Acceptance: Full or Partial

[Nikki A.]

Not really sure how to phrase my question but let me try
Do you think that society in general is more accepting when we dress fully or partially (man in a dress).
As for me I'm not sure I have the guts to dress and not try to complete the picture. And yet I have gone out fully dressed (wig & make up) for the occasion (casual if shopping, dressed nicely for a wedding)
I know that some of you do and I guess I'm interested what are peoples reactions. It seems to me in full mode you might blend in more and not even be noticed whereas in a mixed mode you are more noticable and unconventional?
I'm not asking for right or wrong but more of your thoughts.

[BRANDYJ]

I do not go out dressed other then to clubs that it is quit acceptable and common. Call me chicken. I think the more we look like a GG, the more we are accepted. Most might read us, but think that we are in transition or have transitioned. That is getting more acceptable with more education about TS people. However, those that put on a dress or other articles of clothing that is clearly designed for women, yet do not put on makeup, might have a beard or otherwise go out with an attitude of "I don't care what people think", will still be looked upon as weird, sick, demented. Men dressing in all women's clothes without trying to look as genuine female as they can are still laughed at and in general, not thought so highly of as those that have transitioned or otherwise appear to be in transition to blend in.

[Joanne f]

The difference in the two things can make it a bit hard to actually know , a male in a dress or skirt then that is what they will see so there maybe more attention on that person depending on how girlie the dress or skirt is , someone in full dress , makeup/wig then they will blend in more so that is going to offset a proper judgement as less will notice , so which would the public prefer, someone who is open and shows exactly what they are or someone who likes to try to fool the public and hide what they are ( OK i am not taking into account of those who believe that is who they are themselves) but that is something else .
I have this theory that if you could get the public to accept men wearing skirts, dress`s, feminine tops then they would be more inclined to accept the ones who go all the way but then i am a bit mad :heehee:

[AKAMichelle]

I think the answer would be that society accepts us more fully dressed. That doesn't mean that society in general accepts us either way. I think it is easier for people to understand full dressing over partial dressing.

[Rianna Humble]

I may be an exception here, but I've found acceptance in either mode. Several months back, before I got my wig, I was travelling to my beauty salon in femme clothes with varnished nails but no make-up and no wig and I got into a conversation with a GG on the train - initially about our respective finger and toe nail colours. Towards the end of the conversation, she said that she admired me for having the courage to dress in a way that obviously made me comfortable.

I will admit that most people who have seen me both with and without wig etc have commented that I look better with, but I found I was reasonable well accepted in either mode. It may be because (as the GG said) I was comfortable with who I was and how I was dressed.

[Pythos]

I atteneded by friend's wedding wearing a traditional Chinese silk gown (though mine was Rayon, lol). The type of gown is called a chenonsam or something in that order.

It is a very sleek garment that is a long tight dress, with REALLY high slits on either side of the legs. The neck line is what would be called Mandarine.

Mine however was fitted to fit my frame, a woman could not wear this. When I wore it I wore black silken mist hose, and mens ankle boots. I styled my hair in a nice male style, and that was it.

The reactions when I came out of my room after squeezing into this thing were ALL positive. The wedding guests which included my friends family really liked the look. As we drove to the wedding cerimony, my friend's sister in the midst of a completely unrelated converstaion just said "I have to say, You look incredible in that, you are hot".

The slits of this style gown essentially form flaps at both the front and the back, and essentially the gown is a VERY mini dress with front and back flaps. It felt very interesting walking with this gown on, as the wind gently lifted the flaps up, but never so high as to be a problem.

At the city hall there were many people, and I got a few looks that were not nice, but most were astonished. After taking off my Ankh and putting it in the tray at the metal detector, I stepped through the device. It went off.

Understand at this point I have three items on. My hose, the gown and my boots. So what could be setting off this dumb thing? I go through again and again it goes off. The male security guard just hovered the detector wand over me, and we found out it was the zips of my boots. He was very nonchalant about the 6 ft tall dude in the black and gold gown. LOL.

In the end I spent seven hours in that outfit, and would have gladly spent another seven. Over all it was very well accepted. I later learned that co worker's of my friend relayed to her they really liked my outfit.

*note, the wedding party were in fancy dress, though many did not do so, which was rather a sad thing*

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4029/4251900817_2dc022115a.jpg

This is the outfit, but with makeup and wig as worn for a later party I went to.

[Emma England]

People tend to ignore you however you are presenting.

Even in full femme, others will still see you as a man in a dress.

