Evolving comfort zones

[Sarah Doepner]

Look at where you are with your crossdressing now and compare it to where you were when you first started. I have two questions;
1- Did you a) even imagine you would go this far or b) was it part of your long term plan?
2- Did you think it would happen a) this quickly or b) take this long?

I never thought I would fully dress and wander around in public with my wife by my side, it just wasn't in my future. Now I wonder why it took so long? Although I did some crossdressing in my teens and as a young adult, I didn't get drawn in to it regularly until my early 40's. It was about 8 years from the time I started dabbling in crossdressing to the first time I went out in public. It was another 5 or so years before my wife found out and accepted this as part of me.

[AKAMichelle]

I never thought I would go out in public. Since going out in public, I have taken a long road trip dressed and now preparing for the ultimate test for me. Flying to Chicago in 3 weeks dressed.

[JenniferR771]

It took a few years to realize there was a progression to bolder and more intensely feminine activities. I was about 50 before I left the house. 52 when I joined a support group. 54 when I got my first makeover and went shopping en-femme.

[Christina Horton]

Ok I knew I would be going out dressed and no I did not think it would take this long but hay. I lived at home till i was 26 and only like12 years later was my first time out at 38 years old////young!

Now if only I can find a girl friend that likes my CDing then I'll be set.

[Barbara Jo]

It has often been said tha how far one goes in this lifestyle or in gender dysphoria in general often depends heavily on oportunity.

If life situations enable you to take it to higher and higher levels, you often will. :)

[Nikki A.]

I kinda figured that I would eventually do what I'm doing.
That said I never thought that once I did go out for the first time, that I would progress as quickly and as comfortably as I have.

[Rianna Humble]

If we compare today to when I absolutely first started to cross-dress (somewhere around the age of 8 if I recall correctly), then I am not quite as far as I imagined, but in truth I thought then that it would take some kind of a miracle to enable me to truly become a woman.

If we compare today to when I first started to cross-dress in earnest (about 12 to 15 months ago), then I am much further along than I imagined I would be.

I certainly didn't imagine last year that by the start of this month I would have come out to my family, friends and colleagues past and present, or that I would be living and working as a woman so soon.

Transition only started to come into my plans around the end of last year, although I had considered and rejected it frequently during the years when I was hiding from my true gender.

[Victoria Anne]

I cannot remember a time when I did not dress , in secret. I first had to accept myself , at 46 . I never thought I would be where I am today but I am so much happier and happy to be on this road,it has taken far to long.

[linnea]

Mine has been a very long, and mostly secret, journey. Until ten years ago, I probably would have said that I would never be able to go out in public without great fear and trembling and probably only in the cover of night. Now I am on the road to transition.

[Christina2008]

1- Did you a) even imagine you would go this far or b) was it part of your long term plan?

When I joined this site in 2008, it was a big step, which led to my evolution. (mainly dressing fully, rather than just sexy undies!) The advice I read over the years was helpful and I felt part of a community, instead of its being my secret . I have been outside dressed by myself a few times now, which back in 2008 I would never ever have thought I would have done . I had no real future plans regarding CD'ing but all the talk of you girls going out in public did sow a seed which led to my outings.

2- Did you think it would happen a) this quickly or b) take this long?

I didn’t think it would ever have happened. Things have progressed very quickly, got my first t-girl night out coming in a few months too.

[Phyliss]

Mine has been a very long, and mostly secret, journey. Until ten years ago, I probably would have said that I would never be able to go out in public without great fear and trembling and probably only in the cover of night. Now I am on the road to transition.

Sounds like you've been watching my life.

All I ever wanted to do as a kid was wear panties. Oh sure I thought to myself "I'd like to be a girl" But I also thought I'd like to be a Dr., or a Space ship captain, or President, or any number of things a kid wants to be.
Little did I realize then what would be happening now.
I guess it's true, "Be careful what you ask for, ... you just might get it"

[Danielle Piper]

Well a few years ago I could have never imagined going out in public en femme. Now I am at a point where I can go to a nice department store and the salesgirls know me. There is always at least one (usually young) one who I can cultivate a relationship with. I'm telling you there's nothing like taking your time and being able to try on as many beautiful dresses as you want. I find that if you are real most people will treat you as such. By the way this is my first post and I'm really glad I found this place.

