Are they the same?

[Lucy_Bella]

Do you think emulating a female versus wanting to be one as the same? I don't find the attraction of going out with men and being treated as a lady in my version of crossdressing.
Don't get me wrong I see nothing wrong with wanting to be a female. I do not paint my finger nails , I would never mess with the eyebrows, I have no interest in any kind of beauty salons. I only wear certain Items and types of clothing not because they are femme but because it's what I like.

I favor my male side most, I would never expose the fact, I even emulate a female to a stranger unless it's a need to know bases. I am just curious , I know Cding comes in all levels . My closet version suits me fine as others need to get often . Sometimes I get the need to get out but it passes and I have no regrets of explaining my behaviour. Anyways .....

Thanks..

[kellycan27]

I would have to say...not the same at all.. I personally have no desire to be manly in any way,shape or form. That being said..........it takes all kinds to make the world go round. If what you do as opposed to what I do works for us..it's all good.:)

Kel

[Maryesther M.]

First & foremost I am a bloke and that's not going to change anytime soon.
I use CD-ing for my private fun only. Closet it shall remain.
The make-up, wigs, clothes &c. are all camouflage so I can collect pics. of myself looking a lot younger than I now appear in drab.
I also love the feel and appearance of femme clothes, but I would never want to BE female.

[sissystephanie]

Lucy, I am kind of like Kelly, but with a major difference. I love to wear feminine clothes of all types, but I have NO DESIRE to be a woman!! I would never date a man!! I do think that the two ideas you mentioned are not at all alike. Some of us CD's dress just because we like to, not to become women! Some CD's really want to become women, and some just want to act like women and be treated as a woman! As I said, I am not one of those!!

[Rianna Humble]

I'll add my voice to the chorus of those saying no they are not the same.

I think that there are several different aspects to MtF cross-dressing

* some just want to wear feminine clothes either because they like the feel or for the thrill - and if that works for them it's great.

* some want to emulate a woman but remain a man - again, good for them

* some of us want to be or know that we are women, that's great for us

But you know what's better still? We are all part of one big family!

I think it's great for you that you enjoy wearing certain types of clothing without going in for all the other trimmings and long may that enjoyment continue.

OTOH, I am in a similar camp to Kelly - having no desire to be manly in any way, shape or form. We both be treated like a lady, but one difference between her and me is that she does want to go out with men. Another is that she is very pretty.

[AllieSF]

Two different things. Emulating is basically copying and trying to act like a woman, while wanting to be a woman is just that, the desire to change genders. Apples and oranges. For now I am happy trying to emulate a woman in my own way. I still enjoy my male side.

[Joanne f]

It is far more complex than just being one or the other , when you say emanate i guess you mean dress and act like a female but females are more complex than that , there are many types and life styles for a female so getting all dressed up and going to salons is not for everyone .
The why you like to dress will very a great deal from just liking to wear a skirt (which many men do ) to liking the feel of female clothes because they are female clothes thought to wanting to make yourself feel like a female or wanting to know what it is like to feel like one for a short or long time , then there is the wanting to be one or need to be one which in my opinion has nothing to do with the clothes but obviously the clothes would play a part in who you are and that does not necessarily mean pretty dress`s and salons.

[Freddy12]

They are NOT the same.

There is a wide range of folks who like to crossdress, and others have said it very well. I like to emulate women, and have some desire to be one, but I'm still a male, and that will not change, at least any time soon.

I guess for me who I am was made clear when a guy gave me a second look, and winked. I had no desire to encourage him.

[Barbara Jo]

Yes, there are so many variations in CDing that there is little what can be cosidered the norm.

I once knew a CDer who dressed very feminine in every way except for one thing. She absolutly refused to wear panties and made it well known to her CD friends.

I believe that if the truth be known, many of us would reveal some idiosyncrasies or, at least, something that would not be considered mainstreanm CDing.

Just enjoy what you may and don't worry about what you don't. :)

[Lucy_Bella]

Thank you everyone for the replies... I agree we are not the same , just as I thought this whole forum would agree. We know this, but ask a stranger on the street I bet 90 percent would say we are.

Is it that what we do is so rare that so much of it is unknown? I also bet ,ask a stranger on the street if we as a group ,enjoy crossdressing all the time and it's a matter of choice and we all love men.. The answer would be yes from the stranger I am sure.

Now I am not out to ruffle anyones feathers because I know some of this is true for some, I have no problem with that .. I am just amazed that this behaviour isn't new and yet so little is know about it..

Thanks again have fun..

[Sammy777]

Do you think emulating a female versus wanting to be one as the same?

I don't find the attraction of going out with men and being treated as a lady in my version of crossdressing.

Don't get me wrong I see nothing wrong with wanting to be a female.

I do not paint my finger nails, never mess with the eyebrows, no interest in beauty salons.
I favor my male side most


Excuse me if I'm wrong, :doh:,
But it sounds like what you are basically asking is:

Are Cd's [emulating a female] and TS's [wanting to be one] the same?

To that I would say defiantly not.
We may be in the same league, but we play for different teams.
Team CD does lose people to team TS though sometimes, lol.

Remember, wanting to date men, women, or both is your sexual preference and is separate from all this.
Being a CD or TS really has nothing to do with being straight, bi, gay or lesbian.

Not to nitpick, but TS [MTF's] do not want to be, or become Female.
We have a female mind, albeit with a body that needs a bit of fixing to match what we know we are, lol.
You can change the body, but you really can't change the mind.

The last difference, most CD's will say they have male/female sides more or less.

TS's on the other hand generally do not.
Personally, knowing how to do "manly" things doesn't make me feel manly.
I'm just a girl who can change her own oil in her car.
So manly? Nope not at all. lol.

[Miss Misery]

I'm trying to log off but I keep having to stop and talk!

How about this scenario in the "emulate vs be a woman" discussion? I want to be a woman "while I am dressed" including experiencing sex from a woman's perspective (as much as I could) BUT only with my spouse (a GG). I fantasize about being with a male's anatomy as long as there's no "person" associated with it - (kind of a below the neck thing). The only "person" I would want to be with is my SO - so she could grow some male parts or buy some - neither one's ever gonna happen but one can dream.

I guess I'm saying, I don't like men but I want to experience the sexual side of being female - closest I could come up with (flag me if this is unacceptable talk on the forum) is pegging - but that's not gonna happen either.

Now - Am I screwed up or what?!

[Miss Misery]

Girls - I put myself out there with this last post and was hoping to hear something back from someone who might feel something similar but all I'm hearing are the crickets chirping. For a "newbie" that deafening silence can be crushing. Help me out even if you totally disagree and think my feelings are weird - that's still better than "chirp, chirp, chirp".

Thank you for understanding.

[kellycan27]

A lot of cder's have a fantasy about being with a man, personally i think it's part of the pink fog thingy.. makes for feeling more like a woman. Not all. mind you, but quite a few. :2c:

[Miss Misery]

THANK YOU, KELLY!! And I hope I didn't come off rude in the post about face shapes etc (me not wanting to post my pic) - that was most certainly not my intention at all. Please accept my sincere apology and thanks for "throwing me a life preserver" by responding to this thread.

[Lucy_Bella]

ViTILA ,I understand and nothing wrong with being honest..I agree that the pink fog can put some thoughts in your head that you would never do in guy mode...I know for sure that the male side of me would never allow any sword fighting....

[ReineD]

I believe there's a difference.

A while back I ran across a site I quite like: Alice Novic of "Alice in Genderland". She defines the two types of transwomen (http://aliceingenderland.com/TheTwoTypesofTranswomen.html) as "love-to-be-women" vs. "act-like-women", whether the love-to-be-women folks choose to be women full or part time. It was a different way to look at it than TS vs. CD, since so many CDs think and act like TSs yet they won't transition or go FT for a variety of reasons.

@Vitalia .. if you're screwed up for thinking the way you do, then so is a huge segment of the members here. lol. You are definitely not messed up, nor are you alone. But you'll figure this out by the time you have several thousand posts under your belt. :hugs: Welcome to the forum!

[Joanne f]

Vitalia,
your way of thinking is not uncommon so don`t worry about that ,
i know gender and sexuality are not the same but they are linked whether we like it or not so if you are in any way TG (thinking and acting like both genders) then it is quite reasonable to assume one might think like that in a sexual form ( thinking and acting from both sides of the gender divide)

[AKAMichelle]

Do you think emulating a female versus wanting to be one as the same?

They are definitely different things. I am a cd'er who enjoys emulating a female when dressed, but I can never be a female 100%. I can't see myself transitioning into a woman, since so much of me is not female. Hiding my cd'ing would be as big a mistake for me as transitioning and living as a female for the rest of my life.

[Miss Misery]

First, great comments from all of you and, Lucy_Bella, I'm not trying to hijack your thread but you do raise an excellent question that each of us (and our SO's) have to wrestle with. Where do we fit? I see the CDer vs 24/7 TS as not 2 separate and distinct groups but points on a continuum (a line) ranging from say, folks who wear only women's undergarments but no dresses, hair, makeup.... to those that transition to fulltime women with hormone therapy and surgery, living their lives 24/7 as women. That allows for the whole range of behaviors we see in our unique group rather than trying to say "you're either this or that".

