self Confidence & CD

[Sophia]

Hi all

I just want to ask how CDing affect your self confidence

Do you became more shy..?
or open to people from both genders..?
& why..?

simple Question but it may help me a lot

Sophia

[Angiemead12]

I think I am more receptive to women and gay men. I'm a bit repelled by testosterone fueled men because they seem so naive and one track minded.

My Confidence is peaking! :)

[Sarah Doepner]

I had a very poor self image for many years, probably not directly related to my crossdressing. Finally I started to take stock of myself, my strengths and weaknesses and decided that maybe I wasn't all that poor example of a human being after all. I became more confident at work and I started on the road toward accepting my crossdressing.

It seems that as I became more confident in general I was more confident with my crossdressing as well. Now that I've accepted my CD side, there really isn't a lot that bothers me. I know my limitations but I know my strong points as well. The big thing crossdressing has done for me is I'm not nearly as self-consconsious as I used to be. I know most people don't pay attention, don't care or have such short attention spans that I can do pretty much what I need to regardless of how I am presenting at the moment.

[pernille d]

i have always been open to people from all genders/colour/religon , as we should respect one and another( that does not mean il like everybody as likeing and respect are two differnt things)

As for self confidence thats a funny one . put it this way i dont bat an eyelid going into buy a dress/lingeri or make up as i have found out its not such a big deal. I have found out people dont really care as much as we think they do in or minds , this has boosted my self confidence a lot. I am still progressing down the road and every next step seems easier as all the time my confidence grows . The funny thing is that it has not crossed over ( as much as i can see) so when in drab i am the same as i always have been . i am a bit shy in drab but much more outgoing as pernille,

That makes me wonder is the confidence something that is only there with pernille or will it have an affect and cross over at some point .as in theori it should

[CdChloe]

When I know there are others around (my SO cause I don't go out yet) I tend to clam up, but if I'm home alone, Chloe gets a bit over the top - shouting at the tv etc.

[abigail43]

I have been finding that my self confidence is growing the more I dress as Abigail and I am finding that it does cross over when I am in drab.I don't have any problems now when I am out in drab and see something that Abigail would like or could help her in some way .So I would have to say that dressing does help my self confidence

[noeleena]

Hi.Sophia.

Theres two ways of looking at this ,
is it from the wearing of female clothes , make up shoes & so on .
or you as a person not wether your male or female .

what do you do or not as a male & then change clothes whats really changed your perception of your self or from others & may be how you look ...or not .

Confidence is about you , as a person not the clothes or what you wear

okay , for me im very confident self assured in those things details that i was trained in , being in front of 1000s of people played in the miitatry band . & sang in choirs , yes very.

as a young person on my own far from that total different . no confidence,

Now as a person in my own right after many years . im confident as i was when trained just the change of, by my self & that was not just over night, I can dress go any were with in reason being a little bit wise in that. & yes be my self as a person who is able to be happy in what i do is it the clothes , no its allowing your inner self to shine , & the clothes thats a added ...wow...

...noeleena...

[TxKimberly]

I was VERY shy before I started going out so much as Kim. I was so shy that I used to get sick to my stomach the night before I would leave for a service call to a customer that I hadn't met yet.
Once I started heading out the door "dressed" though, all of that went away. After all, what can be more socially difficult and awkward than a man spending time in the world dressed as a woman? After getting the courage to do that, everything else seemed easy . . .

[Tomara]

Hi Sophia
For me gaining self-acceptance of my cross-dressing has helped my self confidence a lot , I have always had the self confidence to do anything I put my mind to but since I accepted my cross-dressing as a good part of who I am I am much happier in my life and my relationship with my girlfriend.
I hope this helps you in some way.
Tomara

[Claire Cook]

Dressing has made a world of difference for me. Like Kim and others, I was very shy and self-conscious, but once Claire broke "out of the mold" I'm more confident both ways. I try to dress every day before I leave for work in drab mode, and that seems to set the tone for me.

I do notice that when I am out and dressed, I am much more likely to make eye contact with GG's and smile. (Others have posted similar comments.) I hardly ever did that in male clothes -- but maybe I do more now. Anyways, Claire certainly smiles more!

[AKAMichelle]

I have always been an alpha male type. Never shy. Never afraid. When I finally started going out the door dressed, I was at an all time low for me. I was depressed, withdrawn and afraid of most things. Getting out of the door changed everything. I got over my fear again and I was back to ole self.

[Cheryl T]

I'm more confident and outgoing.

[Kathryn Martin]

I also have never had any issues with my crossdressing. I am confident of myself and have been for a long time. Dressing has just turned out to round out who I am. In light of the transience of human existence on this planet and in the grand scheme of things it falls into the category of "do whatever floats your boat".

[fluffy]

I'm the shy type. Crossdressing hasn't helped that terribly much but I think it's getting better.

