Have you ever expressed your feelings on being a "CD" and then went into denial?

[Rebecca W.]

Hi to all of my friends. I have come back to say that I had opened up to a few people on here that are my friends and then I just dropped out of site for several months. I have never, in forty-eight years even spoken a word about my crossdressing to anyone before. I have met some very understanding people on here and I have to express my deep regrets in dropping them from my "friends" list. I hope to be able to apologize to all of the friends that I have left for no reason, other than the fact that I cannot seem to come to terms with the fact that I will always be a CD in some shape or form. Denial is such a brutal thing.
I desire to take the "slow" path to expressing my CD feelings to my friends on here and not to go into a deep and very stressful period of denial, ever again.
Please tell me your stories about expressing, too much, too soon on being a closeted CD that has found understanding people to talk to.

[JustWendy]

Hi, Rebecca - hope you remember me - we joined the forum about the same time. Caught up in a deep pink fog, I also quickly revealed more about myself in a few weeks than I had in a lifetime to that point. I've gone through a period of removing my albums and proile pictures (just put this one back up a couple of days ago). Some of this was triggered by changes in life and living situations. Some of it was that while I wanted people to know me, I became uncomfortable with how fast I was moving. You still have this friend, when you're ready.

Wendy:hugs:

[Teresa Ann]

Good Morning Rebecca, While I am not "out" to a lot of people I do get around in my daily life as I like and take it in stride and don't put any pressure on me or my wife. We all need to take this as we ourselves are confitable with. No harm no foul. Welcome back Rebecca.

[Rebecca W.]

I'm glad to be back.

[Christina Horton]

I'm out to everyone so this is just my Opinion.

What you have said is not uncommon hun. Lots of girls get scared of what they share because , when you hold something like this that is a huge thing in your life and you've never told anyone , then you tell tuns of people you can go into shock.

It's normal for that to happen and if you explain to your friends (like in this thread) they will still be friends with you.

Holding in out secret all our life is well hard but sometimes getting it off our chest is the best/and worst thing we can do. The best cuz we finally told others. The worst cuz we told others. Why???

Well I think it's cuz you told someone and now your out of that dam closet (like a big toe out) and that scares us because we think "now this many know what will keep them from telling everyone . Plus the shock of telling people can make us think the weirdest thing like . Ok I told the people in CD.com now my family and my friends and my boss will see is and I'm toast.

Just remember if there looking on this site there here for a reason and if they know it's you with out a pic and all that then dam there good.

"Denial" Thankfully I have never had that in my life. I have never regretted being CD and now that I'm expressing myself going out as Christina I'm so much happier now then I have ever been. But whats right for me may not be right for you.

Yes you will never be able to stop being a CD. Like once a alcoholic always. And alcoholic can never touch a drink again or risk drinking again but there still alcoholic right. Being CD is a little different. You see there is NO cure for it. You will always be CD for the rest of your life and denial will just make you miserable for the rest of your life.


desire to take the "slow" path to expressing my CD feelings to my friends on here and not to go into a deep and very stressful period of denial You need to go at YOUR own pace . What you did is normal for us when we first tell someone like a good long child hood friends or, brother or sister , co worker , or girl/boy friend . We go overboard if they except our CDing and If the help us well hold on to you panties cuz we're going for a ride..... We tend to for get how long it took us to except our own CDing and we expect others to just get to the point where we are and not have second thoughts later and change there minds about the hole thing and thats what scares us too.

I'm not sure if I'm making any sense but thats what I think.

Like I said I have never had any denial with my CDing thankfully for that but, I have read lots of threads in that. Think of out CD subject like a deer in the head lights. We can't get enough of the light but at the last min we bolt. Or we get hit by Life and we are lying in a pool of tears and hurt. If you go to fast you can get hit by the car if you stand in the middle of the road you will see the light , and if you don't move at the right time you get hit.

Hell am I making ANY sense . Myst be to early , I just got up. :yawn:I think:yawn: Ok where was I oh ya I was confusing you.LOL.

Just go at your own pace.....If you tell your friends let then Set the Pace on how much they can take in....If you tell your family remember they know the Male side of you and It will be WEAIRD for them to know you do this.....If you tell your SO let them set the pace and don't over whelm them . If your SO for example love the idea and wants to take you shopping for clothes with you dressed , just remember how long it took you be ok with it. If she/he keeps helping you and you keep making sure (not so much you sound like a broken record) that they are still ok with it and reassure them you will go at there pace!(will any young people know what a record is?)

I hope I was helpful and did not make you More confused in this. Remember YOUR A CROSSDRESSER AND WILL ALWAYS BE. YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP. YOU GO AT YOUR OWN PACE. AND LET OTHERS YOU TELL GO AT THERE PACE. That is unless that pace if too fast for you of course LOL.

Good luck and have fun exploring you new glamorous world of fashion Real Fashion :D!

[AKAMichelle]

Your denial is just you running from yourself. Why? Are you ashamed? I don't know why you would be ashamed. We are all TG on this board. We have many of the same issues. We struggle everyday with being TG and having someone look at us funny while others accept us. It is an ongoing issue everyday to find acceptance and to hide being TG from people that we don't want to know.

When I first accepted that I was TG, it felt like an AA meeting. Even though I have never been, I have seen shows depicting how people stand up and state their name followed by - "I am an alcoholic." Only in my case it is - "Hi my name is Michelle and I am a crossdresser." We can't change the way we were made, but we alter how we accept ourselves. Sounds like that is where you need to focus your energies.

[neverthen]

hi becca i am in the same boat as you as far as not talking with any one about my dressing and that is the reason that i am hear been holding back my whole life and am startig to expl;ode inside with my true wants and needs love the feeling that not only the clothes do to me as far as my apperance but am starting to like the feeling that comes inside and the mental relaxing part of it cant wait to finnaly get fully dressed and made up and meet another like myself to talk with and be my real self without trying to act like the world thinks i should i think that there is a lot of others like me and i think you that need to connect with each other to avoid exploding inside i hope that this makes any sense and would help anyone,i am going to enjoy the rest of my day dressed just wish i had the guts to go by some makeup and to fully shave to go along with this pretty outfit that i have on but the day is coming some and i cant wait!

[Penelope Marie]

:Hi
Some know about me some don't. however I'm not content with just CD'ing i desire the whole package. thats another thing you must decide if your CD or TG. i fought against myself for years. just to try to understand what was going on with me. Still i do not understand it all but i did stop fighting against it and simply accepted myself as i am. i am in this male body tough i loathe this male body its all the body i currently have until i can make it right.
its not easy to accept ones self in every case. i did not for a long long time however now i am not so pent up. not so angry and just happy to be who i am. you will get there by the way we are about the same age. :2c: