the power of illusion/suggestion

[kaleyg]

i'm not sure how it happens, but there is definitely something to the power of suggestion in femme presentation. i think its been said many times that a girl is more likely to pass in a public place when she has that confident, womanly attitude. this has been my experince.

but then again, it could just be my own mind -- confidence and attitude just makes me more likely to *think* i'm passing.

this even works in a different way on the internet. the same pic would be laughed at in one location and totally accepted as female in another. i've been posting a lot on yahoo answers (beauty and fashion) asking for advice on a dress, with a link to a pic. i sometimes can't believe the positive response. i usually get outed by at least one person each post, but only one or two mean comments. i think most of the girls who surf yahoo answers are teens, so maybe they're more open to "suggestion". maybe they're just expecting a girl, so they are more likely to see a girl. i get some comments that really make me feel good. (is it ok to put a link to my latets post in here? someone let me know and i'll include it.)

anyone else have experience with this phenomenon?

[ColleenW]

Hi Kaley

Having a positive attitude and confidence works wonders regardless of the situation, not just with passing. Getting your own mind straight is more than half the battle and I'm sure that your confidence and positive attitude is picked up by others so that they don't even think that you might not be female:)

[StaceyJane]

When I go out I have to be at my highest confidence level. Anything else and I wouldn't be able to move.

[kellycan27]

That would depend on how you define "passing" wouldn't it? All the self confidence and attitude in the world isn't going to make people think that Joe the line backer is a woman. Just saying.....

Kel

[nikkijo]

That would depend on how you define "passing" wouldn't it? All the self confidence and attitude in the world isn't going to make people think that Joe the line backer is a woman. Just saying.....

Kel

kelly, dont burst everyones bubble here with your reality.... you may scare people back in to the closets again....


everyone will pass... all it takes is make believe...:D:D:D:drink::drink::tongueout:tongueout :2c:

[Kathi Lake]

Your confidence shouldn't be in the power of passing, but the comfort of knowing who you are and how you present. I don't look like anything near a woman when I go out. I couldn't care less. I know that I feel and look good to me. People don't necessarily accept me as a woman. They accept me as me.

Kathi

[docrobbysherry]

Sounds like apples and oranges to me!:brolleyes:

Of course, they're BOTH fruit, rite?:heehee:

[SuzanneBender]

Being from Kansas I just click my heels three times and viola...I am in the land of blending dancing down the pink brick road hand in hand with little Passalumpas.

Confidence is key. Not confidence in the fact that you look like a woman but confidence in who you are and believing you belong in the crazy mixed up world as who you are. These wonderful moments of being come from the inside not from the outside.

Shame is a powerful tool used by those that wish others to only dance to their tune. The only antidote for shame is a good dose of confidence. A chaser of a bit of witty sarcasm never hurts either.

[PretzelGirl]

Some of it is the ole "if you act like a victim...". I think this is the same kind of thought process that is used in all phases of life.

Leadership can be a fair description of this effect. Leaders are people who present themselves well and with confidence. And then people follow, sometimes being fully blind to what they are following.

So I absolutely believe in it and may also refer to it as a subconcious persuasion. Marketing, so to speak.

[msginaadoll]

There is definitely some truth to your post. Showing confidence and the feeling you belong can take u far. Many folks will accept you because if you look woman like they may just lump u into that category- thus passing if u want to use that term. However as Kelly said confidence only takes u so far. If your appearance does stray to far outside the norm- be it clothing, height, weight, etc you may get more closer looks, and questioning glances.

[Daenna Paz]

When I go out I have to be at my highest confidence level.

My confidence comes mostly from my self-acceptance, not from how I look ... (of course, it doesn't hurt to present well) ... just sayin' ;^)

[CDKaitlynn]

That is an intriguing prompt Kaley! There is nothing more defeating or "outing" than shuffling your feet and peaking around with your head down, lol! There is something very alluring about the female figure and experience. I fell it is truly a miracle that lends evidence to a divine creator. Natural beauty and what i call "cuteness" is universal, and unfortunately all of the things that accentuate this (makeup, clothing etc...) are designed and accepted for WOMEN! Could be a reason a lot of us dress, cause the true women have a monopoly on this stuff...

