdress or not, I'm still the same person. Not two different people where one personality can somehow be eliminated with therapy. I think even trying would be very destructive.

Kinsey made a scale of homo- and heterosexuality. The same applies to trans- and cisgender. I am, and I assume you are, near the cis end of the scale. I prefer to do most things in life with a male expression, which inevitably means I haven't got to know my female expression as well. Getting to know yourself is a process that takes a lifetime, and while therapy can be a valuable aid, the process itself should never be tampered with. Any kind of conflict within yourself is the very last thing you want.

[PetiteDuality]

Let me tell you that I haven't crossdress for a while. I wouldn't say I'm totally cured (I come to this site quite often), but I don't get the urges anymore.

The only couple of times I've crossdressed in the last 6 months have not been because of the urge, but just because I was bored. And I didn't enjoy it.

What made me change after so many years of very strong crossdressing urges?

Many things. I became more muscular and fit, and more happy with my male appearance.

I'm getting older, so I really don't see too much of a woman in the mirror. When I was much younger it was easier to see more feminine traits.

I shaved my legs after desiring pretty bad to do it for several years, just to discover that my legs, which I imagined would look totally feminine after I shaved them, actually looked too toned and muscular to look really feminine. Specially in heels :o

I made a lot of efforts to pass. Bought the right clothes to minimize my shoulders and arms. I went to a transformation service, and I felt really uncomfortable being seen dressed by others. And I didn't look that good even after a professional transformation.

The opinion matrix here is that you can't quit, that there is no point in trying, etc.

I just say: if you want to stop, try to get deceived from what you see when you crossdress. It worked for me. The mirror was my best friend in order to quit.

Or so I say. I can't guarantee that the urge will never come back. But I think it's gone for some while.

And by the way, I believe in hypnosis. I quit smoking with it.

[sissystephanie]

If YOU really want to stop crossdressing, YOU can! All it takes is the idea solidly in your head that you will not put on any clothing that is feminine at any time. Get that idea in yoiur head and learn to live with it! Some years ago I stopped completely because of family reasons. 5 years later my wife(now deceased) begged me to start dressing again. She told me that she really missed Stephanie in our life and wanted her back. I agreed, and still dress. I do it now to keep me reminded of my very dear and supportive wife, whom I had known for over 60 years before she passed away. If someone I love asks me to stop now, I will!! In a heartbeat!! It just takes willpower!!

So the answer is that you can stop, IF YOU REALLY WANT TO!! You don't need hypnosis to do it! You just need your own willpower!! Go for it, and good luck!!

[carrie-ann]

Good luck you will fight this your whole life. There is no magic cure. Just your own decision.

[NicoleScott]

Many of us enjoy being a man and all that it is to be one. Many of us just like to occasionally dress up because of some compelling inner desire to do so, stay inside and never venture out, never want to be a woman, and have masculine features that will never allow for passing. But we can be a man and still have this part-time harmless dressup fun.
As for kicking the habit, I don't know. You could stop dressing through will power, but I doubt that you can be rid of the desire.
In my own experience, I had recurring episodes of guilt, shame, purges, doubt, confusion, etc. until I accepted and embraced my crossdressing. Now it's really fun.

[Kate Simmons]

It's really all about feelings. The only way to truly "beat it" is to make it a choice rather that having it be a compulsion.:)

[BobbiU]

Many of us males enjoy cross dressing, and have no intention of becoming more female looking. I for one, lead a 100% traditional male life for everyone except for my wife. No one else has any inclination that I love to cross dress, and have been wearing pantyhose and panties since my late teens. I'm now 50. This is between my wife and I, and I plan to keep it that way. Have I gone outside with female undergarments on and a bra and forms, yes. Do I do it to look try to pass as a female? No. I do it because I want more of the feeling of female clothes, and the joy I get when I wear them.

I'm certainly no expert, but i think it is safe to say that one can truely live the life of a male, meet females, workout, and look like a male while wearing a bathing suit, without any fear of becoming female. That is a choice people make to change their body, and does not come about simply by wearing clothes.

As many others above have written, and is so often advised for many issues, talking to someone certainly might help, and then you can decide if you need to forget about this lifestyle, or manage both aspects, your public male life, and your private enjoyment of dressing in female clothes.

