restrooms

[stephiny10]

When all dressed up and out on town and if you have to use a restroom which one would you use?

[jenna_woods]

I always use the wonen's restrooms well all dressed up, never have had a problem, do your thing and leave,

[Laura Evans]

allways the womans restroom when dressed, never had a problem

[ColleenW]

You should always use the restroom for which you are dressed.

[StaceyJane]

When out as Stacey I use the ladies room.

[Sarah...]

You wouldn't want, as a woman, to use the Gents, right? Use the Ladies. What else would you do? Oh, and never use the disabled facilities.

Sarah x

[Vickie_CDTV]

This is one of the most frequently asked questions, if not the most. However, since local laws and customs vary greatly, and not everyone can pass and/or have legal documentation of their gender status, I do not believe it is in any way a foolish question. For many this is a non-issue (for whatever reason), but if it is a concern for you (as it is for me), here are some tips.

The best answer, to avoid any trouble or embarrassment, is find a single user, non-gendered restroom. Often they are specially handicapped restrooms, or "family restrooms" (originally intended to allow a parent to assist a special needs child of the opposite gender, but work as well for us.)

If that is not possible, try to find a single user female restroom (where you are the only one in there and you can lock the door behind you.)

If you absolutely must share a womens' restroom with GGs, wait until it appears empty if you can. I would also avoid going in if there are minors in there, it can raise some serious red flags (that of course we know are unwarranted, but it can raise them nonetheless.)

Finally, the best plan is to know before you go, scope it out en drab ahead of time so you know the best plan of attack then you need to use the restroom.

(Being as obsessed with avoiding trouble as I am, when en femme I even carry around a small notebook with all of the safe restrooms and their locations around a given area. A bit extreme for most, but some might find it a helpful tactic.)

[sfwarbonnet]

You wouldn't want, as a woman, to use the Gents, right? Use the Ladies. What else would you do? Oh, and never use the disabled facilities.

Sarah x

I agree, don't use the handicapped facilities if you are not handicapped. Why shouldn't a CD use the handicapped stall in the ladies restroom if you are using a wheelchair or scooter?

[kellycan27]

I don't have an opinion on whether a cder should or shouldn't use the ladies room. I do have an opinion on all the squaking about rights. It seems to me that if we want to be accepted and we want our "rights" we need to exercise them. We have the right to use the restroom of our gender and should be able to do so without fear. Everyone seems to want to be able to walk around dressed as they see fit and be accepted as not being different, but when it comes to restroom use.. suddenly we need to feel like we should be treated "special" because we "present" as a female. A lot of cder's say.. I like to cd, but I don't relate to or want to be a female.. so should those people use the ladies room? Wouldn't we gain more as a group if instead of being afraid, ashamed or embarassed..we put on our big girl panties and exercise the rights that we already should be able to enjoy as simply a person?
Just my :2c: and I am glad that I was able to get them in before "T" see this thread and closes it down:heehee:

Kel

[My Lady Marsea]

I don't have an opinion on whether a cder should or shouldn't use the ladies room. I do have an opinion on all the squaking about rights. It seems to me that if we want to be accepted and we want our "rights" we need to exercise them. We have the right to use the restroom of our gender and should be able to do so without fear. Everyone seems to want to be able to walk around dressed as they see fit and be accepted as not being different, but when it comes to restroom use.. suddenly we need to feel like we should be treated "special" because we "present" as a female. A lot of cder's say.. I like to cd, but I don't relate to or want to be a female.. so should those people use the ladies room? Wouldn't we gain more as a group if instead of being afraid, ashamed or embarassed..we put on our big girl panties and exercise the rights that we already should be able to enjoy as simply a person?
Just my :2c: and I am glad that I was able to get them in before "T" see this thread and closes it down:heehee:

Kel

I like totally agree Kelly, if you're going to talk the talk, then walk the walk. Also there is like NO waaaay I'm going into the guys restroom or wutever fully dressed and being as a girl, at worse you might get beat to a pulp and/or sexually assaulted if you encounter the wrong bunch. That possibility has not even remotely happened to me in three years of using the girls room. Also remember while in the girls room it's always FFF (feet facing forward lol).

[Christina Horton]

I use the Ladies room and never had a prob, even with little kids in there. I smile to someone who looks at me and then go and do what I need to. I have never had to go #2 and from what I have heard that most of the women don't go #2 in public restroom cuz it gross, (they say). So I just pee and then go touch up my makeup and maybe brush my hair then leave. I don't rush cuz if you look like you don't belong there and are rushing someone might think your doing something wrong and (raise a RED Flag) with them. If you look and act like you belong there then 99% of the people will believe you. Confidence if key in every thing we do while out dressed.

Act like a pervert get treated like one EH.