[StaceyJane]

This time one year ago I could not have imagined doing what I do now.
Now I wonder what I will be doing a year from now.

[Steph.TS]

I started a long time ago, my parents found out, and after alot of heated discussions about it being a sin, I stopped for a long time, now roughly 10 - 14 years later I'm just starting to get back into it. I've read some stuff online about this and I personally don't think it's a sin I wish I could know for sure though.

so I didn't really progress at all since I first started. I think I'm just going to be careful about making sure my family doesn't find out.

[audreyinalbany]

I, too, only dabbled in crossdressing until my late forties. I was early fifties until I left the house dressed, and although I've been out a couple times in public, I still feel like I have a long way to go, confidence wise. Did I ever think I'd get to this point? Well, no I guess I never really thought that much about it..it just sort of gradually evolved.

[msginaadoll]

I for one never thought I would go out in public other than gay/lesbian oriented clubs. I certainly wasnt planning on going out in the daylight. I never thought I would look in the mirror and see anything other than a ugly Cd. I have begun to accept that Im an ok CD and am generally happy with self. I never thought I would come into contact with other dressers. Well lo and behold they do exist and are wonderful beings.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Look at where you are with your crossdressing now and compare it to where you were when you first started.

I first started in my early teens, but it was purely outer wear - skirts and dresses. This continued up until 2008, when I joined here to try and understand what was going on in my head. I had never used make up and a wig before, and no one knew of my little secret. Thanks to what I have learned here I found the long overdue courage to tell the wife. It's been steady progress since then, to the point where now I get out and about regularly and feel great about it all :)


I have two questions;
1- Did you a) even imagine you would go this far or b) was it part of your long term plan?
2- Did you think it would happen a) this quickly or b) take this long?

Prior to joining here I had no short or long term plans. I never thought it would really do anywhere, and I would take my secret to the grave. Very happy that things have changed.

Cheers

Tash :)

[Cheryl James]

The short answer is No. Family and career kept this aspect of my personality under wraps for nearly all of my adult life. Rarely did a day pass when I didn't think about dressing, but there was always too much at stake. Also, a considerable amount of that time was pre-internet. Now, with fewer pressures, I have begun to explore my feelings. This site has been a big help. I've done some things that I could never have imagined and I have only scratched the surface. I am looking forward to see where this leads.

[PretzelGirl]

It has often been said tha how far one goes in this lifestyle or in gender dysphoria in general often depends heavily on oportunity.

I agree with this. I am a latebloomer for the most part and when I did start "fully" dressing, I was older with a moustache. I also had certain agreements with my wife, so there was no opportunity.

As time went on, my wife grew more comfortable (I'm sure I did too) and my opportunities opened up. Then finally the moustache came off and that was the final barrier. So to directly answer the questions, because I was living within the agreements with my wife, I never saw it going this far. Because of that, I never worried about it so this time table doesn't seem long or short.

[CallMeMeg]

Six years ago, for my first time out I had a gg artist make me up and accompany me on a short shopping trip. As we sat in the car she said "say something with a female voice" and I couldn't ~ I was sitting in a car dressed as a girl and saying something was outside my comfort zone!

A year before that, I didn't think I'd ever do anything but walk into the yard for a minute or two. A year before that, walking outside or even past an uncovered window was beyond imagination.

Now my top three things that I have to surmount: going into the ladies' room; eating in a restaurant by myself; and shopping in VS or similar stores in drab.

On the other hand, I just came back from a trip from VA to KS dressed en femme. And I felt fine.

[jenna_woods]

wen I started dressing, I never thought I would ever og out in public dressed fully as a women, never would I do it and now I am liveing as jenna and never weraring men't things again.