[Karen_Ski]

Since I took the buy out from my employer I pretty much live 24/7 but even before that I did what I wanted en femme and took the "F** 'em i thy can't takea joke attitude" fr the past25 years. I dd what I wanted just tried to dress to blend in. For the pst 15 years I he been attending a UCC chrch,the wouldn't me if I showed in drab.They love and accept Karen. think many look for open arms acceptance. Raher than look for tha look for where you will be accepte ad take what God ives you.

[Billijo49504]

Because women come in all shapes and sizes, if you go full to pass, in the situation you are in, they may just wonder if you are a guy or just not see you at all...BJ

[eluuzion]

Well, as one option in answering your "question", let me ask you a question...

The most recent time you left the house. (to the store, etc). Who was the last person you verbally interacted with in public? (the clerk at register, etc.).

Okay, now describe that person with as much detail as you possible can remember. Haircut, height,eye color, weight, facial features, mannerisms, scars, tatoos, moles. How about make-up? How about jewelry? How about clothing? What were they wearing...patterns, colors, material, style? How about shoes? How about voice patterns accents and pitch? How about teeth? How about gait and stance? How about the "feeling" they projected? Wedding ring? etc etc

Now, try that with the other people close to you at that time (behind you in line, etc).

now, tell me exactly what YOU were wearing...

Not easy is it? People are typically focused on themselves and ingrossed in their own "mission" when out & about. They mostly only notice people and events which directly affect them. (door slams on you, dog barks at you, guy stood too close or brushed against you, etc). Most will also notice irregularities such as handicapped, loud noise, annoyances, hot chicks, etc.

So, we are just not as "interesting" to others as we think we are. We are also guilty of "selective" paranoia. (we think everybody is looking at what we are uncomfortable about in our public appearance or presentation).

When we do see something "weird", we rarely take much time to ruminate about it, as it may be temporarily amusing, but is just not that important overall. Those that take the time to make an "issue" of others who are "different" for the most part...do not have enough to do in life (to choose to spend their time on such frivolous pursuits). In short..."deep down, they are pretty shallow", lol.

Next time you are feeling sorry for yourself and falling into the "nobody cares" mode...unfortunately, you are to a great degree...right...lol

[Rianna Humble]

Well, as one option in answering your "question", let me ask you a question...

The most recent time you left the house. (to the store, etc). Who was the last person you verbally interacted with in public? (the clerk at register, etc.).

Okay, now describe that person with as much detail as you possible can remember. Haircut, height,eye color, weight, facial features, mannerisms, scars, tatoos, moles. How about make-up? How about jewelry? How about clothing? What were they wearing...patterns, colors, material, style? How about shoes? How about voice patterns accents and pitch? How about teeth? How about gait and stance? How about the "feeling" they projected? Wedding ring? etc etc

The SA at Savers drugstore, probable age around 18 or 19, short black hair, about 5' 2", blue/grey eyes, average weight (never been much good at guestimating in lbs) petite nose, mimimal make-up, wearing a black Shwarzkopf teeshirt. Couldn't see below the waist. No visible scars, yellow nail varnish, local accent, alto, nice teeth, no ring may have been wearing a couple of bracelets, projected a feeling of fun.

Can't describe the next nearest person, I didn't see them (the store was quiet at 11:45).

How did I do? (BTW, I have always noticed people who serve me in shops and in restaurants).

[sissystephanie]

As a widower, I live alone. My children know that I CD, but do not want to see me that way. I do go out to eat a lot, and most of the time I am fully dressed enfemme. But of course with no wig or makeup. Every place I go that way, whether it is to a restaurant, shops, or even the Post Office, I get treated the same as any other person. Most SA's, or other people in similar positions, only care about taking care of the person in front of them so they can make money! They really don't care what kind of clothes you are wearing, as long as they are decent! I have had waitresses tell me they really like the outfit I have on!! Of course, it is totally feminine from the skin out!! After all, I am a Crossdresser, even if I look like a man while dressed!!

[Nicole Erin]

Probably better off going all or nothing.
One problem some folks have with TS/CD is if the person is presenting 1/2 and 1/2.

If you are making an honest effort and going all the way, you will have better luck.

[jessica renee]

I was just out this weekend and went into like 4 or 5 places wqith no problem, even though I was totally dressed in "girl" clothes I wore no makeup and did not wear a wig. No one seemed to notice or even care, even the SA at the one store I went back to about a hour later because the item I wanted to purchase, I didn't have enough cash to purchase. So I came back later because I didn't want to use my debit card with my male name on it while dressed as a woman.

