Michaella
07-14-2010, 08:58 AM
I’d like some advice please.
I may have an opportunity to go to an event (a book club discussion) where people would, I am sure, be fully accepting of me dressed fully femme. But they do know me, and I don’t want to present myself as a woman; that is, I would not try to “pass” at all. The idea is to be able to wear feminine clothing in a situation where it would not be a problem, and not carry out any deception. I should add that to get to the event I would have to go by public transit and would therefore have to be passing/blending. That’s not the issue, but rather whether to go to the event dressed or not.
I have gone out a maybe a dozen times dressed and attempting to pass, and it has not been a problem at all. Either people pay no attention, or I do pass, or I don’t but they don’t create an issue. Fine.But this is different, as it would be me, male, but looking more or less female. I’ve never done that before except in situations where it’s been a specific cross-dressing event. I don’t particularly like that sort of thing as it becomes all about the dressing, instead of being something happening I want to attend and to which I can go dressed. Those I’ve been to have been at bars and have loud music and drinking and those are just not things I want to do. By comparison this book discussion is something I do enjoy very much, which is why I want to take up the opportunity. I’ve gender-bent—wearing some feminine items such as a skirt while presenting as fully male—but that’s limiting and awkward sometimes (getting there is the problem) and I have presented as female as I said, but this is different and I’m not as confident.
As I’ve said here before, I see crossdressing for myself as not a matter of wanting to be a woman, but simply wanting to wear feminine clothes. (I am not critical of those who do feel they are really women inside and want to become one physically; I just know that is not me.) Dressing fully femme and attempting to pass is then just a means of doing that without hassle, if I can pass or blend. In this case it would be doing the dressing in a situation where I would not even attempt to pass. So, it should make sense for me and I should be alright with it. But . . . . it is nonetheless something new and somewhat anxiety-provoking.
Thank you in advance for your thoughts.
Michaella
I may have an opportunity to go to an event (a book club discussion) where people would, I am sure, be fully accepting of me dressed fully femme. But they do know me, and I don’t want to present myself as a woman; that is, I would not try to “pass” at all. The idea is to be able to wear feminine clothing in a situation where it would not be a problem, and not carry out any deception. I should add that to get to the event I would have to go by public transit and would therefore have to be passing/blending. That’s not the issue, but rather whether to go to the event dressed or not.
I have gone out a maybe a dozen times dressed and attempting to pass, and it has not been a problem at all. Either people pay no attention, or I do pass, or I don’t but they don’t create an issue. Fine.But this is different, as it would be me, male, but looking more or less female. I’ve never done that before except in situations where it’s been a specific cross-dressing event. I don’t particularly like that sort of thing as it becomes all about the dressing, instead of being something happening I want to attend and to which I can go dressed. Those I’ve been to have been at bars and have loud music and drinking and those are just not things I want to do. By comparison this book discussion is something I do enjoy very much, which is why I want to take up the opportunity. I’ve gender-bent—wearing some feminine items such as a skirt while presenting as fully male—but that’s limiting and awkward sometimes (getting there is the problem) and I have presented as female as I said, but this is different and I’m not as confident.
As I’ve said here before, I see crossdressing for myself as not a matter of wanting to be a woman, but simply wanting to wear feminine clothes. (I am not critical of those who do feel they are really women inside and want to become one physically; I just know that is not me.) Dressing fully femme and attempting to pass is then just a means of doing that without hassle, if I can pass or blend. In this case it would be doing the dressing in a situation where I would not even attempt to pass. So, it should make sense for me and I should be alright with it. But . . . . it is nonetheless something new and somewhat anxiety-provoking.
Thank you in advance for your thoughts.
Michaella