On a side note - I think that if I was a GG and saw male-me dressed and made up and I told her I was trying to "act like a woman", I would be disappointed (can't think of the right word). In reality, in my CD life, I am trying to dress and feel like a woman but only IN ONE SMALL PART OF a woman's experience (dressing/appearance). There's so much more to each of us than our outward appearance and to reduce women to clothes/makeup/jewelry etc (all of which I love!!!) is unfair and actually demeaning.

[kellycan27]

Thank you everyone for the replies... I agree we are not the same , just as I thought this whole forum would agree. We know this, but ask a stranger on the street I bet 90 percent would say we are.

Is it that what we do is so rare that so much of it is unknown? I also bet ,ask a stranger on the street if we as a group ,enjoy crossdressing all the time and it's a matter of choice and we all love men.. The answer would be yes from the stranger I am sure.

Now I am not out to ruffle anyones feathers because I know some of this is true for some, I have no problem with that .. I am just amazed that this behaviour isn't new and yet so little is know about it..

Thanks again have fun..


We have to look to ourselves. I think that the major reason that so so little is known is because of the secrecy, guilt, shame, and fear that a lot feel about what they do. Go back and read some of the "acceptance" threads and you'll see for yourself.

[jenifer m.]

i look very manly as im an amature body builder,but i also never wear mens clothing any more.i just like womens styles better,and i feel the need to express my feminine side through androgenous clothes or flat out dressed as a woman.i guess most folks that see me think im gay or something but thats ok with me.i dress for me not the rest of the world.and quite frankly womens clothes are more comfortable to me,and i like how they look better that mens drab stuff.

[MsJenna]

I think I fall into the emulating a woman camp, because I have no desire to change my body on a permanent basis. That being said, I find that the more I put on womens clothes, the more I want to. I could see myself wearing femme jeans and shorts, for example, all the time whether in guy or girl mode.

As far as sexuality goes, I really do identify more as bi, though i favor women much more than men. Don't know where that puts me in the grand scale of things, and am quickly reaching the point where I don't care. I just want to enjoy life and live how I want to live.

[Miss Misery]

I enjoy some of the things women get to do - makeup/clothing etc BUT to do it all the time is not desirable to me. Like many have said about things we enjoy " making a hobby we enjoy into a job can easily destroy the enjoyment." That's just me. I think women have it really much harder than men on a daily basis - look how they're expected to present themselves everyday. Wow. Also, if I'm wearing jeans aas casual wear, I don't want them up my butt and hugging my waist and legs. If it's a look I'm going for then fine. But those ain't feeling casual!

[Annaliese2010]

Do you think emulating a female versus wanting to be one as the same? I don't find the attraction of going out with men and being treated as a lady in my version of crossdressing.
Don't get me wrong I see nothing wrong with wanting to be a female. I do not paint my finger nails , I would never mess with the eyebrows, I have no interest in any kind of beauty salons. I only wear certain Items and types of clothing not because they are femme but because it's what I like.

I favor my male side most, I would never expose the fact, I even emulate a female to a stranger unless it's a need to know bases. I am just curious , I know Cding comes in all levels . My closet version suits me fine as others need to get often . Sometimes I get the need to get out but it passes and I have no regrets of explaining my behaviour. Anyways .....

Thanks..By your own words I don't think you're emulating a female at all. For your own reasons you're just wearing some female clothing sometimes and otherwise remain the man that you are. So...to each their own. I don't think it's right minded to emulate anyone or anything. It's better to just BE whoever you ARE. And everyone has the right to express who they are; no one is right or wrong, better or best. As long as you're being true to yourself - that's what really counts, IMHO.

As for me, I don't want to be a woman. I just have a female aligned someone that's already in me - call it an alternate identity perhaps - one that so happens to be female and therefore opposite to the man I am most of the time. The two are often at odds because their ways and means lie at opposite ends of the gender extreme. So I'm one or the other depending on mood and opportunity and the real world things impinging on me. Annaliese isn't just a handle the man in me uses when he 'cross dresses'. Annaliese is a real person, and when she rises he fades. She is a different state of mind that surfaces in me; one that already IS womanly, not something outside-inspired or something theoretical to emulate, invent, parade or pretend. And yet, whichever side dominates me on any given day, whether I'm a man or immersed in womanly ways as Annaliese, expressing femininity smooth and naturally, it doesn't however mean I'm attracted to men - I'm not - just the opposite, the very thought repels me.

