The Final Journey

[MargaretJ]

Here's a bit of a morbid thought I had recently. When I die, I was thinking of going en femme. This would be more of a question for the CDers, but would any of you consider having your funeral en femme?

[Kathi Lake]

Truthfully, I have always wanted my lower half in my favorite floral Laura Ashley skirt and my favorite off-white pumps. The lower section would be closed, so no one (including me) will know. As for my upper half, since very few people know, I wouldn't want to freak them out, and would dress appropriately.

Kathi

[CallMeMeg]

We do closed casket so it's moot. I'd like to have told everyone I know about my "hobby" before I get there though.

[Loni]

not sure what the state would even do with the body?
i would be gone and the state would have the body as they have taken everything else. would the state even put me in the ground? of just turn me into ashes,? or a lab project? but yes if i could chose i would like to dressed in something pretty.
maybe in a light blue cotton, with pink lace.
say down to the mid calf just below the knee. pleated with a petty skirt. just a hint of puffy shoulders with very short sleeves.


.

[Vieja]

Although I am getting close to that final journey I have never given much thought to dying. Since my predilection for wearing feminine clothing has always been a secret I expect it is a secret I will keep right up to the end.

Vieja

[Sarah Doepner]

My preference will be for cremation and I'd hate to have any of my nice things burned so no one would ever see them again. Maybe I'll just find a way to give all my girl stuff to a local CD group and they can pass it around at a wake! That or maybe the forms and wigs can go to a cancer hospital.

[Nikki A.]

Probably not dressed, not really sure that that is how I want to be remembered. However a nice bra and panty set, stilletto heels (can't walk in them alive) and stockings underneath would kind of be a nice way to go.

[Stephenie S]

You are gonna be dead, and consequently have no input what so ever. Your family will do what they want with you.

Stephie

[Maryesther M.]

When the Grim Reaper comes along with my name on the ticket I would like to at least have some prior notice, like a diagnosis, so I could safely dispose of all evidence of my hobby before I get too ill or ga-ga.
I'd hate to go very suddenly, like in an accident and have my family find everything. It would leave a very sour taste indeed.

[My Lady Marsea]

I came into the world in a screwed up boi body....darned right I'm going out all the girl I can be.

[Inna]

Well, casket is one thing but when at the gates St.Peter says "maam those Jimmy Choos are phenomenal" I will certainly feel heavenly :D

[Katesback]

I can say one thing. Jan. 09 I went to a funeral for Dave.

The problem was Dave was a man I never ever met. But.......I did know the girl named Katie. Needless to say it was VERY difficult sitting at the funeral for a guy that I had never met!

I still am annoyed for what that funeral was like! By the way Katie was like soo many of the trans people out there that simply did not have the strength to do whatever it took to be happy. She was tormented by this and from what I was told had a big drinking problem. The cause of death I was told was that she fell down her stairs.......................


Katie

[kimdl93]

Don't care how I'm dressed, but I hope to come back as a girl!

[Phoebe Reece]

Funerals are for the benefit of the living, not the dead. If you want to be remembered as a crossdresser by friends and family, you should specify in your Will exactly how you are to be dressed at your funeral. Otherwise, it will be up to your closest relatives to make the decision.

[sandra-leigh]

And a related question: do you want your obit to indicate your femme name?


Myself, I think I would like to repose in one of my dresses, and I would like my obit to mention my femme name. I have not, however, discussed these wishes with my family nor written any will. I should, I know.

[FindingMe]

.. I have to say I've never actually given any thought to what should happen to my body after I exit.

I mean the arsonist in me always liked the idea of Cremation, and even better would be one of them open air pyre affairs. and I believe for them your wrapped up rather than dressed up so it doesn't really matter.

[tricia_uktv]

Ha-ha, life is fun and then you die. I'll start up a new thread and link to this.

The answer to the question though is oooogh yes!

[ReineD]

I always thought that funerals were for the living, to help with the painful closure of having lost a loved one, rather than the departed.

So if your family is supportive of Margaret, then by all means let them know your wishes. But if your transness is something they haven't managed to understand, why would you want to impose those last wishes on them?

