Did Your Parents Affect Your Crossdressing?

[brassieres]

They did for me. My parents divorced when I was young, plus my mom said that she always wanted girls, but had boys instead, which she said that she was happy with. Somehow I think without a father figure in my life and my mom's sentiments, that affected me.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I will say to some degree yes! I was an only child for some years and my mom would say "to bad your a boy, girls have prettier clothes" So I believe that was the start plus other minor events that started me on the path.

[Byanca]

No, I was discouraged. Later, more or less forbidden. Boys don't do this, boys don't do that. I grew very fearful, frightened, worried and introverted. And to make the confusion total, ridiculed with being called girl names. I grew up in a very masculine environment. 3 macho brothers. My grandmother was feminine. I used to dress up and go to her. She was more like me.

[Jennifer in CO]

I shared this elsewhere some time back. I was 15/16 somewhere in there. Mom found my 'stash' and put it on the bed. I hid it again. Found again...back on the bed...again... cleaned/folded/etc this time. Hid again...found again...now in drawers and lone dress and 2 tops and one skirt hanging in front of closet. Several times found panties "accidentally" in my drawer that I'd wear instead of sneaking into sisters and grabbing them till one time felt guilty about wearing them so I went to put them in her drawer and sitting on top is the very pair I'm putting back. Mom was 'accidentally sneaking' me my own pairs (3 or 4 different pair as I remember...all very soft and lacy and always one at a time). Several years later I realized that after that most of my clothes (if not all) were from the GAP. Not a big deal now, but in the early 70's GAP was a trendy GIRLS clothing store. We never talked about/discussed it...ever.

Jenn

[AKAMichelle]

I have always wondered what effect my childhood had on my crossdressng, but I can't figure it out. I haven't worried about it much since then.

I too was told all the time that my mom wanted a girl. I seriously doubt that that was the trigger but who knows. I certainly hope not because I have said it around my boys before. I hope their lives is free of these feelings because of how it affects so many relationships.

[Tomara]

When I was still living at home my moms finding and disposing of my feminine clothes certainly had a affect on my cross-dressing , I had to start my collection all over again ! lol
Tomara

[Danielle Gee]

My Older Sister (5 yrs older) dressed me off and on from my age of 5 or 6. This usually happened about once or twice a month for her remaining time before her marriage. So about 6 or 8 years total.

The amazing thing is both my parents seemed accept this as normal play among siblings. My father was especially kind to me and called me Melissa..When I was in boy mode he was cold and distant to me.

I remember one Christmas all my Aunts and Uncles and Nieces and nephews for at our house for a Christmas. I was about 9 or 10 and pulled a box from under the tree tagged as "To Melissa from Santa" My parents insisted I open it in front of everyone. Inside were a couple of pairs of what are now called "Sissy" Panties.........The kind covered with ruffles (rows and rows) across the back. "Santa must have made a mistake" laughed my Dad "No sissies live here, huh boy?" I remember every one getting a big laugh at that, though I sure at least all the adults knew the truth.


Danielle:brolleyes:

[Debb]

Yes, my folks definitely affected my crossdressing. Negatively.

The first (and only) time I was caught wearing my mom's bra, my dad let his "disappointment" be known very loudly. He thought I was gay, and that this was the end of the world. He refused to talk to me about it at all, and apparently wouldn't allow my mom to say anything, either.

From this, I learned that my CDing was a disgusting, dirty thing to be hidden at all costs.

I've gotten over that now, but still can't bring myself to tell my mom or dad.... it'd be nice to say something like, "Hi Dad, this is me dressed as the girl I should have been; oh by the way, I'm not gay so you can stop worrying".

It's a serious hangup that both of my folks have, and it hurts.

[Frédérique]

Did Your Parents Affect Your Crossdressing?

Oh, sure. My parents wanted a boy, but that went against my nature in a big way. Actually, I was an accident, a preemie, and the last male hope, all rolled into one. I just wanted to float around and observe nature, but I was expected to be a boy. It wasn’t spelled out in obvious terms, but the steering was none-too subtle, coming from my parents, grandparents, sisters, and even family friends. I had to go somewhere to be alone and be ME. This is still going on, but I can’t say if my parents were the driving force behind my crossdressing. It just happened (don't forget peer pressure), in an inevitable sense, and I look back now and then for the origin of my transformation – I can’t help but make a connection between what was expected of me and seemingly innocuous turning-away from expectation. I did just enough to get by, preserving my beautiful private world away from prying eyes. If only they knew the real me, but these things happen. There was a lot of non-communication, especially about feelings…:straightface:

[Sarah Doepner]

My parents divorced when I was 8 or 9 years old and so I had an absent father and a hard working, caring mother for my primary role model. When my mother discovered that I had worn her clothes several years later she packed me off to spend the summer with my dad. However she didn't explain what had happened to help her decide that. So when I got to my dad's house I found the room I was given contained a wardrobe full of girl things and most of them fit me very nicely.

