Came out to new girlfriend

[vivianann]

I came out to my new girlfriend, about my crossdressing two nights ago, needless to say she was quite shocked, kept saying I dont know what to think, after awhile she started asking questions about why I like to wear womens clothing, it was a struggle for her to understand crossdressing, she told me that she needed some time to understand cding. I thought I was going to lose her, to my surprise she called me the next day and was very sweet to me, and we had a wonderful conversation that lasted for many hours. I hope all goes well between her and I into the future. I feel really good about telling her, and if I shall lose her I will be broken hearted, but at least I told her the truth and I hope over time she will accept my cding, only time will tell.

[Mirani]

Congratulations - you have taken a risk, but it is the right kind of risk. I hope you are both able to have a future based on an honest beginning.
Best wishes.

[BRANDYJ]

Vivianann, I am happy to hear about your coming out to your girlfriend. I wish you all the luck and love in the world. I'm glad she is trying to understand and accept you for the person you are. If you don't mind my saying, just be sure you don't smother her with it. Go slow. Even after she tells you that she is fine with it, be sure not to let her acceptance consume you to the point of making it a daily conversation or worse yet, a daily dressing or desire to dress in front of her. Let her more or less lead n her road to understanding.
I think the biggest mistake a CD makes is when he is so thrilled to have a GG accept his being a CD, that he goes under the pink fog and makes it like he can't get enough of her acceptance and his dressing. Please go slow and don't risk running her off lost in that pink fog. Again, I am very happy for you.

[fluffy]

Well done Viv,
I know it's hard but it is the best way to go about it and for me the only way.
Telling a new girlfriend is still easier than coming out to a wife of 20 years or so.

Women are far more accepting than most of us think. We just have to give them a fair chance and telling them openly early on is the only way to do that.

Please encourage everyone to do that.

[Crysten]

Better the truth up front than sneeking around and hiding. At the very least, she now knows you are an honest person who is willing to share yourself with her. I could never understand how anyone would hide something as...momentuous..as this from someone they love. And then they wonder why...10 years later...after the wife finds the "stash" -- that their about to be single again. I told my wife on our third date fourteen years ago and haven't regretted it for a minute.

Best wishes and good luck!!

[Tomara]

Hi Vivianann
That's great news , I feel it's always best to tell the truth and be up front with people and if they have a problem with you being yourself than that's their problem.
I wish you the best of luck in your new relationship !
Tomara

[alice clair]

Crysten I totally agree with you, you cannot go wrong with the truth

[Katheryn]

I came out to my new girlfriend, about my crossdressing two nights ago, needless to say she was quite shocked, kept saying I dont know what to think, after awhile she started asking questions about why I like to wear womens clothing, it was a struggle for her to understand crossdressing, she told me that she needed some time to understand cding. I thought I was going to lose her, to my surprise she called me the next day and was very sweet to me, and we had a wonderful conversation that lasted for many hours. I hope all goes well between her and I into the future. I feel really good about telling her, and if I shall lose her I will be broken hearted, but at least I told her the truth and I hope over time she will accept my cding, only time will tell.


When I came out to my wife I pointed out that all the reasons she liked me over other men she'd dated all stemmed from the same parts of me that had me wearing skirts and heels. She was afraid I wasn't CD but would want the op and to find a man and leave her. Told her that wasn't the case, just liked to take an occaisional swim in the estrogen ocean as Bill Engvall calls it. Twenty years later, she believes me.


kate

[Jenny Doolittle]

I am happy for you Vivian, like others have said "Best to be honest from the start"

I think she may have taken the time to learn a little bit about CDing and discovered that we are not monsters. You must have given her some good sites like this one to learn more about what cross dressing is all about.

Anyway, I wish you the best in your new relationship.

[kaitlin]

I agree 100% !!! An open and honest relationship is the best! My wife and I have been together for 8 years now, we started with a firm set of rules, the biggest being we would be honest and keep no secrets from each other no matter what! To this day we have never had a cross word or anything!

[anonymousinmaryland]

I agree. Well done. Best wishes to the both of you.

[AKAMichelle]

I think many women can accept us if we just had the courage to tell from the beginning. I don't think we understand the brownie points we get for being honest from the beginning. Many guys will cover up and lie about events in their life forever and they don't crossdress. When a woman is confronted with a guy who tells her something that big and secretive near the beginning of their relationship, she sees a side of you which she wasn't prepared for. She gets to see a guy who is honest and trusts her.

