Unexpected emotional rush

[Nataliebabe]

and it really caught me off guard. I got all dolled up tonight(with the wife`s permission of course) and after almost sweating off a face, even in the A/C, I went into the basement to cool off. Upon coming back upstairs, I sat on the couch and read a magazine while the wife sat in her chair and was working on her laptop. After finishing my magazine, I was wondering what to get into next. So, I watched a bit of tv and the wife says that she was going to head into the bedroom. I immedately freaked and said, "don`t leave me". At that moment, I have never felt so vulnerable, relaxed and wanting to cry all at the same time. It was not a panic attack, but, almost a feeling of helplessness.
The wife stayed with me and that made things much better. We talked a bit and she asked me what I felt like doing. I said that I felt like crying, but couldn`t get it out. A bit like having a word on the tip of your tongue but you can`t get it. We sat there awhile longer watching tv and snuggling and talking occasionally. She later said that she was ready for bed and asked me if I was ok. I turned to look at her and started to cry. She pulleld me close to her and just held me for a bit longer. Eventually I was fine. I have no clue as to where these feelings came from. I do know that I was totally and completely relaxed and felt so good being dressed tonight.

This leaves me with questions. Am I being too analytical? Should I just let things go and enjoy the ride on the emotional rollercoaster? I am well past acceptance of who I am. I am a crossdresser. I am proud of who I am. I love being a guy as well as getting girly and enjoying everything femme. So, why has the vulnerablility crept up on me?

[ReineD]

You'll need to take a little time to try reconstructing your thoughts. Sometimes it's hard to get in touch with our feelings or to know why we feel the way we do. It takes practice.

As an example, I've been afraid of anger for years. I just wouldn't let myself feel it. This is old baggage from my childhood. So for years when I was angry, it came out sideways. I'd experience different feelings and I didn't know what caused them. People would tell me that I was angry and I wouldn't believe them. I always replied that I had nothing to be angry about. Then one day I became enraged over treatment that I felt was grossly, over the top unfair. I won't get into the details, but I knew without a doubt that I was angry. Then my suppressed anger over the situation finally came up to the surface. I didn't act on it of course except to feel it, but I knew exactly why I was angry and I became aware of all the things that had made me angry surrounding this situation over the years. I felt a release like you wouldn't believe! And feeling my anger felt so good.

It is much easier now for me to know when I am angry and why.

So in your case, maybe you have things that you feel sad about that up until now you've not allowed yourself to feel. Most men grow up feeling they must dismiss their feelings of vulnerability or sadness. One of my son's attitudes when he is upset about something is "I don't care!". This will make it difficult for him to face the things that hurt him in the future, to know what it is about the particular situation that is causing him distress.

Sorry for the long post, but the answer to your question lies in your heart. I don't think you're over analyzing it at all. You need to admit to yourself what is going on with your feelings, what is bothering you, what are you sad or afraid of, and then you'll know enough to be able to communicate it to others.

Just like a woman would.
:hugs:

[Philipa Jane]

Hi Natalie.
I cannot offer much in the way of explanation for your tears but I can relate to the event.
On many occasions recently when I have been having a great time with friends I have just burst into floods of tears.
Whilst this has been embarrassing for all concerned (mainly because they want to know why)I have chosen to ignore this and focus on how I feel afterwards.
Tears have a very therapeutic effect and have a chemical in them that relieves stress.
I guess this is why women "have a good cry" to feel better and out live us.
PJ

[Kate Simmons]

The hardest things in this life to deal with are feelings and emotions. Which is why we are really here to experience them.:)

[Sarah Doepner]

I tend to be pretty stoic on the outside, holding emotions in while believing everyone else has lost control and I'm the only one left to keep it all sane. I use opportunities to go camping or a party to vent some of the stress. However there have been times when no chances were there and the pressures continued to build. Once I knew I needed to do something and went to see a professional counselor and in the middle of the session I broke down and cried. The little bit of talk and crying was all I needed and the stress was gone.

Other times it's been almost a zen-like quiet where all the surface distractions and barriers have gone away. In those quiet moments a little leak in the subconscious can begin to trickle through, once or twice resulting in a good and very necessary cry. In those instances I didn't have any overriding problem that I could identify as the source, but an excess of little things that must have constituted the "straws on the camels back". Getting comfortable with your femme self can make that particular barrier go away allowing all the other things to begin to poke through. It's one more reason to accept this and share it with someone you love. It's a chance to bring other things to the surface and not have them bump up against a bigger secret.