Should I tell

[KendraGreen]

I have a group of very close friends. We are all very open minded and discuss everything. There are no taboos to our discussions. We all know some very deep and personal secrets about each other.

I am wondering if this is a safe place to come out? There are 4 of us, 2 men, 2 women. The other male is gay but married with children. He is in denial for the most part. I am wondering if coming out will make it safe for him to do so as well. I have no sexual attraction to these folks, they are just people who I spend a lot of time with and who think alike.

[Teresa Ann]

Hi Kendra, That would be a tough call for me to make,I do not know these people as well as you do. Feel them out a little more to see what your relationship well be like after you come out. (2) what would it acomplish would it end up being 3 girls a one guy or how will it be. I am saying don't go for it but to look it over first. Good Luck

[pernille d]

oooofh . not an easy one but ,i spent alot of time wondering if i should come out for the first time to my close friend and colleauge, in the end i did and she said it was the best thing i could have everdone , as she understood that it must be hard for me and was glad that i decided to not hide it from her .

my advice is that you and only you know your friends so you have a better idea than anyone of there reaction, i just knew i had to tell my friend and i knew deep down all would be well.and its one of the best things i have done ,"Yes "i was nervous ,but it sound a bit kitch but "if they are friends they will stick by you " just be yourself and tell them as it is ( same rules as comming out to a partner) and you will wonder what all the fuss is about .



good luck

[kayegirl]

Kendra, over the past few months I have told a number of my friends, family and some neighbours. I only wish that I had done it a long time ago. It just feels so good not to have to skulk about, trying to hide, or keep the secret. But the best thing has been their collective reaction, there has not been one negative outcome. Lots of questions, some a bit awkward, particularly from my sister, but no rejections. So choose your time and words carefully, and let them into your secret life.
Good Luck

[carhill2mn]

I am wondering why you are thinking of coming out to them. Is there something to be gained by you if you do? Will you then do things differently?

[Jilmac]

Kendra, I can only speak for myself but if those were my friends and are non judgemental as you claim, then I would go for it and show them my feminine side. I have already done that with several of my friends, straight and gay, and the results were very favorable. Good luck on your decision.

[~Trudy~]

Hi Sweetheart,

Don't you have fun when you dress up? If you decide to tell them (which I think you should), make sure it's fun and that it doesn't come off like breaking the news of some dreadful disease or something. This isn't bad news, this is great news!

The reason I think you should is because you said that you have a deep and personal relationship without taboos. Maybe your hesitation to talk about cross dressing is a hint that you may not really believe this so strongly about your relationship. Is it really true, or is it how you want it to be?

What does your partner think? Does she want you to come out for them? I'm assuming that she knows that you dress up. If not, you absolutely have to come out to her first.

[Lexine]

I think the more important question is, how well do they know you?

I have a very close group of friends as well and one of the biggest things I had to consider was how well they've known me over the span of the time that I've known them. You know how some girls here say that their girly traits manifest themselves from time to time but not always? Maybe your friends might've been around when you've done this. Of course this is an assumption that your girly traits manifested themselves at all.

If not, then your knowledge of your friends and how well they know you is the key. Some of them might react indifferently, others might take a while to ingest the information, but for the most part I think just the act of coming out to your friends will give you great comfort afterwards. If they can't take it, then that just simply means that they're not as open-minded as you thought?