Is crossdressing socially acceptable to you? [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

mklinden2010

07-15-2010, 11:18 AM

I have been wondering how many people on these forums actually think crossdressing is socially acceptable - to themselves?

Twenty plus years ago, while single, I couldn't see why I couldn't crossdress in public if I wanted to so I simply walked out the door. I still recall the shocked looks on people's faces at the first convenience store I happened to go into. They looked at each other for clues about what to do and I gave them what they needed to know by just being a customer, "Where's the beer in here?"

About five years later I was living a busy married life with my wife and it occurred to me that I wanted some crossdressed time on the town again and asked my wife about setting up some times to go do things. She didn't want to be hassled with it during the work week and said, "If you can find someplace to go, just tell me when and I'll find something I can do on my own while you're out." By then the Internet had caught on and it took like five seconds to find a "CD Support Group" meeting to go to. Ahhhh, people!

Support groups, of course, are heavily used as "an excuse and a place to dress up and go to" so I wasn't too surprised that the group was split between dedicated support group leaders, old timers, and, well, basket cases... The group leaders managed the serious part of the meeting time, the old timers tried to sit still for the hour, and the basket cases either sat in frozen silence, talked about, "this is so weird for me 101," or, cried.

The real value of the meetings were going for coffee afterwards. By then, everyone had gotten over being helpful, bored, or, worried. Now it was just a bunch of people talking, trading stories and business cards, and, trying to make plans to go bowling or meet for lunch on "third Thursdays." I go to some of the same places now that we went to then - Starbucks, restaurants, and theaters and think about that crowd of CDers that had been there on some night or afternoon in the past as part of that first group. The people and the buildings look and sound the same... The world seems just fine.

So, I'm fine being who I am and I'm fine with most other people crossdressing, or, having tatoos, or, being in different political parties. As long as they make no more noise, spill as little or less of their drinks, and, give others the space to be who they are... I really don't pay much attention.

So, how many people reading these words are fine with crossdressing, their crossdressing, and, other people crossdressing?

It is, "OK" to you, as you read this, or, does CDing still seem somehow "wrong" to you?

sandra-leigh

07-15-2010, 11:41 AM

It may perhaps have bothered me at some time in the past, but now that I have been doing it myself for about 6 years, it is hard to bring that time to mind.

However, there are some forms of cross-dressing I'm still not comfortable with, such as Little Girl. I am not saying that such things are "wrong", just that I am (probably) human and have limits on my comfort zones.

JiveTurkeyOnRye

07-15-2010, 11:43 AM

I'll admit that my experiences going out crossdressed probably vary greatly from those of most on here, though I have gone out in total femme mode too. For me, I can't deny that when I'm out in skirts or other women's clothes, that what I'm doing is at least for most people considered "weird."

But like you in the convenience store, I try to make it a point to send out signals that even though I am dressed unusually, I'm otherwise just a person out and about.

For me there's a difference between "weird" and "bad" or "unacceptable." Pretty much anyone who ever made a difference in the world was weird in one way or another, so I definitely find it acceptable to be weird.

I posted recently about a TG lady who comes into my store, and is way over the top with her movements and her personality and basically seems to go out of her way to be off-putting and rude. I find this unacceptable regardless of how anyone dresses.

On a side note, I think your "coffee afterwards" comments were a really valid point for why CDers *should* be getting out into the world. Support group meetings or designated "girl's" nights at specific clubs are great for getting the courage to go out initially, but eventually it does feel sort of like "ok, we're all crossdressers, now what?" Where as when you finally go out into the real world, You're really just being yourself and happen to be dressed the way you want. And every time that happens and the world doesn't come crumbling down is good for the crossdressers and good for those who don't normally experience us.

NathalieX66

07-15-2010, 11:45 AM

Ooh, I love these existential questions. :battingeyelashes:

I am happy that I have defined myself on my own terms. I refuse to be herded into the slaughterhouse like cattle.
I try to find as many outets as I can to express myself. I hear what you say about support groups, but in essence they are meant to get you on your way....which ever direction that may be.

I'm coming to a point in my life that I am so sick of authority, and views coming from the uneducated status quo, particularly hearing from people who "speculate" based on their own personal fear, and have no collective experience either as a witness or a participant.

Kate Simmons

07-15-2010, 11:53 AM

Society as a whole will never accept someone being who they are really not and trying to get others to believe it. It's more about being comfortable as who you are as your own person.:)

TinaMc

07-15-2010, 12:17 PM

I really hate myself for feeling the way I do, but it does sometimes seem a bit wrong to me. I was actually thinking about this today. I have come a long way in terms of self acceptance but there's this niggling doubt that I'm "not doing life properly" or something along those lines. I've only very recently accepted this unusual side of me and I feel heaps better within myself for doing that, but the old self doubt creeps in every now and then. The strange thing is I do appreciate diversity and believe in each to their own, always have, so I can't really pinpoint where these feelings originate...

Oh well, I'm over it now, might go try to master my make up technique :battingeyelashes:

mklinden2010

07-15-2010, 12:30 PM

Society as a whole will never accept someone being who they are really not and trying to get others to believe it. It's more about being comfortable as who you are as your own person.:)

D,

The question is not about what society accepts; it's about what you accept, or, not...

Society as a whole, is a hole. Things can be argued over that huge open space forever and there will probably always be somebody who will take a contrary view to everyone else. That may be good, that may be bad. The point is, unanimity is so rare a thing as to be an unreasonable goal.

The current question is not meant as a poll of everyone else, it's meant as a simple, "How do YOU feel about crossdressing?" question.

I'm just asking each crossdresser reading these words to think about how THEY feel about crossdressing - their own, and, perhaps the crossdressing of others.

Are you personally good with crossdressing, ashamed of crossdressing, confused about crossdressing, or, what?

kimdl93

07-15-2010, 12:37 PM

Good question. I like to pride myself in being open minded, but if I really am honest with myself, despite an understanding spouse, I have to admit that I'm not really "OK" with myself sufficiently to be "out" in the fullest sense. I guess I have reached a point where I am comfortable within narrow parameters... in my own home, but without acknowledging this to my kids or extended family.

suzy1

07-15-2010, 12:39 PM

carrie-ann

07-15-2010, 01:31 PM

Being 247 for over a year now. I get all streams. I would say about 75% of the pros I meet don't care one way or the other. I'm a truck driver I go all over the U.S. I have only had one person that really was upset to tje point tjat said I should be dead. I confronted him head on about his comments. Most people don't care they say ,but they don't want to see it. In the end It's about your feelings. If your married It's about all.of you.

mklinden2010

07-15-2010, 01:34 PM

Why do some here think crossdressing is wrong? Because society says it is. And they listen and believe it.
In reality, anything we do, as long as it does not hurt anyone, can not be wrong can it?
As for me, I’m an atheist so no problems with religious beliefs. I am also a realist and free thinker so I am not affected by society. So I have never had a problem with crossdressing. The result, a guilt free happy life.
CDing is not wrong; it’s an extra pleasure in life that we have been gifted with. Let’s enjoy it.

