Ts/tv/tg dating site.

[Lucy_Bella]

I signed up to a TS/TV/TG dating site, published a few pics ,fill out the normal jumble gumble B.S. Wrote the about me section ,explained that I am totally straight ONLY INTERESTED IN WOMEN..
I thought it was a valade attempt to find an understanding mate start slow and maybe build a relationship.

Instead all I have been getting is men !!:Angry3:.. I am just gonna give up and become a Nun even tho they dress funny..

[sherri]

In previous threads on this subject, I think the consensus has been that a hetero CDer's best shot online is the more mainstream dating sites, wherein you are not overtly presenting yourself as CD (most of them won't allow that), but you either give clues in your profile or quickly 'fess up should a GG show interest.

All you're gonna get on those other sites are horn dog men, 99.99999% of whom are only interested in a quickie, and a "discrete" quickie at that.

[Karen564]

All you're gonna get on those other sites are horn dog men, 99.99999% of whom are only interested in a quickie, and a "discrete" quickie at that.

And the problem is??

Sounds like heaven to me.....:heehee: lol

[Nicole Erin]

Women ain't gonna go cruisin some shady CD dating site looking for a mate.

OK as I was, I was looking at one and a couple women did post, and BOY were they a mess.

[t-girlxsophie]

As have stated once or twice:heehee:My wife and I met online.but it was not a CD specific site,and we werent looking for love just two lonely ppl who just wanted to chat,but who soon fell for each other,sometimes love and relationships find you when you not even looking for it.dont expect everything to happen right away and dont give up

HUGS Sophie x

[Dee Baker]

I posted a profile on a free dating site and made it clear in my profile that I was a heterosexual crossdresser, nothing obnoxious about the profile. After a couple of weeks I was banned from that site.

[pamela_a]

And the problem is??

Sounds like heaven to me.....:heehee: lol

That sounds good to me too. What site was it? :heehee:

[Virgin_CD]

Don't leave the forum, egh?

[CharleneT]

The larger ( and expensive ) "regular" dating sites will likely ban you if you mention "CD". The "alt" sites will have very few women. There are a couple of somewhat smaller sites that might work out. One I recommend is OKCupid.com you'll find they are very accepting, you are very welcome there to have your gender as "F" but clearly state that you are "M", by whatever means. Check 'em out ! Also, totally free ;) Now, nothing in life is perfect eh ? The sticker is that the denizens of that deep tend toward young, so if you are over 35 or so, there will be a smaller number of people to meet.

I've heard that some of the swinging sites have options for TG folks and aren't too weird ( I mean smaller ones, not the AFF sites, they are bogus).

[legz31]

I find it completely ridiculous and unacceptable that one would get banned from a 'regular' dating site because they are a crossdresser. WTF. Talk about discrimination.

[BRANDYJ]

I think that if you really want to find a partner that will accept you, you are going about it the wrong way to add in your dating profile that you are a CD. I don't care if it's one of the few totally free sites or one that you pay a small fortune to join. That is simply to much information for a GG that is looking for a man to have to deal with.
Let's face it, it is not a turn on or something that most women find attractive about a man. True, there are some women that actually like or desire a man that cross dresses. But they are so far and few between. My recommendation is to leave that out of your profile and write a profile that puts your best foot forward...without the heels! Once you make contact with a woman that is interested in everything else about you, you can go slow and feel her out about how accepting of various lifestyles she might be. It won't take long for you to figure out that she either will accept it or reject you for it. Take time to get to know her and her core values, beliefs, religious and social likes and dislikes. Al this before even her own sexual turn ons and turn offs are discussed. Get to know her, let her get to know you. Once a friendship is formed, before feelings of love or commitment come into play, you will have a good idea of how she will feel when and if you tell her your little secret. The very same woman may reject you before she even knows you simply because she has either very poor opinions of every man that would dress in feminine clothes, or has no idea about trans gender issues at all. Point being, she is going to think the worst from lack of knowledge or experience with those faced with any gender issues. In the process of finding a mate, we don't have to discuss or expose our very private and personal likes and dislikes about sex up front. In fact, it would be rather tacky to discuss sexual likes and dislikes in a first conversation with anyone. let alone a prospective mate.