It is all about perceived expectations. If something may not be expected, it is usually met with misunderstanding or criticism. This is also largely due to the respective audience of the venue. And you are absolutely right about unpredictable responses from different situations.

I think that some of us emphasize "outing" or "passable." To much. Rather than go into detail, ill illustrate with an example.

One of the reasons i am afraid to go out is that some may talk to me or flirt with me and find out that i may not really be a women and that may not stop them! lol, get it?
The point is there is something sensual and alluring about makeup, breasts, cute clothes, etc... So powerful that even if most of us find out it is fake it does not defeat the original attraction. eh, maybe that doesn't make any sence, im just adding my thoughts to the community...

Thanks gurls,

Kaity

[Nikki A.]

There have been a few posts regarding this recently and I find myself looking at women in a different light recently. I've seen GGs (I hope) that are as tall and as large as me, some may even have some arm hair that is dark and yet they are definately not looked at with suspision.
Therefore what is it that outs us. Inappropriate dress ? I've seen some pretty shameful outfits on some women too. I think that confidence is the biggest factor in acceptance. Just like a dog can smell fear, I really do think that we too can sense that fear, panic that someone exudes if they are scared o panicked. While I haven't had as much experience being out in public dressed as some of you do, I have been out in daytime and night time and as long as I felt comfortable I had no difficulties. Was I read? Probably, but I was treated OK whereever I went, and even got a complement or two, here and there.

[windycissy]

Confidence is the secret sauce to successful passing. If you don't have the physical chops to present as a woman it won't make you, but a lack of self-confidence can break you.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

That would depend on how you define "passing" wouldn't it? All the self confidence and attitude in the world isn't going to make people think that Joe the line backer is a woman. Just saying.....

Kel

Maybe not Joe the line backer but would Joe the Wide Reciever maybe have a slighlty better chance?

[Jodi]

It is just like a magic show. It is an illusion or should I call it an act. I agree that self confidence is the key. How does a successful actor get us to believe in his/her part. It is the confidence.

I mostly go out to straight venues and in public. I rarely go to a tranny bar or club. I don't think of myself as passable. Presentable yes. Passable probably not. I ensure that I am dressed for the occasion. All clothing is properly fitting and pressed. I have practiced for years on femme moves, body language and posture. Also, I smile the whole time I am out and about. I look people in the eye and will smile at other women. Ninety percent of the time the woman will return my smile.

I can't remember the last time that I had someone stare or comment.

It is an illusion. If you carry off the illusion, the observer will fall for the magic trick.

Jodi

[IMkrystal]

It is just like a magic show. It is an illusion or should I call it an act. I agree that self confidence is the key. How does a successful actor get us to believe in his/her part. It is the confidence.

I ensure that I am dressed for the occasion. All clothing is properly fitting and pressed. I have practiced for years on femme moves, body language and posture. Also, I smile the whole time I am out and about. I look people in the eye and will smile at other women. Ninety percent of the time the woman will return my smile.It is an illusion. If you carry off the illusion, the observer will fall for the magic trick.Jodi

I am reminded of Kabuki Theater where the female roles are played by men. After recently participating in a motivational course I have developed more confidence in myself as a man I feel positive, taller, and do not allow little things to get me down. It is a work in progress and hopefully one day I will have the confidence to allow Krystal to go out into the world.

[kellycan27]

Maybe not Joe the line backer but would Joe the Wide Reciever maybe have a slighlty better chance?

I suppose that it depends on how Joe the tight end defines "passing".

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Ah yes good point. I did not think about that kind of passing. Maybe Larry the Free Safety or Jack the Half Back might have been better examples.:tongueout

[JamieOH]

Kaley, if that avatar is you, then you don't need much to pass, you look lovely there... I myself need much more, like a shave, a manicure, to lose 60 lbs, oh, and plastic surgery.. haha.. that about covers it.

[kellycan27]

Ah yes good point. I did not think about that kind of passing. Maybe Larry the Free Safety or Jack the Half Back might have been better examples.:tongueout

I have just about exhausted my knowledge about football, but I do know more about the kind of "passing" that this thread is alluding to. I am just saying that passing in one's own mind is totally different than passing public scrutiny and being taken for a gg. There is nothing wrong with having a kick ass attitude or a ton of self confidence..and if that's all you need to get you through the night.. you're golden. I am not sure if your sarcasm stems from being offended, or if you're just trying to be funny...but it wasn't my intention to try and offend anybody.. just stating an honest opinion.. that you can take or leave.