The real problem with relationships and cd'ing is when we hide it from them. The trust and honesty part of the relationship is nearly destroyed in one event. It takes a long time to rebuild it and if other things are wrong in the relationship, then cd'ing becomes an out for the woman and many of them take it.

Good luck! I hope everything works out for you.

[PretzelGirl]

That's wonderful Vivian! I believe the instances where it takes a day is actually a good sign. If we tell someone, sometimes the brain goes into overdrive and it is hard to think straight. Give it one night and the person gets the chance to think that this is the same person they knew before. They just need the time for the thoughts to slow down to where they can be worked on. :hugs:

[Christina Horton]

One of the best ways to explain why We CD is to ask the this (you) "Are you right or left handed" (them) "right" (you) Ok now tell me why? ( them "why what" (you) 'Why are you right handed" (them)" Ahhhhh I don't know It just is natural for me to use the right hand for most stuff , Plus I was born with it that way." (you) exactly!!!! That's the same as CDing is for me. I can't quite put into words why just that if feels right when I'm dressed as a women." And so on!!! Now of course if there left handed you use the left handed speech but you can figger that out LOL.

I think that is a best as I can explain why I do this and if it will help you then you (and the rest of the girls here can use it to.

Congrats on telling the GF , your world will never be the same , all will be great just as you know go at her pace and don't make every chat and time with her be around CDing. Hugs and take care of her.:love:

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Vivianann,

I don't know how long you have been dating, but after a while, when things start to look like they might become more serious, I think we all have to share that secret side of ourselves if we want to have a relationship based on honesty and trust.

Kudos to you for being honest and brave enough to take this step. By doing this, it shows you care and that you are serous about her and your relationship. :hugs:

[Sarah Doepner]

Yay! Good for you Vivianann. And double good for your friend! It's hard on both sides of the relationship and wonderful when it works out. I wish you both the best.

[vivianann]

Hi Rachel, and the others who posted, thanks for the words of advise, I dont have the pink fog moments anymore, thank God. For me dressing up is no different than doing something that I enjoy, such as playing with my hot rods, or anything else.
I let her bring up the subject of crossdressing now, and so far she has a couple of times, she is still struggleing with it, and rightfully so. I dont believe I am out of the woods with her about crossdressing, I am not quite sure which way this will go, so far we seem to be enjoying each other and it has been over a week now, we talk alot. I will keep you all posted.

[Heisthebride]

That's fantastic Viv, honesty is really the beat way to go. I hope everything works out for the two of you. Let her take things at her pace as she gets used to the idea. For me it worked out great, we were married in April. We also have plans on a 2nd wedding where I will be the bride.

[Victoria Anne]

That is wonderful Vivian , honesty is the best way to go , I wish you both all the very best and many long years together.

[JennaR]

wow, good for you I guess even if your wearing a dress you have balls the size of Jupiter. I'm married so I'll hope never to deal with that situation but I have to say I would have wimped out :o and more then likley ended up leaving hints around until she figured it out. Then let her bring it up. I respect you for that:drink:

[ReineD]

That's wonderful, Vivian ... congratulations! :) But, I'm not surprised. lol. There are a great many more GGs who are accepting than people imagine, especially if they are on the dating scene in their 40's or 50's. It's an entirely different matter than a GG who finds out about the CDing after having been married to her husband for years.

A word of caution, and this is based on my own experience. It's important to be honest, as you have been, but be careful to not minimize the extent of your desires and spring things on her bit by bit. This might lead her to believe that you are headed for far more than you actually are.

If you enjoy going out several times per week and this is important to you, don't lead her to believe that you only dress rarely. Or only privately. If you have femme profiles on social sites, disclose them to her early. And if you do identify as more than "just a regular guy who occasionally enjoys getting in touch with a female side", tell her this as well. If there is anything about your appearance that you are currently considering changing, tell her about this now as well.

It is when things start to change after the relationship becomes established that spooks many GGs, and this may even turn them off. But if they are clear from the onset about your desires and how the CDing fits into your life, there will be no surprises down the road and the gf won't eventually question her own role in your relationship.