Just my :2c:worth.
Good luck.

[Nicole Thomas]

thanks guys, that helps alot. I just went out today and bought a good looking top, skirt, and shorts today. They look sexy. But of course, I won't expose myself in public with this.

I will see how this goes for now and if things evolve, ill let it happen naturally rather than fighting it.

[mklinden2010]

C,

New clothes?

Good for you... Live your life.

You can, you know, talk a bit more about what you think of some things and how you feel about others.

Be more out about yourself and you'll feel less pressure to "fake it" while going about your life. Just be your - entire - self more and more often and you'll worry less what goes on in your head that people don't know about. They'll know all they want to know and life will go on...

Oh, I've had a number of happy SOs tell me their surprisingly simple bottom line:

"Hey, as long as I'm getting something out of this, I'm a happy camper!"

That's really the key to living happy - just remember that you want things AND so do other people.

Give a little to get a lot and you'll always be fine.

[DonniDarkness]

Sounds great keep us posted! Remember what you do in privacy is yours alone....dont let it effect your daily life and relationships and you will be much more accepting of yourself.

[mklinden2010]

Aw, Miss D...

Doooo let it affect his daily life and relationships to make at least "a little" room for his fairly unique interests and viewpoints.

It's called, "Being who you are and making room for yourself in this big ol' world" - to take a breath every now and then.

Everybody is entitled to a kink, a point of view, AND a little personal space...

But, they ain't givin' that stuff away everywhere...

So, you sometimes gotta take what cha need...

[CherryZips]

Is it fair to say some people do stop?

But we have no idea why. And the people who do stop won't be here. But do they still have the desire? I would suspect they still have the desire given the right circumstances. But then circumstances imply control over it. But circumstances are only controlling the expression not the desire.

I'm always curious about those who discover late they have this aspect of themselves. For me it has always been there whether I am active or not.

[PretzelGirl]

Is it fair to say some people do stop?

But we have no idea why. And the people who do stop won't be here. But do they still have the desire? I would suspect they still have the desire given the right circumstances. But then circumstances imply control over it. But circumstances are only controlling the expression not the desire.

I sometimes feel I am alone in this opinion, but I really do feel that there are people that can stop what we do and just walk away. When you are around this board or others like it long enough, you see that we are all different and there are quite a lot of variances in what we do and how we think. So why is it so hard to believe that someone can quit? It is just another end to all of the spectrums we occupy.

I think the biggest thing is that people in general tend to project what they feel on other people. It is common in all aspects of life. What is interesting is one of the things we fight and/or put up with is people projecting their thought that what we do is wrong. Yet the minute someone says they feel they can quit, a lot of people are quick to tell them they can't. Are we not listening to ourselves?

Now I will agree that the preponderance of opinions here are that you can't quit, so the majority probably can't. But do we take that majority and turn it on others to tell them they can't either? It all comes down to drivers for why that person dresses. If it isn't about an internal gender conflict, then it opens the door to many possibilities.

The OP doesn't really provide enough information for us to comment on the reasons she dresses. She could in fact have an internal gender conflict (and odds usually lean that way). But a broad brush can be a dangerous thing.

[Megan70]

Sue, you present a well fonded extremely intelligent post that looks at the other " possible" side of the coin that many of us ' career' CD's could never agree with you on. When I first read the heading on the post I was one who was going to jump in on you and say " good luck sister , it ain't gonna happen'. But as you say , I'm speaking from my vantage point and that of the majority and not really considering how YOU feel and how you can handle wants and needs in life. They may be all far different than us. I'm glad my college education of eons ago taught me to look at peoples opinions and thought with an open mind especially in your case when you can back it up with great thinking and writing. Kudos to you Sue...
But respectivefully disagree.
A liberal thinker and proud of it...
Megan

[CDKaitlynn]

Although I agree there is no "cure." It is like anything else you have personally discovered or enjoy. You can certainly stop. But in the absence of good luck and consistent relationships (called downtime, we all have it sometimes), you will start again. If you are at home with free time and no one to call the thought WILL come to you, and most likely you WILL dress. The best thing to do is to accept it and maintain a community like the caring gurls here, and even if you are away for a while and come back, these gurls will welcome you back.

