How has your ‘femininity’ changed over time?

[FionaAlexis]

Has your sense of ‘femininity’, ‘femaleness’, ‘being the wrong gender’ – increased, remained constant, fluctuated or decreased through your life?

‘Femininity’ can be - need to dress , need to present as a female or need to express yourself as a female in other ways. ‘Increased’ can be progressively and actively moving to the next level or 're-labelling' yourself or having a greater sense of femaleness and urgency to deal with it.

By ‘Fluctuated’ I don’t mean periodical shifts because of mood or short term temporary changes in your life but rather changes in feelings and urges over an extended period of time.

Thank you.


Fiona xx

[Lisa Golightly]

It has increased and continues to do so, but I must admit that as it does I become a more relaxed and whole person.

[ChristineRenee]

Increased by leaps and bounds Fiona...this site has contributed to that greatly...mostly in making me feel much more confident about who I am and in embracing it.I really love being Chrissie now...I can't say it was always that way however...that's why it is so satisfying to me now!:love:

[Jasmine Marrie]

yes by leaps and bounds

[Tristen Cox]

How has your ‘femininity’ changed over time?

Externalized :cool:

[ebony]

Well I use t be a gangster, don't know what happen. So my feme shot thru the roof.

[Sigrid]

I think fluctuated best describes it for me. A couple times there have been dramatic shifts towards femininity while other times in the other direction. The overall trend however is more gal, less guy. :)

[Wendy me]

oh for shure it has increased there is more of wendy in me than "him" for shure...

[tifftg]

These past few years have gotten me out of the house, meeting with other, incorporating more femme items into my everyday wardrobe, some makeup most days. Tiffany is trying to shine through constantly.

[Rachel_740]

My femininity has increased loads - I'm starting to learn to be and show the person I have been hiding for the last 35 (or so) years and it's great to finally be myself.

Anne

[Rachael Warren]

I have voted "remained constant" due to the over the years clause.

Up until I found this site a few weeks ago, I had been content (mainly) just wearing skirts at home every day for over ten years.

When the opertunity arised I would go much further.

The last few weeks though have been a complete rush, mainly because of this site.

My wife agreed to take a look here, something I didn't expect her to do but she did, and her attitude towards me has changed. We have had a relationship for the last fifteen years that allowed me to do my thing, but she wouldn't often participate, only tolerate within our negotiated set of rules.

I feel that a part of me that has been suppressed for so long is now exploding back into me!

Love, Rachael.

[urban gypsy]

This site has encouraged me to push my femine side more but only to the bounds that have been agreed with the family although the boundaries keep being reset every day as the family find that i am not so stressed and so a much nicer person to live with.

[FionaAlexis]

Thank you to everyone who voted.

I suppose no-one here would be to surprised by the results so far with the overwhelming number experiencing an increase in femaleness. And no-one who voted has experienced a ‘decrease’.

Those who commented that their ‘femaleness’ had increased have done so positively or enthusiastically. And maybe Lisa’s comment “as it does I become a more relaxed and whole person” expresses a general view of those who have reached a level of self discovery? Or self acceptance? There have been no negative comments or fears expressed like ‘where we it all end’ or similar.

It may be unwise to draw too many conclusions from small polls like this - as to a large degree the members of forums like this are largely the ‘converted’ who are happy to journey along this gender road.

It is also interesting that some have attributed their recent ‘increase’ in activity to this forum and I’m sure the same is true on other forums. I also suspect, in the pre-internet days, similar views would have been expressed by those who found ‘community’ in FPE, the Beaumont Society or Seahorse.

Rachael used ‘suppressed’ in describing her changes – and I am very interested in her views. I wonder to what extent those who are experiencing an increase in femaleness also see this as the release of a previously suppressed female part of their personality. Or whether you are experiencing a shift towards a totally new female persona?

Fiona xx

[Rachael Warren]

Thank you to everyone who voted.

I suppose no-one here would be to surprised by the results so far with the overwhelming number experiencing an increase in femaleness. And no-one who voted has experienced a ‘decrease’.

Those who commented that their ‘femaleness’ had increased have done so positively or enthusiastically. And maybe Lisa’s comment “as it does I become a more relaxed and whole person” expresses a general view of those who have reached a level of self discovery? Or self acceptance? There have been no negative comments or fears expressed like ‘where we it all end’ or similar.

It may be unwise to draw too many conclusions from small polls like this - as to a large degree the members of forums like this are largely the ‘converted’ who are happy to journey along this gender road.

It is also interesting that some have attributed their recent ‘increase’ in activity to this forum and I’m sure the same is true on other forums. I also suspect, in the pre-internet days, similar views would have been expressed by those who found ‘community’ in FPE, the Beaumont Society or Seahorse.

Rachael used ‘suppressed’ in describing her changes – and I am very interested in her views. I wonder to what extent those who are experiencing an increase in femaleness also see this as the release of a previously suppressed female part of their personality. Or whether you are experiencing a shift towards a totally new female persona?

Fiona xx

Hi Fiona, I used the word "suppressed" to describe my feelings as they have been for the last fifteen years.



I have never really been comfortable with male company; I tolerate it but prefer to reject it, I very rarely go out to a Pub etc. I prefer my wife’s company to that of anyone else’s. With this in mind, the need to offer just a male persona for all of this time has been difficult, and has caused me a lot of grief, living a lie as it were. I have to work in the world of men, and as such put up the appropriate facade. When at home to keep up that front has been difficult, the only release I had was the times where I was given privacy and opportunity to dress fully, wearing a skirt of an evening isn’t the same thing.



My wife has known about me for all of this time but preferred to have that side of my self shut away, I feel that over time this killed off a part of me and changed my personality, I lost a lot of my caring and empathetic side because I felt that it had to be covered up along with my fears and worries as a father and breadwinner.



It's a bit of a paradox really, the man she married is now returning to the way he was before he came out, and that was what she has wanted all along, her acceptance has begun to make me feel whole again. I am now free to express my emotions freely with her, and am feeling much better for it, albeit that I am much more prone to tears now (happy and sad), I'm not sure that this is a good thing, but it feels natural.



I am not a good wordsmith, so sorry if this is hard to read, it's difficult to put this into words.

Please note that over this long period, my wife did engineer time for Rachael by clearing the house etc. when she felt I needed it. I am not placing any blame on her at all, she is my wife and best freind. Maybe when I sought external help I should have pusshed her harder to talk to the advisors, I don't know, but I am now just happy that things are sorting themselves out.


Love, Rachael.

[FionaAlexis]

[QUOTE=Rachael Warren]
It's a bit of a paradox really, the man she married is now returning to the way he was before he came out, and that was what she has wanted all along, her acceptance has begun to make me feel whole again. I am now free to express my emotions freely with her, and am feeling much better for it, albeit that I am much more prone to tears now (happy and sad), I'm not sure that this is a good thing, but it feels natural.

Thanks Rachael,

I can relate to a lot of what you say. It is a bit of a paradox as you say - but I guess if you are more comfortable with yourself and you feel your partner has come to terms with it - then the jigsaw all falls into place - and old pressure to be a fake male disappears.

Glad everything is working out.

Fiona xx

ps you're a pretty good wordsmith.