Tipping (Dressed vs Not)

[AKAMichelle]

I went out to dinner the other night with another cd'er and it dawned on me that part of the preception we leave in a place has to do with our tipping. So the question is whether you tip more or less while dressed?

When I thought about it that night, I upped the tip because I wanted her to remember cd'ers as good tippers.

[Mirani]

Surely tipping is about rewarding service?
I do understand that people's experiences shape their perception, but I dont think we need to bribe our way into positivity.
I know that there is a different culture between the US and the UK regarding tips.
AsI understand it (may have it wrong) a 20% tip is the starting point in the US.
In the UK quite often the bill has had a 12% service charge added to the bill.
A £65 bill will include a £6 service charge and £9 tax. Original cost without those = £50.
Anyway, I don't tip extra to make a good impression. I tip 10% (round it up to the nearest £) when there is no service charge.

[Stephanie Miller]

To me a tip is the reward for exemplary service. Not for you to make up for an owners poor wage scale. If an owner felt like his/her employees are doing their job, and should be earning more – then charge more for the plates and disperse it accordingly.
With that thought in mind… If a server treats me with good service, conversation if warranted and good attitude, then yes I will tip accordingly. If a server snickers behind my back, (you can tell because all of the other servers just happen to stop by your table for a peek at the trannies), gives no additional service other than the necessary and/or has a shitty attitude…. Then I’m sorry, but they will just have to earn what is given to them by their cheap-assed boss.
As for buying acceptance… Don’t think so. You giving them a couple extra bucks is not going to change a thought pattern that has already manifested itself. In grade school geeks couldn’t “buy” the bullies friendship with cupcakes… they just made the bully aware of where the cupcakes were. They still ended up stuffed in the lockers.

[Nicole Brown]

Hi Michelle,

I have struggled with the same question on many occasions myself. Then I realized that these are actually two separate issues and need to be treated as such. Let me explain my thinking, I have always believed that a tip is a gratuity for superior or personalized service and advancing the image of CD'ers is achieved my the actions of CD'ers.

I in no way believe that providing a bigger tip advances our images in any way. I do believe that acting, presenting and talking like a lady definitely advances our image. Let me ask you a question, would you leave a larger tip to a server who kept referring to you as Sir simply to advance our image? I don't think so as this is neither superior nor personalized service. On the other hand, if this server always referred to you as Miss or Ma'am and helped you with your seat, then this definitely would be superior and personalized service which should be rewarded with a generous gratuity.

[Mirani]

I have always believed that a tip is a gratuity for superior or personalized service

Agreed :thumbsup:



I in no way believe that providing a bigger tip advances our images in any way.
Agreed :thumbsup:


. . . would you leave a larger tip to a server who kept referring to you as Sir simply to advance our image? I don't think so as this is neither superior nor personalized service.

Agreed :thumbsup:


On the other hand, if this server always referred to you as Miss or Ma'am and helped you with your seat, then this definitely would be superior and personalized service which should be rewarded with a generous gratuity.

Disagree :thumbsdn: To refer to me as I present and helping me with my seat is STANDARD service ... it is in the job description to be polite and helpful. Not superior or personalised service IMHO.

Possibly another example of US v UK culture ????

[Presh GG]

Oh ,Oh!

Women [ ggs ] have always had the bad press of being bad tippers. I don't know where or when this started... It's just one of those unearned prejudices.

I tip starting at 16% [ double the tax ] and add as warrented.
BUT, if the service is really bad I've been known to leave coins, just to show I hadn't forgotten.

TIPS =

To
Insure
Proper
Service.

In the old days tips were paid Before dineing.

Presh GG

[sandra-leigh]

Surely tipping is about rewarding service?

In theory -- but the studies I have seen mentioned have repeatedly indicated that they find that the amount people tip is driven mostly by how they want other people to perceive them, especially the other people they are with.

The level of service has influence, but much less so than the degree to which the people want to impress those around them. That can include wanting to hide routine unpleasantness, or wanting to give superiors the impression that one is good with people and worthy of promotion, or wanting to give superiors the impression that one is serious about cost controls, or wanting to give superiors the impression that one is suitably distainful of the hired help: the social dynamics include tipping more in some situations and tipping less in others.


Thus, tipping more in hopes of leaving a good impression of CD's would not be uncommon, and it is not something that I personally would discourage, as long as one doesn't give the impression that one is trying to "buy" the other person's attention, or trying to "buy" the other person's restraint from commenting, or trying to bribe the other person's silence about you having been there dressed like you were: leaving such an impression would not be good for the community of CD'ers.

[Fab Karen]

In our country, in restaurants with waiters, tipping is expected. I don't know the history of why, but typically they're paid a small wage & make most of their money from tips. Some fancy places automatically add tip to the bill, though they do inform you of that.