I have been on a few of the more popular ones of both types. In my case, I developed a strong interest in Dominance and submission (another taboo lifestyle in the eyes of society as a whole), so I posted on a site expressly for those of us interested in anything under the broader umbrella if BDSM. In doing so, I felt very comfortable in not only including my crossdresssing in my profile, but also in posting pictures of both my male and female image.
I'm happy to say that I found the love of my life on that site. We have been together for over 4 years now. She knew from day one and likes the fact that cross dressing is part of who I am.
So if you want to post the fact up front, I'd recommend a site such as I met my Lady at. But I would not do the same on a general dating site. Save it for the getting to know you better part of meeting a new love interest. But by all means, tell her before emotions get to strong for either of you.
Te best sites that are totally free to join are plentyoffish.com , datehookup.com and where I met my Lady, collarme.com All of them have forums very much like we have here. The more you post on the forums, the more chances are you will attract someone interested in you. That is how a potential mate gets to know more about you then just reading your profile and seeing your picture.
I have countless good friendships from the general dating sites that I have met in person, became good friends with and in doing so, I have even told about 10 different women about my crossdressing. BUT only after I got to know them, trust them as friends and had a very good idea how they would accept it. Those women are still very good friends today. In some cases it even made our friendships stronger. IF I was available to date, I know that several of them would not reject the idea of dating me. Some have even told me so. BUT remember, they all got to know a lot about me before I ever told them about my crossdressing.
We have many very fine loving GG's here. I would venture a guess that most of them would never respond to an add or profile of a guy that listed that he was a crossdresser. They all learned this after they got to know and maybe even date the guy before that was revealed. In most cases, way later, and that's not a good thing either. But the point is, they accepted it once they knew the other more important things about the guy.

Just my two cents and what I have observed and experienced with on-line dating sites.

[Lucy_Bella]

I find it completely ridiculous and unacceptable that one would get banned from a 'regular' dating site because they are a crossdresser. WTF. Talk about discrimination.

Yes I agree , and some find it a lie to not expose your dressing when you first meet.. It's no wonder why I choose to remain in the closet with my dressing with attitudes that some sites have..

[sherri]

I find it completely ridiculous and unacceptable that one would get banned from a 'regular' dating site because they are a crossdresser. WTF. Talk about discrimination.I couldn't agree more, and the more we talk about it, the more I think we in the TG community ought to be giving them a unified ration of grief over their policy.

But from a practical point of view, I also think Brandyj is right, if you were allowed to be up front about it, the number of women responding to your profile would shrink dramatically. Of course, it only takes one if it's the right one.

[DonnaT]

Don't tell them you are a crossdresser, on any of the regular sites, just say, "and as a bonus, I look good in a dress.":heehee:

[bianca66]

i agree with Donna
just say, "and as a bonus, I look good in a dress.":heehee:

Or you can use this:

Why Any Woman Should Desire Me As Her CD Boyfriend


Economy ~ Girlfriend and boyfriend all rolled into one... Think of the fun we can have shopping together... I will never complain about how much money you spend on shoes and makeup... I really will tell you if that outfit looks good or not if you return the favour... I truly understand how painful hair removal is... I'm more willing to do housework, cooking & laundry... More understanding of why it takes so long in the bathroom... And the top reason: "Honey I don't want to go out with the boys...Lets do our nails tonight"

[BRANDYJ]

Don't tell them you are a crossdresser, on any of the regular sites, just say, "and as a bonus, I look good in a dress.":heehee:

Not sure I'd say exactly that Donna, but you bring up a point. Hint at there being something different about you from other men on the site.

Things like: I have a softer more gentle side then most men. I'm more understanding, accepting and non-judgmental then most..I hope you are too.
Say that you love everything feminine about a woman as a potential date or mate. Be sentimental and express your heart more then most men do. I have a feeling that many women would like to see that softer side of a man and those are the ones that just might accept your being a CD.

I once did that on a dating profile and you'd be amazed at how many women wrote to just compliment me on being a gentle person and express my softer side. I never said I was a cross dresser in that profile. You might be surprised at how many of those women I later told and had no bad reactions from any of them once they got to know me better.

[Katesback]

Ok my sick humor here. I like to say the day I decide to date anyone off the internet is the day I will simply go to the local jail and visit inmates about to be released for a date. The best part of doing this is that I KNOW thier past!

Humor aside. I can only suggest something I suggest to sooo many people. Turn off the computer, get out in the world, get involved in something.

People will get to know you and you will be surprised how many women will be saying HI to you!

Katie

[anabelle]

lol, I certainly understand where you are coming from but online dating is actually a BOOMing industry right now, and actually becoming more and more common with younger folks.

I won't pretend to know all the reasons but I am sure these are at least a few: people are more busy, working more hours, internet is commonplace now and it is common to use it for almost any task...some people cannot make it a single day without using it, you can pre-judge someone before you meet them, connect deeper without wasting money on tons of first dates, etc.

The list really does go on. Now are there creeps and sickos...sure, but there are all over. You could just as easily(or by not using common sense and experience) pick up a complete pysco at the bar or library!

