Telling my secret with actually telling anybody

[Cary]

As I have stated in the past, I am happly in the closet about my crossdressing. I have only told 2 poeple(trusted friends, no family) that I dress and they have been somewhat supportive. One went through my clothes saying I have better clothes than her. The other took me shopping with her. Neither of them have brought up subject since I first told them. I do my dressing at home or sometimes underdress at work(panties and/or pantyhose). I take great pains to keep things the way they are, but sometimes I think I tell on myself. I find myself looking too long at GG coworkers and friends outfits. I notice that more of them are starting to adjust their clothes after a few moments into the conversations. I have started compliementing women on their outfits in public no matter where I'm at or who I'm with. I joke with my buddies about wearing me wearing women's clothes, but I think I'm just testing the waters. I don't know. What do you girls think?

[Christina Horton]

Sounds to me that your not so happily in the closet about my crossdressing anymore. Sound to me like you want more.

That seams to happen when we are able to not only except our dressing but we need time to let it sink in and be ok with it in our own heads.

You (I think at least) are wanting to go out dressed . It may not be soon but I think you finally have the ok in your own mind that you can go out dressed.

The old saying "what you never had you wont miss" I think applies here cuz , well lets face it you've only dressed in privet not out so you will not "miss" it.

Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning Warning....... If you go out dressed once you'll Unless you have a very bad experience with it will want to go out more. If you are in a place in your life where you can go out dressed when you want to go and not have anyone yell at ya then just be ready for the pink fog to jump on your head.

If your still happy in the closet then I'm happy for you. Just remember if you stick a toe out side you may never want to go back in. Just FIY.

[RozalynLove]

I think joking around about it with your friends is definitely a form of testing the water, I don't think it's necessarily got to be because you're dying to tell them, though. It's perhaps that you're just interested in knowing what your friends WOULD think of you if the knew everything about you. It is interesting to consider which of the people we care about wouldn't care about us under slightly different circumstances. However, only you spending great amounts of time considering why you feel the way you do will lead you to the answer.

In my opinion, you probably are as happy with your current situation as you say you are, but that doesn't mean you aren't craving more. If you find out that you do want more, I think the best thing to do would be to go out dressed up and start building new friendships with people who know you only that way. This allows you to maintain things as they are just now for as long as you wish, while experiencing another side of life.

I really don't think you need to worry too much about admiring girls outfits, though! Most men stare at women, and you're probably giving a lot better compliments that most of them!

[Pam.]

I find myself looking too long at GG coworkers and friends outfits. I notice that more of them are starting to adjust their clothes after a few moments into the conversations. I have started compliementing women on their outfits in public no matter where I'm at or who I'm with. I joke with my buddies about wearing me wearing women's clothes, but I think I'm just testing the waters. I don't know. What do you girls think?

Cary

The GG's your looking at may be adjusting their clothes as your making them feel uncomfortable, I shouldn't wonder that they simply presume that your perving on them.

You are testing the water, but unless any of those you work with are aware of T issues, they may never even guess that your TV in a million years. Your hints may never actually let them realise that hidden part of you - I bet that it has never even crossed their minds.

Go back to the two people who you have told. Ask them if they will be open to talking & sharing time with that part of you, it may vent some steam till your more aware of which direction you wish to do.

Pam

[Inna]

I have held the truth for 44 years and didn't realize how much there was. I am not your average CD but transitioning Transgender, however as I believe we are all part of, some more some less, one gender disphoric family. The fact you question your resolve and validity of the secret means one think, you want it out. Weather it is a good idea or not I can not advice after all it took me 44years to finally commit to letting my secret out and then it isn't 100% out yet. When I told my sis about it the emotion of release I have experienced was unequal to any I had experienced. Flood of pain poured out for hours and days, I couldn't believe how much I held back. It is only natural for us to keep the secret but we do pay a tremendous price no matter what anyone says!

[NicoleScott]

I think testing the waters is smart. If people begin to give you hints that they may not supportive, then you can back off. If they seem supportive, proceed. You can proceed with conservation about crossdressing without revealing that you crossdress, up to a point anyway. It's nice to have a trusted, supportive friend.

[mklinden2010]

As I have stated in the past, I am happly in the closet about my crossdressing. I have only told 2 poeple(trusted friends, no family) that I dress and they have been somewhat supportive. One went through my clothes saying I have better clothes than her. The other took me shopping with her. Neither of them have brought up subject since I first told them. I do my dressing at home or sometimes underdress at work(panties and/or pantyhose). I take great pains to keep things the way they are, but sometimes I think I tell on myself. I find myself looking too long at GG coworkers and friends outfits. I notice that more of them are starting to adjust their clothes after a few moments into the conversations. I have started compliementing women on their outfits in public no matter where I'm at or who I'm with. I joke with my buddies about wearing me wearing women's clothes, but I think I'm just testing the waters. I don't know. What do you girls think?


I think that's a great idea, to go back to the first two and ask for some feedback.

And, it's been said before, but "hinting around" doesn't work on this, or, frankly, most other topics. If you can't just come out and say something, then do your homework - read, get counseling, talk to other people - until you can honestly hold your own in such a conversation.

Meanwhile, you seem to be creeping people out somehow. Dropping "weird" hints is one way to do it, "looking" at people too long without explanation is another. Be careful not to leave them making up their own explanations.

If I had to do EVERYTHING all over again, I'd get some books and articles about gay life, TG, TS, CD, etc. and read them, THEN leave them about where other people could comment on them, or, not. Most people want the people around them to know what they are doing with their lives. Nobody really wants loose cannons rolling around hurting feelings, creating problems.

It's "get a grip" time. You're CDing at home, but you're thinking about it all over the place. Figure out who you are and what you are about and make your life what you want. It may not be what you currently think, but you'll wind up somewhere doing something - so aim for what you think you want and be open about it.

Most people, oddly enough, would rather help you find your way than get in your way.

Good luck and good living.

PS

I had a new gal over one day who walked right into my library, surveyed all the books, and then picked up, "The Emancipated Crossdresser" and sat down to read it.

I thought to myself, "This is going to be interesting!"

It was. Very.

Man, it's hard to type and smile this broadly at the same time...

[Shelby]

Like you I started out in the closet and was content for some time, but then I started having these urges to tell people. I carefully tested some of my gg friends and determined that certain ones would be a good choice. You have 2 gg friends that are willing to help you. Take them up on it and ask for help, you won't regret it. Since I came out to 3 of them, our friendships have grown stronger and very special. I feel like a huge weight has been removed and even feel more free to explore this side of my life and I'm willing to bet that the same would be for you.

Careful not to stare at women. I get self concious is I see someone staring me up and down even when as a guy. The first thing I do is check the fly. You already conquered the hard part of sharing this side of you with 2 women, now make the most of it and enjoy.