How long?

[Kate Simmons]

This is directed mainly to the senoir crossdressers here as I know the younger whippersnappers don't give a hoot. It's a subject that isn't broached very often. I'm wondering just how long some intend to hold onto the CDing premise. There comes a time as we get older when we may have to depend on others to help meet our needs, possibly live with our children or go in a senior home or nursing home because of physical conditions. What happens to the CD premise then? I would think it would tend to go out the window. Granted it may be part of who we are but a lot of it depends on our being independent.

Even if we manage to remain independent, what kind of purpose is served by sitting in a rocking chair knitting, wearing a shawl with our hair in a bun or having a blue or purple permanent? Just how feminine would we feel doing something like that? My purpose for asking this is not to forecast gloom, just wondering if anyone else has thought about the possible road ahead and how to address the possibilities.:)

[Maddie]

If I ever get to that point I will Fake it and dress completly and just let everyone think I am losing it. get up every day put on a dress and makeup (oops I do that now)

My wife worked in a nursing home and exactly that happened. There was a guy that kept taking dresses and saying they were his and dressing in them.

when you get thaat old everyone expects you to be a little quirky or senile so why not take advantage of it.

only one that would know it is an act is my daughter because she knows I dress :)

[DAVIDA]

Hi Denise!
I haven't thought about it, but I really don't think that I will have that problem. I really don't expect to live that long.:doh:

[suzy1]

I aim to be the sexiest 90 year old ever!
Joking aside, if I ever loose my independence then that’s it. It just doesn’t bear thinking about so I don’t.
Back to having fun…………….SUZY

[Frédérique]

How long?

...is it? I’m not telling…:heehee:


I'm wondering just how long some intend to hold onto the CDing premise. Even if we manage to remain independent, what kind of purpose is served by sitting in a rocking chair knitting, wearing a shawl with our hair in a bun or having a blue or purple permanent? Just how feminine would we feel doing something like that?

Since when is crossdressing a “premise?” I don’t think there’s a shelf life for feelings, darling. I’ll be very happy to be old and en femme, regardless of my circumstances. Love will find a way, and I love doing this. However, I can safely say I won’t have a blue or purple permanent years from now…:eek:

[Joanne f]

It is going to have to come with me in some form as i refuse to give it up :heehee: (ok can`t give it up) i had a little taste of this a few weeks ago when i had to go to the doctors , i only have female underwear and completely refuse to buy any male underwear for what you might call emergencies so i just found a plain pair and made do , i also had female trousers on , luckily i did not have to get down to undies this time :heehee: in any case if i live long enough that will bring me up to about middle aged CDing :D but then i could still act like a teenager and get away with it and just plead senile insane ( come to think of it i already am ),:devil:

[Pam.]

This is directed mainly to the senoir crossdressers here as I know the younger whippersnappers don't give a hoot. It's a subject that isn't broached very often. I'm wondering just how long some intend to hold onto the CDing premise. There comes a time as we get older when we may have to depend on others to help meet our needs, possibly live with our children or go in a senior home or nursing home because of physical conditions. What happens to the CD premise then? I would think it would tend to go out the window. Granted it may be part of who we are but a lot of it depends on our being independent.

Even if we manage to remain independent, what kind of purpose is served by sitting in a rocking chair knitting, wearing a shawl with our hair in a bun or having a blue or purple permanent? Just how feminine would we feel doing something like that? My purpose for asking this is not to forecast gloom, just wondering if anyone else has thought about the possible road ahead and how to address the possibilities.:)

What an interesting question!

Depending on the type of care you need, you may loose all of your independence. I have known many care workers & not one of them has reported anyone asking to be enfemme or wearing girly clothes.

I guess for those who keep their marbles, yet loose a lot of their independence it must be very difficult if they cannot dress.