I wish you both the best, and I do hope your relationship reaches its full potential. :hugs:

[Paisley GG]

So much great, caring advice...:)

Really in the end, we each want is the best match as a companion, lover, friend..Someone who we get and who gets us. To find this best match, at some point one has to be brave and show their warts, peccadillos and tender parts. Not only is this not fair to one's self but it not fair to the other as they need to find their best match. It is never easy to expose one's vulnerabilities, and then possibility be rejected...but I think out of that dignity can flourish.


Forgot the most important part....I do hope this turns out the be a wonderful match for you.

[~Michelle~]

My advice to you; continue to make :<3: love :<3: the main focus, make sure you both don't get too much dragged into this crossdressing issue so that it becomes the main focus. Her intense love for you will most likely make it easier for her to deal with the crossdressing and make this relationship a success. Never underestimate the strength of love!

I told my wife only a few months after I met her, but we took it slowly and we focused more on having a great time together. It has paid off in the long term, we're now almost 11 years together and at this point the crossdressing has become a part of our relationship in a healthy way.

[vivianann]

Update, last night my girlfriend said she wanted to ask me some questions about my crossdressing, and believe me that is the last thing I want to talk about at this time, but she insisted, she asked me how often I dressed, what is the longest time spent crossdressed, I told her the truth, well she got upset about it, then she asked if I could, would I dress as a woman everyday, I said yes I would, but it is not feasable to do so, because of family, church, and work. Well my answer that I would dress daily if I could really upset her, this whole thing about crossdressing is really troubleing to her :sad: I told her I am being up front and honest with her from he beginning, that I am sorry that I have caused her heartache over this, but I cant change it, it is a part of who I am, and I even used the right hand or left hand analogy, that was suggested earlier, I also told her that she needs alot of time to really grasp the concept of crossdressing, and I also told her you may or may not come to terms with it. I told her that I went through alot of termoil because I thought it was wrong, and had alot of gilt trips over this. I explained to her that it took along time to finally come to terms with crossdressing, and that most all crossdressers go through the same thing.
I told her a few times that she could run away from me if she wants to, but she did say that she will not abandon our relationship over this. she wanted more time to research on the subject of crossdressing, and that she had been doing online research on crossdressing. It is going to take a long time for her to really get her head around this, I did not raise my voice, and neither did she, she had tears welling up in her eyes during our discussion, she did ask me if this was breaking my heart also, I said yes, because at that moment it was. At least our conversation was amicable. I love this woman with all my heart, and have for the last 30 yrs. We are at a crossroads right now, I asked her to bear with me and see where this goes. eventually the conversation went onto better things, and we had a wonderful time afterwards, but we have a long way to go. And another thing, her name is Vivian also. I might have to change my femme name, I love the name Vivian, and I dont want to change it, but if I have to I will.

[ReineD]

Wow, you've known her for 30 years! :)

I dunno, but I think it will be OK. :hugs:

So if she's online doing some research already, you might invite her to join this forum and become a member of FAB? Or do you feel a bit queasy having her read your past posts? Not that there's anything wrong with them, but you truly would be baring your soul if you did that.

If your gf can get over this hurdle, you will have a wonderful relationship together. I'm pulling for your both!!!!

:love:

[Paisley GG]

for being so brave and honest you deserve a humungous one of these
((((((((((((vivianann)))))))))))

[vivianann]

Wow, you've known her for 30 years! :)

I dunno, but I think it will be OK. :hugs:

So if she's online doing some research already, you might invite her to join this forum and become a member of FAB? Or do you feel a bit queasy having her read your past posts? Not that there's anything wrong with them, but you truly would be baring your soul if you did that.

If your gf can get over this hurdle, you will have a wonderful relationship together. I'm pulling for your both!!!!

:love:

Yes I met her 30 years ago this month, and it was love at first sight for me, she is a very beautiful woman, we got to know each other well in the 2 months that we saw each other, I even asked her to marry me, then I was transfered out of the area and lost total contact, there was alot of things going against us being together and I will not tell that story here on this forum. I have always loved this woman for the past 30 yrs, however I had no idea after all these years with no contact at all that my feelings for her would be so strong, she seems to feel the same for me also.
I would like to invite her here to this site, ReineD you hit the nail on the head, I am very queasy about doing so right now, fist reason I have changed since I started on this forum, but most important I am afraid of her reaction to those with panty fetishes, and those who fantasize about having sex with men while crossdressed, she is very sensitive about that kind of behavior. I dont want her to have worries about things like that. She knows I am solid in my sexuality, but I dont want her to worry about that kind of stuff, your help and advise would be greatly appreciated.
Paisley you are very sweet, thanks, I really appreciate what youhave said, and I really appreciate the very kind words and advice from ReineD.