The one thing hurting us, at least I think, is the CD/TG/TV side of things. Obviously as we all know this group is still quite not accepted in the general meaning of the word. So when the dating sites focus on us it tends to be completely sexual. For us it is one thing, but for men/woman looking for it(as a generalization) it still falls under the fantasy realm, in my opinion.

I've tried using these sites, craigslist etc, to see if I could find someone who would want to be with me in CD mode, but most of it is some perverted one liner about their junk or what they want to do to me. It certainly does feel futile...

[tricia_uktv]

You know what? You find what you want in the real world and not in cyberspace. So go out there and have fun!!!!!

Wish you luck,

Hugs

[maya1love]

Hi everyone. Thought I'd put my two cents in. I am a gay male who crossdresses. Yes, I am like a unicorn -- very rare! Anyways, even though most cd/tg sites have lots of men on them, and I am interested in men, they are not quality sites to meet good decent men. As a gay man, I am better off posting on a gay dating/relationship site. Once I meet a man, and get to know him, I will "feel" my way into telling him that I like to dress. Y'see, my logic is that I am just a crossdresser, so why am I putting that foot forward in finding a long term mate? I should be leading with who I am in my day-to-day life -- which is as a gay male. So, the same goes for those straight crossdressers. Meet a good woman using the traditional means available (at parties, singles events, weddings) and take a chance by telling her.

[BRANDYJ]

I once read a study by some University that stated some of the benefits of on-line dating and the process of getting to know someone. It tends to speed up the process of getting to know someone. Makes it easier to tell another about your being a CD. A lot easier then having to tell her over dinner on the first or second date. Sure some people lie on-line. But they do the same thing meeting any other place as well. If it was not for the Internet and a dating site, I would not have found the love I have now. She was 1,200 miles away. So you sure can stretch your search area a lot quicker and cheaper.

[tricia_uktv]

I once read a study by some University that stated some of the benefits of on-line dating and the process of getting to know someone. It tends to speed up the process of getting to know someone. Makes it easier to tell another about your being a CD. A lot easier then having to tell her over dinner on the first or second date. Sure some people lie on-line. But they do the same thing meeting any other place as well. If it was not for the Internet and a dating site, I would not have found the love I have now. She was 1,200 miles away. So you sure can stretch your search area a lot quicker and cheaper.

Yes, I understand Brandy. But the odds are far better in real life.

But then I'm not a bookmaker,

Hugs

[My Lady Marsea]

That sounds good to me too. What site was it? :heehee:

Not sure where I like fit in yet, have toyed with the idea though lol, so guess I'm in. OMG, I can't believe I said that,:o but if in my case the whole thing here is to like so totally transition and be the girl I want to be, guess it might come to this.

[BRANDYJ]

Yes, I understand Brandy. But the odds are far better in real life.

But then I'm not a bookmaker,


Hugs

I disagree Tricia. So many men are so shy they won't even approach a woman in public. Or when they do, they are dismissed before they even get to exchange names let alone share an email or two.

So where do ya look? In a bar, a library, church, the grocery store. Good luck in the old fashioned way. To many women are afraid to talk to men in public in such places. Your odds are far better on a good on-line site where everyone is there for one main reason, that is to meet a mate. Sure there are the losers the cheaters, the players and liars. But they can be the same ones you meet out in public too.

Hate to say it, but more matches are made on-line now a days then in public places. And so much easier to talk about sensitive issues (like cross dressing) when you have the safety of a computer screen in front of you then a real live woman across from you over dinner.

It sure can and does speed up the task of getting to know you that has to take place before a relationship can evolve.

I just went and found this for those interested:

ScienceDaily (Feb. 23, 2005) — Internet dating is proving a much more successful way to find long-term romance and friendship for thousands of people than was previously thought, new research shows.

The research showed that:
# 94 per cent of those surveyed saw their 'e-partner' again after first meeting them, and the relationships lasted for an average of at least seven months, with 18 per cent of them lasting over a year.
# men online were significantly more likely to be committed to the relationship than women and were more dependent on their 'e-partner'.
# the more the couple engaged in simultaneous online chat before meeting rather than simply e-mailing one another, the more they were found to depend on one another emotionally and the more they understood one another.
# those who exchanged gifts before meeting had a more committed and deeper relationship.
# the more the couple talked on the telephone before they met, the deeper the relationship.

You can read the whole report at: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/02/050218125144.htm

[Dee Baker]

I did go on 3 dates before I got banned the first time.

The bad part was I didn’t get any notifications from the website. I did however get a nasty message from a GG saying that I shouldn’t post this type of profile on a dating site. I wonder if she filed a complaint with the site. It was shortly thereafter that I could no longer log into the site so I created a new user name and posted basically the same profile. It only took about 3 days before I could no longer log in with the new user name, after that I gave up.