Pam

[noeleena]

Hi.

ill come at this slightly differently if your in the frame of mind as a few i know,
will carry on dressing & as for the nursing homes some have continued they dont have male clothes nore will have ,
wev had this talk over here & i dont see a problem like we say if you present as a female no problems,
tho some i allso know dont wont thier familys to know they dressed.
Bit late for this kid i dont have those ummm bits so they have to let me dress any ways. & when they lay me down itll be in my blue with black see through lace dress my ball gown. & my head wear scarve to match & my black high heeled shoes .
or theyll throw me back in the assylum , ether way ill still wear my gown .

...noeleena...

[bonnibrai]

oh dear what a post for a saturday morn.now i must think i am of that age and i have never given it that much thought.i feel feminine now sitting in a rocking chair and reading girly mags so i guess the blue perm is not that far off.by the way denise love your dimples. hugs bonni

[kimberly ann487]

Funny, I was just thinking about this very thing the other day. The answer I came up with was I would need a loving and understanding SO to go down that final path with. Wish I had that now, it seems having that would cure a lot of ills.

[Molly Wells]

I have thought of this as well. I would like to think the desire would pass or interest would wane. Since I am in the closet to my family (my wife knows but it has long been a DADT) If I was to need to live with one of my kids or in a home I expect any desires would go unfulfilled.
Molly

[AKAMichelle]

Never thought about it till now. Thanks for causing that as I was enjoying the feeling still of being invincible. :D

At 50 I know I will have to deal with this question seriouesly at some point. Since my grandfather died at 96, and both parents are alive and doing ok at 83 I expect to live a long life. For me the question I am still dealing with is how to live a full life as well.

But since this question has to do with care as you near the end, I guess I must stay on the question. The one thing which everyone is missing here is whether or not they are open to their friends or family at the end. If you are then why not continue to enjoy cd'ing to the end, but if not then why cause additional pain on your family and friends. You may be dying but it is much worse to watch someone you love die. You shouldn't do anything to increase that pain on anyone as they watch you go to meet your maker.

[Jorja]

I have know several tg/ts/crossdressers in this very situation. The most of them let thier desires go unfullfilled for the most part. Some do continue to dress and just don''t give a darn what anyone thinks. Others, seem to take something from thier better days, a ring or pair of earings, and that is enough for them. It really comes down to you as a person, what do you need, want, or desire?

[Charlena]

If I lose my independence, and still have my wits about me I plan on going on one last vision quest to my favorite natural place, my loved ones will know where to find me. I will not die in a nursing home if I have anything to do with it.
Other options; Go bear hunting without a gun, How did Grandpa die? He was killed by a bear. Rent a convertible, dress in my finest and drive across the US and into the Grand canyon. Oh by the way it's my Birthday and death is part of life. Peace to all!

[PretzelGirl]

Michelle is right in that it may depend greatly on how much you are out to family and friends. And then you can take into account other factors like where you are living; home, rest home, assisted living, etc. And also how well you are doing and getting around. If you don't get around much and the family knows, you can be dressed at home all you want. If you are out to your kids and they don't want kids to know, they can call ahead. I am sure in a lot of instances, something will work out.

Now I am picturing myself at home hearing the front door opening and trying to make a mad dash to the bedroom with my walker.

[sherri]

I imagine that my interest in outward expression will wane if and when I feel that my looks (such as they are) are shot. My sense of personal style tends toward a certain youthfulness and vivacity. I don't mind toning that down as age dictates, but there's a threshold beyond which I don't think I'll enjoy the experience, and I wouldn't dream of foisting that sort of baggage on my loved ones -- I don't do it now, so why would I do it then?

I don't anticipate the declining interest happening until a fairly advanced age as I've always looked a bit younger than my actual age. I will say that there is an elderly GG who comes out to the club occasionally, gotta be well into her 70s, and she always looks great. She doesn't try to be sexy per se, but her style is conservatively youthful, vivacious and fun, excellent taste worn with elan. Which, come to think of it, is still sexy. Gives me hope.

Regardless, what I can carry with me into old age are the changes that have occurred in my heart, mind and spirit. Those I don't mind sharing with anyone and everyone.