[Brenda456]

I hope it works out. It is evident that you both care about each other. My fingers are crossed for you!

[ReineD]

Vivian, if she's doing her own research online, she'll run across all that stuff and worse. Just Google crossdressing and see all the porn and meet-up sites that pop up.

The idea is for her to learn that there is a wide array of motives and behaviors with the CDing, and most CDs are like you. Not the pure fetishists. Unfortunately the sexual behaviors get the most attention because sex sells ads online.

I like to encourage couples to go through this site together and discuss the various threads, so the SO can be very clear about what fits in her relationship and what doesn't. You've no doubt changed or evolved throughout your time here. We all do, or rather our understandings develop as we discuss things and work through them. You could go through your posts with her and give her a historical perspective of your CDing. I can't help but think that doing this would bring the two of you even closer together.

At any rate it is entirely your choice, I by no means wish to influence your decision either way. I just wanted to present you with options. :hugs:

[BRANDYJ]

As usual, I agree with one of my favorite GG's on this site. Reine offers some very good advice. I am not sure I'd be comfortable with all the porn sites she will encounter in her search for good information about what being a CD is really all about. I'd strongly encourage you to ask her to join here or at least read the posts together. Sit down wiht her and sign in and let her find the topics that will give her the answers she really wants to know.

[vivianann]

Thanks for the wonderful advice, I will get together with her and log in to this forum and explain everything. I am putting everything on the line so there is no surprises.
We spent the whole afternoon and evening talking and joking around and we seem to be getting closer in our relationship. The subject of crossdressing never came up. I do realize that things could change in a heartbeat, so I am taking one day at a time right now.
I do know that she has run accross some nasty porn stuff during her online research and she was put off by it

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Vivan at least you told her the truth and she called you the next day that means she is accepting you as a CD.

[carrie-ann]

No matter what you did the wright thing. I hope she gets the wright info. For both your sakes. I wish you both the best.

[unclejoann]

Have you dressed for her? Seeing is believing, you know.

[vivianann]

No I have not dressed for her, it is way too soon for that, if she does ask me to dress for her, I will do it.

[Shananigans]

When I came out to my wife I pointed out that all the reasons she liked me over other men she'd dated all stemmed from the same parts of me that had me wearing skirts and heels. She was afraid I wasn't CD but would want the op and to find a man and leave her. Told her that wasn't the case, just liked to take an occaisional swim in the estrogen ocean as Bill Engvall calls it. Twenty years later, she believes me.


kate

That's the big fear for many of us...not the CDing. The more you can convince that you don't want to transition or run off with a man the better haha.

However, I must say, she said that she needed time to understand it. That is GREAT feedback from her, I feel. That totally means that she isn't going to sweep this under the rug and say, "Oh, okay, thanks for sharing. Can we quickly forget that this aspect of yourself exists??"

I think she sounds great and it seems to me like she will take the time to understand you and what crossdressing means to you.

[JulieC]

I am putting everything on the line so there is no surprises.

It's absolutely wonderful that you've done this. So, so many times I read of our sisters doing the opposite.


You've been around here enough to know, but just remember that you've had most of your life to learn, research, adapt, seek deeper understanding, experiment, and adjust to your reality of being a crossdresser. She's trying very hard to catch up. It will take time. Possible lots of time. The important thing is she's trying, and you're being absolutely honest with her.

[ReineD]

Thanks for the wonderful advice, I will get together with her and log in to this forum and explain everything.

Well, if you don't mind more advice, I would just tell her about the forum and give her a quick run-down of the membership, explaining the vast spectrum of members. You can view the MtF together without logging in. We encourage members to log in under their own accounts.

Then if she is interested, you can encourage her to set up her own account and join FAB. Then, after 10 posts she can easily find your profile and you can offer to sit down with her and go through your posts together, in case she has any questions/concerns.

:hugs:

[Kate17]

Hi Vivian

Someone said the truth will set you free but sometimes that is not always evident. Everyone that has gone through this, has their own story. One thing that helped me is my wife recognized the fem side of me before I told her. She is not into macho stuff although appreciates certain manly character that I posess. She see's my masculine side as much as my fem side so it is a good mix. Perhaps your girlfriend can ponder the advantage of that. I can tell you that although I hang around the house with painted nails and in somewhat feminine attire, my wife will not have a girl to girl talk with me so she has set her limits. I also promised her I would not embarass her by being too feminine among neighbors and friends. I am lucky that I live somewhat remote so I can get away with a lot. you need to help her see the positives.