Have fun, SUZY

S,

Your opening declaration is primarily about other people; it's not entirely about how you feel about yourself and crossdressing around you - though you seem to offer that that particular group is, "hung up."

As far as that goes, I can attest that you seem correct to that extent: some people do seem to get programmed into, "How the world is, should be, or ought to be..." and they struggle with how their lives are different from, "is, should, or, ought."

It is difficult, however, to argue that because what you do doesn't seem to be doing any harm, that it isn't...

CDing, in your view is an "extra" in life, a plus, a pleasure to be enjoyed where and how it is..

Thanks for that.

It will be interesting to see what other crossdresser's think of their own crossdressing - as well as yours and mine.

Starling

07-15-2010, 02:05 PM

From an early age I accepted the idea of CD and TS, but until a few years ago, I was embarrassed when I encountered crossdressers in public. I'm sure now that I was ashamed for them, because I was ashamed of me. I feared that if I was friendly to them I would be outed, myself.

Since I learned to accept myself, thanks to the wonderful community here, I have a new outlook on how I feel about others too, and am able to engage a CD person like anyone else. It's the Golden Rule, y'know.

For some reason, I never had a problem with TS men or women (whose status I was aware of). Something to discuss with my shrink.

:heehee: Lallie

Nicole Erin

07-15-2010, 02:14 PM

CD'ing is not something I find socailly acceptable. I will not tolerate it. I command each CD/TS to stop tranny'ing right now!

OK onto seriousness - how a TG gonna have a problem with another TG? OK granted some of them have horrid taste in clothing, like crap their crazy ol granny would not wear cause it is so out of date but come on... A CD/TS can't really judge. The closet ones ain't got room to talk and the "out" ones surely know what everyone done been thru.

My stance - I don't give two poopily doopilies if someone wants to wear clothes of the opposite gender. If I did have a problem, I would lay naked in front of the entrance of the local TG group holding a sign that said "Down with pants!"

Bridget1

07-15-2010, 02:54 PM

Honestly, I think everyone has the right to choose their sexuality, fetishes, kinks in their personality etc etc... As long as we exist as a human race somebody will share your fetish, or sexual preferences. Of course its acceptable, the USA is a free country, so is the UK and many other places across the world!

Dont you think the world would be a much better place if Crossdressers, Transgenders, Gay's, Lesbians, Black People, White People, Asian People, Jews, Muslims, Sikhs and Christians etc etc etc... acepted each other?

I do.

kayegirl

07-15-2010, 03:26 PM

Is cross dressing socially acceptable to me,, without a doubt YES. Do I worry about what other people might think, well not any more, although it did until fairly recently, but the very positive reactions from the many to whom I have been outed of late has been nothing less than heartening.

joandher

07-15-2010, 04:15 PM

Kaz

07-15-2010, 04:47 PM

You know one of the really great things about being old is that you have seen what has gone before. When I was a bright-eyed teenager, I went to the Kings Road, London... I am a Yorkie, so not my patch!... bought a satin high waisted jacket, big heels, velvet flared "slacks", lots of things on my wrists... and it was great! I also had long hair, played
guitar, et... Was I accepted? By society in general...no! I was one of a new wave of youth who were stretching boundaries... we kicked ass and it was good!

So now... I am worried about wanting to dress in feminine clothing? That was 30+ years ago... now, yeah I am, the world has moved on...but... I am also older, and my mindset has changed. The younger kids are less bothered about all this...

But... there is a difference between adopting "fashion" and wanting to "feel" or "pass" as female... and then we are into the great "assemblage" of CD...

So.. to the question... NO... I welcome it and embrace it with open arms. I... may feel uncomfortable about expressing things, but I embrace everyone else doing it! And when it becomes a norm... I will be happy... should I help the vanguard and get involved... is something I am struggling with...

Kaz xx

sissystephanie

07-15-2010, 04:49 PM

I am a Crossdresser! I know it and I accept it. In fact, I really like putting on panties, bra, a skirt and top and going out in public. I do it virtually every day!! One might notice that I did not say anything about fixing my wig or getting my makeup on! That is because I no longer do either of those things. My late wife did both of the for me when she was alive. She passed away 5 years ago, and since then I have become a man who wears woman's clothing frequently. My family knows, and doesn't care so long as I don't dress around them!

What I choose to wear is my business, not anybody else's. What other people choose to wear is their business! I do not like to see CD's dressed as Drag Queens, or such. It hurts the image of all of us who are CD's. But it is their business what they wear, not mine!

BTW, I have been a Crossdresser for approximastely 70+ years so I do have some experience!

ReineD

07-15-2010, 04:57 PM

I'm like you. I don't get why people get upset with homosexuality, transsexuality, and crossdressing. Or why some members of religious groups don't like other religions. Or why some members of ethnic groups don't like other races or nationalities. Or why there should be a bias against mental illnesses, addictions, or compulsions, as long as they are under control. I do understand why the political left doesn't like the political right's ideals though. :D

It doesn't mean I don't pigeon-hole people when I meet them. I'm constantly making up stories about people and where they fit, usually based on how they look, lol, and I'm sometimes surprised when who they are doesn't match my preconceived ideas. But this is not a judgment or a put down. Just me making sense of my world. :)

Fab Karen

07-15-2010, 05:03 PM

... Where as when you finally go out into the real world, You're really just being yourself and happen to be dressed the way you want. And every time that happens and the world doesn't come crumbling down is good for the crossdressers and good for those who don't normally experience us.
Which is at least 99.999 percent of the time. Life is for living.

Sarah Doepner

07-15-2010, 05:08 PM

I'm fine with it.

I generally ignore how other people are dressed, attempting to focus on their behavior, and would like them to do the same. I don't see a problem with my crossdressing nor with others wearing clothing normally associated with the other gender. It might be nice if that attitude were more common or even (dare I say it?), encouraged.

FindingMe

07-15-2010, 05:11 PM

I don't really think it's too much about being social acceptable, I mean I've been known to deliberately flirt or show of my feminine side, just to embarrass some of the more conservative acquaintances I've made.

But ultimately I'm not a very outgoing person, and keep myself out of the limelight, so I wouldn't go out in public cross dressed, but sitting around in public with my hair plated and pink finger nails, doesn't bother me at all.

Alice B

07-15-2010, 05:20 PM

I'm fine with it. After all - I'm a cross dresser. If I wasn't fine with it I'd be a total mess. :eek::heehee:

Lexine

07-15-2010, 07:02 PM

When I pursued CDing, I knew exactly what it was to me and what it would be for other people. I generally don't pursue something without first thinking of how others would see it as, and I approach it in a manner where I can figure out how I'd explain why I decided to do what I do to people who are close to me.

