Tips for leaving the house

[melony]

Apologies if there's a thread for this but whilst there are threads for going out, confidence in going out, passing etc......I thought I'd start something for your tips and suggestions for actually getting out of the house.
And, this is more a thread for those who don't want to be recognised.

I am sure there are places we can all go where we won't be recognised. But, it's actually getting there in the first place! It's that getting out of the house, into the car and then away from the street.

It would be useful to get views from both the UK and USA since there are subtleties that add a difference eg more compact streets in the uk. Seems to be a larger variance in sunset times in uk in summer than in US.

Particular preferred times for leaving that are influenced by neighbours not being around? etc etc etc

Lots to mention so I'll leave it there and let you do the rest..........

[bianca66]

Put on heels, painted toed foot out the door...

Yep, I used to only go out at nights but since I've been making new cd friends, I've been forced to go out during the daylight hrs. If the neighbours have seen me, they haven't said anything yet. If they do say something then I will inform them about my sister that comes around and borrows my car :giggle:

I don't think about the "passable" thing anymore as I am going to get outed by someone, somewhere at sometime, no matter how good I think I look.

"Just do It"

[MargaretJ]

I have a problem getting out in the summer in the UK, so only ever get out when it gets dark early. I always get made up and dressed before going out. If I am wearing trousers (not a common occurence) I will just wear them. If I am going to wear a skirt, I will either put a pair of jeans over it, or take it off until I get away in the car. Over it all I wear a large Barbour type, outdoor coat, which helps disguise and hide the breastforms, and also have the hood up to hide the long hair. I almost always take the risk, and just wear the heels to get to the car.This is just to get out to the car and get away from the house. On return, the above again, the wig comes off and the heels, as the street lighting is not in my favour, but I usually keep the make up on, with the hood up, so I can have some en femme time at home to round of the night Can't wait till the end of BST.

[CallMeMeg]

I park in the garage when I can, when I'm dressed. But coming home I have to pass a stop sign right before my house, no matter how I come home. If I've been seen, no-one's said anything. If I had to park on the street, I'd put on my best look and sunglasses and I will bet no-one will make the connection. Maybe they'll ask who the woman who borrowed your car was. You can worry about that later.

I had a Very Nosy Neighbor. Once, before I was going out, I went into the yard to water some flowers just outside the door. When I came in, the phone rang ~ it was the VNN. She asked to speak to my wife, and seemed very confused when I said she wasn't home. For the record, even dressed, I look nothing like my wife. Different build, height, weight, hair.

[Nikki A.]

I'm like Margaret, pants and shirt over the dress, wig in the bag. Who is going to notice makeup from a distance with sunglasses on.

[StaceyJane]

If you are afraid of being seen around town, go to another town.

[holly_n_ok]

Just something to think about that I didnt before I went out the first time. Maybe its just cause im a big ol chicken but i never thought about practicing my voice. When it came time to talk to the lady behind teh counter I didnt knwo if I should use my regular voice or my girly voice. I tried using my girly voice but it was very unrehersed. And I was very nervous actually never even hearing myself talk like that. :)

[kaleyg]

leave my house en femme! just too risky unless it were like 2am.

my secret: i take my clothes and makeup with me, find a hotel, walk thru the lobby like i'm staying there (carrying my stuff in a bag), go to the lobby bathroom (theres always one), then change in a big stall in the ladies rest room. in some places, theres a mirror in there! then walk out en femme with my guy stuff in the same bag. if i'm lucky, theres a different exit door near the bathroom so i dont even have to walk past the front desk! when my evening is over, i do the reverse!

[Daenna Paz]

Put on heels, painted toed foot out the door...
I don't think about the "passable" thing anymore as I am going to get outed by someone, somewhere at sometime, no matter how good I think I look.
"Just do It"


I think this is the attitude you have to have to step out of the door successfully. I'm not saying you don't do a risk assessment ... just that the end definitely is worth the means!! ;^)
Just my .02 ...