[Kate Simmons]

I think if one goes "all out" to dress it's probably tolerated by more people as even if they "read" you in their mind you are either a CD or TS. Whereas if you simply wear one article of feminine clothing and still look like a guy, you tend to come off as an "oddball" or eccentric to most people. That's just how it seems to be my friend.:)

[noeleena]

Hi.

society .

Are we looking at males ,women ,children , trans or people who know us ,

How are we presenting male or female ,

For this kid as a woman only .

Men, well some have a hard time any way accepting us as women some dont care & a few accept with out saying a thing ,

Women, well most accept a few ask or wonder why yet dont have any problems ,

Children, most i know ask & then its oh , okay, & there after no problems meeting up with & talking ,

Trans thats quite a mix & has been covered here .

Friends , thats really been the best, accepted , a few have wondered why & have tryed to understand the whys & wherefores , yet show acceptance & dont have any concerns, & yes we talk about every thing & being in groups makes that so much easyer,

As to people in general say in large crowds im in front of them doing photography so am seen & yes i talk with quite a few. i should say they will come up to me & talk .

Now , the ? is how am i perceived , i really dont know to be honest . my pic shows how i look most of the time . . all i know is im accepted by most i come in contact with .

Or am i being blind in thinking i am accepted as a woman with a male back ground or a bloody minded i dont care ,
well i do care , i dress nicely & people say as much except when choping fire wood overalls for that, you know what im saying ,

I have to come at this from another way of being accepted ,
what i dont have is looks i dont pass as a female i dont have any crowning glory ( hair ) so face wise has to be over looked, pretty much every thing else is passable .

what i do have is im out going talkative, put people at ease, my normal manerisims as a woman are me not put on . i disarm people when coming up & talking with them ,

Now a lot of this is to people iv never met seen or spoken to & can carry a converstion off with out any problems .
This for me is the total other way as i was . for many years try 50 years so a big change .
If i dont have acceptance, what is it i do have with people ,
& maybe i dont wont to know. or really , i do.

...noeleena...

[Butterfly Bill]

I go out and about as very obviously a man in a dress, and I think people appreciate the honesty of it. I'm a person who has the courage to be free. I don't usually see the same reaction from men who are trying to disguise them selves as women (but don't succeed at it.

[Sky]

I don't believe society as a whole has a preference for either full dressups or partial ones.

When I was younger I tended to dress up all the way. I would not go out if I wasn't happy with my makeup. The majority of the people I met didn't say anything. A few would sneer or make a comment in passing. And it never got any worse than that.

Now I don;t go out in femme that often but I tend to mix a piece of female clothing in my everyday guy mode. For example, shopping in heels. And the responses are pretty much the same. I still meet the occasional heckler -rarely- but I can;t say I see any difference. For the most part, people just live their lives and let us live ours. The way it should be.

[Inna]

Ok, the realist here, so, it might bite but I believe its how it is.
For most of us, being en fem seems natural and we have a need of society to view us same. However, 95% of us still looks quite manly even in full attire. Natural reaction to the passer by is: first, confusion, brain trying to make sense out of the nonconforming clues, second, realization that we are obviously confused wearing woman's clothing, third, labeling of us being mental, freak, confused.
Those are natural reactions to the image we project, for some more progressive thinkers it will be more amusing rather than repulsive.
Take the facial makeup, wig, perhaps heels and just leave a summer dress on and you suddenly transformed your self into a progressive, artistic, nonconforming statement. To the onlooker you are obviously a man, quite open at that but you are sending a message of non conformance. I believe second event is much stronger and more believable to the folks on the street because it is fairly obvious to them you are not hiding but promoting this alternate view. However to us this event sort of defeats the purpose of being entirely feminine.

To me the only true pinnacle of our quest is full, entire immersion into the world as a female soul followed by female body, and to achieve this illusive state, lets just say you aether have to have a commitment of an navy seal, purse as deep as Marianas trench, or for those of you blessed with genetics( lucky Bi...s :-) good makeup. Only then will you walk the walk, talk the talk and every where you go you will be just you with full acceptance of the society.

[eluuzion]

The SA at Savers drugstore, probable age around 18 or 19, short black hair, about 5' 2", blue/grey eyes, average weight (never been much good at guestimating in lbs) petite nose, mimimal make-up, wearing a black Shwarzkopf teeshirt. Couldn't see below the waist. No visible scars, yellow nail varnish, local accent, alto, nice teeth, no ring may have been wearing a couple of bracelets, projected a feeling of fun.