[ArleneRaquel]

When enfemme I use the ladies. :)

[Anneliese]

http://www.denverpost.com/headlines/ci_9419103

Some states, including Colorado, make it completely legal for transgenders to use the restroom of their desired choice.

[dennisGTS]

My wife always tells me about how dirty the ladies room is; for example, pee all over the toilet seat from hovering and toilet paper all over the floor as if they were used sashes from a ladies room beauty pagent.

But alas, if I was to ever go out enfemme, I'd use the ladies room cause it'd be trying to pass as a woman. Besides, I think I'd catch more grief from trying to go into the mens room enfemme.

[Megan70]

When out as Stacey I use the ladies room.
Same answer here as alwys from everyone. Just make sure you pass well enough to not cause excitment


I go solo to a Philharmonic concert a dozen times a year, for the last 12 years. Its a fancy concert hall like Carnegie and I'm seated next to people on both sides who didn't have a clue, and at intermission stood in line at the ladies lounge, when into the restroom which was occupied by 20 women in stalls, did my thing and exited, washed up then touched up my makeup and brushed my hair right there amongst them without anyone batting a eye. What a thrill that is to be a " woman" for a night and be one of and among them. Just don't try to flaunt it and draw attention or you might get arrested.
Good luck.

[nikkijo]

it depends.....

[AllieSF]

Living in the San Francisco area is easy, use the restroom for the gender that you are presenting. In other states I would probably do the same. However, I would probably ask first to make sure and to avoid unnecessary problems. I did that in Michigan except at the Detroit Institute of Arts, where i just used the Lady's room..

[sissystephanie]

For the past 5+ years I have been going out as a man dressed enfemme, so I naturally use the men's room! Prior to that, when my late wife was still alive and doing my makeup and wig, I used the ladies when dressed! Just like any other lady! Never have had a problem. Some "looks," but that is all!

[MrKunk]

I never go out in full mode, what I mean by this is I might wear some panties or a bikini bottom under tights. But they are under men's jeans and can not be seen. In that case I use the men's restroom but almost always use a stall.

[Mikaela]

No experience being out, although I disagree with the consensus so far on the disabled room (same goes for 'family room'). It's there for disabled persons if they need them, it is not the same as a handicapped parking space.

There was a topic this week on the Consumerist that had most people saying it was OK to use that restroom. Primarily because there are cases where everyone must wait for an available stall and being disabled doesn't mean you can't wait the 5-10 minutes any normal person could, whereas (law aside) parking far away can put undo toll on someone's condition. If you use it, don't monopolize it because someone may be waiting. My 2 pennies.

[eluuzion]

I would just "hold it" until I got back from my trip. :D
Hey my lab did not "go" for 5 days one time when I had to quarantine him for rabies when he nipped my daughter's playmate (she jumped on his head when he was asleep).:brolleyes:


Or maybe use this gender neutral restroom "road atlas"
http://safe2pee.org/beta/

:love:

[Kate Simmons]

Use the one you are most comfortable using.:)

[Cheryl T]

Women's of course.
I wouldn't dream of using the men's room...might be taken the wrong way and men have a way of handling situations like that that could be harmful to my health.

[Tanya83]

But the real question is, sit or stand? lol

[AKAMichelle]

The mens restroom is totally out of the question. But using the womens may be just as bad. The last thing you want to do is go into a women's bathroom in a state where you can be arrested for doing so with a lot of women around. You best bet in some places in the family restroom. In Colorado where they have laws protecting us, I always use the womens restroom.

[Nicole Erin]

I like totally agree Kelly, if you're going to talk the talk, then walk the walk. ...Also remember while in the girls room it's always FFF (feet facing forward lol).

She forgot to add you need to "squat the squat". Don't piss in the sink like I do.

[AlisonRenee]

My wife always tells me about how dirty the ladies room is; for example, pee all over the toilet seat from hovering and toilet paper all over the floor as if they were used sashes from a ladies room beauty pagent.


.... and to think how much it ticks off women when guys don't put the seat up first!

[Kate Simmons]

She forgot to add you need to "squat the squat". Don't piss in the sink like I do.Good Lord!:eek:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

earlier this year i took a business trip and had to use the womens room at penn station new york...its a very cozy little room and obviously a big city train station restroom is raunchy...thats not news.. the news was the flat out, real punching fist fight that broke out right as i was leaving...the 2 women bumped into each other and it just set them off....

fists were actually flying.
one woman threw at least 3 connecting punches...and we all just stood there!! a couple of us filtered out and got the security..

and off i went...any anxiety about my first trip to manhattan erased by a fight!! I couldnt make this stuff up..