[Toni_Lynn]

Its a bit of a double-edged sword. I feel that it takes a great deal of self confidence to CD and go out in public. Our CDing in and of itself shows how much we love our 'selves'. When I started it made me feel so very special and good inside. The thing about that though is that we as CDers feel so good about CDing that we can't understand why other don't accept us. When my mum ripped into me about my CDing it totally shattered that self confidence. For years it left me paranoid. In many ways I still am a bit that way. It lead to the self destructiveness and self hatred of alcoholism. One thing it did do was instill in me that if I wanted to get anywhere in this world I would have to excel at everything I did, hence why I am a computer programmer for one of the largest companies in the USA and deemed an essential employee, yet don't even have a college degree. My faith in God and strong Catholic beliefs have helped me, too.

I am basically a shy person. I'm quiet and try not to get in anyone way. I tend to internalise my hurts.

Having my loving wife by my side has made all the difference in the world. She knows when I get all mopey and start beating myself up inside. Her response -- go put on a dress -- you'll feel pretty and better.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

[Karentgny]

I was VERY shy before I started going out so much as Kim. I was so shy that I used to get sick to my stomach the night before I would leave for a service call to a customer that I hadn't met yet.
Once I started heading out the door "dressed" though, all of that went away. After all, what can be more socially difficult and awkward than a man spending time in the world dressed as a woman? After getting the courage to do that, everything else seemed easy . . .

I just flipped through a few of your recent pics and your Buffalo, NY trip. You have every right to be confident gurl. You have obviously perfected your look and are beautiful as well as totally convincing... If I didn't know your genetic gender I would have NEVER guessed. Stay as gorgeous as you are!

[JainaCarpaccio]

Since I've started being more open about my cding, I actually do feel more self confident actually. Probably cuase I'm accepting a part of my self rather than trying to hide it. I've got a few circumstances where I can't be open with it, and I tend to feel a little uneasy then, but by and large yearh I'm more confident.

[AllieSF]

I have always been extroverted and unafraid to converse with new people. However, on the romantic front I was always somewhat shy, probably from the age old fear of rejection. Now after all those years with good and bad experience in all aspects of life I am even more extroverted caused in large part by my starting dressing over 3 years ago. I love to engage in fun and interesting conversations with total strangers while dressed. On the romantic side, even that shyness has "almost" disappeared!

[SusanCACD]

I can attest to Allie's statement, she is really an outgoing individual, I just wish we could get together and talk more. (Allie I live alone and you can change here)

Susan

[Rachel Morley]

I think I am more receptive to women and gay men. I'm a bit repelled by testosterone fueled men because they seem so naive and one track minded.:iagree: ... ditto for me too. My confidence when talking to women in particular, has certainly increased (both when en femme and in boy mode) :)

[Lexine]

CDing itself didn't give me confidence.

CDing AND going out en femme gave me confidence.

To me, the latter statement makes a lot more sense because you can potentially CD in the comfort of your own home, with no one judging you for your actions or the way you look, and the most you get out of it is the satisfaction you have with dressing up en femme.

Speaking from personal experience, I CD in order to unlock a lot of aspects of myself that I've denied myself access to over the course of the past few years, having a lot of confidence being one of them. I knew that by putting myself in a very unfamiliar situation that I will somehow gain the confidence to do anything that I wanted. I'm so proud of this that it's become a normal part of my life now.

You want to know how confident I got? Just a few minutes ago I was at a CVS shopping for makeup and I walked to the counter to pay for my things and, while the old lady who was helping me had this curious expression on her face because of my basket full of makeup, I just calmly looked at her direction as if I was buying a toothbrush or something else, paid for it, thanked her, then walked away. All this while I was en drab.

[StaceyJane]

As a guy I'm very shy but in order to go out as Stacey I had to find a lot of self confidence just to walk out the door.

[Sophia]

thanks for all the reply

I was thinking about how it will affect my live as male

& how will affect me in all the aspects of my live

Sophia

[lacie]

In my younger teen years and for most of my 20’s I was very macho acting when around both sexes. It was almost to the point of being somewhat cocky even. I had not come to terms with my dressing and felt as though I was freakish and weird. I was actually ashamed of myself for dressing and was scared to death of showing any feminine qualities around others. For this reason I overcompensated at being macho. I had confidence in myself because of my other accomplishments but often had bouts of insecurity because of my dressing. As I’ve aged and matured I’ve come to terms with my dressing and accepted it 100%. I’ve been educated on transgender immensely through books and great websites like this one. I now know that we are many and we are normal good people. When I was younger I felt alone but now I feel supported and understood. This has helped me to be myself without having to put on a macho act. I’m humbled, proud, and unashamed. I feel complete. So for me it seems as though my confidence has increased more over time and with the acceptance of my crossdressing.

[Tina P Hose]

Dressing at home has made me perhaps a little introverted, if there is a social occasion with friends, sometimes I just stay home and dress. But then if it weren't for you all, nobody would know my desire to dress. Hope that someday, I can hook up with others that dress, but my attempts have been futile. It is just that it would be a drag, (pardon the pun), to have to drive two or three hours to socialize with others like me.

[charlotte_sp]

@Sophia:

It will affect everyone in different ways, but for what it's worth, here are my experiences.

I have found myself more confident and extroverted in general since I've accepted being to some extent trangender.
One way this shows up is that I'm more willing to talk to random strangers (men and women) in guy and girl mode.
Unfortunately, I'm still no better at talking to cute girls D:

I think the "why" of it for me was just the relief of acting on something I'd had in the back of my mind for so long.