Almost had to tell my best mate

[CdChloe]

Hi girls,

just a little back story first: my best friend called me the other day with the following proposition... In about 1 yrs time he'd buy out his wife's part of their house and rent it to us while he continues to live there and we'd possibly get our other friend to join as well.

Tonight he came over and the aim was to go through and chat about how we feel about it and ups and downs etc.

On the whole my wife and I love the idea! We see them more often and it means that someone I trust will be there while I'm at work... BUT... Sharing a house with the two of them would mean that I'd have to either hide Chloe or share her, I'd rather share her but with the "funny" story he told tonight of an obviously out and proud "chuck Norris lookalike" crossdresser, I don't feel that he'd be accepting of that at this point in his life.

Also the fact that my wife is currently pregnant and it would mean breaking our lease 3 months into a new lease and then living with them while trying to care for a 3 month old.

[mklinden2010]

Hi girls,

just a little back story first: my best friend called me the other day with the following proposition... In about 1 yrs time he'd buy out his wife's part of their house and rent it to us while he continues to live there and we'd possibly get our other friend to join as well.

Tonight he came over and the aim was to go through and chat about how we feel about it and ups and downs etc.

On the whole my wife and I love the idea! We see them more often and it means that someone I trust will be there while I'm at work... BUT... Sharing a house with the two of them would mean that I'd have to either hide Chloe or share her, I'd rather share her but with the "funny" story he told tonight of an obviously out and proud "chuck Norris lookalike" crossdresser, I don't feel that he'd be accepting of that at this point in his life.

Also the fact that my wife is currently pregnant and it would mean breaking our lease 3 months into a new lease and then living with them while trying to care for a 3 month old.


Been there, did that. Worked out fine.

This is an opportunity to say:

"Love the idea, bud. But, here's the thing..."

I was pleasantly surprised to find that my friends and neighbors, who were good people, didn't begrudge me having my own life. Usually, they just said, "Oh, well... Good for you."

The rest of them I didn't bother with, and what they found out on their own didn't change anything. They didn't care - more or less - and neither did I...

Your bud is trying to figure out some way to get on in life for the next few years. If you and your wife are in favor of the idea, just tell him, "there's this thing we're into" and see if he doesn't go, "So, you can move in then?"

Not going along with an idea that's attractive and makes good sense for everyone, without a good explanation, is just going to create hard feelings.

You're better off to just be honest about everything and see if it doesn't all work out for the best.

That "friends and kids" thing, of course, can be pretty tough. If you get into this deal, put a time limit on it - like one year at a time so everyone has a "out" on this deal if they need it.

Your friend is probably only doing this because, financially, he has to... And, meanwhile, if another SO comes into his life, he/she may need you guys to move so they can have their own space again. Setting limits can work better for everyone.

Have fun and good luck.

[AKAMichelle]

I think you should put your wife and your child first. Plus I wouldn't move in anywhere that you had to put Chloe away. It will cause a lot of problems which will end up directed at your wife whether you mean to or not.

[PretzelGirl]

I guess the big question is would you tell him if you weren't thinking about moving in? If not, why? And once you figure the why, decide if that reason really goes away once you do move in.

So you are going to be sharing a home between a friend and your family. Sometimes that puts a rift in a friendship that was going good. Sometimes it stresses the marraige. And you could be putting Chloe away for a majority of the time. So are your reasons for doing this that important?