Does this count as a purge?

[Molly Wells]

My wife has been out of town this week and I have spent some time as Molly. I was enjoying the pink fog while at home after work and went for a couple of drives just to get out for awhile.
On Tuesday it was a really messed up day at work. At the end of the day as I was locking the facility my boss called on my cell and was really ticked off about a business decision I had made to resolve an ongoing issue with a contractor. The tone was very abrasive and caught me wrong and we ended up having words over the situation. When the conversation ended the boss failed to disconnect from the call and after a minute or so I could hear voices coming over my phone so I picked it up and said "hello." I got no reply but I could hear my boss talking. The boss was really ticked and I could hear him talking to another manager and really disparaging me and just raking me over the coals. This went on for over a half hour and I finally disconnected the call. Needless to say my mind was in a whirl and my whole mood was shot. I went home and this was really bothering me, blew any mood I had for Molly.
I was really concerned that I might lose my job over the situation and was really upset. As I thought about everything going on I even began to blame Molly for occupying so much of my mind and for distracting me so much from other things I could be doing. (I never allow Molly to be around at my work except in some of my thoughts).
Anyway, I began to think all of the worse and Molly caught a lot of the blame. I ended up gathering just about all of my female clothing, make up, wigs and all and bagging it all up to get rid of. I took it all out, ready to deliver to a donation site. I knew that I could probably never give Molly up totally and I admit I did hold onto some of the more difficult items to obtain (breast forms, etc). I put them in a locked box in the attic.
All of this because I was thinking that I was just really a screw up and Molly was a major part of it all.
The next day at work my boss never spoke to me, ignoring me the whole day. I could feel the tension and it was a really troubling day. We conducted essential business by email, very short and to the point. Interestingly, the decision I had made turned out to be a better choice for the company than the boss had wanted done. (saved the company more money).

I was still concerned about the outcome of the heated phone conversation and was bracing for the worst. I decided the appropriate next step for me was to write a letter of apology to my boss for the tone of the phone call and how it was handled. I left it on his desk before I left yesterday.
Today it was as though everything was back to normal at work, though I do expect there will be a discussion about the event. I suggested in my apology that we should look for a way to discuss some issues and find some resolution.

I do feel like my distraction brought on by the pink fog has had an impact on me keeping my focus in some other areas including my job.

I have reconsidered the purge and have decided to pare my wardrobe down somewhat and self impose some limits on Molly's time for a while and be sure to focus and keep my priorities in order.

I expect there are others that have had similar things happen. I would like to know about some of the struggles and how well it has worked to "keep her in check."

Thanks for listening,


Molly

[vivianann]

Hi Molly, sorry you had a rough day with the boss. whatever you do dont blame it on Molly. Shit happens, bosses can be hard to get along with at times. Dont purge, you will only regret it. what I have done in the past was put all of my fem stuff away in storage for as long as 10 years one time, when I went back to get my femme clothes, and wigs, and shoes, etc., that was when I was thankful I never purged. Hang in there my friend, things will get better.:hugs:

[eluuzion]

Emotions and business never mix well.

Reporting to a supervisor with weak management skills is a tough assignment. When you add some serious deficiencies in basic social interaction skills, it makes every day a long day.

One option is to always avoid any apologies (especially written) for any task required in your job description that you genuinely gave your best effort to perform well. If you fell compelled to do something, structure it as an invitation to provide guidance on how accomplishing the task could be improved.

Managers of that caliber have a tendency to view their staff as "scapegoats" to cover their own limitations.

It has nothing to do with CD.

No, it does not count as a purge. It is just a warning ticket with no points assessed on your CD license. Just be more careful when driving through areas with handicapped people next time....lol

just my opinion... :love:

HaveFun/BeHappy

[Molly Wells]

"No, it does not count as a purge. It is just a warning ticket with no points assessed on your CD license. Just be more careful when driving through areas with handicapped people next time....lol"

I like that!

Thanks Eluuzion

Molly

[victoriamwilliams1]

I do not think that was a purge.

[PretzelGirl]

I wouldn't even worry about whether it was a purge or not. The meat of the issue is that Molly is you and not a separate entity trying to mess with your job. I am trying to put your first two lines together and I am left wondering if you were looking forward to leaving and dressing as Molly and your boss's call interrupted that and messed with your mood while still on the call.

If I am reading that correctly, it is something to think about. Both your male life and Molly have to co-exist. Don't let the desire to dress get in the way of the things you have to do. But!!!!! Definately give Molly her time and her just due. If something comes up, prioritize appropriately but don't let it turn into a negative against the other side of you.

And if I read the first two lines wrong.... :hugs:

[kimdl93]

As stated above, it doesn't matter if you almost purged or not. Moot point.

what is important is that you may rightly have become preoccupied (or perhaps somewhat obsessive) with dressing. And if you feel that has distracted you from your work, then you're probably right. So, now its a matter of getting things in proper perspective. As noted above...there are not two of you...one being Molly...dressing is simply a part of who you are. If dressing has begun to become a distraction, then its right and proper to put limits on it, to find a way to keep balance and focus on the job.

I also think you were wise to extend your apologies to your boss. We all make mistakes at work and at home. You've shown the wilingness to take ownerhsip of yours and to learn from them. What more could one ask from an employee.

[MichelleOBrien]

I'm not sure that quite qualifies as a purge, just maybe a re-orient of priorities. But just remember that most bosses are assholes and that in the end you did the right thing anyway. Life throws us some major speed bumps, but we get over em.

It's just one of those things.

And it's not the fault of your CD personality, because that's a part of you, regardless of the name used.

[giuseppina]

Hello Molly

Don't be too hard on yourself.

If your boss's behavior is part of a pattern, I would be looking for a new job, even in this economy. The environment you describe at work is not one I find productive.

If you do choose to look for alternate employment, I would keep your activities in this regard from everyone at work. Use of work computers for this purpose is foolhardy at the best of times.

[kellgrl66]

well rather than kicking the dog you kicked Molly and punished her who has nothing to do with it. Talk to Mel Gibson lol. Its ok though we all have those days

[NicoleScott]

We all screw up, and not all bosses are skilled at handling employees who screw up. You will be better for the experience if you take accountability for those times when you mess up. This time may or may not be one of those times. But don't blame Molly. And do you really think that reducing the size of Molly's wardrobe will help you focus on work more? Reality check needed.