Of course you can do what you want, but this is something to consider. :hugs:

[joandher]

I've thought about this one for some time and I've decided to make a C-D OF MY REQUESTS i.e. be buried enfem, the Full Monty,and my C-D would be done while I'm fully dressed,

The C-D will be in the safe only to be played on my demise the combination is at the lawyers only to be handed over on production of my death certificate, and will I chuckle looking down at them when they play it

:hugs: to all

J-JAY

[sandra-leigh]

So if your family is supportive of Margaret, then by all means let them know your wishes. But if your transness is something they haven't managed to understand, why would you want to impose those last wishes on them?

Suppose you had "converted" away from the religion of your family, and in your life actively struggled against portions of your former religion. Would you plan ahead to be buried under the family religion because it would be comforting to your family, if your new religion was something they hadn't managed to understand, or would you think it important to be buried under your new religion (or at least not under the old)? If so then why would you want to impose those last wishes on them?

The above is not intended to be flippant. My beliefs and decisions are important to me, and I could have had a much easier life if I had been willing to "go along to keep the peace" or "go along to make things easier". Making decisions for myself and accepting the consequences has been an important theme in my life: to go along with the family religion would effectively be a betrayal of decades of personal struggles. And in very much the same way, if my trans nature were to be hushed up at my (hopefully long off) funeral, then that too would be a betrayal of long hard struggles.

I am who I am; I've worked hard to be me.

[kellycan27]

not sure what the state would even do with the body?
i would be gone and the state would have the body as they have taken everything else. would the state even put me in the ground? of just turn me into ashes,? or a lab project? but yes if i could chose i would like to dressed in something pretty.
maybe in a light blue cotton, with pink lace.
say down to the mid calf just below the knee. pleated with a petty skirt. just a hint of puffy shoulders with very short sleeves.


.

Maybe one of those cadaver farms where they just lay ya out in the weather and see what the bugs and sun does to ya. :heehee:

[NancyTO]

Well they do put a lot of makeup on the corpse. Maybe you can slip the undertaker some extra bucks when pre-arranging your funeral so they can give you a little more dramatic make up and maybe at least some underdressing.

[PretzelGirl]

I always thought that funerals were for the living, to help with the painful closure of having lost a loved one, rather than the departed.

I completely agree with this. By the time I am getting buried, I am gone. I am not in this body any more and I am done with it. So my survivors can do as they please so that they can get through their grief (or party, depending on their mood).

[AKAMichelle]

I think the answer depends upon how out you are at the end. It is a tough time for your loved ones and they should not be traumatized when they are mourning your passing.

[sometimes_miss]

Nope. Donate whatever parts anyone else can use, cremate me, and keep my ashes in a bucket in the trunk so when you get stuck in the snow, I'm still useful.

[Miley]

I guess some clothes are to die for!

[Rianna Humble]

Since I am a woman, it would be a travesty to bury me as anything else. OTOH, I will be dead, so past caring.

I have to agree with Sandra's take on what Reine posted. Yes the funeral is in some ways about the surviving friends / relatives, but that doesn't mean it has to deny who you were or what you believed just to make the survivors feel good about themselves.

[eluuzion]

No, not for me.

I share the same perspective as the others that believe the events that occur after you die are for the benefit of those left with the responsibility of adapting to life without you.

I will be in my dark suit and left in the family tomb with rest of my family. If I do not have a son, I will be the end of the family name, too.

:love:

[ReineD]

I just want to say that if someone is TS, then of course she should be buried as herself, the way that she's lived since her transition or going FT. This would not be a surprise to her family.

If a CD lives his life as a man out of personal choice, then it shouldn't be an issue. He likely won't want to be buried as a woman. But if he chose to live male while secretly wishing to be female because he wanted to spare or live happily with a loving, yet non-supportive family, then why would he wait until his death to make a stand? The time to do this is before you die. Anything else seems almost vindictive.

As to the religion analogy, I don't think it's a valid comparison unless a family is staunchly against the departed's preferred religion. But even then, if he had chosen not to worship in his preferred religion during his lifetime in order to spare his family, what good would it do him to be buried in this same religion? Isn't it a bit too late then, and what would have been the purpose of sparing his family to begin with?

[Claire Cook]

My preference will be for cremation and I'd hate to have any of my nice things burned so no one would ever see them again. Maybe I'll just find a way to give all my girl stuff to a local CD group and they can pass it around at a wake! That or maybe the forms and wigs can go to a cancer hospital.

Yes, I would want to give my things to someone who could use them. A CD wake is a great idea!