HOWEVER, and based on current social status quo many of you will not like this, but i believe it is the most successful alternative and is actually a real "cure." I like to help...
omg, im soo going to be alienated for this.

A reasonable cure is a personal pursuit of faith, and finding help in (your) God to help you meet your personal goals. (if this is to work you have to believe and be genuinely dedicated to your personal goals). For those of you without a religious background, this in no way infers that crossdressing is a sin, is rejected by God, or is in any way "bad" or something that God does not want you to do. Asking God's help while feeling guilty but still genuinely interested in something can actually have a back-firing effect in the future...

In other words, dont ask for help due to personal guilt, but if you feel you can have a better life without it, because your situation is contradictory to crossdressing and what you want to stop dressing for is to help enable a life that you think could be compromised by your dressing, (through no fault of your own), then there is a possibility that this can be a "cure."

This is a life long pursuit and if done for the right reasons then the success that you experience in this matter can be cumulative and re-assuring. When your talks with God and the help you ask for leads you to meet your goals and curb your unwanted desires it can give you confidence, feelings of success and self-assurance, while you are grateful for your past experiences in the matter and see the healthy side of it, you have made a decision for yourself to stop because you think it will be healthier FOR YOU.

Just totally ignore this is it doesnt make sence right away.

Kaity

[sherib]

I wish there was a cure, if there was I would have stop when I was younger. But it seem that no matter how many times I've tried, it always returns and being dressed digs deeper into me that before. I think we've all gone through the "not wanting to wear womens clothes" to throwing them or puging as its called. Then after the purge, it may not be wright away, but the feeling will hit you again and its hits you deeper than it did before. Every time you purge, the feeling is deeper the next time you you "HAVE too get dressed". Good luck on whatever you decide.

[CamilleLeon]

If you enjoy it, why would you want to stop? Dressing in women's clothes does nothing to change the male side of you. Wearing a skirt won't make you femme, you have to do that yourself. If being a guy most of the time brings you happiness, then good. You should do that. But if you feel the desire to dress up, don't repress it because you're afraid that will make you less of a man.

[Beth-Lock]

I am not sure about the statement, "Wearing a skirt won't make you femme." In one sense of the meaning of 'being femme,' it may lead to a progression at the end of which you may want to dress full time and acquire as many as possible of the other features of being of the other gender. This is not yet accepted by the professionals, but it seems to be a belief current among many in the TG community.
Does anybody else have a comment on this?

[CamilleLeon]

While an interesting theory, I think one has more control of his or her life than that. Wearing a skirt may lead you to dress more fully because you realize it's something you enjoy, but I believe it would never be out of your hands. If dressing fully is something you want to do, wearing a skirt may help you realize that. If it is not something you want to do, then dressing occasionally won't push you any deeper than you want to go.

[NicoleScott]

Kaitlynn, brave of you to post your comments, but I don't think you'll be alienated. I mostly agree with what you say. Mostly. Where I disagree with you is where you said you set your goals and ask for God's help in reachiing them.
There's an old saying, and it has even landed in a song or two: if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.
Maybe God's plan for this person is not to "cure" crossdressing, but to rely on Him to get through the challenges associated with crossdressing (and all of life's other challenges). When you submit to God's will, you do so without preconditions.

[DonnaT]

I am not sure about the statement, "Wearing a skirt won't make you femme." In one sense of the meaning of 'being femme,' it may lead to a progression at the end of which you may want to dress full time and acquire as many as possible of the other features of being of the other gender. This is not yet accepted by the professionals, but it seems to be a belief current among many in the TG community.
Does anybody else have a comment on this?

I've worn skirts for 45 years, and they haven't made me femme.

Yes, some do move further along the gender continuum with their dressing, but they usually get to a certain point and stay there. Others continue to make changes.

we are all different, and not everyone is predisposed to be more femme just because they cross dress.

[Carly D.]

I understand all you have said about wanting to stop cross dressing.. Go a head and stop.. If you think you can.. I've stopped with the exact same reasons you have given to quit as well, and it came back.. It happens, and try as you might to give it up, if you really like any aspect of it then you will return eventually.. They aren't lying on this site when they say that fact.. I have stopped so many times, so many excuses to stop.. So many times I felt like I will NEVER do that again and it just.. happens.. So figure out a way to live with it.. Curb it all you want.. But know that something will lure you back.. Either a certain smell, the sight of a woman wearing something you think you could wear.. something.. it happens..