Good luck girl and I wish you the best.

[soloman56]

Congratulations. Always choose to be with people who you can be yourself around. I learn that more and more every day.

[fallen_rayne]

Take it one step at a time. If you were able to tell her, which is no big step, then you've accomplished quite the feat! congratulations!:D

[vivianann]

Well I have some good news, my girlfriend told me last night that she loves me so much that she accepts me no matter what, and that if I need to dress up as a woman that I can, however she is not ready to see me dressed up yet, I told her that it takes time and I will not force it upon her, I did tell her that I would love to share my feminine side with her one day when she is ready so I dont have to be without her and alone, and she agreed, but the time is not now. I will honor her wishes.
I have been answering her questions when she ask's me about crossdressing. so far so good. I hope to bring her here soon when she is ready.

[Mandy]

That is wonderfull news Vivian.

I'm so pleased that everthing is working out for you:hugs: as others have stressed, Please take it easy:)

[Angiemead12]

Congratulations, there are many things I can share with this, but let communication and information be your strongest assets in the coming discussions. You are the only one who can tell how your wife will react to certain information, sometimes letting things sink in steps rather than a whole is better. I started with just panties for a few months nd look where I am at now! :hugs:

[Claire Cook]

When I came out to my wife I pointed out that all the reasons she liked me over other men she'd dated all stemmed from the same parts of me that had me wearing skirts and heels. She was afraid I wasn't CD but would want the op and to find a man and leave her. Told her that wasn't the case, just liked to take an occaisional swim in the estrogen ocean as Bill Engvall calls it. Twenty years later, she believes me.


kate

Vivian,

My experience is similar to Kate's. It was actually the softer side of my personality that attacted my wife to me, before I told her that I was a CD. She called me "Sweet One" even before she knew, and still does. Her big worry was that I would want to transition, and after 40 years I hope she realizes that that is not a concern. (There are parts of my male existence that I will not give up!)

[Paisley GG]

I am so pleased for you vivianann...now the energy you would have spent hiding and feeling bad can be used for the positive development of your relationship...It sounds like you two have such a good strong friendship that there is a lot of potential for the future.:cheer:

[Shananigans]

That's great news! I'm happy that she is open to the prospect of seeing you dressed and isn't saying, "Nope, never want to see you dressed" which is the story of a lot of people on this site and it makes me :(

[SuzanneAZ]

Sorry that I am chiming in a bit late. I guess the best advice I can give (from one who came out to his wife about crossdressing) is to assure her that you will do EVERYTHING at her pace. She definitely needs the confidence boost that you have considered her feelings above anything else!

[trisha11]

I am very proud of you. I decided after my divorce that I would never hide my crossdressing again. I will always be honest with my gf or potential girlfriend. It is a deal breaker. I am very fortunate to have an awesome GG that has accepted Trisha. I wish you luck. I hope she is open to the idea and maybe you should suggest that she join this forum. It helped my GG understand my dressing. Answered a lot of questions she had.
Good luck.
Trisha Simone.

[ManInBra]

I was thinking a few weeks back how Crossdressers have so many phases and steps of acceptance we want to get thru. Well I remembered it took me close to 25 years to be able to accept myself as a crossdresser, How in the name Bugs Bunny can we expect a new someone in our life to think it over and be OK with it in 10 or 20 minutes, or a day and a half, or really even anything shorter than the 25 years it took myself to accept myself.
I just felt that maybe this was a point worth making, I have no idea if it has been posted before in here or not, But serious, Can we really expect someone to accept us after sleeping on it for a night ? I Hope and pray yes, But the reality of it, myself I know I need to be more realistic about time frame for someone to work things over in their mind about why, why not etc.

If only,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and hopefully in this lifetime.

[Wendi_cd]

No I have not dressed for her, it is way too soon for that, if she does ask me to dress for her, I will do it.

Just remember, when/if you do dress for her, make sure that she always looks better than you do.. always!

:)

GG's can get pretty jealous when you look better in that skirt than they do!

[Tina P Hose]

I hope that it works out friend.

