Would it just be easier if everyone you see on a daily basis knew?

[KristinSkye]

Lately I've been becoming much more confident about everything in my life including my femininity and my urges to dress.

I think that had a lot to do with this really vivid dream I had a few nights ago where I pretty much came out to everyone I knew through a status update on Facebook (geeky right?) The idea was that I would come out in my post and then put up a "I don't care what you think, if you truly know me you won't care" defense. As with most dreams everything seems normal and rational until you wake up, which I did and immediately realized that what I did in my dream would not have the best outcome in real life.

I did think about it more, and rather than telling the world I think it might be equally liberating if just friends and people in my life that I see often knew. Anyway part of me says it would be easier as long as I could maintain the "I don't care what you think" confidence and attitude, but the realist in me says that the possibility of criticism and being 'talked about' would not make it worth it.



It was a nice dream while it lasted anyway :)

[eluuzion]

Dreams are great aren't they? Kind of like the internet world, where you can be anybody you want, do anything you want...and not suffer any consequences.

Unfortunately, the "real" world is not as forgiving.

"Those who live by the sword often get shot by those who don't". :hugs:

:love:

[Rio]

Hi! It was interesting to read your dream, I think that some dreams often try to bring balance into the dreamers waking life by compensating for either a lack or an excess in the dreamers waking life.

A GG at work told me she’d recently had a dream where she had found stacks and stacks of money in her house, for me this was another example of the subconscious trying to achieve equilibrium by adding something that was missing in waking life, in this case it was money which equates to value or worth, so from this one could conclude that in her waking life she undervalued herself or had a low sense of self worth, through the dream her subconscious was trying to balance this attitude by bringing to her attention that she is in fact of great worth and value.

I don’t know Facebook so well but the ‘Status’ update in your dream could literally represent your letting everyone know your current status meaning your fem side. I wouldn’t want to say that your subconscious is recommending you come out but it might be trying to compensate for what you feel you can’t bring about in your waking life.

Can you remember any other details from the dream? Were there any responses to your dream Facebook posting?

I had a CD themed dream two nights ago, I don’t know if you now the novelist Agatha Christie? In some of her books she has a detective called Hercule Poirot and in others she has a lady called Miss Marple ….in my dream Hercule (the male, who unlike his namesake is something of a dandy!) was retiring because he had solved his last case. In my dream I suggested that he perhaps “transform” into Miss Marple so that he would have more mysteries to solve :heehee:

Hope you didn’t mind me waffling on there! :chatterbox: Oh! and I do think it would be great if everyone I knew on a daily basis knew I CD’ed ….regardless of the gossip, initial shock etc I think I would actually be much happier showing the authentic me :battingeyelashes:

[jessica renee]

Yes it would be easier, as I wouldn't have to hide that part of me. But it would also be harder in that I know some of my closest friends wouldn't accept it or me because of it.

[Steph.TS]

Yes it would be easier, as I wouldn't have to hide that part of me. But it would also be harder in that I know some of my closest friends wouldn't accept it or me because of it.

this is my thoughts exactly. it's because my family/friends wouldn't accept it that I hide it, I'd rather it be hidden than deal with their judgment or comments.

[JulieK1980]

I've told most of my close friends. It is easier now, but I must say, it got very difficult at first, and I lost many "friends" over it. However, now the friends I do have, I feel a closer bond with because I know they accept all of me.

Its definitely not easy, and you should definitely put a lot of thought into it before hand.

[KristinSkye]

Hi! It was interesting to read your dream, I think that some dreams often try to bring balance into the dreamers waking life by compensating for either a lack or an excess in the dreamers waking life...In my dream I suggested that he perhaps “transform” into Miss Marple so that he would have more mysteries to solve :heehee:


^^ that sounds like a fun dream haha. But in all seriousness the concept of events in a dream compensating for things in a person's waking life is interesting.

I unfortunately can't remember any of the posts or responses to my update; I made my status update can came back and I either didn't even bother reading the comments or they were just a blur. The bottom line for me was that there was that weight lifted off my chest and things were going to be fine.

Using the example of your co-workers dream I think I may just use this experience to become even more confident and accepting of myself. Thanks for sharing Rio :)




... I lost many "friends" over it. However, now the friends I do have, I feel a closer bond with because I know they accept all of me.


Jody, that reminds me of one of my favorite quotes of all time:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr. Suess

[Carly D.]

There is a part of me that does wish certain people knew about my cross dressing tendencies but.. To me, I would rather like to have it both ways as strange as that might be to say or hear.. And what I mean by that (have your cake and eat it) is to have some people or everyone know but to still have this secret thing I do every once in a while.. To me it is a secret and has been and the fact that I do cross dress and nobody knows (as fas as I know) that is kind of a turn on..

[KarenS]

I would love it if everyone "knew". But, I am real paranoid about going public. My wife and one other long-term friend knows, and I have several gurl-friends I have met, but I shudder to think about announcing. I have been out in public several times including clubbing and on a date. But, family, friends, and job fears hold everything else back.

[Rianna Humble]

Whilst I don't think I would do it via facebook, I have certainly found out that letting people I see every day know about who I am has made life much simpler for me.

I was expecting some loss of friends or some hostility, but so far I have been lucky. Even some acquaintances who I thought would not understand have offered me their support. One even asked me to promise that if I was having a tough time, I would let her help.

People at work have commented on how much calmer I seem since I came out to them and I have found it so much easier to chat to the other girls in the office - despite me being old enough in some cases to be their mum.

I work in a call centre and my manager was slightly worried how customers might react to me when they hear my name but a male-sounding voice. So far the only reaction I have had on that score went like this

Me: "... you're talking to Rianna"

Customer: "That sounds like a girl's name"

Me: "Yes"

Customer: "What a pretty name"

[Angiemead12]

Due to circumstances a few years ago I forced myself to come clean with my loved one, my friends and my family.

Now I smile without guilt, I can enjoy being myself around the supportive friends, at home without a worry, if a friend dropped by then it was ok to hang out still.

Im now in a dilemma, as with anything, I want more, to be out and wear whatever I want without worrying. Which has me stuck, even though I dont care the repercussions to friends and family maybe to much to bear for them, or they may not have an explanation.

I know my SO is with me all the way but who else can I win over to my side to make it ok to be me.

[vivianann]

I have come out to most peaple in my life, and yes it does make life much easier.

[Kate Simmons]

I think just being yourself in either mode pretty much accomplishes the same thing Hon.:)

[Sara Jessica]

Perhaps it would be easer in the sense that compartmentalization of this aspect of my being is utterly exhausting and frustrating. Then again, for everyone I know to be aware of this could open up an entirely new can of worms.

[RobinScott]

I am out to and dress around, most of my "true" friends. Of those, some of those are even supportive of who I am by calling me by my chosen name of Robin, and saying 'hay girl', Calling me Sister, using Her, She and such. I even have two different GG friends to go out shopping with.

So yes, it is great to be able to be open and your self around friends.

Love,
Robin

[Persephone]

Hi KristinSkye! It sounds like you had a really great dream!

And you have a great question, " Would it just be easier if everyone you see on a daily basis knew?"

Interesting that everyone who has replied so far has seen your question from the crossdresser's perspective.

I wonder though, does it really become easier for our friends once they know?

[Rianna Humble]

From what I've been told, knowing about who I am has made it easier for some friends and colleagues to understand why I behave like I do, so to that extent at least it has made it easier for those friends and colleagues.