Getting Bolder

[hopingsecret]

I was lying in bed with my wife the other night and started talking to her. I said how I need to shave (my body that is) again and how I wish I didn't have any body hair. Then I told her the only good thing to come out of me being male was our son. I admit it's not much, but it's something.

[CharleneT]

Remember, the male you is who she married. So saying there's nothing good there may cause her some sadness and worry.

[ReineD]

I agree with Charlene. And if I heard this from my SO, I'd also think that she regretted the sexual intimacy we'd had together as male/female. I'd feel as if it had all been all a lie ... and I would wonder if she desired me at all. It would be difficult for me to imagine that she could desire me from the point of view of being a woman.

This may not seem rational to you, but it really is very difficult for us GGs to imagine what sources you, what drives you. Even more so if she has no clue that you are TS.

[natasha]

To me there is so much more than my children that were good about my male self. I met my wife (soulmate) is probably the most significant. Without being that person whom she met, she would not have had anything to do with who I hid inside for so many years. While I may not be the person she met anymore, we have grown together as a couple and as two who now depend on each other. While I do often wish I would have acted sooner on being the person I really am inside, I am also very greatful about where I am now. I have two of the most wonderful kids in the world, and a wife that while she doesnt fully understand me, she accepts that I am not making this up.

I guess what I am saying (at least from my perspective),is you cant change the past and if one minor thing were different it could very realistically totally change where you are now. That one little change might very well put things in a totally different light to the point of not having what you are thankful for now. As said before, I would have liked to act on my real self sooner but in hindsight I would not change the past, because I most likely would not have the people around me that I have now.

[hopingsecret]

Well to me I thought it would be obvious that she was part of that. I mean I can't make a baby by myself. Besides I tell my wife I love her all the time. Far more than she tells me to be honest. Emotionally she's the man. It took a good two years before she would allow me to cuddle with her after relations. She was always the one who was like "Ok, get off me it's over.".

And I have talked to her about my wanting to be female. At the time I told her I had no plans to persue anything with it. Which I honestly meant at the time. But now I'm starting to feel more of a pull and would at least like to start crossdressing on an occasional basis. So that's what I'm slowly trying to build up to.

[Rianna Humble]

Unfortunately, what may seem obvious to one person is not at all obvious to others.

When you say "the only good thing" most people will believe that you mean what you say. This would inevitably exclude the idea that being with your wife was a good thing to have come of you being male.

It is a sad fact that people only hear what we articulate, not the thoughts and intentions behind our words. That is why it is important not only to mean what we say but also to say what we mean. I am sure that you meant that being with your wife was also a good thing to have come from you being male - unfortunately you did not say that.

[LizaPond]

I've read what you said and in it I get your trying to let your wife know who you want to be. You have her as well as a son to consider. Wanting to CD is a feeling but can you actually pull it off or will you just be that strange uncle your family talks about at thanksgiving.
If I were you, I would test myself. I would try something that may scare you and that is, shave what you want and dress to kill then go somewhere public and try walking through and listen to the comments (if any). If you can do this and get away with it then maybe thats you. If you get bad responces or strange on-lookers then maybe this is something you should do behind closed doors and not make it your life.
What you have now is more than anyone could ask for. You have a wife and a son. Be the man they need in thier lifes. Is cross dressing a life style to you or a sexual stimulation? Understand truely what it is--- and live accordanly.
Again I'm no expert
Liza

[Mirani]

If I were you, I would test myself. I would try something that may scare you and that is, shave what you want and dress to kill then go somewhere public and try walking through and listen to the comments (if any). If you can do this and get away with it then maybe thats you. If you get bad responces or strange on-lookers then maybe this is something you should do behind closed doors and not make it your life.

Again I'm no expert
Liza

If I were a gambling girl, I would wager NO ONE stated their CDing life this way. But what a great way to frighten his SO forever!!!!

CD happens on very many levels.

[noeleena]

Hi,
When i read what you said that to me was a male , you see we will hear what you say not your intent . that to me is one big slap in the face. a put down . & even then its not your words, we feel it in a different way.
be carefull tho & take your time if it works out give your s o time to understand your other side .

...noeleena...

[hopingsecret]

I understand what you all are trying to say. And if I had not brought up my feelings before and had we not been married for over 9 years I would probably agree. But she and I have been through so much together, lay-offs, deaths in the family, and so on that I'm sure she knows what I meant. And trust me, I know I can be an insensative jerk at times (and so can she, so can we all) but I just don't think she took it as a slap in the face. I mean not to get too graphic, but we did end up having relations afterward.

But I will try to be more articulate the next time I try to bring up the subject just to make sure there are no misunderstandings.