Can't describe the next nearest person, I didn't see them (the store was quiet at 11:45).

How did I do? (BTW, I have always noticed people who serve me in shops and in restaurants).

Hiya RH...

"Verweey Gouud Yahb, Gwasshoppa" !! :thumbsup:

So, how long did you say you have been a cop? hehehehe

Your "honorary junior associate detective diploma" is in the mail. Due to the recent economic "adjustments" in our advertising and "markutting" budget, please be advised the only "badges" we current supply are those found in our cereal boxes. :tongueout
:heehee::D:heehee:

[jenifer m.]

i do partial dress every day.and i guess the response usually is that most people just think im a gay guy.i have no problem with that.as i feel that gos with the territory.i find thats how im most comfortable.i also go out quite often in full dress,and yes your right most folks dont even pick me out.but its alot of work to get all dolled up.so i cheat and do half dress the most.

[Emma England]

The only problems are those in your own head.

Go out as you please, and no one else cares.

[Chari]

We should always be comfortable and confident in who we are - regardless of the gender packaging or if it is "full or partial", as long as our attire is proper for the event and age appropriate!

[Chickhe]

Just the other day, I was shopping at the dollar store and I saw what appeared to be a 20 year old girl wearing bright colors and a tinkerbell outfit. She was not attractive looking and was with some other kids who I could only discribe as lesbian or possibly one transgendered person, but they were all rather unusual looking. From what I could tell no one stared or made any comments... and if you wear something like she was, you are almost asking for attention. ...so I think for the most part, you can wear anything and survive, but if you dress up to appear as something people have seen before you probably will be more or less invisble. So, my vote goes for the full dress vs. gender bending.

[Sarah Doepner]

I don't know which way more acceptable in the eyes of society. I appreciate those who are pushing the boundaries by wearing some clothes that are not intended for their natal gender, however I rarely mix and match. My goal is not to see what I can get away with by wearing a womans top with my jeans, a skirt with a mans polo or a dress while wearing no makeup or wig.

The image in my minds eye, the feel of the clothing, the scent and texture of the cosmetics and the final look in the mirror all lead me to dress fully. I want to present as close to female as possible, regardless of how well I do it or what polite society expects or accepts.

[Rianna Humble]

Hiya RH...

"Verweey Gouud Yahb, Gwasshoppa" !! :thumbsup:

So, how long did you say you have been a cop? hehehehe

Your "honorary junior associate detective diploma" is in the mail. Due to the recent economic "adjustments" in our advertising and "markutting" budget, please be advised the only "badges" we current supply are those found in our cereal boxes. :tongueout
:heehee::D:heehee:

:rofl: :rofl: :roflmao:

But seriously, I do agree with you that most people don't notice those around them and even more so those who serve them. It's a pity, waitresses and SAs are human beings too and deserve to be treated as such.

To try to come a little bit back towards the track, I know that my voice is a dead give away (at least 2 octaves below where it needs to be), but I have found that people accept me and respond to the lady in me because I treat them like whole people.

The other day, a GG who is about 35 years younger than me and who I only knew from when she worked in a restaurant I like to visit saw me in the street, waved and came running over to chat because she knew I'd be interested in her news (she'd passed some exams and been accepted for university).

[Steveo]

if we'er talking about acceptance from the public, then trying to hide the fact that we are actualy male, defeats the object, don't we all want that nervana where we group of poeple, are just that a group of poeple out like millions of other poeple going about their chores, but might just have on a skirt on that day, to those that need to go all the way, i say good for you, but this issant getting blokes in skirts and feeling happy to go out to the pub or shop or gararge. i am not being hipocrittical when i say i where laddies jeans laddies tops trainers, it's no big deal. i have seen guy's in the street in skirts it does happen but not in any great number, bye for now

[charlie]

Hello Nikki!
I guess I just do not have the desire to dress half way. My first time out I dressed in a skirt, top and heels without makeup or wig. I was at a gay bar that catered to CDers and was taken aside several times and told where to go to finish the process and offered help. I now go out fully made up and go out in public. Be it luck or that I look OK, I have not had any problems going to the mall, movies, bars or shopping. I have been called MAM or Miss and not heckled or laughed at as yet...and it has been two years. My take is not that I "pass" perfectly. It is that I look enough like a woman that people thinking about their own thoughts don't give me another look.