[ReineD]

Just remember, when/if you do dress for her, make sure that she always looks better than you do.. always!

:)

GG's can get pretty jealous when you look better in that skirt than they do!

Although I appreciate that you're trying to protect a GG's feelings, I've got to say that yes, some of us can admire or perhaps even be envious of parts of our SOs: their legs if they are skinnier than ours, or their nails if they are longer, or their weight if they weigh less than us, or even their clothes and jewelry if they are more expensive or from better designers than the ones we can afford to wear. These are things we would admire in other GGs as well.

But ... GGs do know that fundamentally they are the GGs. Trust me, most of us don't feel threatened, especially if we decide to put as much time and effort into our appearance as our SOs. :)

[IMkrystal]

That's wonderful, Vivian ... congratulations! :) But, I'm not surprised. lol. There are a great many more GGs who are accepting than people imagine, especially if they are on the dating scene in their 40's or 50's.

I have been on the dating scene for YEARS. After recently attending two very good motivational workshops, life is about taking risk and failing not about hiding and thinking you are being safe. If I ever meet that special woman, coming out will be a high priority!:daydreaming:

[vivianann]

I am here to tell you all that my girlfriend and I are so in love with each other, and that the relationship has taken on new heights, we spend many hrs a day in conversation and yes crossdressing does come up from time to time, she is willing to learn more about it, and that it will take time to get use to the fact that I crossdress, I am taking it slow and easy with her so she will not get overwhelmed with too much talk about crossdressing. She tells me that she loves me so much that she cannot bear the thought of losing me, I feel the same about her. She is a very sweet lady. and she is quite pretty. There is no way I could be prettier than her, and I would never want to be prettier than her, I just want to be her man. She is not ready to see me enfemme yet, and I am in no hurry to show her until she is ready. I am so greatful that she has stuck with me so far, and that she is willing to learn more about crossdressing, she does appreciate some of the funny stories about my enfemme adventures.

[KellyG]

Great news! Sounds like you're handling it well, not going too fast. The fact that you love each other is the most important thing.

[vivianann]

It has been a rollercoaster ride with my fiance, concerning the subject of my crossdressing, she is really trying to understand, but the other day when I was in Vegas she heard me walking in heels when I was on the phone with her, it really upset her to the point that she cried, it broke my heart for her, because I did not want to cause her any pain. I am so in love with her that I am love sick.. My fiance found an article about the 11 myths about crossdressing, she emailed the article to me and and asked if the article was true, I read the article and found it to be true, it was well written and thought out, I went over the article with her sentence by sentence, and added my perspective on the subject of crossdressing, it was very helpful to her and helped her to gain a better understanding.

[ReineD]

Can you post a link to the article here?

It's so good of you to take the time to address your fiancee's concerns. The learning curve is pretty steep for a GG, and it's important for her to know that she continues to be a priority in your life. :hugs:

I can't tell you how easy it is for a GG to imagine all kinds of things when there isn't good communication and she is left to fill in the blanks by herself, especially if she's reading posts such as the huge Dating and CDs thread in the M2F.

[Tricia Lee]

I imagine it's this article:

http://crossdresserswife.com/index.php/2009/02/20/11-crossdressing-facts/

[suzanne]

With your spot-on approach to introducing her to your CDing and her love for you, the two of you can't miss! It must be so encouraging just to hear her say she loves you so much that CDing wouldn't put her off. I so hope you two have a long and happy relationship. Congratulations!

[girly_esther]

I agree with Mirani that you have taken the right kind of risk.It was very nice of you to be honest with her and start the relationship with the honesty.Time heals everything.If she came back to you the next day then definitely she just needs some time to understand your feelings as cd'ing must be new to her.so you should give her some time to think and understand.All the best with everything though.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Well I have some good news, my girlfriend told me last night that she loves me so much that she accepts me no matter what, and that if I need to dress up as a woman that I can, however she is not ready to see me dressed up yet, I told her that it takes time and I will not force it upon her, I did tell her that I would love to share my feminine side with her one day when she is ready so I dont have to be without her and alone, and she agreed, but the time is not now. I will honor her wishes.
I have been answering her questions when she ask's me about crossdressing. so far so good. I hope to bring her here soon when she is ready.


I think you have been showing her your femside all along.... It is part of what makes her love you!