Ironically I had a profile on a pay site for about a year, similar profile and never got banned or nasty messages.

The statement used on both sites: (When at home for the evening and not expecting company I like to get comfortable, for me that might be dressing en femme.). That was the only hint of CD.

[BRANDYJ]

I did go on 3 dates before I got banned the first time.

The bad part was I didn’t get any notifications from the website. I did however get a nasty message from a GG saying that I shouldn’t post this type of profile on a dating site. I wonder if she filed a complaint with the site. It was shortly thereafter that I could no longer log into the site so I created a new user name and posted basically the same profile. It only took about 3 days before I could no longer log in with the new user name, after that I gave up.

Ironically I had a profile on a pay site for about a year, similar profile and never got banned or nasty messages.

The statement used on both sites: (When at home for the evening and not expecting company I like to get comfortable, for me that might be dressing en femme.). That was the only hint of CD.

I would bet money that the site you are referring to is POF. They have some really ugly moderators that if they don't like you or what you say, they have the power to delete you. It happened to a bunch of friends of mine over a posted party while all the rules of the site were followed. Seems that one moderator just got jealous of the party planner and ruined it for over a hundred people. That's when most went over to a much friendlier site called datehookup. I just hate the name of the site since it sounds like a sex pick up place, but it's not.

I left POF on my own after that.

[Dee Baker]

And the winner is… Brandy!

[BRANDYJ]

And the winner is… Brandy!

I thought so. POF used to be a friendly place to meet either dates or just friends. Now it is like a bad dictatorship.

So go over to datehookup.cm and join there. Better forums then POF and a much better over-all experience with less moderation. Like POF, it is totally free. Never a charge for anything.

Just don't start a thread about cross dressing. You will get ripped to shreds by those that are not tolerant. I still say leave that out of your profile and get to know a woman before you tell her about your being a CD.

[Dee Baker]

I thought so. POF used to be a friendly place to meet either dates or just friends. Now it is like a bad dictatorship.

So go over to datehookup.cm and join there. Better forums then POF and a much better over-all experience with less moderation. Like POF, it is totally free. Never a charge for anything.

Just don't start a thread about cross dressing. You will get ripped to shreds by those that are not tolerant. I still say leave that out of your profile and get to know a woman before you tell her about your being a CD.


It has been quite some time since I posted a profile on a dating site. At the time my social life was in shambles. I have no family in the state where I live and very few friends where I work.

Over time my social life has improved “no thanks to the dating site” and today I don’t feel a need to post on a dating site.

If I find myself in that situation again I will certainly take the advice on which site to post on.

[~Michelle~]

I find it completely ridiculous and unacceptable that one would get banned from a 'regular' dating site because they are a crossdresser. WTF. Talk about discrimination.

Indeed. On top of that you're being punished for being honest, when honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship.

[StarrOfDelite]

All I can say about Online Dating sites are of two types in my experience. Either they are so straight that they will print ***tail if you want to use the generic term for a Manhattan or Martini, or they are so sex-oriented that they are unlikely to produce any valid responses at all.

I have never had much interest in meeting women when presenting as a female, but I suspect that to expect much interest from G-girls is a pretty forlorn hope. Most, not all, of the people on this site who are Hetero and married seem to have problems keeping their long-term partners accommodated happily to their crossdressing, so it would seem to me that finding a woman who is actively interested in dating a CD/TV would be like finding the proverbial needle.

I had a profile on Adult Friend Finder when I was a few years younger and proportionately more reckless, and almost every response was from a male. The men fell into four general categories: First, "straight" guys who had watched a lot of ******* Porn, and were expecting a 45-55 year old crossdresser to resemble some 25 y.o. androgene with latex boobs; second, teenagers/ young twenties who just wanted someone/anyone who would supply a warm, wet receptacle for their manhood; third, picture collectors who liked to get tons of pix to which they could masturbate without ever risking interpersonal contact; and fourth, guys who wanted me to hump them.

I think that in all of the time I was on AFF, and Alt, I corresponded with maybe a grand total of five genetic women, and another dozen male/female couples. The women were pretty much all merely curious, and most of the couples wanted to do really weird stuff and take lots of pictures. I should add, that with the single women I initiated all of the correspondences.


To top it off, once I thought I'd identified a possibly nice guy, the percentage of no-shows was about 80%, and, of those who actually showed up for a drink at a bar, the percentage who matched their photos and profile was about ten percent of the remainder.

It wasn't a total waste of effort, because I did wind up meeting a few decent people with whom I have had intermittent relationships. But, be prepared to put in the time, and be prepared to suffer many more disappointments than triumphs.