[Lynn Marie]

Yes, by all means you can stop. Just like people who quit smoking, you can quit dressing. It's just a mind set, you decide and you never go back. It's pretty much the same as quitting a drug addiction or alcohol. You stop and you never start again. You end it.

Just keep in mind that when you can't have something, it becomes an almost irresistible force in your life, and it can last for years. You don't just resist it, you must shut it down completely with never a thought of starting again.

Just today, after 12 years, I caught myself thinking how good a cigarette would taste and feel. I had smoked for 40 years. You just shut it down and bring back to mind all the reasons why you no longer wish to follow that path. That's how it's done in a nutshell. I'm sure there are folks here who have quit strong addictions who know better than I. I'm just trying to prepare you for what it is going to take, and trust me, it's not all that hard, just takes a real commitment.

The key to my quitting smoking after my heart attack, was that I convinced myself that if I continued smoking I would die and not get to see my daughter grow up. My quitting smoking also cost me a miserable marriage and just over half of my net worth. That's another story. Suffice it to say I'm a very happy girl these days.

[NathalieX66]

I am a private male to female crossdresser, but I want to stop because I have lived as a guy my whole life, enjoy many aspects of being a guy, play baseball, have a muscular body, and love going out to the clubs with my masculine body to meet girls. I dont want to end up looking feminine and losing all of that, it's way too risky and I am very unsure if I would enjoy being a woman in real life because I'm tall and look very male-like when I crossdress.

Is there any hypnosis that can be done, or therapy that can break my crossdressing ways, and make me completely male? I feel like I'm living as both sexes right now, but am favoring being a male.

This is gonna get me booted off the forum, or even deleted for saying this, buth there are groups like NARTH & Dr. Nicolosi that claim that they can rehabilitate those with crossdressing & transgender inclinations.

Personally, I think it's bunk, and I say that with pride. The human imagination is what it is. That is a fact that can never be denied. My advice is just find yourself and figure out who you really are and make that that big glass of lemonade with the lemons you have. You don't have to be a transsexual, or a full-timer, just find that balance on your spectrum of who you are, and where your center is. Everyone is different.

[Chickhe]

What worked for me... I confronted what was scaring me in my life and I learned to accept CDing. I think CDing was a way for me to escape the world in times of stress. I still feel feminine some days, but I don't feel I have to dress. It seems the compulsion is stronger the more you deny it. If you incorporate it somehow, then there is no need to get rid of it because it is just part of who you are. I do dress up sometimes for fun, but I feel I can stop for extended periods, maybe forever, but there is nothing wrong with doing it so, why stop? Some things you can do... subtle personal grooming (reduce body hair, trim brows, practice femine voice, take up female hobbie, reading CD stories) these things might let you feel femine without needing to dress... and no one can read your mind. Good luck!

[k lynn]

I am muscular myself and enjoy weightlifting fishing riding mymotorcyle andhave no desire to become a woman but I do wear panties and a bra everyday along with female jeans just hate male clothes plus I have female traits and they show daily in my acts.have been to coulening and after much soul searching this is me wish you the best of luck

[eluuzion]

Well, "I Dream of Jeanie" went off the air years ago.

The only people with "half a chance" at running away from "themselves" are schizophrenics. Since you do not even refer to yourself in the third person yet, the prospects of that are not too bright either...:battingeyelashes:

Hey, there is no rule in the CD manual that says you can't arm wrestle on the week-ends, lol. There is also no rule requiring you to choose A or B. You can take em' both. Just put them both in your toy box and only play with one at a time. I thought about tossing out my carry-on luggage when I quit traveling and got married.

As it turned out, I actually ended up using it again afterall. Some things are worth keeping for a back-up instead of just tossing them out. I do not crave things that I just "put away" for "awhile" nearly as much as those items I "threw away"...

just a thought...

