I may have taken the plunge

[christine55]

I have been spending 80 to 90 percent of my time femme. Have begun going out
during the day openly and not trying to hide myself from the neighbours. My trouble has always been guilt about losing my male self. My male self is still there, except she has taken on many more female characteristics. I finally feel
that I am truly becoming female, not being secretive is such a wonderful thrilling feeling. I am not as passable as some of my photos suggest but much of the problem is my mannerisms, posture, facial expressions etc. Have been working on
all of these. Don"t let yourself slip back into guy habits just because you are alone. Correct female deportment makes such a difference.

Hugs, Christine

http://myweb.cableone.net/rjoh2/newoutfit.jpg
http://myweb.cableone.net/rjoh2/newredtop.jpg

[Freddy12]

Sometimes it is difficult not to feel guilt, but I think There is no reason to feel guilt about losing your "male" self. As you continue to explore your feminine side, you will be more and more who you REALLY are. You will be more and more comfortable as a woman. Keep at it, girl!

[Phyliss]

I never used to think of having a "guy side" I just went about my daily business with out thinking. In the last 10 years or so, I've begun to realize there's more to me than I thought.
Now that I've discovered another facet of my being, I really like it. That's not to say I now dislike my "guy side", it's more a case of liking girl stuff so much more. Not only the clothes, and makeup, but the feelings and emotions are nice to have. Something I couldn't allow myself to do before.
I simply am so much more comfortable with my self. I guess I never understood the discomfort I had, figured it was simply the way things are.

[noeleena]

Hi. Christine

Thats one of the biggest issues iv seen with in the trans commonuity .is guilt. Iv yet to figger out why . tho i know it has been placed on people because of wrong teaching by some .
I refused to take that on & that goes back some 50 years & i know its damm hard for some its nice to hear you are accepting your self & that too can be hard ,
As you were saying your male side ..is ..taking a back seat as you grow as a female / woman , youll get to know your self in a way youd never do as a male , glad its working for you ,

Have you joined any womens groups , that is a really good thing ,one reason of cause is more acceptance as a woman , & you can have fun as well , all the best .

...noeleena...

[Kathleengurl]

'lo Christine,

Good for you! It's not always easy in this neck of the woods. But I hope you find it rewarding.

Respectfully,
-Kathleen

[Chari]

Great advice from previous posts! To admit you are "spending 80 to 90 percent of your time femme" is a big accomplishment, which IMO is admitting you enjoy & prefer your feminine side. At that high percent, you should do all you can to continue to re-enforce those feelings! Your guy guilt is similar to the moment we first put on feminine attire, knowing it was taboo, but continued on to find what gender is comfortable for us. Your guy side is trying to fight back, giving guilt, and wants to stay in control. Your statement "don't let yourself slip back into guy habits just because you are alone" answers what to do. YOU have to decide and make the choice at those moments to be Christine or your guy side! You have also learned there is so much more to being feminine full time than just a dress, lipstick, and high heels!