[Leyna]

At least in my part of the country, the days of paying attention to what your neighbor is up to are long gone. I've only been out once, but I walked from the door to the car like I owned the place. Because, you know, I do! :heehee:

[donnatracey]

leave my house en femme! just too risky unless it were like 2am.

my secret: i take my clothes and makeup with me, find a hotel, walk thru the lobby like i'm staying there (carrying my stuff in a bag), go to the lobby bathroom (theres always one), then change in a big stall in the ladies rest room. in some places, theres a mirror in there! then walk out en femme with my guy stuff in the same bag. if i'm lucky, theres a different exit door near the bathroom so i dont even have to walk past the front desk! when my evening is over, i do the reverse!

And no one has seen a "guy" enter the ladies room? And no GG already in the ladies room when you enter as a guy? Wow, think you are lucky no one has reported that and had a security person check out the ladies room....too risky for me....:eek:

[Faith_G]

Be sure to take your keys along.

[AllieSF]

Since my grown son lives with me, I do what I can at home and finish up on the road. I dress almost completely and wear baggy pants and shirt over everything. I do my base makeup and sometimes more then put on my sun glasses and a baseball hat and head out the door. I put as much as I can in the car ahead of time, including my wig and remaining makeup and makeup remover for the trip home. I then drive to a nearby train parking lot of shopping mall parking structure and finish up my makeup, wig and jewelry. I just reverse the process when heading home. If I know that my son will not be home, I just drive in the garage en femme. It works great for me with no problems, so far.

[pennylee]

In drab, cruise around where you are going to be. Scope out where it is safe if you gotta "go". Sears and J.C. Penny and burger rots have theirs just inside the door and you can see if there are a bunch of kids in burger death! It sure beats sanitizing your car seat or getting your clothes "messy"!:2c:

[vetobob9]

I wear my stuff under my clothes when I go for my morning walk is at like 330 in the morning because I have to walk from my house. I usually head back around 430 in the morning. At 4 in the morning, no one notices anything even when you are walking, especially if they are driving by.

[eluuzion]

Hiya Melony,

So, the goal is to go out in “public” dressed. Our objective is to generate “strategies” to go from inside a residence to the outskirts of a neighborhood without being “discovered”.

Here is a real long version of what is basically, just common sense… :heehee:

I’m in the “privacy” business and deal with these types of issues on a daily basis. I am just going to toss out a few generic “concepts” and “tips” that improve the odds of not drawing unwanted attention to yourself, even when you among acquaintances. Hopefully they will help when applied to each individual set of circumstances.

The primary mistake most people make is that they focus on themselves, rather than the arena they will be operating in. Everybody has routines. It is human nature. Every environment has a “climate” that is defined by the people and events that regularly inhabit it. The key is not the in the disguise, it is usually in the “timing”. The key to the timing is knowing the routines. Yes, it is time consuming. But if the goal is to go “unnoticed”, it is time well spent. You don’t have to be James Bond; you just apply common sense to close observation. It’s like planning a surprise party with no guests.

Okay…the neighborhood routines…. and some common sense…

Night is more concealing than daylight (between dusk and 9pm).
Most homes/neighborhoods have these “routines”…

5am-7:45am (prep and depart for school/work)
8am-4:00pm (housework, mail, delivery/repair activity)
4pm-dusk (arrivals, lawn, joggers, kids, busy!)
nightfall-9pm (indoor oriented dinner,tv,etc)
9pm-11pm (lock down, sleep prep)
11pm-12am (familiar ignored, strange watched)
12am-4am (any activity suspect… to cops too)

Those are basics, here are some specifics…
The only real concern is the all neighbors that can view your house from their house. I mean all that can see any part of it. Usually it’s about 3-4 homes on each side and across from your house. You already know their “routines” (and they know yours just as well). You just never pay close attention to what you already know. But you would notice something “unusual”. The nice part about “night” is that it eliminates the daylight social expectation of “waving” to the neighbors.

You just tally up all the activity and you will end up with the best “window of opportunity” (ideal time) for you to make your exit. Same applies to returning home. One of the critical factors of course, is whether you have an enclosed garage to enter/exit your car.

The rest is adapting to your specific circumstances. Always have a plan A, plan B and a contingency plan. (before you leave) Chances are, at some point you will need all three. Always take the shortest route from point A (house) to point B (main road outside neighborhood).

