Shift in my perspective: a natural progression?

[Stefia S]

I realize that my perspective on how I've spent my time in girl mode has shifted. I used to think that it was my way of "escaping from reality", now my perspective has shifted to "developing another facet of my self" that my whole self benefits from. I was wondering if any of you experienced a similar shift? I've welcomed the shift, since it seems to be a healthy one, yet am curious if it's a common stage that CD's pass through.

[SandraAbsent]

I view it like growing up all over again. Every day your personality develops and changes until you become who your meant to be. Hope that helps.

[Freddy12]

For me it started as exploring how satin type fabrics would feel, so I bought some panties. I liked them, then decided to try pantyhose. I liked that feel also. I decided it wasn't me, threw them out and repressed my urges for years. Over the last year or so I have realized that it's more than a passing (no punn intended) fad for me. It is part of who I am. It has taken a long time to come to that realization.

[msniki48]

i must agree, thatwhen i first started seeing niki in the mirror, it was an escape...now i am convinced she is a big part of me, and when i have to go back to vince....ooooofaa....i don't like that at all.:sad:

like someone said...its like growing up all over again.:battingeyelashes:


:hugs:

[AKAMichelle]

I believe that it is a step that all of us go through on the journey towards acceptance of ourselves. When we begin to accept ourselves and see cd'ing as just another part of who we are, then we begin to find peace and understanding of both sides that make us.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I have found that for me that when I am dressed I do a mental shift now and it was about 5 years after starting back that I would do the shift with out noticing I have done the shift. I found that the more I dressed the more I began thinking of myself as a woman and the most scary part is when I found myself finding a guy who complamented me every time I was in his store when he worked there and on his last day I found myself waiting for him to ask me out after he told me his life story! Now in guy mode I did not think about him however when I was in girl mode I though about him for weeks!

So yes with time we begin to shift and some shift and stay.

[Leslie Langford]

I totally agree with the other girls who have already responded so far.

When I dress as "Leslie" now, it feels completely normal and natural, and although an element of "escape" from the male world is still a part of that, there is no doubt that "she" is developing her own personality and her own life separate from her male self.

I also think that it is no coincidence that so many of us here are in our 50's and 60's, and that we are finally at a stage of our lives where we have finally not only come to accept this part of ourselves without guilt or recrimination, but are making up for lost time as well. Of course, the world has also become a more welcoming place for people like us over the last 20 years or so, which helps considerably.

I am now doing things as "Leslie" which I never would have thought possible even 3 short years ago, including frequently going out in public en femme, shopping for women's clothes, shoes, lingerie, and wigs without giving it a second thought, getting makeovers, having my nails done, dining in restaurants and going to plays, movies, and museums etc. while in girl mode.
This has come with a growing confidence and self-awareness of who I really am deep down inside, and doing so just plain feels "right" now.

[Stefia S]

I have found that for me that when I am dressed I do a mental shift now and it was about 5 years after starting back that I would do the shift with out noticing I have done the shift...
So yes with time we begin to shift and some shift and stay.

Hi Victoria,
I'm fascinated with how your perpective of your world shifted, not just how you see yourself differently. When I go out, ef femme, I'm trying to recognize, even hope to find a shift in how I see, react and interact with people, places and events. After all, settling back into my same way of seeing my world in different clothes is not nearly as exciting!


I am now doing things as "Leslie" which I never would have thought possible even 3 short years ago, including frequently going out in public en femme, shopping for women's clothes, shoes, lingerie, and wigs without giving it a second thought, getting makeovers, having my nails done, dining in restaurants and going to plays, movies, and museums etc. while in girl mode.
This has come with a growing confidence and self-awareness of who I really am deep down inside, and doing so just plain feels "right" now.

Hi Leslie,
I realize I take for granted now, say, purchasing a different shade of lipstick now. A year ago, I only had boy mode to buy my first eyeshadow - I sure felt uncomfortable when the SA gave me a questioning stare. I wouldn't have dreamed that a year later, I could go shopping en femme, and pick up the make-up I want without anyone giving me a second glance. It feels so natural, I even sense "this is deeply right" when I am out and about en femme, blending with other people going about thier daily lives. These are the experiences I don't want to take for granted!

[Rachel Morley]

I think I qualify as a "shifter" :) When I first started "playing at being a girl" (because that's what it was in the beginning for me) I would only dress up once every few months or if I was feeling down and "wanted to be nice to myself".