So in a manner of speaking, the answer is "Yes!"

mklinden2010

07-15-2010, 07:24 PM

I don't think that cross dressers/transgendered people really have a choice, -i.e. of being one of the majority ( of so called normal ) people,from what I have researched c/ders are born that way, and I for one feel very privileged to be one, and able to see,and experience both sides of the coin as and when I feel like it, I think life would be very dull if I couldn't dress, how and when I like

:hugs:

J-JAY

J-Jay,

I am reminded, in the "no choice" part here, that everyone is born with "potential" to do and be many things, not necessarily just one thing.

There may be some people who are born CD, but that's hard to imagine. More likely to CD..., I suppose that's possible. In general, however, I think the "potential" notion, to do and be anything, gets one the farthest with explaining CDing. Most of us have some experience with CDing early in life, and it stays with us after that and we seem to "add" meaning to it as we go along.

Today's comments in various posts allude to it beginning young, before any thought of sex at all - of any sort, yet after the onset of puberty the behavior is usually incorporated into our sex lives... Later that "motivation" dims and "a side" of our being more fully develops that we hadn't really thought to create, it just seems to follow from the experiences we've collected.

About that time the major stresses in our CDing/normal lives seem to occur - this need to be "who we have become" butts up against the knowledge that, "This is not normal." It takes a bit of knowledge to realize that normal is a statistical norm, not a person named Norm, and that everyone, you and I included, fall somewhere on the bell curve on any graph of any activity.

A lot of us seem to get past this stress by accepting ourselves as whatever we are - and then continuing with life with less stress, worry, or, concern about CDing, or, for that matter, normality for ourselves or anyone else. Acceptance of self very often leads to acceptance of others. Live and let live.

I have a friend who fishes in the morning before going to work, fishes in the evening after work, and spends most his weekends fishing somewhere.

He wife says, "Yeah, that's what he does."

It's normal for him.

Most of the rest of us find all that a bit fishy...

Neither he nor she cares what we think, however.

And, that's OK, isn't it?

Rachel Morley

07-15-2010, 07:27 PM

The current question is not meant as a poll of everyone else, it's meant as a simple, "How do YOU feel about crossdressing?" question.

Well, as a CDer myself, one who is not in the closet, and one who has a supportive and encouraging wife, I'm pretty much bound to say I love crossdressing! In the world I live in (mine) crossdressing is totally socially acceptable ... the problems start when I venture out of my private world (my house) and interact with "people in other worlds" :)

suchacutie

07-15-2010, 09:01 PM

I guess I look at this from a very pragmatic perspective. What clothes one wears is clearly not an issue. Makeup...a lot of men wear makeup. So what does it come down to?

It is the presentation of another perspective that we have inside of us. How can it be inherently bad to present that perspective to the world? I just don't see the problem. In fact, I see it as an asset. We have a perspective that potential mates can not get from a single-gendered male.

So my question becomes, "why isn't society seeing us for the incredibly insightful people we are?"

tina

Shananigans

07-16-2010, 01:45 AM

leggylisa

07-16-2010, 01:53 AM

It's a sad world isn't it that putting on some kind of clothing that is regarded as being women's can make you worry for your safety. I demand women all go back to wearing dresses, they are prettier anyway!

Mea GG

07-16-2010, 02:08 AM

I have been wondering how many people on these forums actually think crossdressing is socially acceptable - to themselves?

So, I'm fine being who I am and I'm fine with most other people crossdressing, or, having tatoos, or, being in different political parties. As long as they make no more noise, spill as little or less of their drinks, and, give others the space to be who they are... I really don't pay much attention.

So, how many people reading these words are fine with crossdressing, their crossdressing, and, other people crossdressing?

It is, "OK" to you, as you read this, or, does CDing still seem somehow "wrong" to you?

Well, it is other people for me and I am totally OK with it.
The only thing that is wrong to me is being unkind or hurtful to others in whatever form that might be.

I like the differences in people. Wouldn't it be awful boring if everyone were all the same?

KELLYANN

07-16-2010, 03:50 AM

Rachel05

07-16-2010, 04:46 AM

It took me many years to come to terms with the fact that I was what I was and that is a crossdresser, going back then I didn't have groups like this so my crossdressing was in isolation, only me and my strange head

But now I am perfectly fine with my crossdressing, I am who I am and am really happy with it and comfortable with me and am perfectly happy with others and yes I find crossdressing socially acceptable to me and am happy to give compliments to other girls on here when they post pictures, and if I saw one of our girls in the street, would be happy to pass a nice hello

I have found that this acceptance with me has made me more acceptable of others in general

Anneliese

07-16-2010, 05:56 AM

I accept any and all.

Truthfully, the only intolerable people are religious hypocrites who pretend to be all high and mighty and believe they KNOW what's out there. The pack mentality is something I will never understand or identify with.

Outcasts, weirdos, and proudly unique people are all welcome!

Rachaelb64

07-16-2010, 06:48 AM

My Life's philosophy has always been one of trying to accept people for who they are, not what colour, creed, religion or sexuilty they are.

The problem I feel is a tribal one. If you don't belong to the tribe your viewed as outsider/threat.

To dress in woman's clothes is viewed as anti-tribal, not part of the tribal culture.

But saying that tribal cultures do change, sometimes for the good.

Personally I one those people who feel the World would be a much better place if we all just accepted each other :) :2c:

Alice Torn

07-16-2010, 08:17 AM

A generation ago, it was consicered odd, for a woman to wear pants regularly, but, society soon accepted it, and, now, skirts and dresses are a rare thing on women. Too bad, that the same acceptence, is still not there, for CD men. It is slowly improving. I admit some religious guilt, yet, and paranoid, but, am far more accepting of my desire to dress, than several years ago. I am artistic, and consider it art.

WendyH

07-16-2010, 08:25 AM

Having been raised in a homophobic and transphobic society, I internalized those negative feelings long ago. I have learned to accept myself for who I am and to have more tolerance and sympathy for those different from myself. I have been out and about and done things as Wendy that I once could never have dreamed possible. For all that, there is a tiny voice in my mind that embodies that intolerance that I have largely overcome. I don't know if it will ever go away; I just ignore it the best that I can and try to become still more accepting and tolerant.

Sallee

07-16-2010, 08:32 AM

CDing is not wrong per say but it does not meet the mores of our society. You may get looked at weird but the will probably be the worst of it. I think that is even seldom people just don't care and all our lives are to short to mind.

Proteus

07-16-2010, 05:56 PM

I accept everyone. sad to say sociaty doesn't. gays and lesbiens are widely accepted in this country USA and thats good. the GLBT community is great and alive and well. just seems the "T" girls are on some back shelf. like whe're some freaky side show. WE WILL GET ARE ACCEPTANCE! in time. :2c: KELLYANN

I have that exact same impression. Where I live transsexuals or transgendered people are simply referred to as "transpeople", literally "people from the other side" :eek:. I'm not from the other side of society, thank you very much. Not sure if it's just a condescending piece of political correctness or if there's underlying transfobia, but I don't think I'm even allowed to question it. I don't know if bigender qualifies for the LGBT community, so I guess I'd better keep my mouth shut.