[BRANDYJ]

Yes, my comfort zone has evolved from the day I knew I was "different" but had no name to attach to it at that age.
One marriage that lasted 5 years and she never knew. Next my second wife, the first person I ever told. I was scare to death, but had to tell her. She is the one that made me find out all I could about what a crossdresser is. Found out I was far from alone. She died after 10 great years together. Next was my third wife. Much easier to tell her. Her reaction was like " So what". She accepted it day one.

Now my current SO. She knew day one. Loves me as I am and is even happy I'm a CD.
Telling others that I have made contact with. Kind of a new thing, but glad I have told all the right ones and have no problems.

Yes, I've come along way thanks to maturity and the Internet allowing us to research and learn anything about anything.

[Charis]

It has been just shy of a year since I was officially out to myself about this 'lil pastime of mine, and I honestly can't believe how far I've come.

Professionally, of course, I'm still very much a guy. Not that I work in a particularly intolerant sector, it's just that it's none of their damn business ;)

But in my personal life? I have many friends who know about my crossdressing, who have helped me through it and even given me tips on fashion and makeup (some of which I have not heeded, admittedly). I'm currently seeing a wonderful girl who was both fascinated and okay with my crossdressing from the get-go. I saw no reason to hide it from her, even though a year ago I don't think I'd have been able to tell anyone.

Went out dressed last night (oh my god, I have such a hangover at the moment - I'm getting too old for these shenannigans) and didn't bat an eyelid. Though some of the punters out on the town did. ;)

[joann07]

1. Did you a) even imagine you would go this far or b) was it part of your long term plan?

When I first started dressing up, I never thought I'd ever go out in public.
Fastforward to 3 1/2 years later, I go out whenever I can and can go to any place without any sense of hesitation or fear. When I'm out, I just enjoy being my feminine self wherever I go whether it's to the mall to go shopping; running errands at the grocer; dining out at mainstream and TG friendly restaurants; going out clubbing; flying in femme; etc, etc, etc. Whatever comes to mind I just do it without thinking about it.


2- Did you think it would happen a) this quickly or b) take this long?

I have progressed very quickly in just a few short years and I am amazed at all the things I have accomplished to get where I am today.

Hugs!

[Davina Diamond]

It was great reading through this post and seeing how far many of you have come. Especially as you all look absolutely gorgeous and are fab looking girls.

I remember dressing in my mums clothes as a young child but loads of kids do that. I only started wearing stuff in my late teens when I found some panties and bra's that someone had discarded in my new flat.
I indulged only a little and went of CD'ing agin til I met my ex. She had a lot of lingerie and I began to wear them when she was out.

That was 2-3 year ago and after we split I continued my fascination. I never thought I'd go out even in underwear which I did for the first time last week. This seems to have given me more confidence and interest in CD'ing.
I'm happy with wearing underwear in public and going full out when I'm in the house, I'm so excited about getting my wig and makeup soon.

I think all that matters is that you enjoy whatever you're doing whether your going out or just enjoying CD'ing in the comfort of you're home.

Mwah, X

[Sarah Doepner]

I think all that matters is that you enjoy whatever you're doing whether your going out or just enjoying CD'ing in the comfort of you're home.

Mwah, X

Davina, you have hit on it exactly. The underlying idea here is we are all individuals going through variations of the same thing in our own way. The keys are to try and find a comfort level that works for you and move at your own pace.

I'd love to read more from others if you are willing to share.

[t-girlxsophie]

1a when I started on the next level (after 1st marriage ended) I hoped it would go far,but bI didn't have any plan in place how to acheive this

2Didnt think I would EVER dress as much as I do,in a loving relationship with my Lovely Wife by my side,back then I was just hoping for the best future,as a CDer that I could get whether it was quick or slow,and I got the best I could have ever Imagined.

:hugs:Sophie x

[kimdl93]

When I was in my 20's and my first marriage, I would never have imagined being able to dress up and get made up around home, let alone elswhere. I never would have imagined having my own clothes, shoes and lingerie. So, a) I never imagined I'd be where I am today, and b) once I came out to my future wife, I was amazed by how quickly and comfortably I moved ahead.