[Midnight Skye]

That's just nutty Kaitlyn. I'm not sure what I'd make of that... I hate physical violence... When its part of film it doesn't bother me... when its real life and I'm there. I shake for at least an hour till my body has calmed down.

On topic... I avoid peeing in public restrooms... I only use them in emergencies and when I travel. So I actually haven't had to use one yet. I'll be traveling en-fem in two weeks so that will be my first time using the womans restroom. I'm all with Kelly on this though... we really need to just put our big girl panties on and do it. We may be a little different... but our bodies still does its business the same. And someone looking like a girl in the mensroom... I've heard of ladies doing it, but us in a mens room sounds like trouble.

Still... I live in a state which does not recognize transgender bathroom rights. It sucks.

[Lexine]

Women's restroom of course!

[juno]

At first, I would have though that men should always use the men's room, no matter how they are dressed, unless you are really transgendered (i.e. very passable and living primarily as a female). But, women's rooms have more privacy, unlike men's rooms with open urinals. My wife is handicapped, and I have gone into the women's restroom with her dressed as a male, and have not yet had a problem if I announce that a man is entering.

So, maybe the best approach is to announce yourself "I am a man dressed as a woman, here to pee. Is that OK with everyone?" Or maybe that would cause more trouble? Has anyone tried that?

J.

[kaleyg]

without a doubt.

[Christina Horton]

So, maybe the best approach is to announce yourself "I am a man dressed as a woman, here to pee. Is that OK with everyone?" Or maybe that would cause more trouble? Has anyone tried that?

J.


I'm sorry Juno but I think that is not the thing to do. We go out dressed and want to be treated as women and not go shouting to the world that "We are men hear us roar!" I would never do that , That could be just as bad as walking into the men's room. Sorry hun that just the way I feel.

[Rianna Humble]

When all dressed up and out on town and if you have to use a restroom which one would you use?

I use the ladies and it doesn't seem to cause a stir. Recently, I needed to go at the end of a train journey but was having difficulties getting through the turnstyle, so they sent a female member of staff to let me in.

When I began my transition at work, this was a topic of debate with some wanting me to use the disabled facilities 4 floors down from where I work, then the head of HR looked into the subject and decided I must be allowed to use the ladies from day 1:yahoo:


we really need to just put our big girl panties on and do it. We may be a little different... but our bodies still does its business the same.

I disagree. If we put our panties on to "do it", that could get a bit icky :eek: I normally take them off before I sit on the stall :tongueout

[faltenrock]

the ladies room - without any problem

[Byanca]

Just make sure you pass well enough to not cause excitment

I've seen some transsexuals, real pretty ones on youtube use the urinator on the mens room, for show. Poor guys...but I think it was a little funny. That looks dangerous, especially if they are drunk.

If one is not all that pretty and girly, they probably wont mind.

Not sure what rest room causes the least excitement.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I use the ladies room:) As it was said here you must also be sure you "pass" well enough to use a multi stall restroom. If you are not comfy enough find a single stall or unisex restroom.

[Annie D]

When dressed enfemme, I have always used the ladies room; no dawdling, do my business and get out of there. I do frequent gay and lesbian bars and feel quite comfortable when there but I have noticed that like most of us, ALL the CD'ers use the ladies restroom but ALL the male presenting lesbians use the ladies restroom as well. I guess they didn't read the memo about using the restroom of the sex you are presenting......

[Jennifer Marie P.]

When youre dressed you use the womans bathroom thats what you are representing as.

[msginaadoll]

Sometimes though it seems we dance around the topic. If you are presenting as a crossdresser- like some people say they are.. Then shouldnt you use the mens restroom. You are not trying to present as female. If by your presentation and mindset you are trying to present as female then I would say use the womens.

[Lora Olivia]

Well for me anyway this has always been a no brainer. No way would I walk into a mens restroom when I am female. I do look for and use a family/handicapped restroom when possible or a convenience store with a unisex. That being said I have used the ladies hundreds of times in all situations, get in and have a wee, wipe, wash up and scram.

[ellenwannabe]

absolutely always use the ladies room as that is what we are when CDed - I've never had anyone say anything to me when in one - Ellen

[juno]

My concern is what to do if you are not passable, or what about men who just wear a dress and no make-up or wig?

I found one reference used by employers to "The principle of least astonishment" which says to use the restroom where your gender appearance is the closest match. So, even if you are not passable, use the women's restroom. If you are obviously a man wearing a dress, use the men's.

If you are not passable, the main concern is legal. It would really suck to get arrested as a "man sneaking into women's restrooms". Right now, many laws are city statutes. The good news is that many states are passing laws. If passed, I think ENDA wil cover restroom use.