Best I can do, you can pm me if you want specifics…have fun. :love:

[Fab Karen]

Least likely time to get noticed? middle of the day. But you should realize your neighbors aren't sitting with binoculars watching your house. If anyone sees you from a distance they may think some woman is visiting. Personally if a neighbor sees me & has put 2 & 3 together & gotten 4, I don't care if they know. They have no influence on me, it's my life.
"I am what I am"

[victoriamwilliams1]

I used to go out at night an before my s.o. left her job I would leave out the house dressed and I did not care what the neighbors think! I say take your time and if you leave your home dressed study the habits of those around you. Believe it or not everyone has repeated habits.

[Karen__Starr]

I am in a very active neighborhood where I am sure if I went out fully dressed there would be some neighbors looking to get some from me as it has happened in the past where the last time was over the past two months. With that said I usually dress 95% female with enough male clothing to not have neighbors take notice in regards to going out early evening. I do tend to go out a good deal all day long where starting out in the morning has never been an issue as most neighbors are late risers.

[Pipi]

Going out at home would be to scary for me. There is no discrete way of doing it and I would be terrified if someone would find out.

So I limit my public experiences to journeys. I'm always careful to choose a hotel which offers direct access to the parking, therefore I often stay at motels although I could afford something nicer. But dressed en femme in an elevator of a conservative hotel.... No thanks.

[Emma England]

To get out of the house, I have to put the keys in the lock and turn it.
On the other side I lock up the door with the same key. Then I walk away from the house. That's all there is to it.

Risk of what? People recognizing your true self?
If you are really worried, then go to another area, where friends and family are not around.

The key is your own attitude. When you realize that you are not actually doing anything wrong, this is when and where you can go.

Regardless of how you dress, there will always be quite a few who read you. It is not so bad with strangers - who cares what they think anyway?

[teather]

On a few occasions in wintertime, when it's dark before 5, I took a set of clothes to work in my rucksack - stretch mini, bra, knickers, tights, top, hh boots and a couple of balloons. Before leaving the offices I'd change into my alternative clothes (in a toilet stall), fill the balloons with warm water and put them in my bra. After that I'd cover up, putting my jeans and jacket on over the top. In these days I used to commute by train so I'd need to walk into the centre of Edinburgh to Waverley station before catching the train home. Back at my home town station there was a quiet spot close by where I could take off my jeans and switch my shoes for the hh boots to complete my walk home via quiet back lanes. If it was particularly quiet I'd take my jacket off and carry it for the thrill of being outside completely dressed. When I got close to my house there were a few more quiet spots where I could put my jeans, shoes and jacket back on.

I also used to do similar for my early morning dog walk with jogging bottoms a chunky jumper. I'd leave my cover up clothes in a black bag at the start of my walk and pick them up on my return - I knew from experience that meeting someone whilst out was extremely rare and it was easy to avoid meeting anyone that might come along.

Hope that doesnt seem too weird :o.

[Nicole Erin]

The street I live on is full of stupid hillbillies. I just go out the back and leave thru the garage. Down the alley, making my escape from Bubba Street.
People who don't know me just think I am some woman, of course my problem is that anyone who DOES know me seems to enjoy intro'ing me by my male name or male pronouns. THAT really helps. :doh:

But yes, no matter what you do, nosy neighbors can be a problem.

[PretzelGirl]

Maybe I just don't care. But how many of you notice your neighbors coming and going? I only notice if I am out mowing the lawn or something similar. And if someone strange was driving, I wouldn't pay it no mind.

But we are a risk adverse bunch. If we could get caught one in a thousand times, it may not be worth it. So we try things like disguises and such. But try and really evaluate the reality of the situation and you might just make it easier on yourself. Can the neighbor to the right really see you? If you are dressed, are any close enough to really tell? You can narrow your nerves down if you really examine things a little closer.

