Hello Again My Freinds

[carolynn2fem]

Its time for Carolynn to come out and PLAY.
Tuesday I left for Tenn. for 10 days. my work sent me here. my first stop was at the outlet mall. one hanes place for some bra's and panties. they even had those jell breast forms. that was a happy suprise. they are much more comfortable than I expected too :) next outlet mall had a vainty fair witch I knew about. I needed a couple of slips and a nightie. I couldnt pass the Dress Barn with out buying a dress. I already had a couple of pair of heels left. Now Im happy in my hotel room.
the last time i did this was about a year ago.

since then there were a few times the SO would come across a few of my things and she would throw them out or hide them. that would cause me to buy more. having found some of my stuff and getting it back did make me fell bad. I was almost to the point that I starting to see that I was aquiring toomuch stuff. I even parted with a couple pair of shoes.
i HAVE NO idea what it takes to make progress on this situation we arnt going to get anywhere with out comunication, there have being a few occasions where she would get tippsie enough where she would make a couple of inquiries on the mater. i would be honest about it but not push it.

a couple of week ago I confronted her on her behaivor unrelated to my cd'ing. her solutinon to that was to bring cd'ing into the fight and burn most of my stuff in the back yard. I am PISSed Off about that. but also wondering about bring it up as she does. does that keep on the front burner and prevent it from going into a dormant stage in me?

[DonnaT]

also wondering about bring it up as she does. does that keep on the front burner and prevent it from going into a dormant stage in me?
Only you can answer that question.

But let me ask you this, when casually driving around, do you get the urge to go into a store like dress barn just by seeing the store?

Do you wonder about the clothes a lady might be wearing when you see her on the street?

All kinds of things can keep it from going dormant, if it is ever inclined to go dormant. Not everyone has dormant cycles. Thus my response - only you can answer that question.

[Linda St. John]

Hi Carolynn, I just don't understand ....why would you allow someone to take YOUR clothes ..and burn them ? This doesn't sound like a "dormant"
stage to me .:eek::eek:

[carolynn2fem]

cool
tried replying earlier.
being as this is a planned road trip. I thought i WOULD ENDULGE A LITTLE. normaly i dont make it a habit or priority but i ocasionly window shop knowing im not going to buy anything.

dont know if id say wonder but i am observant. some time grade woman and what they wear. sometime see something I would like to have.

for me fall/winter is more of a active time. the intensity veries from year to year

Linda I didnt realy allow her to do that. just trying to stop her would have made a bad situation worse. its just material stuff that can be easly replaced. the fight was about the kids and she brought that up. the stealing and distruction of someone elses property is just wrong. that hurts.

[Kelly DeWinter]

since then there were a few times the SO would come across a few of my things and she would throw them out or hide them. that would cause me to buy more. having found some of my stuff and getting it back did make me fell bad. I was almost to the point that I starting to see that I was aquiring toomuch stuff. I even parted with a couple pair of shoes.
i HAVE NO idea what it takes to make progress on this situation we arnt going to get anywhere with out comunication, there have being a few occasions where she would get tippsie enough where she would make a couple of inquiries on the mater. i would be honest about it but not push it.

a couple of week ago I confronted her on her behaivor unrelated to my cd'ing. her solutinon to that was to bring cd'ing into the fight and burn most of my stuff in the back yard. I am PISSed Off about that. but also wondering about bring it up as she does. does that keep on the front burner and prevent it from going into a dormant stage in me?


This is a very bad cycle you and your wife are in, it appears that you bothe do not communicate with each other, and taht when you do, you do it by taking from each other, she takes by throwing out or burning what you have bought, you take by spending family money on things that you buy over and over again. ( I belive that when you are a family money is held in common) . You both have to learn to tal to one another and to come up with boundries that are healty for your marriage.

One of the best parts of this website is that you can get healthy advice from a lot of people here.

Kelly

[Virgin_CD]

I buy stuff to small and my wife claims it! I borrow her stuff and she scowls "don't you stretch it out!".

[giuseppina]

Hello Carolynn

It appears there are serious communication and respect issues on both sides of your marriage. Change is required for your marriage to survive. If the two of you don't change, chances are good one of you will see a lawyer about a divorce.

Healthy relationships are about trust, respect, and open, healthy communication. I'm afraid I don't see much of that in your post from either of you.

Good luck. :hugs:

[Debb]

Hi Carolynn

A thought just popped into my head and I thought I'd throw it out for you to think about.

When you're fighting about something unrelated, and she brings up the crossdressing ... maybe it's because it's the major thing bothering her, and she doesn't quite know how to single it out.

I could just be talking outta my backside here, I'm certainly no marriage counselor, not even close.

It might be good for both of you to see a family counselor; they can act as an impartial third party, like a referee, and their outside viewpoint may help both of you to calm down, to release the anger and work on resolving the actual problem.

Good luck, I hope things can work out.

[carolynn2fem]

Kelly. Ive being saying for years we need comunicate. is has to be a two way street. but i think she feels if she comunicates she will also have to compromise. that is not a option she will live with.
We do have differnt outlook on money in the relationship. I see it as a mine hers and ours checkbook. not all money belongs in ours checkbook.

Virgin. No. we are not giong to go there.

Bethany I dont think you are talking out your back side. its posible she doesnt know how to single it out for her to not make any compromises on.
We have saw mariage counlelers twice now. both time it came down to the counseler saying untill you are willing to something I cant help you any more. they were speaking to her. but yes I would like to open comunications and clear the air on alot of things.

[carrie-ann]

I don't know you and you're SO's history. Did she know from the start of you two getting together. If not then you two need to compromise. So you have to understand what she is thinking. Good luck.