Did they have an affect on my crossdressing? I think they did in some strange and subtle ways. But I probably would have dressed anyway, regardless.

[scarlett]

No, other than living in fear of my life for 15 years or so....

[Miley]

Not in a positive way. Some of the most earliest memories I can think of is me wanting to wear a dress. My mum asked me this just recently when she found out that I am a crossdresser, she though it was because of my abusive step father but truthfully I had to tell her that I like this before he was on the scene. Probably the stress of home helped me find relief in dressing and gave me joy that I needed (and a guilt that I didn't)

[RachelDenise]

Strong mother, absent father figure but no encouragement. Mother found my stash and left a note for me to throw it away. Found a better hiding place. Never had any discussions with her about my dressing or femme clothes. So, any influence? Nope. But part of my femme self? Yes. It was the environment that I grew up in and had my formative years.

[eluuzion]

A common theme appearing in many in CD/TS/T “explanations of "causal factors” is the physical absence and/or emotionally empty father figure and/or an unusually strong attachment with the mother in some fashion.

Not sure about believing that is a typical scenario, but in my case it has some credibility I suppose.

My father was extremely critical, physically absent (work), emotionally vacant and verbally abusive. He made verbal abuse an art. Mixed messages were his specialty. Whatever I did, it was the wrong thing or not good enough. He never threw a ball with me or ever said “I love you”. There is not one family picture with him standing next to me.
My mom was the only daughter of wealthy parents who were socialites and emotionally distant. My mom is extremely emotional and overprotective. Everything in life was a drama. I had one older sister (one year older) that was the “queen”. I was the “loser” and troublemaker.

They shipped me off to military school for high school, I went to colleges out of state and I never lived closer than a 1000K from my home town after that. I visited my dad one time when I took a break from a company turnaround I was wrapping up. I had sixty-five employees and it was turning several million a month after I rescued it from bankruptcy. My dad’s only comment was “You need to find something more stable”. That was about 20 years ago. I think I saw him once after that.

My mom finally divorced my father when she was 80 years old. My dad died a year later and I did not even attend his funeral.

I did not begin to CD until I was in my 30’s. But I think the issues with my dad played a significant role in my cross-dressing “matrix”.

[Steph.TS]

I started CD'ing when I was younger but they told me it was a sin, and kept discouraging me from doing it, I stopped for several years, and now I want to start again, but I'm still worried about the 'it's a sin' stuff, I'm looking for something that will show me clearly that it's not a sin and I can go ahead.

[sometimes_miss]

Directly and indirectly. Mom dressed me in my older sister's hand me down clothing when I was really too young to notice. She would later tell me that it was to 'save' my 'good boy' clothing from being ruined by my playing in it. But it doesn't explain why I remember being called a pretty little girl when I was in a stroller, so I'm guessing she did it then as well. There was also no rush to get my hair cut when I was a kid, either, it took a push by my dad to get my mom to take me. Now, we were poor; I don't know how much difference it would make, or if she just thought it didn't matter if I got it cut or not.

Indirectly. My being born a boy caused major negative changes in my family's lifestyle. We had lived in a nice apartment, low rent, and it was directly across the street from the school where my father worked. But it only had two bedrooms, and rooming a boy and a girl together wasn't acceptable. So they had to uproot my family and move across town, to an old run down house that was always cold in the winter because it was too expensive to heat. My sister lost all her friends, so did my mom, because mom didn't drive, buses and telephone calls were too expensive. This all added up to the concept that I was supposed to be a girl, and that god somehow made a mistake. I don't know exactly how much resentment existed towards me just for being a boy, but I'm sure there was some.
Then there was the obvious; the perceived advantages of being a girl. Mom spent more time with my sister. Sis also got more new clothing, I got hand me downs. Chivalry; a man could never hit a woman, but was supposed to take any physical punishment she handed out. I got beaten up by girls all the time when I was a kid, because I wouldn't fight back. Of course, that branded me as a sissy. My sister also got to stay up later than I did, got more of an allowance. She also had several same age friends in the neighborhood, I had none. Whenever I wanted to play with them, I was always told 'no boys'; now, I suppose if I had been a girl, I would have been told I was too young, but I didn't know that when I was growing up. All I knew, in my house, was it was much better to be a girl. When I added all that, to being told about god's mistake, it all seemed to fit that I was supposed to be a girl.