:hugs:

Kel

[eluuzion]

i'm not sure how it happens, but there is definitely something to the power of suggestion in femme presentation. anyone else have experience with this phenomenon?

Is there something to it? Yes, alot.
Life is all about perception.

I am in the "hide-n-seek business" in the real world, so I deal with this issue alot.

The greater your ability to control peoples' perceptions, the more control you have over events in your life. Much of what you are referring to is a product of "body language", cues and gestures. Over 80% of human communication is non-verbal. People have the natural tendency to make assumptions about what they see as long as it is consistent with the cognitive recall stored. There is a reason the gals at the cosmetic counter wear lab coats and sometimes are standing on elevated floors.

The success of "passing" in any role or any venue depends on your ability to participate without contrasting any visual and auditory normalities. Particularly during "first impression" sequences. The longer you "last" without tripping any cues, the more believable you will become in the setting. Manipulating the perception of others (in addition to that which you have manipulated in your person) enhances your ability to get the results you desire.

For example, when I was in "sales"...the goal was to figure a way to gain access to a new building and view the prints, so I could get the contact information of the Company moving in. (security would not allow access unless you were "authorized". I just carried a hard hat in my car that I would put on and carried a clipboard. I would just walk into the building like I was a "supervisor" and ask anybody where the master prints were located. They would always just tell me and I would walk away...get the info...and leave quickly...:love:

It is fun, but only if you control it with some ethics. I have a buddy who is con man and your worst nightmare. He just knows how to manipulate.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I have just about exhausted my knowledge about football, but I do know more about the kind of "passing" that this thread is alluding to. I am just saying that passing in one's own mind is totally different than passing public scrutiny and being taken for a gg. There is nothing wrong with having a kick ass attitude or a ton of self confidence..and if that's all you need to get you through the night.. you're golden. I am not sure if your sarcasm stems from being offended, or if you're just trying to be funny...but it wasn't my intention to try and offend anybody.. just stating an honest opinion.. that you can take or leave.

:hugs:

Kel

My apologies I did not meen to imply sarcasm and I was not offended by your original post, nor did I mean to offend you. I guess it was a bad poorly executed example of trying to be funny.

[victoriamwilliams1]

You are what you think you are! For me once I stopped thinking myself as "man in a dress" I noticed I worked harder to look as much like a tall woman as I could. Other hurdles if you are going out in public you cannot and I will say cannot think of yourself as a "Cross dresser" though we are and we can not deny it! For me when I though of myself that way I found myself looking around to see what people where doing. I do have those times when I will do that.

The key for me was to only think of myself as a woman when dressed and for us taller girls we have to also get over our height! I know GG's who are 6ft 5in and they dress to impress and I use them as my example being I am 3 inches taller than them.

The mind is powerful and as I said in the start, you are what you think you are.

[AKAMichelle]

Is there something to it? Yes, alot.
Life is all about perception.

I am in the "hide-n-seek business" in the real world, so I deal with this issue alot.

The greater your ability to control peoples' perceptions, the more control you have over events in your life. Much of what you are referring to is a product of "body language", cues and gestures. Over 80% of human communication is non-verbal. People have the natural tendency to make assumptions about what they see as long as it is consistent with the cognitive recall stored. There is a reason the gals at the cosmetic counter wear lab coats and sometimes are standing on elevated floors.

The success of "passing" in any role or any venue depends on your ability to participate without contrasting any visual and auditory normalities. Particularly during "first impression" sequences. The longer you "last" without tripping any cues, the more believable you will become in the setting. Manipulating the perception of others (in addition to that which you have manipulated in your person) enhances your ability to get the results you desire.

For example, when I was in "sales"...the goal was to figure a way to gain access to a new building and view the prints, so I could get the contact information of the Company moving in. (security would not allow access unless you were "authorized". I just carried a hard hat in my car that I would put on and carried a clipboard. I would just walk into the building like I was a "supervisor" and ask anybody where the master prints were located. They would always just tell me and I would walk away...get the info...and leave quickly...:love:

It is fun, but only if you control it with some ethics. I have a buddy who is con man and your worst nightmare. He just knows how to manipulate.

You deal with some shady characters. (Con Man) :D