The attitude seems to be that gender is mutually exclusive, going back and forth is not allowed.

Victoria Anne

07-16-2010, 06:20 PM

socially acceptable ? For me yes for society that is another question. I am acceptable of my self and anyone else, if we all would just accept eachother for who we are this would be a much better and stronger world for it by our actions we should be judged.

AllieSF

07-16-2010, 06:25 PM

I accept who I am and what I do in whatever mode that I am presenting. I also believe that others should be free to do the same. That does not mean that I like how they act or look, or that I would associate with them. Since I am a late starter, slow learner and was raised in the Midwest where new and different experiences were few and far between, I had to experience some of these new "things and activities" over the years in different locations, not so much from personal hands-on experience but by watching and seeing others.

Denise Somers

07-16-2010, 08:40 PM

mklinden2010-

Very eloquent and well said. If the busybody world (and the sheep that follow them) spent more time accepting each individual AS IS, as long as that behavior isn't illegal or injurious to others, then the ENTIRE world would be Eden indeed.

Pythos

07-17-2010, 10:08 AM

I may have stated this already, but.

I wish people could just present themselves how they wished, but of course within reason. No exposure of private parts. LOL.

I do wish we could also choose daily what mode we wanted, without facing the possibility of losing our jobs, or being called crazy, and so on and so forth.

For instance, this morning I wish for my job today behind a desk at my flying club, instead of wearing blue jeans and t-shirt, I could instead put on my black disco jeans, long elegant shirt, nice men's ankle boots with 1/2 heel, and some light makeup. Of course I can't. Really no reason though, aside from possibly ruining my career.

That last line should not be a fear faced by anyone just for wearing what they like.

To me crossdressing should be more acceptable than look like and acting like a violent member of society. A look that for some reason is wholly acceptable.

rexy

07-17-2010, 10:28 AM

TGMarla

07-17-2010, 10:31 AM

I have to admit, as comfortable as I am while crossdressed, my social programming from way back still tells me that I'm doing something wrong. I know on an intellectual level that it's NOT wrong, but these blueprints are hard to overcome. It's probably a large part of the reason I usually stay home when I do this, and don't go out anywhere. Once in a while I'll venture out, but for the most part, I don't. And one does not hide, if one does not feel on some level that it's wrong to do this.

That aside, I still love it!

AKAMichelle

07-17-2010, 11:44 AM

In some ways it still seems wrong, but I never let that stop me. See those feelings come from being raised in a Southern Baptist Church all of my life and marrying a woman whose father was a deacon of a Fundamental Independent Baptist Church.

I totally accept myself now. I haven't crossdressed and gone out in public for a year when I finally started back in June. I have some fear now about being out which is quickly disappearing. The fear is there because I haven't gone out in awhile.

Loni

07-17-2010, 01:11 PM

well we will not talk about when i was a kid, (unknowing) but as a general thing i can say i never had a real problem with seeing anyone else cross dressed. and to this day see no problem with it.
but real life is another story.
for some time now women can have a pair of slacks or jean's on and no problem, years (a lot of them) back they could not be seen in public that way.
maybe one day it will not be a problem in the main stream to be a guy in a skirt/dress.
but i think it will be a loooog time for that to come to be.

.

linnea

07-17-2010, 01:29 PM

To me, it is perfectly all right and fine and socially acceptable. To a fairly large (and insensitive and ignorant--I must say) part of US society, it is aberrant and socially unacceptable. I won't let that stop me partly because I have lived long enough as a CD to know that at previous times it was much, much worse. At least now, it is not illegal in many places or grounds for institutionalization.

StephaniAnn

07-17-2010, 01:54 PM

I have that exact same impression. Where I live transsexuals or transgendered people are simply referred to as "transpeople", literally "people from the other side" :eek:. I'm not from the other side of society, thank you very much. Not sure if it's just a condescending piece of political correctness or if there's underlying transfobia, but I don't think I'm even allowed to question it. I don't know if bigender qualifies for the LGBT community, so I guess I'd better keep my mouth shut.

The attitude seems to be that gender is mutually exclusive, going back and forth is not allowed.

More than likely, it's just well-intentioned bad grammar/semantics.
I resemble that remark :)

StephaniAnn

07-17-2010, 02:09 PM

I am all for going out and hitting the town.

HOWEVER...

I know that most people find that it is NOT socially acceptable, or morally acceptable...blah, blah, blah....I live in the Bible Belt. My fear is that Hannah and I would be out on the town and he would be read...then, something would happen where I would fear for our safety.

So, no matter how socially acceptable I find it to be, let's think back to all of the hate crimes committed on the transgendered.

That's enough for me to be extremely careful about it all, which is a shame because it all remains in the closet and our society goes no where in its accepting of CDing.

I mean, where I live, the N-word is still used pretty loosely. It's a shame. I sometimes feel like I live in the 1800s. And, it only keeps Ryan dressing inside, and me pretty nervous about the thought of him going out, especially alone.

There are no places for Tgirls to meet where you are?
I guess those of us who have Sisters groups that regularly meet on weekends in a safe, accepting environment should appreciate what they have.
So far, I've only been involved with groups online but I hope to get something semi-organized where I live (safely....this is a very old-fashioned area and we don't want anyone to lose their jobs or be ridiculed by the small towns they live in).

Personal security is a constitutional freedom and an important issue.....in my state, practically everybody is armed (and I am also very pro-second amendment).
If I had my druthers, all TGs and their better-halves would be licensed to carry some sort of self-defense weapon.

For whatever society (some of it) may presume about cross-dressing, no judge/jury in its right mind should convict a spouse who had to do what it took to defend their spouse.

Rianna Humble

07-17-2010, 03:12 PM

So, how many people reading these words are fine with crossdressing, their crossdressing, and, other people crossdressing?

It is, "OK" to you, as you read this, or, does CDing still seem somehow "wrong" to you?

Cross-dressing certainly seems OK to me. I'm just glad I no longer have to do it since I started to transition. In the months before, I felt physically sick every time I had to cross-dress and pretend to be a man, but I accepted it as a short-term inconvenience.

As far as my feelings about other people cross-dressing are concerned, I cannot imagine why I would think that it was "wrong" in any way shape or form. The only caveat to that is that anyone who only cross-dresses for the purpose of assaulting another, is not in my opinion a true cross-dresser and I feel that such behaviour should be counted as an aggravating factor.

I don't join in with the crowd in condemning another CD who might have offended someone's sensibilities or who is described as being "way over the top" because I do not know what was going on in their life when they behaved in that way.