However, when I met my wife she was quite encouraging and so I did it more .... the more I did it, the more I liked it. When I started to see results appearing in the mirror or in pics that I actually liked, I began to think that perhaps I was meant to be doing this as it seemed to suit me. That's when things moved away from it being a stress busting and mood enhancing tool to be more of something that was inside me anyway that I should be expressing on the outside.

Nowadays, I dress 2 or 3 times a week, mostly weekends (but not always) and for sure it has become an integral part of my life and is something that is part of me. It's started to spill over into my boy world too ... I can't put the genie back in the bottle, but neither would I want to :)

[VeronicaStyles]

I really think that after you develope past the full transformation stage, meaning Fully dressed, make-up, wig everything, you look in the mirror and see a women. However it's only the shell of a women and once you get past the vanity aspect of dressing I feel that one might want to start developing the women more completely. Personality, self-confidence, likes and dislikes. If your always rushing in and out of girl mode you dont get a chance to really stop and smell the roses and really think about what and why you are doing it. Xoxo

[kimdl93]

I certainly have shifted in my perspective too...I began underdressing. I have to admit, I always wanted to dress more completely, but hesitated for years. As Rachel, above, mentions, having a supportive spouse has made it easier for me to evolve. I now dress pretty much full time at home (kids are grown) and dare to go out in somewhat more androgynous styles than I ever had dared before.

[carrie-ann]

I agree 100% with the other ladies. That's why I made my move a year ago. Best thing ive ever done.

[Kathi Lake]

Yup! To put it plain and simple (like me); I, like you, used to dress as an escape from reality. Now it is my escape to reality.

:)

Kathi

[Sarah Doepner]

Kathi has it pretty close to what I'm thinking. Where I used to dress and be Sarah so I could run away from the stresses and problems in life, I'm now dressing so I can run toward life from Sarah's point of view. I had created an empty vessel, away from emotion, decisions or problems and over the last several years I've been slowly filling that vessel with all the components of life, friends and challenges. I need more and more to make life as Sarah a real and satisfying experience. Just wearing the clothing isn't enough because I'm not a dress-makers dummy, but a person. The good part is that as I fill out my feminine side, some of it flows to the male side and makes the other part of my world better as well. Sometimes it creates a challenge, but overall, I'm not complaining yet.

If I'm going to live inside this skin, I may as well make it interesting as well as pretty.

[Lexine]

I'm the same way. At first, I wanted to provoke some responses from people based on how I would, from time to time, break social conventions depending on the gender I'm representing. Nowadays, I discovered the reason why I did those things: I'm inherently an androgyne, which explains all these weird looks I've been getting these past few years.

Now, my boy mode and girl mode have visual representations of themselves, each with a constantly improving image :) Hurray for developing our other side!

[mklinden2010]

I think CDing is a progression and you probably go as far as you want to, and/or need to, because that's what people do in life.

I just posted this in another thread, but it supports that same thing others are saying about one thing leading to another...

Which can be OK and very normal, if you think about fairly:


There may be some people who are born CD, but that's hard to imagine. More likely to CD..., I suppose that's possible. In general, however, I think the "potential" notion, to do and be anything, gets one the farthest with explaining CDing. Most of us have some experience with CDing early in life, and it stays with us after that and we seem to "add" meaning to it as we go along.

Today's comments in various posts allude to it beginning young, before any thought of sex at all - of any sort, yet after the onset of puberty the behavior is usually incorporated into our sex lives... Later that "motivation" dims and "a side" of our being more fully develops that we hadn't really thought to create, it just seems to follow from the experiences we've collected.

About that time the major stresses in our CDing/normal lives seem to occur - this need to be "who we have become" butts up against the knowledge that, "This is not normal." It takes a bit of knowledge to realize that normal is a statistical norm, not a person named Norm, and that everyone, you and I included, fall somewhere on the bell curve on any graph of any activity.

A lot of us seem to get past this stress by accepting ourselves as whatever we are - and then continuing with life with less stress, worry, or, concern about CDing, or, for that matter, normality for ourselves or anyone else. Acceptance of self very often leads to acceptance of others. Live and let live.

[ash]

You are right i dress to be me not dress to escape.Life is hard enough as it is,so live each day as it could be your last on earth!! What is the norm??? I don't know??

[ash]

I agree 100% with the other ladies. That's why I made my move a year ago. Best thing ive ever done.

What move did you do ?? I 'm new here just wanted to say hi,:laughing: