Waiting for that flood of compulsion to kick in

[Ann Smith]

Finding myself in an unfamiliar situation. Couple of days from now the house will be mine only for a solid week and I'm seriously wondering what will happen. Basically not sure I'll be getting my girly-girl on, which is too wierd. In times past I would be feeling myself pulled by this intense tide of need. The urge would be so intense there wouldn't be a choice. Even if I were trying, because of work or time or whatever practical reason, I was helpless trying to resist.

This time I have the desire to be my femme self, but it's more in my head than racing through my veins. Does this make any sens to anyone?? To get fully feminine I need to do some shopping -- the wardrobe and cosmetics inventory is a bit low right now. But that's never held this girl back in the past.

I know it's right for me, I know I need the time as Ann. I've always loved that sensation of bringing Ann to life... from the spiky heels all the way to the dangle earrings she loves. I guess I always counted on that unstoppable force of compulsion to carry me along, and it's really not there like it used to be. If only I could snap my fingers and be transformed... any other girls know that feeling ? I'm really concerned I will fall down on my crossdressing duties and lose this nice chance. It's just a wierd thing and it's really bothering me.

[KayleeDahl]

You are definitely not alone. I can remember a number of times when I waited and planned for the week that I would have alone, and when it neared, the drive just wasn't there.

The interesting thing is that I recently had a period that I could be free to be me, and I soaked it up more than I ever have. Taking advantage of every single moment of it! Aren't we girls unpredictable? :)

I'm sure that even if you do pass this time up, there will be another, and you will get that choice again.

Hugs
Kaylee

[RADER]

Ann
You do not have to be dressed to the nines all the time for Ann to be happy.
Look around you, only a small % of GG's are dressed to the the top of the
hill. Most GG's have a top and jeans on, Flats or running type shoes.
Being comfy is the fashion today, so a Bra, Panties, top and jeans is
not going to far on the budget, and blending in with todays fashion. :2c:
Rader

[NicoleScott]

Since you will have time, slow down and enjoy not only being dressed up, but also the transformation process itself.

[CallMeMeg]

Ann, I've been there and always felt I've wasted opportunities. Sometimes, I'll say "I'll just put on a skirt, just because I really need to be more comfortable in one" and once I do, I'll not feel right without a blouse, and of course I need a bra and forms and hose and shoes.... Opportunity found. :)

[Ann Smith]

Guess I came to the right place with my reachout for girl's guidance. All thoughts on my dilemma are so very appreciated. Plan for the week -- Just listen to my inner femme spirit and follow it -- to the makeup counter or wherever it takes me. :-)

[Miss Misery]

Hi Ann,

I've got a week to myself as well but my SO and I just came to an understanding a week or two back (her take is - "I don't want to be part of it" - meaning sex or helping me with makeup etc - "but you live here too and can do as you want. I don't have a problem with that." She said she didn't have a problem with me being dressed around her, watch TV, read etc. Just no direct involvement on her part.

Well, since I've been not dressing for a long while, I don't have anything and my wife is a no makeup gal. No help there. So I need to start building things up again- my wife just wants to know when I do buy something so she can not think someone's stolen our credit card number. Well, I want to just go bonkers and start buying everything I want BUT ..... I've seen what can happen if you go too fast. She gets scared/worried etc and pulls back, losing the good situation I'm moving towards. So no major dressing for me (although I did buy a little black lycra dress last week) this time 'round.

Finally, you mention compulsion?! Today I got cleared to post here and I've been on the site for 6 or 7 hours straight!!! :D:D:D:battingeyelashes::battingeyelashes::):) I need to get off and get some work done but FINALLY getting to take part in dialog w/ other CD's is holding me on the site like a Star Trek tractor beam. "Must.. sign off... but ...force is too strong! This could be the end! So long ....."

Ciao.

[Kate Simmons]

Just sounds like you are becoming a person rather than an "thing" my friend.:)