[vivianann]

It was the article that Tricia posted the link to. it was very helpful. Yesterday my fiance told me that she believed in true love all her life, but she was losing faith of ever finding true love or that it might not exist. She then went on to tell me that I restored her faith in true love, because I was the first man to ever show her true love, and because of that she wants to learn and understand my desire to crossdress, and maybe have fun with it, she did say it will be difficult but she is willing to try, because she loves me with all her heart.
Jenny, My fiance told me 30 yrs ago that I had alot of feminine qualities, even though I was trying to hide them when I was in my late teens and early 20's. She saw right through the facade, she knows me well.

[sandra-leigh]

Vivianann, I notice that at the start of this discussion, you referred to your "girlfriend" and now you refer to your "fiance". Do we deduce that you told her about your cross-dressing before you got engaged?

Congratulations on your engagement!

[vivianann]

I told her before we were engaged, I told her a week into our relationship, we got engaged a month later.

[IngeInCO]

Way to go!
I just came out to my wife last week and was shocked by her reaction. I was so axious about it and when i finally said it she just looked at me. Smiled and said it's just clothing, you can wear what you want. She was so happy I was honest with her. I even put all of my undies in her drawer so we can share lol


Inge

[ReineD]

She then went on to tell me that I restored her faith in true love,

That's exactly the way I felt when I first met my SO too! :)

[vivianann]

LATEST UPDATE

I took my fiance to Vegas, we went to Glamour Boutique and I bought her a Makeover, While she was getting her makeup done I was getting a MTF makeover. after the makeovers we were introduced to each other by Amy, Kat, and Venesa. Vivian (my Fiance) finally saw me dressed as a woman, her reaction was alot better than I anticipated, she walked up to me and put her arms around my neck and kissed me, and told me I looked pretty, she looked way prettier than I did. After the introduction to my Femme side and our visit with Amy and her girls, we went out on the town as two women, I took her out to dinner, then to Freemont street, then to the big casinos on the strip, like the Belogio, Ceasars Palace, Paris. we watched the fountains at the Belogio twice, she held my hand everywhere we went. it was a wonderful experience for the both of us.
She said she needs more time to get use to me dressed enfemme, and she wants me to be her man when she needs me to be, I told her I would be her man when she needs me to be.

[deebra]

The next time you get together say for an evening at home wear a pair of girl jeans (not skin tight/painted on) and see how she handles it. If she's uptight with it, and you can tell; maybe a good option might be to move on because it could be "to much", for her to ever accept. Her view of a man could be set in stone and how often does stone change? If she does handle it and says it's not as bad as she thought, then a couple of weeks later wear the jeans again and show her the waist band of the panties underneath. I feel this approach will help both of you find the answer.

[dayna_nj]

I came out to my new girlfriend, about my crossdressing two nights ago, needless to say she was quite shocked, kept saying I dont know what to think, after awhile she started asking questions about why I like to wear womens clothing, it was a struggle for her to understand crossdressing, she told me that she needed some time to understand cding. I thought I was going to lose her, to my surprise she called me the next day and was very sweet to me, and we had a wonderful conversation that lasted for many hours. I hope all goes well between her and I into the future. I feel really good about telling her, and if I shall lose her I will be broken hearted, but at least I told her the truth and I hope over time she will accept my cding, only time will tell.

Literally sounds like the exact same thing I went through last april. Told my girlfriend, she was not happy about it. Expected her to leave, but she's still here. She doesnt understand it and never will I dont think, but she does let me do it on the side.

I dont want to lose her. Love being a man with her, I just like to CD like once a month. No desire to do this full time, so I think that's the only reason she is still here. If she got any sense I wanted to do this more she would be gone in a heartbeat.

[vivianann]

Vivian is the love of my life, I will not play any games with her when it comes to crossdressing, such as wearing womens pants or panties or whatever to get a reaction, that is not how I operate, she knows I like to wear dresses, and yes she is still trying to get use to it, and I believe she will get use to it as time goes on, she tells me she wants to understand it better, to me she is trying, and how she treated me the other day and night in Vegas was absolutely wonderful. By dressing in the styles she likes, (which is conservative) she was more receptive, she told me that if I was into club gear mini skirts and such she would not go out wih me dressed like that, and I dont blame her. I truelly believe I have found the most incredible woman a man could have as a wife.

ReineD that is wonderful you felt that way when you first met your SO.

P.S. My fiance and I are getting married on the 23 of October.