[dennisGTS]

My parents divorced when I was about 6. My older sister and I lived with just my Father for many years until he got remarried, then obviously, with Dad and Step-Mom. My Korean Mother was very proud of having a son (me) as most Korean Mothers truly want to have a boy.

My Father caught me wearing my sisters panties a couple years after the divorce. Even though I was scolded for doing that, from that point on, I was fascinated by wearing panties.

I have never figured out why I initially wanted to try on my sisters panties. And why it made me so happy when I wore them. And why I wanted to continue to wear them.

[Pythos]

For the most part my parrents discouraged my style variations, but in the end for the most part they lost.

However, the first time I tried on a slip, I got caught by mom. I at the time honestly did not think I was doing anything wrong, and mom at first giggled and said, "oh don't you look cute, come through and show your father"
We then walked through into the kitchen and as we entered my loving mother said "oh look at what we have raised. A little Fruit Loop", they then proceeded to insult me, and laugh.

Yea really nice. No explanation of why I was getting laughed at, no explanation of why girls could wear pants. Nothing, just ridicule.

But honestly all this did was make me hide my dressing, it accomplished nothing more than make me feel afraid of them.

When in middle and high school, I wanted to wear the Gothic styles a few kids wore, complete with androgynous look, and make up. I loved the look. Instead I went through all of those schools in friggin blue jeans and t shirts.

When not in class I wore black spandex leggings in place of jeans, and hung out with my friends which completely accepted my unusual style. I have worn those things ever since, more than jeans. I love them. LOL.

I met three girls in that period that liked my styles, but liked me more. But my work schedule (weekends, and holidays) messed that sort of thing all up.

During that time I attended the Rocky Horror picture show, where I started going in black leggings and nice black shirts, and later on made my "gothic Beauty" costume which consisted of a black tight minidress, black hose, Gothy styled make up, heels, and a blond wig. I did not wear falsies. My look was what I called androgynous. When in this outfit I was MORE attracted to women. LOL.

Later on after moving out of my parents I got myself some skirts for goth club outings, and those soon were integrated into my daily wear.

Aside from some narrow minded nits, I have had overall positive experiences with my styles.

In short my parents only caused me to hide that which has been part of me from the very beginning.

[Lea]

I found out that my parents wanted a girl. Mom used to leave my hair long and dress me up until I was old enough to go to go to school.
When my father was dying I showed him a picture of my daughter in a dress and asked him who it was. He replied its my son wearing a dress.

[Imogen_Mann]

My parents certainly did change my cross-dressing in many ways, thier attitude drove me deep into the closet, the beatings drove me deeper still.

Funnily enough, thier attitudes also provoked a few of my dressing habits. I tend to dress in a way that, had I been a female, they would have not been happy with, from ****ty teenager to tidy and image conscious (makeup was NOT approved of) 40 year old.

The beatings, in the long run, have lead to a sexual area of my life that takes quite some explaining too, but that's not really up for discussion in this forum.

[Nikki A.]

I'm not sure if it was an influence or if it's just in my nature. I remember (i think) that I was young and my mother who did work full time didn't do laundry and I was out of underwear and she gave me a pair of panties to wear to school for the day. Matter of fact and it was a one time thing. Since I was a latch key kid I had time to sneak into her drawers and dress up a bit.
Today I wear panties exclusively, not for the thrill but because they are more comfortable. Most are cotton high or french cut briefs. Not too fancy or lacey.

[KendraGreen]

I am sure my mom knew about my dressing. Her pantyhose had runs in them after I was done with them. She never said a word and I think she secretly supported me. She is gone now, and I know I am the daughter she never had.

[AmiFL]

I was about 15 or so.... and my dad's friend had his daughter stay at our house for the summer....she was troubled..... my dad fawned all over her. He treated her the way I wished I was treated.... well one night i figured if I was a girl he would fawn over me.... so I tried to be one

Well , he still didn't fawn over me, but I found out how much I loved wearing mom's clothes.........