The man in me likes only GG's. The girl in me is the same, but because she feels so strongly identified in a female way herself, her dislike for men but strong desire for other women has a decidedly lesbian feel. Extending this same reasoning, and whats confusing to most people is how in addition to GG's she might also be attracted to other M2F TG's - but only those who, unlike you, and much like herself, are totally identified with - totally immersed in - and totally expressing that real and true feminine quality of being living inside of them. Such a relationship between two genuine, authentic M2F TG's also has a decidedly lesbian feel, just like a relationship between two GG's. Confusing, no? But straight-up real.

[Karinsamatha]

I am the opposite. I have plucked and shaped my eyebrows, Love the feel of my epalated body. In general I am finding that I am much more than a man mentally. I do not want to have a relationship with a male, I am horrified by the thought of waking up next to something as hairy as I was.
:hugs:

[Frédérique]

I don't find the attraction of going out with men and being treated as a lady in my version of crossdressing. Don't get me wrong I see nothing wrong with wanting to be a female.

Crossdressing has so many varieties, it’s like living inside a giant seed catalog! Speaking of “Big Boy,” I’d rather be a BIG GIRL and avoid trying to attract the attention of men. Treat me as a lady? Sure, but I do it for myself, a self-inflicted, self-generating way to BE, wonderfully fun all on its own. How many men know how to properly treat a lady? Remember ladies?I think you have to have the innate motivation to do so, a more restrained appreciation of all things female that doesn’t manifest itself in solitary crossdressing. Avoid the M/F gender clash and its attendant bewilderment, according to societal precepts, and still cultivate the desire to be a woman. Why not? I would advise attaching zero seriousness to this activity – those wrinkled brows are very hard to deal with…:heehee:

[charlie]

I would have to say...not the same at all.. I personally have no desire to be manly in any way,shape or form. That being said..........it takes all kinds to make the world go round. If what you do as opposed to what I do works for us..it's all good.:)

Kel

Hello Lucy!
I would say that you and Kelly are polar opposites. The rest of us probably fit in between somewhere. Myself, I love dressing and going out to the mall, movies, bar or shopping. I also tried going on a date (loved the idea of being treated completely like a woman) but hated to idea of treating my male companion as anything other then just a companion. It wasn't fair to him either....so never again. The dinner, dancing, and drinks were fun though! The goodnight kiss and other expectations were awful.

[ReineD]

The dinner, dancing, and drinks were fun though! The goodnight kiss and other expectations were awful.

Sorry Charlie, but um ... how did your wife feel about that? Or are the two of you no longer together?

But you describe something that I've read here many times. A date with a man is useful as a way to offset your femininity, but anything beyond that is distasteful to you. So would it have made a difference whether he saw you as a woman, or as a man in a dress? I asked this once in a thread a few years ago and many of the CDs said that it did make a difference. If they knew that the man saw them as another man, it would have taken the magic away.

[tricia_uktv]

I think its different for all of us. But I also think that time emulating may lead to time being.

[Nicole Brown]

I really like the analogy of the line with those of us who just like wearing woman's clothing and emulating a woman, but no more, at one end of the line and those of us who truly feel that they want to be a woman at the other end of the line. But I believe we do more than just fit into a place on the line, I tend to think of the line as a path that we all travel. Some of us enter the path and remain at the very beginning while other progress further alone it. Those of us who just enjoy the pleasure of wearing feminine clothing and emulating a woman never move past the first few bricks on the path, while those of us who want to transition and become a woman travel the entire path to the far end.

There is really no right or wrong to where you finally settle on the path as each of us is different with different needs and desires. The important thing is that we each properly assess ourselves, our needs and desires to ensure that we align our final destination along the path with who we are and what we truly want to be.

I will speak for no one other than myself because we each need to make out own decisions. It has taken me many many years of self study, soul searching and introspective assessment to reach the point on the path that I currently occupy. For me, the path was entered quite a few years ago and I find that I have traveled quite a distance since I began this journey. I have not yet reached the far end of the path, but I can see it, and hope someday to reach it.

So yes, I do want to be a woman and fully understand what that means and fully understand what will be left behind. To know one's self well enough to make this type of a statement requires a long process of assessment, self examination and therapy. This type of choice is not something to be taken lightly nor should it be by most of the people who participate on this forum. This far end of the path is reserved for those select few who truly are willing to leave possibly everything behind and begin anew as the person the know they should be.