Kara Connor

07-17-2010, 03:26 PM

Since I am a crossdresser, then yes. Having said that, I do occasionally cringe at media representations of us, or if one of our sisters does something to bring "dishonour" upon us, i.e. perpetuate some of the negative stereotypes. Of course, people are entitled to dress and behave in whatever way makes them happy, within the law, but I hope that most of us try to be ambassadors if we are out, and change peoples' perceptions in a positive way. I know when I was Esprit, a few of us chatted with a group of teenage girls, who had collected outside the hotel, and tried to answer their questions honestly and appropriately. Same thing with staff or members of the public we met whilst out and about. I like to think that our "normality" and style of interaction helped changed their view in a good way, and therefore made CD-ing just a little more socially acceptable to them, and us.

StephaniAnn

07-18-2010, 01:40 PM

Since I am a crossdresser, then yes. Having said that, I do occasionally cringe at media representations of us, or if one of our sisters does something to bring "dishonour" upon us, i.e. perpetuate some of the negative stereotypes.

Don't get mad at me for shortening the message, please! (I've been attacked for doing that to people's posts in the past on other forums).
I'm only doing it before an admin does it. :)

I'm trying not to be nitpicky but I'd like a clear definition of what brings dishonour. What is the general consensus for what constitutes dishonorable behavior?

A bit of tasteful, not vulgar, sexy clothing seems fine to me. FABs do it (age appropriate and generally fit-appropriate) so I don't see that as dishonorable.
Of course we may all have our own ideas of what is tasteful versus what is vulgar, that's just personal opinion I guess.

I'll be honest, I think (unless one is at the beach), daisy dukes are fine on anyone but I think a FAB showing a lot of @ss cheek (as well as a TG) is closer to being risque and it's inappropriate for public. Might be ok for a calendar girl photo-shoot.

Can you give me examples of what most agree is dishonorable behavior? I don't think people should judge each other but I'm also aware that some things are just flat inappropriate in certain settings.

Jaclyn NM

07-18-2010, 02:23 PM

BRANDYJ

07-18-2010, 02:39 PM

Females crossdress all of the time and it isn't an issue, so why is it for us. I just don't understand this double standard. Why can females wear any type of male clothing with no repercussions, and yet we are forbidden by society to wear any female clothing? Anyways, I am perfectly fine with crossdressing in public, and have no objections what so ever. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, or vice versa!

Simple answer is that females can dress in styles that appear similar to male clothing or even wear some clothes designed for a male. But if she dresses to look as much like a guy as she can, including men's style haircuts etc., she would get the same stares, disapproval and general dislike from others as a man that does not pass well. Society is not ready for gender bending. I don't consider a woman to be a cross dresser unless she is doing all she can to look and act like a male.

It is not acceptable to me for a man to wear a dress, bra etc, and perhaps have a stache or beard. He is the type that puts most people off about cross dressing. And like everything else in life, there is a time and a place for everything.

I'm not ready for the laughing, humiliation, stares jokes, and ridicule that most of our society will deal out if I was to wear female clothes any place I wanted to. If I was 95% + passable and believable, then it might be a different story for me. Right or wrong, agree or not agree with me, but I do care what others think of me. I do not wish to cause scenes or make anyone around me uncomfortable. So if I was to throw caution to the wind, all these things could happen. So for me, no cross dressing in public is NOT acceptable behavior.

StephaniAnn

07-18-2010, 09:06 PM

Simple answer is that females can dress in styles that appear similar to male clothing or even wear some clothes designed for a male. But if she dresses to look as much like a guy as she can, including men's style haircuts etc., she would get the same stares, disapproval and general dislike from others as a man that does not pass well. Society is not ready for gender bending. I don't consider a woman to be a cross dresser unless she is doing all she can to look and act like a male.

Your response is transparent, I think everyone can respect that, I know I do.
But it is unfair that you cannot express yourself as you would like without unfavorable reactions from others.

I've wondered what motivates the reactions.
A macho-presenting female does not usually get giggled at (though they do get disapproving stares, sometimes) yet for feminine-presenting males, the reaction is often laughter and not being taken seriously.

I know this is going to come off as offensive to some but sometimes a cold analysis is just that....it's cold... but it's reality.
So here goes:

Citing evolution, generally the male species is the larger, more dominant gender. (*generally*, not always)

So, when a woman dresses as a man, it can sometimes be perceived as "cute" to a degree, to society, generally.
If the macho presentation is way "too much", society will usually disapprove. It's possible that society presumes that the female is trying to "prove something" (they don't understand that it's an external expression that is naturally rooted internally).

When it's the reverse (again citing evolution- the male generally being the larger, more dominant species- "the leader"), society will not always take it seriously because it's viewed as "stepping down" to a slightly less physically evolved organism (probably they equate that with a king dressing as a peasant and living among the common folk).

Sorry to be so wordy here.
Anyway, this is my best guess as to why society's response to T-ladies is different from society's response to T-gentlemen.

And this is what happens when people simply react before attempting to analyze and try to understand what motivates another person's behavior (in this case, wardrobe choices).

Nicole Brown

07-18-2010, 09:50 PM

Well, I for one have been dressing in the clothing of the opposite sex for most if not all of my life. I see nothing wrong with this and don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone for any reason. I go out in public all of the time and extremely rarely have anything said to me. Oh sure, I get the occasional glance or the 'what the hell' stare, but I no longer care about what others think.

I consider myself lucky to live in a time where acceptance is slowly coming into being and the laws are finally catching up with the rights of individuals to live their lives as they choose to. I go out fully dressed in totally feminine attire with full makeup and long wavy hair all of the time and just enjoy being myself. I find that today, most people are either too involved with themselves or just too busy to even notice me. If someone is insensitive enough to make a rude comment I generally tend to ignore it and just feel sorry for that person.

True I live in the northeast and alternative lifestyles are more readily accepted here then in other parts of the country. Still, I look forward to the day when I can go anywhere in this country and not have to worry about the actions of others. I truly hope to live that long...

StephaniAnn

07-19-2010, 12:12 AM

. I find that today, most people are either too involved with themselves or just too busy to even notice me.

Bingo! This is how it usually is. Most people are thinking about themselves (and worried how THEY look) or too caught up in minding their own business to notice.
There are the few who go out, actively trying to stir up s#it with others in public but they're few and far between.

Good point, Nicole

Shananigans

07-19-2010, 01:50 AM

There are no places for Tgirls to meet where you are?
I guess those of us who have Sisters groups that regularly meet on weekends in a safe, accepting environment should appreciate what they have.
So far, I've only been involved with groups online but I hope to get something semi-organized where I live (safely....this is a very old-fashioned area and we don't want anyone to lose their jobs or be ridiculed by the small towns they live in).

Personal security is a constitutional freedom and an important issue.....in my state, practically everybody is armed (and I am also very pro-second amendment).
If I had my druthers, all TGs and their better-halves would be licensed to carry some sort of self-defense weapon.