[Charisma]

I was grounded for playing with barbie one time but not for reasons you'd think an M80 and a rubber band was what my buddy I wear thinking of.

folks found a bra and panty in my room one time, their solution was to remove my door. That worked for many years.

Now I've become accustomed to wearing odd things around the house, and out to work in, drop my shorts and low and behold I'm not wearing guy undies and the undershirt has a shelf bra in it...capri pants to the gym...hey Europe has them I've got a european blood line so why not roll with the flow. Never got a spanking, their folks did it to them and they didn't pass it on.

[carrie-ann]

Hell yes I grew up in a very prejudice and consecutive home . So I was made to wear male clothing it sucked! All the girls had pretty clothes I had jeans western wear. I thought it was totally unfair. Especially on Sundays at church when the ladies looked there best. Back then no slacks or jeans in churches. I would just sit there and stare I know they was thinking some thing else but they were wrong. Unless it was the minister now I had a crush on him wow he was so hot. By the way his wife was too. They both were great dresses.

[chrissietoo]

I always wanted to be like a girl as far back as I can remember, and I don't think that had much to do with my parents. But they certainly allowed it. In grammar school I asked if I could be a girl for Halloween, and my mom made a great outfit for me. I have a lovely picture of me and my dad at our front door before I went off to school. He's holding my hand.

I wasn't directly encouraged, but my mom would always pick our feminine boy's things to wear, and even got me a long-tee nightie, and she would comment on how 'nice' I looked. I don't remember her saying "pretty", but I think that's what she meant. I always feel close to her, and my father's smiles, when I'm dressed.

I've always felt I had a disadvantaged childhood because I didn't have a sister to dress me :D I have a friend who's brother wore her things around the house all the time when they were growing up, that would have been so cool!

[shayleetv]

My mother dressed me as a girl several times when I was a baby. I was too young to remember. But that introduced my sister to me as a younger sister for play. Mom never stopped sis from crossdressing me. Later when a Cub Scout with my mom as Den Mother because I had become just as comfortable wearing girl clothes as boy clothes I became the designated cub to play the female part in the skits we did for the Pack meetings. By the last year in Cubs my costumes got to be very realistic (wigs, makeup, dresses and shoes) and for me really fun to wear.

[jenifer m.]

yep mom dressed me for years.as punishment.i finally just did it on my own just to remove her power.now im basically full time in some manner or another.i love being girly now.

[Crysten]

I was so young when I started dressing on my own that I can't imagine what my mom could have done that would have influenced it. Never knew my biological father, and my first step father was .... well, aside from being crazy, he was distant, cold and...well, crazy. First time he ever hit my mom, we moved out (but that took maybe 6 years or so). He wasn't abusive generally, just nuts (like, psychiatric ward nuts but in very subtle ways).

My second stepfather (who my mom is still married to) is a nice guy but never really got me. My adoloscence went like this: stash found, scolded, stash found, scolded, stash found, scolded etc etc etc. Never abused, but highly encouraged to not dress, for sure.

I started dressing very soon after I started to walk, as far as I can tell (and before I can clearly remember it). So I don't know what could have possibly driven me to it, other than my own nature.

[Michaela42]

Yes and no. Whenever I saw my Mother dressed up to go out she always looked so classy and elegant that I guess on some level I wanted to be like her. My Father is a 'manly' sort of guy but it was not out of rejection of those ideals that I wanted to dress.

[marny]

first time i tried on my mothers very cool bra , no straps, i beleive i was 10. or 11. The thing is this is when my father became sick, very sick with cancer. In fact, I watched him die for five years. I'm not sure how that effected me. Maybe not at all. could be growing up in a house full of women. doubt thats the answer either. maybe it's just that i should have been a girl! Marny

[Erica Lynne]

Mother found my "stash" between my matress and box springs when I was pre-teen. She washed and replaced them to the same place! I knew she knew and after that, whenever I "borrowed" her undies and tried on her dresses (we were the same size when I was a teen), I had no fear of being "caught". It was wonderful! We never discussed it, but I could and would try on ANYTHING she had and continued dressing ever since.

[Fab Karen]

Parents can attempt to influence you, but into your adulthood, they can't make you anything you aren't predisposed to being.