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sue_donim
08-25-2005, 10:31 PM
here's a article I came across some years ago. I believe it was written by DR Chris Coleman.
Apologies if this has been posted before.

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A few decades ago men and women had the same sort of life
expectancy. Today's figures show that women now live seven years
longer than men. The life expectancy of the average white woman
is now nearly 80 years. The life expectancy of the average white
man is just above 70 years. Today men die earlier from all
leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, accidents,
violence and suicide.
There is no sound physiological explanation for this massive
difference in life expectation. Women do not naturally live
longer than men. At the turn of the century women and men had an
identical life expectancy. This vast difference in life
expectancy is due to something that has happened this century.
And I suspect that the explanation is social.
In recent years women have quite reasonably claimed the
right to do nearly all of the things that men do - and to behave
in many traditionally male ways. Women now fight fires, drive
lorries, sit in the boss's chair and exhibit emotions which were
traditionally regarded as male - and which, in the past, women
usually had to suppress. Women can be as tough and as aggressive
as men without anyone thinking any the worse of them. And they
can wear male clothing without anyone batting an eyelid.
But while women have won the right to exhibit qualities
which used to be regarded as `male' - without losing their
feminine qualities - most men still don't feel able to exhibit
traditionally female qualities.
Although they now have to cope with a world in which women's
rights and expectations have changed most men still hide their
emotions from one another and from themselves. And it is the
burying of their emotions which results in men suffering so much
damage from stress. At heart most men are just as romantic,
compassionate and sensitive as most women. Indeed, women tend to
be much stronger and more capable of dealing with divorce,
unemployment and bereavement than men are.
Most men dare not admit their femininity to themselves - let
alone show it to others. They bottle up their feelings and suffer
from high blood pressure, heart disease and weak immune systems.
As stress becomes increasingly invasive and inescapable so men
suffer more and more from stress related disorders.
It is social changes which are killing men and filling our
hospitals and old peoples homes with octogenarian widows. While
women have enlarged their role in society (and have, as a result
become healthier) men have been pushed further and further into
their destructive and damaging masculinity. Men are still taught
that they must be heros. They must perform and succeed to win
love and respect. Men who can't cope are weak.
The theory that men are men, that women are women and that
in addition to the obvious physical differences there are
fundamental physiological and psychological differences which
mean that men and women see the world through entirely different
eyes and must, in consequence, respond entirely differently to
identical stimuli is a nonsense. To a large extent the theory no
longer applies to women. But it still applies to men.
Society has tried to define males and females in harsh black
and white tones whereas in reality the truth is a vast variety
of shades of grey. But society's rules and expectations mean that
individuals who do not conform to the strict man-woman dichotomy
tend to suffer agonies; feeling that they have failed themselves,
their families and society. Many suppress and repress what they
regard as `odd' or `unacceptable' feelings - with damaging
psychological consequences.
Transvestism is a healthy release of feelings which are
probably far more universal than is generally accepted. I suspect
that those who condemn cross dressing most loudly are themselves
probably struggling to cope with feelings which they do not
understand and which they regard as unacceptable.
Crossdressing has been described as a `symbolic excursion
across gender boundaries'. It is probably a healthier and more
natural excursion than we realise for it enables a man to show
his `softer side'. Male freedoms should include the right to
express their femaleness, in just the same way that women have
fought for and won the right to express their maleness. Anything
else is sexist and unfair. Men should not be ashamed to show
their female qualities; they should not be reluctant to let their
emotions show, to ask for help and support and to combine
traditional male toughness with the soft, gentle qualities which
are hidden deep inside.
And women should do their best to encourage their men to
show their femininity. These days it isn't women who need
liberating but men.
There are many practical ways in which men can let their
soft, feminine nature surface. They can learn to share their
fears and admit to their vulnerability; they can learn to listen
to their instincts more often and they can share their feelings
with friends.
But it isn't always easy to do these things when you've
spent decades doing the opposite.
And so increasing numbers of men are finding that there is
a short cut. By dressing as women they can liberate their
feminine, gentle side - and (temporarily at least) escape from
their aggressive, ambitious, demanding masculine selves.
After all, women dress as men when taking on male attributes
- the woman truck driver wears jeans and a plaid shirt and the
woman executive wears a smart suit and carries a briefcase.
I believe that the benefits of cross dressing are great. In
my view so many transvestites get stress relief from their
crossdressing that doctors should consider encouraging some of
their harassed male patients to try wearing womens' clothing in
an attempt to escape from their day to day worries.
Many people still regard cross dressing as a joke. It is
something that often attracts sneers and giggles. But if there
were more transvestites in our society there would probably be
fewer men suffering from heart disease, high blood pressure and
ulcers. And that's no laughing matter.
Sadly, many of those who have found the courage to escape
from the stresses of twentieth century life by putting on
panties, bra, stockings and a dress still feel guilty about what
they do.
It is time for the sneering to stop and the guilt to be
banished. While women fighting for liberation burnt their bras
men fighting for liberation are now wearing theirs.
Many transvestites admit that their fear of being found out
neutralises much of the stress relieving benefit they feel from
cross dressing. As someone who has gained great relief from
stress by crossdressing and who has been fortunate enough to
receive unqualified support from his partner I was saddened by
many of the letters I received while preparing this report. It
seems to me to be important that those transvestites who feel
able to do so should be open about what they do. Transvestism
will become accepted only when there is less secrecy. It is too
easy for those who sneer or look down their noses to attack
transvestites on the grounds that if they themselves are too
embarrassed about what they do to admit to it in public then
there must be something wrong with it. There is nothing wrong
with crossdressing but there is a great deal wrong with society.


