Men activities, do it yourself, sports, etc...

[bas1985]

Maybe it has been discussed already, sorry, I am just new and I would
like to ask something.

How many of you, even living as males, have the feeling of being
"different" from the other men? But not physically? Let me explain.

For example I don't like very much sports, expecially soccer (this is
like a mortal sin here in Italy, probably like a man who does not see,
and is not interested in the Super Bowl in the USA). I am a little
clumsy in the "do it yourself" field: I am somewhat able to use a
drill or a saw, but just able, not much more. I am "forced" to do it,
because I am the only "man" in the house, I live in the countryside
and there are many works for a man to be done... but it is, like a
said, a "I do it because I am forced to do it".

No, not really. Well, it is complex. I would have liked to learn these
'men's activities', but I did not have a father who taught me and it
is very difficult for me to learn them. My mother preferred to send me
to University, I probably was not inclined to physical
activities... so I passed the adolescence on the books.

Well, so the feeling is mixed. On one part I would have liked to learn
better man's activities, use tools, I sometimes admire workers with
welding machines, chainsaws, drills and other powerful (and dangerous)
tools; on one side I would like to be like them, I would like to have
like them the strenght and the ability. On the other hand, year after
year, I realize that probably I never will. Not only I lack the
strength, but also some other thing, maybe some psychological
attitude.

So, how do you relate with the other men when you are a man? Of course
this question does not make sense for some of you who are "woman"
24h/24. But for the others?

I may have some other things to say but in some minutes the kids will
be awake (here it is morning) and I have to stop here.

[RachelHawke]

Not a huge soccer fan nor american football...

But I will admit I do like baseball and really like motorsports. But I'm a tomboy...

[Miley]

watching sports bores me to tears, I would rather watch Opra...and thats bad!... but besides this I can still drive a car like a man....:eek:

[Diane Smith]

I hate organized sports and view motor vehicles only as a way to get around, no interest at all in their style or how they work beyond being able to describe something to the mechanic if it breaks.

On the other hand, I am pretty handy with tools and in the shop, build a lot of things, do professional-grade airbrush and spray painting, know computers inside and out, and am a hobbyist in electronics and amateur radio. I've worked professionally in television and audio production, although that's somewhat gender-neutral.

So I would say my interests run somewhat to the boyish side, but not quite far enough that I'm comfortable fitting in with the guys at the typical neighborhood bar or cookout. On the other hand, I can talk fashion and makeup with the best of the girls (but am not much into cooking or sewing).

We all have many aspects to our personalities, and the stereotype "male" and "female" interests only describe an average trend, but not many specific individuals.

And I kind of like that.

- Diane

[bas1985]

Thanks, for example I saw a thread when some of you did start
cding at a very small age.

I started after gynecomastia developed, at around 13. Before that
nothing... but...

for example I recall vividly that when I was a child I was interested in
knitting (!) and I remember that I asked my grandmother to teach me
how to knit and sew.

and she did! I made a scarf for me when I was a child. very simple,
but it was ok as a start.

I loved cooking, expecially because I was very often alone in the house
and I had to prepare meals for me since I was 7.

You are right, there are different interests. I am a professional computer
developer, but only software... I don't know anything about the hardware,
for me a transistor is a kind of magic. And software, I suppose, is
gender-neutral.

[Kate Simmons]

Everyone has their own particular talent and things they prefer to do. None of it is really gender specific, we are only taught that it is.:)

[Renee_E]

I have learned to do many "manly" things either out of necessity or trying to fit in. I have never felt part of any group of men. Even in the Marine Corps i felt more tolerated than accepted as a male.

[Karinsamatha]

I do not enjoy sports they tend to bore me to tears. I can weld, and fix most things that are mechanical. By training I do aircraft maintenance for a carer. I like vehicles not only from the engineering stand point but from the aesthetic view to. Many people not only me view a car or motorcycle as a fashion accessory. As I am putting my thoughts down I am watching QVC! :devil:
I am learning about cosmetics. :o
Most people have abilitys they are born with. Other abilitys com with practice. I do have some advice start with small jobs, and work up from there as your confadence grows.

[mklinden2010]

You do what you know and what you do changes your life.

I'm probably different from a lot of men because I'm smarter, more energetic, physically able to play a range of sports, and can fix most home or automobile problems easily. I also admire the art and engineering of autos, homes, public parks, the science of electricity and electronics, etc. And, there's much to admire in the art and science of group activity that is inherent in team sports. Nobody builds a pyramid, a hospital, or, neighborhood alone.