Here is a link to information on current laws:
http://www.transgenderlaw.org/ndlaws/index.htm

[Debra Russell]

I started using the the ladies room shortly after I started going out and never had a problem; however at first I would try to time my entrance as to weather it looked busy or not. One day being out at the zoo I had to go, the restrooms were crowded and long lines developed so I got in line. When it came my turn I decided to just do this thing. I went inside where lines were waiting for an open stall. While waiting I saw the whole scenario in the mirror - I diden't look any different than any of the other ladies. That made me feel at ease, I went in the stall as another waited for me, before I left I washed my hands checked myself in the mirror, touched up my makeup. I always use the ladies room when dressed. Look good and feel confident
:raisedeyebrow: Debbie

[eluuzion]

At the end of the day, most of my decisions are based on common sense applied to the circumstances.

If my goal was to use the restroom, I would do a quick assessment of the environment. Which restroom would provide the greatest chance of "going" without encountering any negative consequences? (based on current circumstances).

My goal is to "relieve myself", not take a political stand, start a brawl, get mugged, get arrested, test the law, etc.
Keep it simple...just my philosophy.

[Gerrijerry]

OK just my 2 cents. I use the ladies room. However When I use the room I go in and do what I came in there to do. I do not stand in front of the mirror playing. The idea is to go and do what you need to do and leave. No one will care if that is all you are in there for. The longer you stay in the room the longer others will wonder why you are in there. Which means closer examination of you. If you pass well no problem. but if you don't in some places you can have a problem. Why make a problem when all you really want is to just do what you need to do and leave. As for safety. I aggree that going into a mens room in female mode is not smart on many levels.

[erickka]

However I am presenting determines which rest room I use. However, when using the ladie's room I get in and get out.

[Cassandra]

Use the women's restroom every single time. I've been enfem 100% of the time for six months now and have never had a problem passing.

[CharleneT]

My concern is what to do if you are not passable, or what about men who just wear a dress and no make-up or wig?

I found one reference used by employers to "The principle of least astonishment" which says to use the restroom where your gender appearance is the closest match. So, even if you are not passable, use the women's restroom. If you are obviously a man wearing a dress, use the men's.

If you are not passable, the main concern is legal. It would really suck to get arrested as a "man sneaking into women's restrooms". Right now, many laws are city statutes. The good news is that many states are passing laws. If passed, I think ENDA wil cover restroom use.

Here is a link to information on current laws:
http://www.transgenderlaw.org/ndlaws/index.htm

Good points and thanks for putting up that link!

I still think that you should use the ladies though. In the past, when I didn't pass hardly at all, I still had no trouble from women when using restrooms. Not even a single comment. In the men's I just cannot imagine it would have gone so well. For whatever reasons, women generally aren't going to give you grief over this issue - as long as you just do like them, go in, do your thing and leave. You can check yourself in the mirror or whatever. Just don't "hangout" or try and make a new friend. Be a woman, and they'll respect you for the effort.

[Melissa A.]

earlier this year i took a business trip and had to use the womens room at penn station new york...its a very cozy little room and obviously a big city train station restroom is raunchy...thats not news.. the news was the flat out, real punching fist fight that broke out right as i was leaving...the 2 women bumped into each other and it just set them off....

fists were actually flying.
one woman threw at least 3 connecting punches...and we all just stood there!! a couple of us filtered out and got the security..

and off i went...any anxiety about my first trip to manhattan erased by a fight!! I couldnt make this stuff up..

Holy crow, Kate! Great welcome! I've been in that restroom lots of times! I haven't seen a fight yet, but the upside would be no one pays attention to ya. (actually, that's true without punches being thrown).

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Karen_Ski]

:doh: The Ladies Room of curse! I would no more think of going into a men's room while dressed thn I would of going into the Ladies room while in drab

[julie w]

this question keeps coming up, I have used the ladys when dressed but I think its the most dangerous thing we do ,not from the women in the washroom but from men waiting outside daddy there is a man dressed as a women
in the ladys wash room , use caution

[sfwarbonnet]

Many places now have unisex/family restrooms. If they exist - use them

[carrie-ann]

Each state is different. You need to understand what can happen in each situation. As a over the road truck driver and I'm 247. First I look for unisex bathrooms. Second family bathrooms. Third if I don't know what the law is I use the men's bathroom. It sucks so here is why. If they want too and you get caught in the wrong one. You can be prosecuted as a sex crime. Then you will have to register as a sexual predator. So know where you are and the laws. I haven't had any one make a big deal out of it yet. I've been told I'm in the wrong one. That's a good thing I'm passable I guess. I've had men look at the door to make sure there in the wright one too funny. One of my last fears of being 247 for the last 13 months dam bathrooms. I'm do scared to get arrested for being in.the wrong one. Good luck do what you need to do. Just be careful.