Wishing for confidence

[~Kelly~]

I was out shopping today (in guy mode) and found out that one of my favorite stores was having a super clearance sale. Being an outdoor themed store, the majority of the clothing they had was geared toward fitness (which worked for me seeing as I was wanting to get a new sports bra (I know, I know) in a bad way. Well after much milling about, I finally found all of my items and proceeded to the checkout. After looking at my items (women's shorts, a sports bra,and a camisole w/matching thong) the lady cashier looked at me and said "Are these a gift....(long pause) or are you just crossdressing?" I know it was said somewhat jokingly and I wanted so bad to say that indeed they were for me (even if jokingly), but instead replied that they were a gift. I know it's not that big of a deal, but I wish I had the confidence in that situation to not feel "ashamed" of what I was doing. (ashamed is not the right word, but it seems that I was put on the spot)

[Sigrid]

Next time (as if you get asked this question all the time) you might try saying ... "They're a gift.... for me." ;)

Given enough time (like, several minutes) I can often think up a snappy comeback.

[Karren H]

I was out shopping today (in guy mode) and found out that one of my favorite stores was having a super clearance sale. Being an outdoor themed store, the majority of the clothing they had was geared toward fitness (which worked for me seeing as I was wanting to get a new sports bra (I know, I know) in a bad way. Well after much milling about, I finally found all of my items and proceeded to the checkout. After looking at my items (women's shorts, a sports bra,and a camisole w/matching thong) the lady cashier looked at me and said "Are these a gift....(long pause) or are you just crossdressing?" I know it was said somewhat jokingly and I wanted so bad to say that indeed they were for me (even if jokingly), but instead replied that they were a gift. I know it's not that big of a deal, but I wish I had the confidence in that situation to not feel "ashamed" of what I was doing. (ashamed is not the right word, but it seems that I was put on the spot)

I sometimes say "I know she will like them"!!! Of course I'm talking about Karren!!! And I do say they are for me alot, at some stores they don't even ask if i want a gift reciept anymore!!! I don't think it matters what you say, as long as your buying something you like!! BTW, shop enfem and they don't ask that question!!!

LOL
Karren

[Richelle]

Kellygrrl

Do not worry. One day you will have the confidence to say that they are for you.

Just enjoy the trip to that confidence

Richelle

[susiej]

... the lady cashier looked at me and said "Are these a gift....(long pause) or are you just crossdressing?"

I hate it when I come up with a great line -- half a day after I or somebody else needed it.

Nonetheless, perhaps the answer to the cashier's question was a wink, and "Yes, that's right" :).

Hugs,
Susie

[Laurie Ann]

I believe that confidence comes from within. You will gain more confidence as time progresses and you get more comfortable in your own skin.

[susandrea]

You were put on the spot so don't feel guilty.

That sales lady (the "just" in her question was uncalled for) was out of line and being rude. Maybe she didn't mean to be, but it would be great if she ever says something like that again someone looks her right in the eye and askes, "Why are you asking? Do you consider it your business to know about my personal life?"

But....I think you handled it better, actually. It didn't give her a chance to judge you and dislike a crossdresser who put her in her place, and then spread a nasty story around, furthering a negative about "those kinds of people".

Best to be polite. If you ever do have the confidence to admit the clothes are for you, I hope you (or any CD) would have more patience and grace than I would have with such a nosey jerk (especially when in a cranky mood!)

[Wendy me]

oh i love them remarks at the sales counter ...i love to play along with them oh for shure i would have told her why yes thay are a gift for me and i do crossdress.. then i probly would have left her with .... "you know it's not realy womans underwear if you buy it for your selfe"..............

[Toyah]

Don't know about the big stores but the shop I buy my best stuff from I started by saying they were for my wife.I took a couple of pictures then showed them and said it was me. Now when I go back they spend ages making sure I have the right thing, sometimes I feel like I have tried on the whole shop I guess you have to be fairly sure before you say though.

[Jamie M]

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself kelly , it takes alot of courage in the first place just to go shopping for stuff in town . Alot of people can't do that for themselves and end up doing in online or something.

Don't worry about being poracitve about cd-ing just yet . That'll come with time , believe me :)

In a few months or a year , whatever , you'll be walking tall with the rest of us and be all like "yeah , and ?" if you get any more comments .

For now just keep on enjoying those sales :D

[mchelle]

Next time (as if you get asked this question all the time) you might try saying ... "They're a gift.... for me." ;)

Given enough time (like, several minutes) I can often think up a snappy comeback.
works for me. the saleslady yesterday at makeup counter asked if i was looking for a gift i said a gift for me. they were very helpful and nice. i asked the one lady for some advice on makeup, shaving and shopping.
and ive found very helpful salespeople at V Secret that i have told its for me; they help look for sizes and point out things and almost every time in last yr or so let me try things on.
it took me awhile to get up the nerve so take little steps. you have already buying them in the stores. i did online, then went to stores (did use a mistress type letter at first saying i was ordered to buy lingerie) then tried some, then other times when they asked what size i admitted my size and they helped and a few of them even looked in the dressing room when they asked how things were going and saw me in nightie or bra. most are helpful. after all you're spending money, which is why there are there.

[Rachael Warren]

I have had this happen a few times, and I usually just retort with "do you think they would they fit me?" and frown as if thinking about it. That seems to diffuse the situation.

I find it harder when I am buying items for myself and my wife at the same time, we are different sizes, and that can create some funny looks from the counter staff. My standard remark is to say, before they speak, "Can they return these if they don't fit", invariably the responce is the programmed speech about returning goods; and again the situation is diffused.

As a rule though, I prefer to shop with my wife, she rarely gets asked about anything at the counter. Cowardly, yes, but I usually choose the path of least resistance.

Rachael. :)

[Deborah_UK]

I think the more you go shopping the more confident you'll become.

Several years ago I went into a C & A's and selected a blouse, queued up to pay for it and the assistant jokingly said "I don't think this will fit you" - I just responded with "it had better otherwise I'm bringing it back". She laughed with me (not at me), and I paid for the blouse.

More recently I was looking for a new foundation and went shopping with a gg friend of mine, she started asking the assistant what sort of foundation should she get for a friend "as a present", the salesgirl asked what sort of skin type and colouring was her friend, so I just blurted out "this type" pointing at my face. The salesgirl didn't miss a beat, just said "oh it's for you?" when I confirmed that it was she totally ignored my friend, :) and helped me choose a good foundation.

Years previously I would have run away red faced never to have gone in that shop again!

One regret I did have around the same time as buying the blouse was that I bought a pair of white stilletto shoes in Faith, I'm UK size 8 in shoes (10? USA), so most stores carry my size, and the salesgirl obviously knew they were for me and asked if I'd like to try them on first, and I declined :(

[RachelDenise]

Kelly, at least you had enough confidence to go in the store and get the things you wanted! Being a stand-up comedian with snappy patter takes years of training and practice. I consider what you did a victory!!!!