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without profit or monetary gain to those who have expressed an
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I'm proud to be one of the shades of grey mentioned in the above article.

Sue_donim :)

emmicd
08-25-2005, 11:22 PM
Sue,

You are new here and you certainly have shared a great deal of interesting information that surely has opened my eyes!

I found the article very insightful and it certainly makes a lot of sense. I do feel that we as males do not have it easy in expressing our selves and being in touch with our feelings. We seem to be conditioned to feel that it is wrong to show our emotion and to express ourselves. I feel in a way our relationships with women are not complete when we can not fully express ourselves. I can't understand society's view and why it is always drummed into us as young boys that we shouldn't cry and never never be in touch with our feelings. That would be a no no because then we would be taunted as being sissies. It just does not make any sense to me.

When I was younger and I felt upset I would go outside and throw my baseball as hard as I could against the wall of our driveway and this would help me get through the difficult time. I still can throw a mean fastball but not good enough to make it in the Majors.

Now when I need to get away from the stresses of life I go into my closet pick out a nice matching bra and panty set, a pair of nylon stockings and a very pretty and colorful dress to pick up my spirits. I really feel great when I slip into all that beautiful femme clothing and I just feel much better for the moment. It is very therapeutic and a great escape!

I certainly will take better care of my health as I have a wife and son who mean the world to me!

Thanks for sharing the article!

Emmi

Marlena Dahlstrom
08-25-2005, 11:58 PM
Good article.

FYI, it was written by Vernon Coleman and can be found here. (http://www.vernoncoleman.com/downloads/mid.htm) (Scroll down to the General Conclusion for the essay.)

urban gypsy
08-26-2005, 12:03 AM
hi
I feel that what this article saying is so benefical to us as valid members of society, and maybe if more of us could show the courage to let the world see us for what we are and not what they percieve, cd would be more accepted.
Also if anyone is thinking about letting their nearest and dearest know what they have been doing in private, this article would explain alot and hopefully help them to understand.
although my wife is quite supportive i will be giveing her a copy of this article to read and will post her reaction to it after she has discussed it with me.

big hugs
joanna

Tristen Cox
08-26-2005, 01:39 AM
Sue very good article. Thank you for sharing that with us. Makes good sense ta me. :cool:

sue_donim
08-26-2005, 08:13 PM
Thanks Darla

I knew it was only a part of a much larger article. I came accross it several years ago and I copied that part of it to show some friends at the time.
Unfortunatly I forgot where I'd got it from and couldn't find it again so thanks for the link I will bookmark it this time.

Hugs
Sue_donim :)