For whatever society (some of it) may presume about cross-dressing, no judge/jury in its right mind should convict a spouse who had to do what it took to defend their spouse.

Sadly, no. The gay bars around here are also fairly sketch. Hannah doesn't have a whole lot of stuff yet to really pass flawlessly. (Mainly, there's a wig problem. The current wig doesn't match her eyebrows and it got kind of torn up amidst our shenanigans). So, yeah, it's apparently a wig...

I am a good shot, but no concealed weapon license. Haha. (P.S. my dad is a redneck). Anyway, yeah, and the place where Hannah lives and I visit is a fairly rough place. It might just be my own paranoia, but I'd still rather be safe than sorry.

Save the blatant outings for New Orleans haha where the men look better than women. Great town. God, I want to move there soooo bad. (Before it sinks, of course).

Marlena-4now

07-19-2010, 01:56 AM

"
So, how many people reading these words are fine with crossdressing, their crossdressing, and, other people crossdressing?

It is, "OK" to you, as you read this, or, does CDing still seem somehow "wrong" to you?

In general I'm fine with crossdressing. As long as the human race has been around some of us humans have crossdressed. In it self it does no harm and it adds diversity and a unique viewpoint to society. In fact, I find it endlessly fasinating how some men and women can so successfully and convincingly cross the "gender frontier". It does, however, stress some people out to be around us. But i guess those people need to get over it and chill out. Intolerance of diversity is never a good thing. I just can't tolerate intollerance !
I'm totally fine with other people crossdressing. The more the merrier.I wish more people would give it a try- "Try it, you'll like it !" I would never disrespect someone because they crossdress.
The question of my own crossdressing is a bit stickier. I know I should give myself a break and be totally OK with it but I still can not truthfully say I'm proud of the fact I have a compulsion at times to wear women's clothes and try to be as feminine as I am able. I mean I can't really even figure out why I need this. And deep down I still feel I'm not quite the man I dreamed I'd be when I was a kid. You know, the heroic male. I think the fact I am a crossdresser does still lower my self esteem some. I'm working on it though.

mklinden2010

07-19-2010, 10:24 AM

In general I'm fine with crossdressing. As long as the human race has been around some of us humans have crossdressed.... (snipped)

The question of my own crossdressing is a bit stickier. I know I should give myself a break and be totally OK with it but I still can not truthfully say I'm proud of the fact I have a compulsion at times to wear women's clothes and try to be as feminine as I am able. I mean I can't really even figure out why I need this. And deep down I still feel I'm not quite the man I dreamed I'd be when I was a kid. You know, the heroic male. I think the fact I am a crossdresser does still lower my self esteem some. I'm working on it though.

Great response!

And, that's the thing (that self doubt, self guilt, self disappointment, and/or, self confidence, personal pride, high self esteem) that prompted my original question..

If you crossdress, are you OK with yourself - and/or other crossdressers crossdressing?

"Society" and "other people" aside, why are you, or, are you not, OK with YOURSELF - and perhaps others who do what YOU do?

Again, the question is not about "society" or "other people," just YOU.

Rianna Humble

07-19-2010, 12:25 PM

It took me years to accept myself, only then did I become OK with my cross-dressing. If I'm ok with me doing it, I would be a hypocrite not to be OK with the idea of others doing it.

Some talk about certain CD's "giving us a bad name" whatever that means, but I try not to judge even if I see someone that I consider to be dressed badly because I don't know what that person is going through.

Sandra Dunn

07-19-2010, 05:27 PM

I'm fine with it, it should be age approbiate. There are cultures out there where it is normal for men to wear skirts. I am a little bit criticle when it is sloppy dressing for anyone no matter what they wear. Try and look half way decent.

HUGS Sandra Dunn

StephaniAnn

07-21-2010, 01:50 AM

Sadly, no. The gay bars around here are also fairly sketch. Hannah doesn't have a whole lot of stuff yet to really pass flawlessly. (Mainly, there's a wig problem. The current wig doesn't match her eyebrows and it got kind of torn up amidst our shenanigans). So, yeah, it's apparently a wig...

I am a good shot, but no concealed weapon license. Haha. (P.S. my dad is a redneck). Anyway, yeah, and the place where Hannah lives and I visit is a fairly rough place. It might just be my own paranoia, but I'd still rather be safe than sorry.

Save the blatant outings for New Orleans haha where the men look better than women. Great town. God, I want to move there soooo bad. (Before it sinks, of course).

Yeeha! Girls with guns. :)
Redneck is good! As Foxworthy says "you might be a redneck if your front porch caves in and kills 12 dogs" :D

I do agree better safe than sorry. Always best to know what kind of environment you're going to before deciding!

But I also think it's just a good idea for any woman (TG/GG/etc) to carry some kind of self-protection. I don't mean the rubber kind (necessarily) either. :D
Tazer (stronger than a stun gun) and/or pepper spray (always be upwind from the attacker of course).

Pit bull is good, too! But you can't take it into a bar. Not a good idea to get it drunk either.

StephaniAnn

07-21-2010, 01:55 AM

I mean I can't really even figure out why I need this. And deep down I still feel I'm not quite the man I dreamed I'd be when I was a kid. You know, the heroic male. I think the fact I am a crossdresser does still lower my self esteem some. I'm working on it though.

Now that's something I don't understand. Getting dressed up should boost ANYone's self esteem. Tuxedos and 3 piece suits are just plain boring, that's the bottom line.

It took me years to accept myself, only then did I become OK with my cross-dressing. If I'm ok with me doing it, I would be a hypocrite not to be OK with the idea of others doing it.

Some talk about certain CD's "giving us a bad name" whatever that means, but I try not to judge even if I see someone that I consider to be dressed badly because I don't know what that person is going through.

I think the same way. If a TG wants to wear short mini-skirts, that's fine with me.
Now it's unrealistic to not expect to perhaps be hit on and drooled over (especially with sexy stockings) with that sort of outfit but GGs in mini skirts also know to expect that reaction when dressing that way, too.
:)

Thongs are inappropriate in public (just my opinion) but it applies to everyone.

KeiraC

07-21-2010, 05:01 AM

I would have say it depends. Sorry if this seems shallow. I've been CDing as long as I can remember but never embraced it until very recently. Awhile ago, I saw a transgered girl at my college and she made me uncomfortable. CDing is a taboo but I think the amount that someone can think for themself can predict how likely they are to accept crossdressing.

So socially acceptable to me? I think there are two goals or reasons to CD. The first one I think is to do it just to do it. To feel happy and/or fullfilled. I accpet that unconditionally. The other reason is to get better at it. I think an eventual goal of CDing is to pass and is only socially accpetable or alright to go out into society dressed up, to me if they have reached that point. Please let me explain myself

I really like the adjective used in the original post. If a girl walks through the mall wearing a giant fluffy hat with a huge dress that has a ten foot train that is very much, noisy. When people see a CD that doesn't pass they don't know what to think. Natrual thought is rejection and leads to discomfort. Finally, CDing is absolutely acceptable but dressing up in public is only acceptable if they've worked at it hard enough to pass.