I'd be bragging if I didn't have a hell of a lot of competition - guys a lot like me who had fathers and mothers who taught them a number of practical skills, and were then well educated socially and professionally - while being able to be good swimmers, runners, bikers, football players and so forth because they were just well put together and they benefit from some favorable genetics all their lives.

As pointed out, however, most skills and knowledge are not really gender based. Even if they were, men can be mid-wives to a large extent and women can work steel to put up buildings, shape a bike frame, etc. If you think you lack "manly skills" then pick up a book or take a class. If you think you lack womanly skills do the same with, oh, cooking, sewing, or managing a large corporation.

Being competent at a number of things, it's unusual to feel inadequate. Being fortunate in terms of parents and genetics, it's unusual to think in terms of, "can't do." Having done things, and done them well, it's easy to be confident that you can continue to do well, or, adapt and do well doing something else. It's true, nothing succeeds like success.

I've met CDers who were engineers of all stripes, TV station managers, teachers, CPAs, newspaper distributors, cooks, house painters, army types, etc., etc.

If there was one thing that set the happy ones apart from the unhappy ones it was that the happy ones were professionally competent and financially well-off while the unhappy ones were most often poor, lacking well paid job skills, and, all too often, still living at home or in some sort of roommate situation. The happy ones did all that they did and happened to be crossdressers. The unhappy ones crossdressed and didn't do a whole lot of anything else.

The happy ones smiled at problems and started figuring out some way around the problem. The unhappy ones frown, start complaining about society, team sports, mens aggression, and dive into how much more colorful women's clothes are, how gentle women are, etc.

The smart ones hear that and keep smiling, thinking about the Lady Macbeth's and the murderous Medici's of the world.. And, of the Ghandis and Dr. Albert Schweitzer's.

The most impressive TG/TS/CD/GBL I've met have all been good at something besides being who they were as TG/TS, etc. They've been good bankers, good friends to others, good grocers... But, not good worriers or whiners. And, "society," by and large, has valued them not for how they dress or who they drink with, but for what productive role they play in life for others.

It's that "fairness..." That, "Yeah, but they make a great pizza, are a good doctor, really dance well...." that tips the balance from someone being "one of those" to being "one of us - too."

Interesting proposition that being different in terms of sports ability, being handy with tools and so forth has much to do with being TG/TS/CD/etc.

It doesn't. But, maybe it's somehow helpful to some people to think so.

It might be helpful, but it's still a mistaken notion.

[bas1985]

It might be helpful, but it's still a mistaken notion.

thanks for your post, it is inspiring :)

[AKAMichelle]

You will find that many on here adjust very well. Some still play sports with the guys for those still young enough. Many of us have long since quit playing sports regularly because of our age and physical condition.

Every person is different in real life. Not all guys watch or play sports. Not all guys are handy with DIY projects. My father never did any repairs around the house and as far as I know he never dressed.

I think your comments don't apply to us as a group, but you individually. So my only advice to you is like any other relationship, find things which you do have in common and concentrate on those items.

[Sophia]

not huge fan of soccer

but I love basketball , boxing , wrestling
vesicle activity is good & I love to be involve in it
(specially because I want to lose weight)
so I love both watching & being involve

[SheriM]

I like my male self. Good wife, good kids.
I like and will watch most sports except pro baseball and pro basketball - when a 24 year old person complains about making $millions instead of more $millions, it turns me off - that's another discussion.
I am a do it yourselfer and will try most anything.
I love my crossdressing sessions.
I am a lucky guy/girl - even though I wish I could look like and pass as a GG, I do love life as it is.
I wish I could be 21 again and do it all over again.

My only complaint - wish there were a gender switch that I could turn and transform into a pretty 20 something young lady - Not sure but I might also want the switch to work both ways.

SheriM

[Crysten]

Well, look at it this way - at the very least, you won't be stuck in menial, low paying jobs your whole life (like a lot of the guys you mentioned). There's only so much time in your life to master the things you want to master - very few lawyers and docters are auto mechanics on the side. And for good reason - their talents are better spent elsewhere.

But I understand what you mean. Initial social auqwardness led to insecurities in taking part in traditional male activities. Anything we're insecure about (even though we're perfectly capable) we tend not to like - and eventually to avoid, if possible. Same thing goes with me. Although, I have a good career, and I can't say I really regret anything.