[docrobbysherry]

Because of my age, (over 60), and the fact that I'm getting to be a pretty unattractive old broad without my suit! Which I need to look youthful now!:eek:
( See my 4th of July pics to see what I mean! Avatar is just me. Signature in the suit.)

Eventually, I expect I won't have the strength to put on the suit, or the DESIRE to look like a skinny old granny!:sad:

What I plan to do, is spend my "rocker" years editing the thousands of pics and camcorder tapes of Sherry, after she's GONE!:)

[Sarah Doepner]

I plan to have the most provotative collection of support hose in the senior center. Maybe I'll be trying to organized a senior's chapter of Tri-Ess with a focus on how to cope with a sagging body but teenage breast forms.

[linnea]

I've thought about it a lot, Denise, and I think that you've touch on a very provocative subject.
You're absolutely right--at least in my own 64 year old case: much of my CDing (almost all of it) depends on my being independent and able to take care of myself and my needs. I am still fully employed and independent, but in another ten years, I probably will have retired. That will probably happen before ten years transpire. So I've thought about what happens with CDing then.
Because my close family now knows about my CDing, they will support my activity as long as I'm taking care of it myself. However, when I am less mobile and less able, I'm not sure that even I will make the effort.

[Veronica Lacey]

As life can change in an instant regardless of being a "whippersnapper" or enjoying an experience-rich state of existence (read: senior) it is good to consider this avenue of thought once in a while. Good that you brought it up.

I have come to consider my own dressing - I dress maybe twice a week but sometimes go without for a few weeks - as more of a hobby. I am secure in the thought that if I make it to such a ripe age - or if things had changed yesterday for the worse - I would probably mourn the loss of the ability to dress for a short while then move on with life. For those who may not classify wearing dresses et al as "dressing" but as every day normal attire I would imagine it would not matter. If I meet any of you in the "old folks home" I will be sure to say hello and feel happy for you. :)

I feel that I would miss having energy, the ability to walk or run without pain and the ability to see my wife and old freinds as often as I pleased much more than I would miss being able to independently wear panties and a dress. Today I simply will wear what I please to help build those pleasant memories that I may or may not be able to share with anyone down the road.:2c:

[linnea]

This question also made me think of a recently published book about a TG who was blind from the age of 1.5 and who transitioned without even knowing what a woman looked like (at least from visual evidence). In her later years, she managed to live as the woman she had become with the assistance of a care-giver named Michelle Alexander who co-authored the book.
This woman was born a male, crossdressed and then transitioned fully. She had to have help with all of it. She endured ridicule from some, and she often had no way of knowing whether her stockings were in place or sagging or to know the difference anyway.
It's a remarkable story, by the way: Alexander, Michelle, and Michelle Diane Rose. THE COLOR OF SUNLIGHT.

[Elsa Larson]

20 years ago when I would speak to college Human Sexuality classes, I tried to mention the likelihood that some incapacitated people in nursing homes might still think about crossdressing.

I'd suggest that IF the caregiver knew, it would be nice to perhaps lay a bra or lacy camisole across a bedridden patient's chest, under their outerwear.

[Tess]

I feel that I would miss having energy, the ability to walk or run without pain and the ability to see my wife and old freinds as often as I pleased much more than I would miss being able to independently wear panties and a dress. Today I simply will wear what I please to help build those pleasant memories that I may or may not be able to share with anyone down the road.:2c:

My feelings exactly. I've been through a health crisis and things like CD'ing sank immediately out of mind. If my mind is still working I'll remember my CD'ing and other past activities fondly but without regret.

[Crysten]

Standard answer to the "How Long" question: 7 miles. Give or take.

[Daintre]

Denise, quite the question for a Saturday morning. A few years ago I would have said that being an independent person, I would live my life as I saw fit no matter my age. Things have a tendency to change with time and unfortunately my declining health will probably have me in some form of assisted living in the next few years. I already have the need for outside help in some personal areas and the caregiver is always professional and compassionate. I dread the idea of ending up in a nursing home where your Independence is very limited. Looking at what my mother endured makes me shiver to think I might need that care also.

