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LisaKarenAZ
07-15-2010, 05:37 AM
Well, last night I was dressed in a pair of brown skorts, a white peasant blouse, sandals, intimates, makeup, gold nail polish on hands and feet, and red wig.

After sitting around the house for a little while, I decided to try to go out. There is a bar about half hour from my house that is a gay/TG/CD bar that I thought might be a good start. So I grabbed a small purse, jumped in the vehicle and drove over. Of course, the one night I am trying to be somewhat inconspicuous I hit almost every red light on the way.

It took a few extra minutes to get there as I made a wrong turn. Once I got there and pulled in the parking lot, the furthest slot away from the door, my heart started racing. I sat there in the car for a good 10 minutes collecting the courage to go in. I finally grab my purse and climb out of the vehicle and head toward th door.

Once my hand touched the doorknob, I froze. I walked back and forth between the door and my car before getting back in the car. This happened a couple of times before I had the nerve to sit down on a bench outside the door for a cig. I sat there for about 10 minutes and headed back to the car. Another 15 minutes in the car and I ended up just going home.

Even though I never ended up inside, this was a huge step forward for me. I've never spent that kind of time outside of the house dressed to that level.
It was sooo exciting. I'm looking forward for another attempt soon.

serina lopez
07-15-2010, 06:21 AM
im sure this happens to many of us. for some time that happen to me. once you finally realize, after all the time you spend getting dressed, you should not waste it sitting in ur car or at home alone. be you, go out, and enjoy what the experience will bring. trsut me, once you turn the knob to the door you are about to walk through, you will never be the same and you will be so GLAD you went through with going out dresed!!!!!!

victoriamwilliams1
07-15-2010, 07:01 AM
I must agree that many of us do the same in those early years of going out. Once you start you will find it gets easier. I still deal with that myself and I use wisdom before I enter a business.

Jennifer Marie P.
07-15-2010, 07:07 AM
The first time out is the hardest but you will get your courage the next time around.

Teresa Ann
07-15-2010, 08:09 AM
Lisa the first time is the hardest so now that the hard part is over the next time will be easy. Give us a full report on you next outing, and have fun doing it.

StaceyJane
07-15-2010, 08:16 AM
Just be glad that you went out.
Next time you will be alittle calmer and you can open the door.
Then a whole new world will open up for you.

Sandra Dunn
07-15-2010, 09:05 AM
Lisa

Hi Sis

Propably one of the thoughts going through your mind is will anyone inside see me. Well think about it. Do you look up when someone comes in the room? Yes you do and why do you do that? To see who came in and if you know them. Right?

When you do go into that establishment some of the folks inside will look up and see you. Hold your head up, walk in like you belong there and you are where you are suppose to be. Walk up to the bar and order a drink. This can be a soda if you like or a shot of whiskey your choice.

Since it is a gay bar you may find a freind or two, compliments on your attire, and a welcoming.

You are walking in as a female and yes you will be checked out by most everyone there. Live it up, love it up and take it all in.

Like the other girls siad the first couple of times are rather nerve wrecking and when you accept yourself fully then it's Katie bar the doors I'm coming out.

HUGS Sandra Dunn

Nikki A.
07-15-2010, 10:00 AM
First times out were Halloween (at both parties and at work). First time non Halloween was a lesbian wiccan commitment ceremony and I was with friends and accepted by the other guests there.
Since then I have been out moe often and it does get easier. The most important thing to remember is that you are doing nothing wrong and be proud, and you are being yourself. Once out, follow through, don't chicken out. Go in at least, you'll see that it's not so bad.
Best of luck next time.

ash
07-15-2010, 10:01 AM
Well, last night I was dressed in a pair of brown skorts, a white peasant blouse, sandals, intimates, makeup, gold nail polish on hands and feet, and red wig.

After sitting around the house for a little while, I decided to try to go out. There is a bar about half hour from my house that is a gay/TG/CD bar that I thought might be a good start. So I grabbed a small purse, jumped in the vehicle and drove over. Of course, the one night I am trying to be somewhat inconspicuous I hit almost every red light on the way.

It took a few extra minutes to get there as I made a wrong turn. Once I got there and pulled in the parking lot, the furthest slot away from the door, my heart started racing. I sat there in the car for a good 10 minutes collecting the courage to go in. I finally grab my purse and climb out of the vehicle and head toward th door.

Once my hand touched the doorknob, I froze. I walked back and forth between the door and my car before getting back in the car. This happened a couple of times before I had the nerve to sit down on a bench outside the door for a cig. I sat there for about 10 minutes and headed back to the car. Another 15 minutes in the car and I ended up just going home.

Even though I never ended up inside, this was a huge step forward for me. I've never spent that kind of time outside of the house dressed to that level.
It was sooo exciting. I'm looking forward for another attempt soon.
I get dressed up all the time and I find it very hard to find the guts to go to bar/restuaruts in my town.Many time I'v gotten out of the car walked to the door and backed out, I have asked friends to go with me but something always comed up

Cherie
07-15-2010, 10:14 AM
at least u had the courage to go out ive made it to my backyard::sad:

lavistaa62
07-15-2010, 11:13 AM
You made if further than I did that last time I tried; only made it to the lot before I freaked out:) Please keep us up to date when you give it another shot. It's inspiring for the less courageous of us to hear success stories. We so want inspiration!

mklinden2010
07-15-2010, 11:25 AM
Good job.

Nothing happens at stop lights, you don't get knocked off of benches, and, the key still works in the door when you get home.

It's a decent universe.

After your big run-up, opening the door and walking in will be a bit anti-climatic.

Go in, order a drink, put 20 minutes on the clock, and decide if the joint is worth a second visit the next time you go out.

As for the folks inside - they've seen it all before and wouldn't be there if it bothered them... So, just go on about your business and see how things pan out.

It doesn't just get easier, it becomes very "normal."

Sue Too
07-15-2010, 11:36 AM
Hi Lisa---

I remember the feeling very well. As others have said you have already taken to big step-----the one out your front door. What you are suffering from is a lack of confidence. Experience builds confidence. Lets get some experience, Girl.

I'll go the others one better. Would you like a partner to join you on a future outing. I'd be pleased to join you and offer some moral support.

Look me up,

Susan