I'm Gaining Weight, But losing my Faith!!

[Danielle Gee]

Before I discovered Crossdressers.com a couple of years ago I led what I thought was a happy life. I was “shaved and dressed” from about the middle of September till the first week of May or so. I assumed the role of Loving Wife in our marriage and managed a full time job, plus most of the woman’s work.

In the summer months I’d grow a goatee and allow my body to resume it hairiness. I’d do everything most folks would consider “Manly” (for my age). Then the life cycle would complete its revolution (as it is want to do) and I would dig out the lingerie and other female clothes. Begin a diet; I’d always lose 20-30 pounds over the winter. I’d resume with my Female persona thru the winter. Both my wife and I were happy with this arrangement.

But after joining this group and realizing how serious a lot of you women are about your lifestyle, I began to wonder……….Maybe I ought to be more serious too, maybe I should more fully embrace the female side of me. So I stayed shaved and continued dressing thru May and June. But then my Male side revolted WTF it said!!! This is supposed to be my time!!!! I’ve gained 10 pounds in May and June alone and haven’t really “dressed” for weeks!!! Why, because most of my female clothes look like Sh*t on my fat body!!!

Then after chatting with some of my friends here I had a ZEN moment!! Being happy as a Cross dresser is different for each of us. Some of us on this site like to “push the Envelope” and spend so much time on their look that they could pass as a female anywhere. Others are equally happy just donning lingerie or wearing a skirt or a little makeup. Who was I so say if one woman was more valid than another?

The point of this post is simple; I’m am 60 years old and am still unsure of my place in the scheme of things!!! I know lots of you share the uncertainty that seems to go hand in hand with this life style. So I intend to do whatever seems correct for me and my sweetie, and am not going to feel guilty when I do dress….. And more importantly not fell guilty when I don’t dress.

I hope you girls that spend the time to read this rambling post will understand my point and comment either good or bad. I love reading all the comments on the various posts

Love Ya All !!
Danielle:love:

[TabbyJames]

Hi Danielle,

Your journey sounds quite close to mine and I am very content with the way things are. Fall and winter belong more to Tabby, spring and summer more to my male side. This arrangement with myself (and wife) works well. this does not mean that I completely hide either side of myself during these times, it simply means that I spend less time in summer dressing, makeup, and other female stuff and spend more time outdoors, with the kids (who do not know yet), camping (shouldn't do this in a dress), hiking (hard to do in heels), swimming (makeup???) and other fun stuff. Winter I have a lot more time to devote to my dressing and female persona.

I also have the problem of living in redneckville and as a community leader should not be too obvious, although many people know or suspect. I guess showing up at local meetings en drab, wearing wonderful perfume and a little eyeshadow kinda gives it away. Balance in life is everything and each of us finds that in a different place.

[Kathi Lake]

Danielle,

You already have your answer - each of us are different, and therefore have different needs, tolerances, desires, comfort levels, etc. Don't assume that because some of us are more "24/7" than others, that you should be as well. Do what is comfortable for you and your family and you're doing it exactly right!

:)

Kathi

[t-girlxsophie]

I totaly get what you are saying,I consider myself to live a happy and content life,I dress most days and my wife is totally accepting.but as good as it I have moments when I get down and want more,but it soon passes.I think its natural to look at ones life and re evaluate.I Hope you can find yourself in a good place where you have everything you want in life. :hugs:sophie x

[Rianna Humble]

I think that this is the answer you were looking for:


Being happy as a Cross dresser is different for each of us. Some of us on this site like to “push the Envelope” and spend so much time on their look that they could pass as a female anywhere. Others are equally happy just donning lingerie or wearing a skirt or a little makeup.

There is no right way or wrong way to be at peace with yourself as a cross-dresser. If it works for you and your wife, then it's right for you.

Being in transition works for me right now, but that doesn't mean that it has to work for anyone else, nor does this mean that it wouldn't work for others.