[Sweeterica]

I dont know if others agree with me but why are you worried about going feminine,its only dressing,i myself like many here are very happy being full blown males,CDing is our little bit of escape it doesnt mean we have to loose our male interests,now if you feel someway unsure about your gender thats a different thing,just keep doing what you are and enjoy it works for me.

[victoriamwilliams1]

The answer is no! and if it was a way and I know I have tried to stop myself and if there was a way to stop I know some would take it and some would not even think about it.

I know some stop with out going back and I know that even myself I have slowed down due to working.

[AKAMichelle]

None that I have ever found. You will find ebbs and flows to cd'ing though. The thing you need to deal with is accepting both sides so they won't be so hard on you. You can still be a cd'er and spend most of your time as a male and be very happy.

[JulieC]

Just like people who quit smoking, you can quit dressing. ... drug addiction or alcohol. ...

I've seen crossdressing equated to an addiction before. The problem is, there's no medical evidence to conclude that crossdressing is an addiction, and therefore can be 'treated' using addiction therapy methods.

You are of course welcome to your beliefs. I have mine as well.

Science has shown that the brains of at least some MtF transsexuals have a similar physical construct to GGs. Does that make their desire to dress in female attire an addiction?

I don't consider myself an MtF transsexual. I consider myself bigendered. There is precious little research into this area of humanity. I believe that crossdressers (not femme impersonators, or people crossdressing for a lark, but the kind of people you find here on this forum) are born with crossdressing as part of who they are.

This forum is filled with the stories of crossdressers who started crossdressing at a very early age. It seems apparent to me that it isn't something being picked up as an addiction.

There are a number of people here on this forum who have attempted to repress crossdressing, and ended up with rather severe psychological problems as a result.

If it were possible to permanently quit crossdressing, the people on this forum would know about it. Many of us wouldn't try, but many of us would. If there was a successful means of doing so, it would be out there and known to this community. There would be support groups for post-dressing crossdressers. By the most conservative estimates, there are more than a million crossdressers in the U.S. alone. If even 1% had managed to cure themselves through whatever means, that'd be 10,000 post-dressing crossdressers. There'd be meetings, forums, therapy groups, etc. But none of those things exists. None.

Meanwhile, there's support groups for alcoholics, drug addicts, porn addicts, and all sorts of addictions.

It's not scientific, but the presence of all those addiction support groups and the lack of any such groups for crossdressers speaks volumes.

You could just as well say homosexuality is an addiction that anyone can get over if they just try hard enough.

[Lynn Marie]

Maybe a little correction is called for here. I never said that crossdressing is an addiction. I said that about quitting dressing, "it is pretty much the same as quitting a drug addiction or alcohol". There's a vast difference there. Quote me accurately, or don't quote me at all.

I've never thought of CDing as an addiction. That's dumb. I have no idea what it is, but I do feel strongly that you can stop it, or suppress it, or anything else you want to call it because I firmly believe that we humans have control over our own destinies. That is a fundamental concept of the human experience. We can change any way we wish. It's simply a matter of doing so and sticking with it, just like "quitting a drug addiction or alcohol".

To say that you cannot change something about yourself is to admit that you are a victim of your own impulses, etc. Even so called "dumb" animals can do better that. Sorry, but I chose to not be a victim and to run my life as I wish. I'm in charge here, thanks!

And another thought on assumptions on this forum that people who quit crossdressing will happily report in here that they've quit. If you think that that is going to happen, then take a look at all the people who no longer post on this forum. I guess then that we can also assume that they have quit CDing. Why on earth would anyone who has quit want to come back here and tell us? Coming back here would be like an ex-alcoholic hanging out in a bar! Personally I'd run the other direction.

[JulieC]

Maybe a little correction is called for here. I never said that crossdressing is an addiction. I said that about quitting dressing, "it is pretty much the same as quitting a drug addiction or alcohol". There's a vast difference there. Quote me accurately, or don't quote me at all.

I've never thought of CDing as an addiction. That's dumb. I have no idea what it is, but I do feel strongly that you can stop it, or suppress it, or anything else you want to call it because I firmly believe that we humans have control over our own destinies. That is a fundamental concept of the human experience. We can change any way we wish. It's simply a matter of doing so and sticking with it, just like "quitting a drug addiction or alcohol".