I do think though, when that time arrives, dressing is low on your day to day living plans. I think you would be more concerned with your health, will relatives visit, is it chocolate pudding today or vanilla? I joke, but I seriously wonder about Jenni's future.

[Naomi Rayne]

If I ever get to that point I will Fake it and dress completly and just let everyone think I am losing it. get up every day put on a dress and makeup (oops I do that now)

My wife worked in a nursing home and exactly that happened. There was a guy that kept taking dresses and saying they were his and dressing in them.

when you get thaat old everyone expects you to be a little quirky or senile so why not take advantage of it.

only one that would know it is an act is my daughter because she knows I dress :)

I would like to say that i am a younger CD. 20 years old to be exact and i do care about a question such as what will happen when i get to that point.

The answer above was the best :D Acting like you are loosing it sounds great. And to my resolve as long as i can dress myself i will always be true to my CD nature in some form or another, even if i only am limited to underdressing.

Also as a side note if i ever get to the point where i have to be a huge burden to others then i dont want to get in peoples ways and stop them from enjoying their lives so im kinda hoping that i never get to that point. My grandfather was independent and able to do the things he desired up until right before he passed away. Thats what i hope to be like.

[Rianna Humble]

My reply to this question would have to be what I told my doctor when I first sought her help: "I would rather die an ugly old woman than continue to live as a man"

[Victoria Anne]

I have not given any thought to it , I don't really own many male tops so down to brass tacks it is womens clothing,my clothing that I will wear.

[ReineD]

I can only relate what my SO told me. A few years ago she said that when she was younger, she always thought the desire to dress would disappear during middle age. Now she knows that she will one day look like an old lady. :D

Maybe in 30-40 years from now, the world will have become more accepting of transgenderists.

Or, God forbid, we'll all be too busy dealing with global economic and ecological issues to pay attention to fashion! :eek: Maybe everyone will dress androgynously! :eek:

[AmandaM]

I want to die first.

[Kate Simmons]

For myself it's already become a take it or leave it situation. I'm comfortable being whoever. Mostly because I pulled myself and my feelings together rather than leave them fractionated. My goal these days is to be the best person I can possibly be, age and presentation notwithstanding.:)

[MargaretJ]

Denise, my sister is the only person I have told about my CDing. This was around the time I was starting to go out, and further away from home. The main reason was if I was out en femme and anything happened, or if I was to become ill, and needed someone to go into my house for any reason, and all the girly clothes were seen.

[weekend woman]

This shouldn't be much of an issue since the world is going to end on Dec.21,2012. Now back to reality, I don't have to worry about family as all my immediate family members have preceded me and I do not have an SO or partner. If in a situation where I am mentally incompetent I probably wouldn't know the difference or for that matter care. If the case were to be of sound mind and failing body I would demand my femme clothing. Besides it's easier to change a diaper when wearing a dress than wearing pants.

[Kate Simmons]

12/21/12 is just the end of the Mayan calendar Joan and something folks have latched on for an "end date". It is by no means absolute. In fact, I think the end of the program will come way before that and none of us will really have anything to worry about as far as getting too much older.:)

[ReineD]

Denise, you honestly think the end will come within the next 2 years?

[Nicole Brown]

Well, I for one expect to continue to be Nicole as much as possible for as long as possible. If my current situation doesn't change, I should be living as Nicole full time by the end of the year which removed the need to worry about how I dress.

I have also signed a DNR (Do Not Revert to Male) form... :D

[Petrina CD]

I plan to keep dressing as long as I can, but I know in my heart there will come a time when it gets ugly. I really don't know when I'll stop, but I have a feeling I'll stop before I expire. I'm allready 57 and the face is getting kind of rugged looking for my french maids outfits. On a different subject, I just finished riding the Alaska highway from Homer,AK, to Los Angeles,CA, on my Harley. OMG ,The biggest adventure of my life

Petrina