~Trudy~

07-21-2010, 10:29 AM

OK, so, I'm late in jumping in and I'm sorry I haven't read everybody's responses. Those of you who I've read I think are marvelous. I just have two things to say (aside from the fact that, MK, I really enjoyed your original post)

... the Internet had caught on and it took like five seconds to find a "CD Support Group" meeting to go to. Ahhhh, people!

I was reading an article in Wired about why AA works, and saw the connection to my experience here at CD.com. I'm still surprised at how this forum has helped legitimize my feeling that it's OK for me to cross dress. The article pointed out how AA works in large part simply because of the effect the group has on embracing an outlook. Sobriety for them, cross dressing for me.

Now, though ...

...
It is, "OK" to you, as you read this, or, does CDing still seem somehow "wrong" to you?

Yes, but only because of the reactions I get from strangers. Reactions I get from friends makes it seem totally "right", and there's the point of the group again. How much we embrace the general public as our "group" can determine how much we let them determine who we think we are. My friend once said "the instrument has not been invented that is sensitive enough to detect how much I care what people think of me", and his shabby clothes show it. I think that we all dress for ourselves, and for some of us, for show. We "show-ers" who really care what people think of us have a bit of a paradox, knowing that the vast majority of the general public will view us negatively. When it works, it's elating. When it fails, it's depressing.

Which brings me to my third point (which, I know, I wasn't supposed to have): People who are offended by cross-dressing are offended because the covering doesn't match the naked body inside. Who do these people think they are, having such a strong opinion about my sexual equipment? And those who actually say something are actually talking about my genitalia! The NERVE! :eek:

StephaniAnn

07-21-2010, 10:14 PM

Which brings me to my third point (which, I know, I wasn't supposed to have): People who are offended by cross-dressing are offended because the covering doesn't match the naked body inside. Who do these people think they are, having such a strong opinion about my sexual equipment? And those who actually say something are actually talking about my genitalia! The NERVE! :eek:

Very good question. But it also makes you wonder why people simply must know which gender a person of undeterminable gender is. Other than just the fact that people are determined to solve any mystery they encounter (ex: everyone wanted to know what KISS looked like under their makeup in the 70s, lol).

I think there are several reasons many unconsciously expect everyone in public to "match" their natal gender. Also, everyone (of each gender) is socialized to treat females one way and males another. Body language and other subtleties can change depending on which gender we are interacting with or even approaching.
This socialization happens from a very early age, although sometimes it is a subconscious conditioning.

So we have these preconceived ideas (even the most liberal and open-minded of people) about how we will interact with someone based upon their gender (and to a lesser extent, age).

Some of those preconceived ideas are valid!! For example: I would NEVER yank a woman's chain the way I do male friends'.
Most females simply don't take kindly nor feel comfortable with that sort of joking or teasing.

Anyway, the point is that human beings aren't terribly flexible when it comes to gender issues. Socially, it evolves pretty slowly.

AND, of course there is the issue of attraction. The majority of the population is not (naturally) bisexual or homosexual. So when most straight guys see "a skirt", there is the hope of the possibility of chasing said skirt.
Uhhh, CDing throws a bit of a monkey wrench into that um, "automatic reflex", causing skirt chaser to "look (and pause) before he leaps". ;)

mklinden2010

07-21-2010, 10:49 PM

Very good question. But it also makes you wonder why people simply must know which gender a person of undeterminable gender is. Other than just the fact that people are determined to solve any mystery they encounter (ex: everyone wanted to know what KISS looked like under their makeup in the 70s, lol).

I think there are several reasons many unconsciously expect everyone in public to "match" their natal gender. Also, everyone (of each gender) is socialized to treat females one way and males another. Body language and other subtleties can change depending on which gender we are interacting with or even approaching.
This socialization happens from a very early age, although sometimes it is a subconscious conditioning.

So we have these preconceived ideas (even the most liberal and open-minded of people) about how we will interact with someone based upon their gender (and to a lesser extent, age).

Some of those preconceived ideas are valid!! For example: I would NEVER yank a woman's chain the way I do male friends'.
Most females simply don't take kindly nor feel comfortable with that sort of joking or teasing.

Anyway, the point is that human beings aren't terribly flexible when it comes to gender issues. Socially, it evolves pretty slowly.

AND, of course there is the issue of attraction. The majority of the population is not (naturally) bisexual or homosexual. So when most straight guys see "a skirt", there is the hope of the possibility of chasing said skirt.
Uhhh, CDing throws a bit of a monkey wrench into that um, "automatic reflex", causing skirt chaser to "look (and pause) before he leaps". ;)

S,

Well, you have some ideas there...

The gender issue is a binary thing and it "should" be simple enough to determine so that things can move on to other matters. Nobody likes doing extra work when they'd prefer "A" or "B" instead of having to refigure everything all the time.

The subconscious conditioning you mention is just that, conditioning that penetrates all the way to the subconscious. We've almost all been taught about germs and react when the fry cook sneezes on our BLT. Three hundred years ago, few would have noticed anything amiss, miss.

Preconceived notions, as a term, is a misnomer. It's not preconceived if it previously programmed by social and educational conditioning and nothing else. There seems, in fact, to be no "else." Human being actually seem to know very little about anything, actually - not even how to go about having sex or where babies come from. You live, you learn, you practice, you get a clue. Along the way, your blank slate get scribbled on by everybody on the planet. One day, you have to start reading it and making sense of what's written there, and what you see, hear, feel, taste, smell, recall....

The point is, human being are remarkably flexible when it comes to just about everything. They have to be just to figure out what century they live in, what language to speak, where they parked the car..

The majority of the population would "naturally" have sex with anything that came to mind, or, hand - and they do. But, again, they are, by others, discouraged from some things and pushed towards others. But, sex and "handiness" aren't unique to humans - witness cows and horses humping whatever cow or horse comes by, male geese doing the same thing, camels in zoos getting friendly with fire hydrants, dogs loving that fabric on your leg... Get over it, there's "natural" drives - and where you wind up may depend on who's standing around when you both get in the mood.

And, yes, there is attraction with clothes - and many women work it. Some don't, and it makes you wonder.... I work with enough scantily clad young ladies that I often think, "Man, I bet she'd look great in a dress!" Clothes can create all sorts of illusions, which can be a saving grace for those not perfectly endowed, and a great thing to announce, "game on" because they suited up to play.

But, I digress...

Is crossdressing, by yourself and others, fine with you?