The point of this post is simple; I’m am 60 years old and am still unsure of my place in the scheme of things!!! I know lots of you share the uncertainty that seems to go hand in hand with this life style. So I intend to do whatever seems correct for me and my sweetie, and am not going to feel guilty when I do dress….. And more importantly not feel guilty when I don’t dress.

Why should you feel guilty about not dressing at a time when that works for you?

You are a unique individual and a valuable member of our community. No-one has the right to demand that you behave differently to what suits you and your wife in this regard - not even you yourself.

:2c:

[Madilyn A.]

I would say, for me, Danielle's desription of the "annual cycle of femdom" has been spot on. However, I am much less hairless this summer than before, so that when the pink fog hits, I am better prepared. The summer for me is a time when my family are much more subject to "stop by". So yes, dressing takes a back seat, but not entirely due to the "annual cycle".......I do agree that each of us must find what works for us; all of us have different situations we must deal with, and levels of femdom we must achieve for the sake of our own sanity.

[eluuzion]

The older we get, it seems the more we tend to "choose our battles" and favor not fighting as many as possible at all.

We may not have many more answers than we did when we were younger, but at least we seem to learn how to be more comfortable when we are confused, lol.

We are all exactly alike, except for being totally different. :D

ThinkLess, ActMore...life is short. It is like a roll of toilet paper...the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Enjoy it...
:hugs:

[BRANDYJ]

I get it. I totally understand what Danielle is saying. But seasons have little effect on my dressing since I live in Florida where it remains the same basic climate year round except for a few colder then normal days.
I simply try to be happy as me. That can be in either male or fem mode of dress. Missing my GG partner so much seems to have put a damper on my desire to dress. Either that or i'm just getting lazy. lol
We all have to find what works best for us.
Wishing every one a happy holiday today. On my way to a pool party/BBQ. Gonna see some friends that know about Brandy and accept "me" as I ma. But then again, they never saw Brandy...just know about her. My body hair is very short as I have been letting it grow out for now.

[Miranda09]

Danielle...just be who you are. Seems like you're doing a great job so far, especially since you've been able to successfully blend this lifestyle into your marriage. CDing is different for everyone and I can certainly relate to what you say. As much as I love dressing and presenting my femme self, I don't want to lose the male side either. Sometimes it can feel like a roller coaster, but it's all fun and part of the journey. :)

[Diane Elizabeth]

I feel you should do what is best for you and your sweetie. Only you can decide what makes you happy and do it your way. Don't worry about the other "girls". They are not you. Nor are you them 100%.
For myself I will shave year round and dress whenever I can. I was not happy with myself or my life. But when I dress and go out I am happy for a few short hours of the week. Rest of the week I dress in girls jeans and panties year round. I, for one feel the need to go further with my dressing and hope to I find my happiness down the road.

Don't lose the faith Danielle.

[krissysSecret]

This certainly is a fun and very interesting ride through life with, I believe for most of us, comes in cycles of our activities.I have for many years followed the shaved life for the fall and winter only to get hairy again for the summer shorts season. I have changed my mind and stay shaved all year round now and some people notice and some don't(or they don't say anything). It is very liberating to not care!! Enjoy!

[mykhelee]

When the divorce from my most-recent-ex-wife was coming around I had gotten up to 248 pounds. It was a 3 year battle but I got down to 174 with a nice tone.
I was in a 12-14 skirt and a 18-20 top.

Hit a rough snag and have not been able to dress for quite some time, I decided to eat my way into bliss...didn't work.

Back to losing the weight again, much harder 6 years later.

I hope you find your way to losing the weight...it causes more havoc on our systems as we age. As far as the WTF, I used to do that just before a good purge...have not felt that way in years though. Just do what feels right for you and worry not about the rest.

[Naomi Rayne]

You have come to a great conclusion though typing your post. We are all different and all have our own places and comfort zones. You seem to have found yours and it should only change if you want it to change. Not based on what others do.