Feminine behaviors in guy mode and vice versa?

[Sarah Doepner]

What male behaviors are easy or appropriate when you are crossdressed? And the flip side to that question is just as important; What feminine behaviors do you find easy to practice when you are in guy mode?

There are physical actions, the way I walk or use my hands that change along with my clothing, but I'm having a difficult time identifying behaviors that aren't shared across the entire closet. Maybe being very complimentary about someone's clothing choices is best done by women, but I've done it with other guys. Society has been encouraging women to be strong and men to be sensitive for so long now that just about anything crosses gender lines without raising too many eyebrows.

[Sandra Dunn]

As a bellydancer I raise a few eyebrows to begin with. For me I studied the female actions and begin learning them to the point it became second nature in many respects. I've gotten to the point where it does not matter and in fact I catch myself while in guy mode correcting my actions to be MORE female then male. I noticed a couple of days ago a young lady with her daughter came into the store and I was responding to their requests as a woman would.

Sandra Dunn

[ReineD]

If anyone were to identify a particular behavior as being typically male or female, I think they would be defining a stereotype. We all have such broad ranges of behavior and manners of walking, talking, laughing, etc, that I really don't think it's possible to pinpoint actions that might be considered feminine or masculine, save for the exaggerated stereotypical mannerisms.

Sorry if I'm not much help, but I have gfs who wiggle their bottoms when they walk, and others that don't. There are men who walk like gorillas, and others that don't. I think that mannerisms that are not exaggerated are best.

Lol. And there are women who walk like gorillas and men who wiggle their bottoms too. :)

[suzy1]

I totally disagree with Reine on this. Obviously there are differences with male and females in the way they walk and move. That’s one of the things that make women so adorable.
You can always find exceptions I suppose.
Let’s get away from what society want us to do or worrying about stereotyping and just except reality.
Girls are lovely and feminine and men are the strong ones with the muscle and smelly feet.
Do we want women to be strong and men to be sensitive, or do we want women to be women and men to be men!
It’s a crazy world of hang ups and confusion. Count me out.
Just go on walking with a wiggle Sarah, you will look lovely. And don’t worry about the rest.

SUZY

[Kate Simmons]

Be whatever it may be, "society" will do what it will do. True friends, on the other hand, will accept you as the person you are without any pre-conceived notions one way or the other.:)

[carrie-ann]

It's a tough one.13 months now been 247 ftm. I find when men are loud and boystress I have to watch myself from trying to get my say in LOL. So I will start talking louder oops not good LOL. I'm in trucking so a lot of testosterone here. Every other day at a shipper or receiver. So mostly men. I do great most of the time. My stance and hands the hardest thing. I get completed on my voice. So It's work in progress every day .

[joanieb]

That's easy, standing to pee in girl guise, and sitting to pee in guy guise..

I didn't just say that did I? Well I certainly wouldn't do the first example in a public rest room Ever!!! Unless it was Halloween and I was out at a club, (love those funny photos with Trans people standing at urnals). All right enough of the potty talk. Oh wait! One more thing. I always sit even in guy guise, and even when my wife and I are in the woods hiking. It's only fair to her.

Reine, If I may


If anyone were to identify a particular behavior as being typically male or female, I think they would be defining a stereotype.

Lol. And there are women who walk like gorillas and men who wiggle their bottoms too. :)

You are right. There is no question that we are defining stereotypes. It is in those stereotypes that lay the means that we rely on to define ourselves. Rightly or wrongly, biologically or psychoanalytically we do it. If it were not stereotypical (given in many examples), those differences between men and women would be unnoticed and thus non of us would be trans.... or some other self defining place on the total gender landscape. We would just merely exist in a world of androgyny. Thus only need to transition would be to change ones genitalia (which is very valid and necessary for some in the reality of themselves). Because we don't display our genitalia in public, and is used at birth to define our entire lives. There would be no other means to set our gender apart (other some cross traits and body builds) from our birth gender, should our birth gender not suit our mind gender. I believe we tend to flock to like and liked styles and behaviors that I also believe are natural differences and traits between the sexes. As they are innate in the majority of people born with that sex. Whether a person chooses to go with the norm, interpret their own norm as they see it or as other see it. It is important for us all to place emphasis on the uniqueness of ourselves in comparison to others and it is every persons right to be unique. I see this as in important aspect of life. But, it does not negate that there are very distinct differences between male and female actions and attributes which we clearly define by default. It is only wrong or bad, when we hold an one individual to those stereotypes with consequence.

Thanks. And I apologize for being contrary. I've learned that it is part of who I am.:o

Muliebrity (myoo-lee-EB-ri-tree) Noun
- 1. The state of being a woman 2. femininity.

[Sarah Doepner]

I need to think about this a little more but I still need help understanding what we are getting from our crossdressing. If we can practice stereotypical feminine behaviors and even mannerisms regardless of how we are dressed, and we can underdress and wear silk shirts, etc, have our ears pierced and grow our hair long, all while dressed as men, why crossdress?

What are you really getting from the transformation? For me it's seem that it gives me a chance to be Sarah and not have to deal with Dave's issues. So, could I get that by parting my hair on the other side and calling myself Bob? I don't think so. There is something else going on when I wear woman's clothing, makeup, wig and accessories. Is it the "rituals" required to get ready that get me in the mindset? There are doors that open when i dress, but I can't seem to find out how to get to it any other way.

Don't get the impression that I'm trying to stop dressing, I'm just trying to find out how to feel that good all the time regardless of the gender I'm presenting.

[ReineD]

Don't get the impression that I'm trying to stop dressing, I'm just trying to find out how to feel that good all the time regardless of the gender I'm presenting.

Again, I don't know if this will be much help, but I think you should just be yourself. Be in closer touch with your feelings (if this is not something you've given yourself permission to do as a guy), and engage in the hobbies that you enjoy, whether you are in male or female mode. The biggest difference in gender IMO is that women tend to think and communicate about how they feel in any given situation, while men tend to think and talk about what to do. Even this statement is stereotypical since obviously there are men who know how they feel and there are also women who seek solutions with their issues.

In terms of your presentation, I do believe that people perceive gender based on how a person looks more than how they walk or laugh, although the male vs. female voice pitch is a different matter, obviously. I mentioned earlier that there is such a wide scope of mannerisms from within each gender that it is impossible to pinpoint a particular way of walking and saying that it is typically female, since many GGs will not walk this way at all.

Here is an example:

Biomotions Lab has come up with an animated motion study of gendered walking styles. There is a button you can slide either to the left or right for masculine or feminine walking styles. The extreme forms of walking (at either end) are what I consider to be stereotypical. I don't know a lot of people who walk like that. Most people I've observed walk somewhere in the middle, perhaps slightly to the left or right. But if someone walks at exactly the 50% mark, their walk would neither be terribly feminine nor masculine, which is entirely doable for a CD without having to appear forced or fake.

http://www.biomotionlab.ca/Demos/BMLwalker.html Be sure to toggle the "lines" button on at the bottom to see the effects more clearly.