[daviolin]

I live out in the country and the houses are far apart. So its not a concern of mine. If I get spotted, oh well What are ya gonna do. I really don't care anymore.:hugs:

[Angel64]

I get in the car before opening the garage. Tinted windows are a must for me. I have curious neighbors ... :Angry3:

[Ria]

leave my house en femme! just too risky unless it were like 2am.

my secret: i take my clothes and makeup with me, find a hotel, walk thru the lobby like i'm staying there (carrying my stuff in a bag), go to the lobby bathroom (theres always one), then change in a big stall in the ladies rest room. in some places, theres a mirror in there! then walk out en femme with my guy stuff in the same bag. if i'm lucky, theres a different exit door near the bathroom so i dont even have to walk past the front desk! when my evening is over, i do the reverse!

I love this idea Kaylyg! I'm going to work this idea out in my neck of the woods...

One of my personality traits is a military mind set, everything is a mission. This sounds like great mission logistics... tee hee hee hee (girly voice)

[Helen_Highwater]

Ok, I’m in the UK and most of the time in the closet. However on a few occasions I get to dress and leave from home for a few brief hours driving around accompanied by tentative forays to a cash point or post box . It’s usually in the winter months when it gets dark early.
One thing I’ve become aware of; if you wear heels, the sound is more likely to give you away than what you dress in. In the dark sound becomes our primary sense. Also just look out the window and check out the immediate neighborhood. Is someone out there walking the dog? After 7:00 PM most are home from work and eating the evening meal and/or watching the box.
From the door to the car, how many seconds? If you’re not wearing a wig once in the car even full makeup is hard to discern if you’re in a moving vehicle unless you look someone straight in the face.
I want to put my hand up and admit it’s still an adrenaline rush but it’s one of those times when you have to balance the risk against the gain. Only you can do the maths.

[MsRachael]

I'm in the country for the most part, though my uncle lives beside me (about 1000 ft away) so its really not that hard to get out. Though I've only done it a few times. I went to Walmart one time completely dressed up! It was so exciting but I was too chicken to go through the checkout. Not because of my looks but because of my voice. I still haven't gotten it to sound just like a girl yet... I did go to a McDonalds drive through though... I figured its a McDonalds, who cares... haha I think I did ok, as nobody said anything or even gave me a 2nd look.

[NathalieX66]

My neighbors and I share a driveway. He is in law enforcement, and and his kids are always in the driveway, and my house has no garage...therefore I have no privacy. We get along great but yet they do not know this side of me.
I have found myself putting myself together, then dissasembling myself to go out the front door, only to find me in an empty parking lot of a business park changing clothes and finishing makeup to go somewhere in public. ...that sucks, IMHO.

I don't care about my family or my personal friends knowing about me, they already do , but my next door neighbor and my employer are the two entities that I woudn't out myself to. At times I have thought about buying a high-roof Sprinter van with tinted windows, or buying a house in a more private location.

[foxyjj111]

i usually leave after dark and pretend to be checking a text message so i dont have to look up and make eye contact with anyone; probably need to get over that shyness but it works for now.

the only problem i have run into was returning home. i once was out and retruned to my next door neigbor having a party with people inside and outside his flat. i had to walk right in front of them on the sidewalk to get to my door which was a bit nerving but no one really took too much notice. a day or so later my neighbor asked about the girl who came to place late at night and i just laughed. he thought it was a 2am booty call. :heehee: i just agreed and smiled...

[Susan4]

I've always found it easier to go out during the day - especially during the school year. After people go to work, and the kids are off to school ... it get's pretty dead until noon.

So ... around 8:45 ... I would leave the house. If you wear jeans and a top, or slacks and a top ... no one seeing you, especially from a distance, would look twice. You may not pass up close but your blend very well. People see what they expect to see. When I get in the car ... I'll finish my make-up (as would many a working woman) and add other things like earnings, etc. If I've worn men's shoes ... I'd change them and presto-chango ... turn on the ignition and I'm off shopping or for a manicure.

When you come home ... lose the wig, have some makeup wipes nearby ... and through on a man's or unisex jacket and you can (or I can, anyway) get in the house under cover of darkness very easily. If it is still light ... try to get home before the working crowd.

Hope that helps ... or gives you some ideas.

I also have the luxury of a locker and a room at a local crossdressor's club ... for more extensive makeovers away from my neighbours.

Good luck ...
Susan