Oh yeah, I'm not fond of sports, either. Lol :)

[Joanne f]

I do not really see that liking different sports has a lot to do with it , i do not mix with any males so i may be looking at it a bit wrong but i noticed one night last week when i was sat in a club that i am very different from other males, a bit like Jack Sparrow and the other pirates if you get what i mean:heehee:

[Loni]

pro sports can go broke for all i care. i like to ride a bicycle.(my Dr does the death ride, all five passes) go 4 wheeling. i own more hand tools than most who get paid for a living turning wrenches. as for power tools bigger is better. as it will get the job done easier and only have to buy the tool once.

as for being a mans man...not really. better off called a tomboy.
and these days i would rather be shopping then most any other thing.
time to do my nails as i must get to work. :heehee:


Loni

.

[Maryesther M.]

If all soccer, i.e.'football' were cancelled World-wide tomorrow I wouldn't even notice. American football is something played over there. Not having inherited an eye for a ball I rapidly learned that ball games, e.g. tennis, rugby, hurling &c were for those who had, & I concentrated on non-ball active sports: Rowing, sailing, skiing, swimming &c, none of which are gender-specific.
As for DIY, I've already won the DIY Olympics, in that I've doubled a Tudor house in England in size, using period beams, bricks, tiles, chimneypots &c. &c, and nine years later sold it well to an architect who fell in love with it!
I'm mad about planes, trains, cars &c. as all boys probably are, & I couldn't give tuppence for barbie dolls, sewing, knitting &c., which ARE gender-specific, so I'm the proverbial bloke in a frock !

[Mi$$ Despair]

Sports are well boring to me unless it's UFC LOL

I love carp angling, yes I am a tackle tart for those that know what that means ;)

[bas1985]

Thanks for the answers. It is very useful to have different points of
views, as always, but in these personal cases it is more important
than ever.

I was a somewhat "brilliant" student, but of course that came at a
price: not so much social life (girls? where?, many friends... but no
more) and not so much physical activity (only some swimming, a bit of
strange given my gynecomastia but with the cold water the breasts were
very firm and masculine, the problem was at the beach, in the summer
when they were puffy and pronounced).

So now I tend to be more rapid and secure with a keyboard than with a
drill or a screwdriver, that's it. This does not mean that I am more
"woman" than "man", but that probably, without studying much, going to
work soon, perhaps I would have cared less about these things. Who
knows?

I am a bit insecure now and my former truths begin to crumble.

In a recent thread I read that the answer is in my guts. Hope to
listen to them carefully.

[lacie]

Not a huge pro sports fan but I am definitley into college football and basketball. There's nothing like going tailgating to a Florida Gator game and then experiencing the emotion inside a packed and very loud stadium. I've always been athletic and played soccer all my life. Still play to this day. Although I must admit that soccer is pretty darn boring to watch.

Go Gators!

[NathalieX66]

I like watching soccer & hockey, and baseball on tv once in a while, and even going to a profesional game, but I have found that hanging with the guys or male-bonding thing usually occurs with my musician friends and band people (though the coversation ends up revolving around gigs, ProTools and vintage guitars), but not so much with sports. My dad hates sports and my mom loves sports and she will watch a game on tv, go figure!
Give me a table saw or an egine block to play with, and I am happy:)....send me to a nail salon, and Sephora, and I'm happy there.:battingeyelashes: My basement is my woodshop & laboratory, and my second floor is my beauty salon!
Sh*t, I sound like someone with too many hobbies.

[msginaadoll]

I like sports playing and watching. I love to golf and in past was a competitive runner. I love to bike, and kayak and canoe. Love to paddle surf when I can. I always figured i would probably dress less if I lived in an outdoor paradise like San Diego or Honolulu cause i would be outside and active all the time.

[Crysten]

For the life of me, I can't figure out what the attraction is to chasing balls around a field - or a court, or anywhere else. Seems so - superficial and contrived. I'll take hiking, mountain/rock climbing, surfing, skiing, biking, and even running over chasing a ball around. My wife however loves to chase balls and is in several leagues, both softball and soccer. Hmm...in a different context that would sound bad. :).

[QUOTE] outdoor paradise like San Diego or Honolulu cause i would be outside and active all the time. [QUOTE]

The first time we have an opportunity to go to Honolulu without the kids in tow - I'm going to buy a new one-piece and wear it the entire time. Seriously, can't wait, as this has been a fantasy of mine forever!!