Flying Pretty

[CallMeMeg]

Hi all. I'm new here, and I found this forum because I was looking for other people who've done this. I like your term for it!

Exactly one month ago, I was flying from my home to the midwest on a business trip. I thought it would be an experience to travel en femme. I also thought I was finally losing it, but that's not important.

I started a blog to share my experience (and attempt to lessen my anxiety ~ it's not working, by the way) at YouCanCallMeMeg.blogspot.com (http://YouCanCallMeMeg.blogspot.com) .

I've been out 2-3 times a year over the past six years, so this is definitely a jump into the deep end of the pool.

I've read many of the threads on flying pretty, and I am terrified and I will be flying.

I think the scariest part is sitting next to a stranger for almost three hours. I've been trying to interact with random people, but I do it better when I initiate the conversation. Weirdest experience was my last trip out ~ a tire exploded and I had to have the emergency service come to change my tire. I was a tad overdressed to do it myself, and it was 97 degrees out.

So advice, reassurance, suggestions are all welcome! I need the voices of experience and sanity to get me through this!

[Freddy12]

Good luck, Meg!
I have found that most people are caught up in the things that they are doing and don't look carefully at others, even when things are obvious! As far as sitting next to someone for 3 hours, if you are nervous, then don't talk to them. Again, they will probably be caught up in what they are doing, and if not, they probably won't make any negative comments. Remember, they have no idea how you might react to a negative comment!

Best of luck, and let the rest of us girls know how things went.

[joanieb]

HI Meg,

Though I haven't flown enfemme since 9/11 I have several experiences flying in skirts. I also have a couple of experiences with emergency road side services and kindly gentlemen who offer to help young ladies.

Your right, nervs are the biggest issue. And about the only way to calm the nerves is with experience. From what I understand many of the girls have traveled after 9/11. In these cases though, I've heard that most have letters and documentation with them to validate who and what they are. It seems logicial to me that anything out of the norm would get serious attention. They look for nervious tells, and if your not comfortable being out and about in your female persona than a second thought on the art of flying might be considered.
As for my experiences. Really most people were if not just polite, they were friendly and open to conversations (well at least those that like to converse on a plane). My first journey through the air enfemme, I flew first class, this gave me a personal status that I found "validated" my presence. I had a wonderful conversation with a couple who were sitting on the other side of the plane, and the flight attendent about my experiences in life (the couple actually opened the conversation by asking if I were a model). Another time I was fly to Anchorage and sat next to a delightful inuit woman (kinda like the girl in the TV show "Northern exposure". We talked about family and kids and cooking.
Generaly speaking, what I have discovered in life, is that if you are comfortable in your shoes, then others around you will be comfortable. People are curious, but some times shy, or they are happy and love people who are unique. Your demeanor and confedance goes a long way to fitting in to everyday life.
Hopefully some of the girls who fly post 9/11 can give you some great advice.

Joanie

[Katesback]

When I went to SCC last year I had a CD friend who wanted to go with me and fly as a girl. Needless to say I told her that if she did that she would have to do it on her own since I did not see it helpful to hold her hand.

So the day came and she actually did it. I was quite proud of her and since that day she has begun her transition. Recently she was talking to me and said she was soo angry at me for "throwing her to the wolves" at the airport, but now realized that it was the best thing for her. She went on to say it gave her the confidence to move forward in her life!

Katie

[CallMeMeg]

When I went to SCC last year I had a CD friend who wanted to go with me and fly as a girl. Needless to say I told her that if she did that she would have to do it on her own since I did not see it helpful to hold her hand.


I SO want my hand held on this trip! Some GG friends who know are busy. So it looks like it'll be the wolves.

[sherri]

I think the scariest part is sitting next to a stranger for almost three hours. I've been trying to interact with random people, I won't pretend that I don't still get the jitters in some situations, cuz I do. And whenever I push myself into new experiences I do notice any negative vibes from people around me, on the rare occasions when that happens. But I have truly come to the place where I believe the problem is with them, not me. If I were sitting next to someone on a plane who seemed to disapprove of me, they would just have to deal with it cuz I feel good about who and what I am. My attitude is that people have three options, listed here in order of preference, in dealing with me -- they can be cool and treat my gender identity as non-issue, interacting with me as they would anyone else; they can be intrigued by said identity and we can talk about it in a positive way; or they can leave me alone if they don't like it. Either way, my gender presentation is the truest expression of who I really am and I'm gonna enjoy my day, one way or the other.

[CallMeMeg]

Good luck, Meg!
I have found that most people are caught up in the things that they are doing and don't look carefully at others, even when things are obvious! As far as sitting next to someone for 3 hours, if you are nervous, then don't talk to them. Again, they will probably be caught up in what they are doing, and if not, they probably won't make any negative comments. Remember, they have no idea how you might react to a negative comment!

Best of luck, and let the rest of us girls know how things went.
I think the best thing is to get on the airplane with the ubiquitous ear buds in. I can remove them when I sit if I feel positive vibes or just leave them in. But it always feels rude to be wearing them when there are real people around.