NathalieX66

07-21-2010, 10:52 PM

....applies to apes too.

sometimes_miss

07-22-2010, 12:28 AM

MK, I'm not exactly sure why you posted the question. Like any other generally 'forbidden' activity, you will have a bell curve of opinions about it being acceptable or not. Some are o.k., some are indifferent, some hate it. I'm fine with who I am, but I know very well that there are a lot of so called 'normal' folks out there that would just as soon see me dead rather than interact with me. Now then:

I accept everyone. sad to say society doesn't. gays and lesbians are widely accepted in this country
Uh, no. They're tolerated. Despite the indifference displayed in some major urban areas, most of the population doesn't like homosexuality. Don't believe me? Check out all the backlash against homosexual marriage laws.

Females crossdress all of the time and it isn't an issue, so why is it for us.
Well, they don't do it all the time. For most women, the extent of their crossdressing is putting on a guy's oxford shirt as a robe as she romps off to the bathroom after a night at his place. The rest of the so called ftm crossdressing is simply women who are wearing clothing that is specifically tailored for them, in woman's sizes, of types that was previously commonly worn only by men about a century ago. Only very rarely (if ever) do we see any straight women wearing mens jockey shorts, men's shoes, or other men's attire (you usually can tell by which side they button/zipper up, well, most of the time anyway). Even jeans that women wear are 99.9% of the time only those that have been designed to be worn by the female form; our bodies shapes are different, until you get to the point where the person is a real porker. The normal approximate 70% waist/hip ratio female body cannot fit well into a standard male pair of trousers or shorts. Sure, she can get them on, but they'll usually fall off without a belt, and will never fit correctly.

As for why it acceptable for women to don men's clothes and not the opposite, well, there are many threads addressing this concept, but they are locked, so you'll have to do a search because they will not be anywhere near the top of the thread list.

ReineD

07-22-2010, 02:15 AM

~Trudy~

07-22-2010, 01:37 PM

AND, of course there is the issue of attraction. The majority of the population is not (naturally) bisexual or homosexual. So when most straight guys see "a skirt", there is the hope of the possibility of chasing said skirt.
Uhhh, CDing throws a bit of a monkey wrench into that um, "automatic reflex", causing skirt chaser to "look (and pause) before he leaps". ;)

and the weaker of them, having been attracted to the looks of the CD'er think "OMG I'm GAY!!!!", when their brain registers that we are actually dudes. But we know, and they should too, that it isn't the dudedness that they find attractive, so there is nothing gay about it. And since we (I assume) aren't trying to have sex with them, they should be able to totally relax.

Always, though, every man's subconscious is on the prowl, even if he's in a happy marriage. Reproduction is hard-wired, and we can't do anything about that, so I guess I oughta cut those out-freakers some slack.

It's no secret that we're messing with the formula, so the dissonance really should not surprise us. Unless, of course, we're trying to be witty.

Phoebe Reece

07-22-2010, 03:33 PM

To quote Ru Paul: "If you can't love yourself, how are you going to love somebody else?"

Yes, I believe crossdressing is socially acceptable. However, in the real world I know some people that do not find it to be socially acceptable, so I am not "out" to everyone I know.

Laura Renee

07-22-2010, 04:01 PM

Is crossdressing socially acceptable to me? Yes.
Although it may be/is not socially acceptable to a large portion of society, I feel as long as I present myself in an acceptable manner (acceptable to me, that is). I'm not that concerned with what may others think. I'll admit it has taken me a long time to come to this conclusion as it took me a long time to accept my crossdressing and make that first excursion "out and about."
In a nutshell, life is too short to not be able to experience it in a way that makes us happy.

Joanne f

07-22-2010, 04:16 PM

Nope it is definitely not acceptable to me , you will never get me into a dress :eek:

Cait

07-22-2010, 06:13 PM

To me its perfectly socially acceptable and I am completely comfortable with it. I honestly don't care how someone else dresses, as long as they are happy dressing that way. I don't see how it is anyone else's business other than the individual.

TxKimberly

07-22-2010, 06:37 PM

I think this is one of the most awesome posts I've read!
"Where's the beer?" ROFL

Debutante

07-22-2010, 06:53 PM

I have worked hard to accept myself as I am... and I have a ways to go. Of course I also worked on accepting, socially and politically, crossdressing and transgenders in the larger society. I am more at ease advocating this in my male self for others. Yet I still feel I supress myself out of fear when with others on the issue... "Coming out to oneself" is often the biggest issue for a CD/TG/TS.... loving onself as one is can be difficult, and this is my work. I have a fully accepting and encouraging wife... I am blessed...

Helen_Highwater

07-22-2010, 07:29 PM

You ask do I find it socially acceptable; answer yes. I don’t feel that what I/we do is wrong or immoral. It causes no-one physical harm; we don’t steal or damage property. It’s not the intention to cause distress to others. So why should it be socially unacceptable.
Quandary for me is I’m a closet dresser. True I’ve ventured out on a few occasions but generally it’s behind closed doors. My issue is whether family and fiends see it that way. Perhaps the question should be, Do you want it to be socially acceptable?

mklinden2010

07-22-2010, 07:36 PM

MK, I'm not exactly sure why you posted the question. Like any other generally 'forbidden' activity, you will have a bell curve of opinions about it being acceptable or not. Some are o.k., some are indifferent, some hate it. I'm fine with who I am, but I know very well that there are a lot of so called 'normal' folks out there that would just as soon see me dead rather than interact with me. Now then...

Sometimes Miss,

Bell curves come in different shapes and sizes. Not all are perfect inverted "u"s.

It seems there are some "all the time" posters on this forum, some "often" posters, some occasional posters, and, tons of readers. For most, it could be a simple thing to answer and thus an easy post to make. I'm not sure if I would weight an, "almost never poster," more heavily than an, "all the time" poster, but it seems a thing to consider.

In any case, depending on how you want to graph the data, I expect the "bell curve" you speak of could be sharply up at one end or the other, but there will probably be no "high acceptance" hill in the middle. It would not surprise me to see some responses that pushed the line below - into negative numbers - at one point or another.

If responses here match what I've seen, "in the wild," there are and will be very few CDers who accepting of themselves, much less others. Putting on a dress doesn't make you a better person if all you do is put on a dress, then hide it again. And, what doesn't make you a better person, probably doesn't improve things for anyone else.

And, that's an interesting thing to prove out. CDing might be more acceptable socially - if CDers were more accepting of themselves.

Society, after all, is us too.

Rianna Humble

07-23-2010, 03:13 AM

I have worked hard to accept myself as I am... and I have a ways to go.
...
"Coming out to oneself" is often the biggest issue for a CD/TG/TS.... loving oneself as one is can be difficult, and this is my work.

I fully understand where you are at - it took me about 45 years to learn to accept myself and I am still trying to learn to love the real me after spending so long disliking the sham that was my old self.

CDing might be more acceptable socially - if CDers were more accepting of themselves.

There's the rub. We've been conditioned for so long that the only "acceptable" gender expression is whatever matches our anatomical gender, that it is very difficult for some of us to accept who we are.

Once I got over that hurdle, I found other people were able to accept me too.