To say that you cannot change something about yourself is to admit that you are a victim of your own impulses, etc. Even so called "dumb" animals can do better that. Sorry, but I chose to not be a victim and to run my life as I wish. I'm in charge here, thanks!

This presumes that something can be changed. No matter how hard to try, no matter how many hours, days, years you put into it, you are not going to change your blood type. Some things about yourself you can NOT change, no matter how hard you try.

Calling CDing an addiction or not is really irrelevant here. My point was that treating it like an addiction is fraught with problems. It's just as problematic as using aspirin to treat an ingrown toenail. Except, in the case of psychology, the effects could be disastrous. Several members of this forum have reported just that.

Can you stop dressing? Maybe. I know of nobody that's been successful in doing so. But, I'll allow it's possible. But doing so could be quite hazardous to the person making the attempt.

I also see sooooooooooo many stories here of people who said "I can stop if I want to", and purge. Purging is the absolute least of their problems. Time and time again we read about people who purged, got married, figured they were 'cured' and could stop it permanently. How many times does this course of action have to be shown to be riddled with problems?

[bimini1]

I think with me it might stop one day on it's own. Everyone is different. Some folks might reach a ceiling with it, with no where else to go.

I would say it's about what do you want to get out of it? That is something only we can answer for ourselves personally I haven't answered it yet,lol.

[docrobbysherry]

I've heard this type of self therapy does WONDERS!!:)

When u feel like slipping on some hose and heels, u bite into a red hot chili!:eek: All u can think about is your burning lips!

U REALLY want to buy that cute dress! But, u give the money to charity instead!:brolleyes: Too broke to shop now!

U feel compelled to dress to the 9's on Sat. Instead, u help your neighbor clean his garage!:doh: After, you're WAY too tired to do anything but shower, dinner, then bed!

[NicoleScott]

Doc, maybe my dad didn't have any hot peppers when I was caught playing with lipstick at about age 7. He held me down and applied lipstick on me while humiliating me, saying things like "now doesn't that look pretty". Of course, I did the obligatory cry and token resistance. Must have worked, because I've hardly touched the stuff since.

[Rebecca W.]

When I stop, my feminine desires just build up and then the implusive purchases occur to fulfill my desires. I have found that when I dress on a regular basis, it tempers my anger level and the daily stresses in life.
To me it is a gift to be able to have two sides to balance my dominate male side. It requires no medication to relieve stress and you will look great dressed in something opposite of your "normal" attire. For me, when I dress life just slows down and it feels normal, like it should be all of the time.
I have fought and I am still fighting my "urge" to dress. Why, I cannot answer that, that is why I am here. I have not dressed in four months and all I do now is look online for a pretty dress. I have had this desire to be a CD for my entire life and I need to embrace it and work a balance into my life to dress.
I have never regretted joining this forum, it is my inner battle to express my feminine side that is my downfall.

[eluuzion]

Is there any hypnosis that can be done, or therapy that can break my crossdressing ways, and make me completely male? I feel like I'm living as both sexes right now, but am favoring being a male.

The hair on the back of my neck always stands out when I read/hear this kind of "plea" from anyone. Not that there is anything "wrong" with the content or desire...but from a personal safety aspect.

There are many "groups" out there that love to "chat" with folks in your "frame of mind". They all have "exactly what you are looking for" to improve your life. They are always eager to "save" you. A few months later you are speaking a whole new "language" with key words and phrases only the group can translate...etc.etc...

You know..."self-improvement" seminars, groups...
I just refer to them affectionately as CULTS...!!

Nothing wrong with looking for help when you need it. It's an option we all should take when we need it. We just need to be cautious about which forests we search in...

just a thought,

Good Luck,

""mom""....lol

[Christineblake113]

I can only agree with what others here have already said. It is almost impossible to stop the desire to dress, so best to accept it and know you aren't less of a man or less of a person because of it.

Also know that you are not alone. The internet has made it very easy for us to discuss our issues, problems, etc. An easy access support group in a way.

At moments like this you will think of purging, or throwing away your female clothing. If there are any items that you are particularly fond of or were hard to find or get, pack them away in a safe place where you won't think about them. There is a good chance you will be back at some point, and you will strongly regret purging those items. Really, pack away your whole wardrobe if you can.

Christine