A gurlfriend pointed out that women my age are mostly invisible anyway. We Will See.

[Michelle_Tokyo]

I just got back from another Tokyo-Chicago round trip "Flying Pretty" and it so nice to be able to enjoy the whole thing as me.

Yes you will be nervous but for various reasons throughout the trip. There will be a point after you eat when you need to fix your lipstick that makes you crazy because the seatbelt sign is on then, kind of like it doesn't rain when carrying an umbrella.

Just take deep breaths along the way, get lots of mirror time for confidence in appearance, and just enjoy the heck out of it. I always love the look on the immigration officials' faces. Kind of wraps things up nicely at the end of the journey. By that point you are so used to it and comfy as a gal it seems a million years ago that you had nerves.

PM me if you would like any specific tips or questions answered or we can do it in the forum here so everyone can chat.

Have a great time,

Michelle

[CallMeMeg]

Michelle, at least I know that the airplane restroom is unisex. As far as I know, there are none in my local airport. I've always used a family restroom in the past, and avoided (so far) the ladies'.

[AKAMichelle]

While I haven't flown dressed yet, I have recently driven from Denver to Dallas dressed. I had 2 hotel checkins and a few odd stares and comments through some redneck country. I had a few that didn't care about me being a cd'er but smiled. I didn't get a single ma'am on the whole drive but that's ok.

I will be flying en femme probably next month and I am definitely looking forward to it. I think most people just go about their business and ignore the cd'er. But like you I am a little nervous about the person sitting next to me on the flight for 3 hours.

[TxKimberly]

I fly about twice a week dressed. It's honestly no problem at all. I do recall that when I first started doing it 3 or 4 years ago, it made me a nervous wreck, but I'm way past that now.
Let me know which one is your "local" airport and I may be able to tell you if they have unisex bathrooms. (I travel a LOT! LOL)
One of these days I'm gonna make a thread on how to do it and what to worry about, and have the admins make it a sticky so I can stop typing this up over and over. lol

Try and have at least two forms of ID. I was asked one time out of dozens for additional ID as they weren't comfortable with my male ID versus my female appearance.
Don't try out new shoes going through the airline system. Make DAMN sure that you KNOW the shoes you are going to wear are not going to be painful BEFORE you go. I am NOT saying that you shouldn't wear your heels, I am just saying to be damned sure that they are not painful after an hour or so.
Another thing about shoes! Remember that your shoes have to come off going through security. Ever balanced on a 5 inch stiletto trying to take off a shoe with a lot of straps while not having any way to sit down while doing it? It's a lot of fun.
Don't forget that many corsets have metal boning that sets off metal detectors. Set off he metal detector and you get special attention from the TSA and a personal inspection. It's not a show stopper, but I'd rather avoid the hassle.
Much of your makeup consists of those gels and liquids that are restricted going through the security line. Be sure you place them in the zip lock bag that they recommend.
RELAX. If you go through there terrified and scared outta your mind, your gonna make people uncomfortable. If you smile and respond to people when they talk to you, you will be well treated.

[CallMeMeg]

Well, yeah, Kimberly. I saw your pictures on flickr and I swear, I have trouble believing you're not a GG. The airport people thought the ID was fake ~ that's why they wanted to see more! I'm thinking of making a card with a his-and-hers picture on it.

[StaceyJane]

I have never flown en femme but I have been working to push my boundaries recently.
I've ridden the train several times and earlier this week I even took the VIP tour of Cowboy's Stadium en femme. That took a lot of nerve but it was fun and I have no regrets.
I know if you don't do this you will feel the regret and spend a lot of time wishing you had done it.
The key is self confidence. Let that self confidence show and everything will be fine.

[TxKimberly]

. . . . The key is self confidence. Let that self confidence show and everything will be fine.

Zactly!

[Michelle_Tokyo]

I third that. :)

Not sure who it was, maybe Kimberly, but someone said that by smiling at people when out dressed it is more like the reaction they would expect from a gg.

When I flew the first time and got nervous along the way, I recalled that advice and it literally did wonders for how confident I felt.

It seems somehow when we smile at others who may give a second look or who may simply be checking out nice legs, we gain a degree or two of confidence that carries us through things like the delay in the TSA line where you are sure everyone stares at you (when in fact they do not) or the Immigration Line that snakes like a Disneyland ride line and you feel everyone is just right there checking you out.

I guess it works like, smile and you will feel prettier and then confidence starts flowing over you.

Michelle

[rickibarr]

I have flown numerous times dressed "en-femme" with stiletto heels or boots but without wig/makeup/breasts. The last time I flew fully dressed I was next to a GG as I refreshed my lipstick!

The time before the GG next to me told me how she loved my boots (under the boot cut pants). As she started the conversation, I lifted the pants so that she could see the studs etc. on the knee high boots. Oh how she ranted and raved about how more "men" should dress like that!

[CallMeMeg]

It sounds like the TSA etc don't give a darn as long as you behave. That's as it should be, n'est ce pas?

I feel more confident reading the replies here. Terrified, but more confident. :)