It would serve no purpose I think to give a big tip to someone who didn't show us basic respect of gender-identity. Unless they were really bad though, I wouldn't forego the tip. We don't need to be remembered as "people who don't tip" -similar to what Presh said.

[Loni]

at the growing price for service at a restaurant i only do a 10% as the norm. if things are that good, or if we were a pain and she did a good job the tip goes way up.:) if she can not get things right i have just left two penny's.:doh:

in a couple groups for a dinner were there is NO mandatory tip we would all drop in a good tip and the kitty would be large.:D
were there is a mandatory fee added to the bill she only gets what her boss want's to give her.:eek:

a tip is for good service. not a mandatory fee to be added to a bill. nore is it to make up for the owners lack of a proper pay scale.
no body gives me a tip for doing MY job....


.

[Billijo49504]

For service that is just there, $2 per person. For great service 20% or more. And for poor service, 2 shiney pennies. If the service is super, I will also tell the manager, how well we were taken care of. And how the server made our visit enjoyable...BJ

[Niya W]

Calling Miss won't ensure you tip, calling me sir ensures you won't .

[lisa_alba]

I agree that the tip is a sign of good or bad service. I also agree that if it is a regular stop then maybe a little extra is appropriate in order to continue to receive exemplary service.

[Maryesther M.]

In our neck-of-the-woods a tip is around 10%, usually as a reward for good service.
If you're dressed 'en femme' I presume you pass well and present as a lady. I don't expect that would have any bearing whatsoever on the size of the tip.

[thechic]

In this neck of the woods tipping is rear, a sufficient wage is paid to the worker,and all costs are shown in the bill.

[BobbiU]

I've never heard of tips beging gender specific, or specific to any other part of ones personality. To me, as was mentioned, a tip is a show of appreciation for good service, or reward for good service. Generally we double the tax, and if the service was "Above Expectations", we increase . If "Below Expectations", we decrease.

[Sara Jessica]

I've been a waiter before (& even a waitress a couple of times but that's totally another story) so I get the tipping thing. Standard in these parts is 15% for good service. It is what it is. Call me shallow but when I'm out in girl mode and I can perceive that the server is making an effort to be understanding, to address me with appropriate pronouns, etc., I will tip more, sometimes 20-25%. Am I making a statement for the greater cause in doing so? I don't think so. But I think it would be remembered more if I were to leave a poor tip.

Regardless, try this one. When you receive great service along with all those good things that come with being treated well as one who is transgendered, write the establishment to commend the staff. Now that's something that'll make an impression!!!

[divamissz]

I don't tip better because I'm en femme. I do tip according to the level of service. I will tip 20% for good service, more if it's exceptional. If the service is "up to standard" I'll tip 15%. I never not tip, even if the service is bad-but don't expect it to be a very good tip, and I will talk to the manager.

If you're using the right pronouns? That's only something I expect.

[Angiemead12]

I tip because i want to be nice to other people. :hugs:

Unless the service was really bad then no tips!

[sandra-leigh]

http://people.howstuffworks.com/tipping1.htm


The most prominent reason for tipping appears to be more of a guilt issue than a gratitude issue. We know that tipping, at least in the United States, is expected, and if we don't tip, we stand the chance of angering the server, and then who knows what our next visit to that restaurant, airport or salon will be like?

Also, our assumption that tipping is designed to encourage good service for our next visit may or may not be accurate. What if we are at a restaurant that we know we won't be back to? What then is our motivation to tip? Some argue that it is a way of making ourselves feel better about being served because we know the waiter works hard and isn't paid well. [...]

Believe it or not, a lot of research has gone into why we tip and what makes us tip more or less for similar service. Research has shown that the quality of the service we receive isn't always reflected in the tip we leave. Many who have studied the practice have discovered that excellent service only draws a marginally higher tip than average service. Other things the server might do, however, do make more of a difference -- probably without our even realizing it.

Cornell University's Center for Hospitality Research conducted several studies revealing some other interesting facts about server habits that can boost tip percentages. Here are a few of them: [see article for list]


http://www.thepsychfiles.com/2008/11/episode-78-the-psychology-of-tipping/
Research articles on the psychology of tipping

http://www.entrepreneur.com/tradejournals/article/75262271_2.html


Many managers believe that small tips are an indication that customers are dissatisfied and that they need to be placated. However, the research reviewed in this article suggests otherwise. Consumers who rated the service as excellent sometimes left tips of 5 percent or less, so one cannot conclude that small tips always mean that the customer was dissatisfied with the service. Furthermore, consumers who rated the service as poor sometimes left tips of 20 percent or more--so not everyone who is dissatisfied with the service leaves a small tip. In general, the weak relationship between tips and service evaluations means that tips are a poor indicator of customer satisfaction or dissatisfaction.

Restaurant tipping: an examination of three ‘rational’ explanations (http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6V8H-45DN112-C&_user=10&_coverDate=06%2F30%2F1990&_rdoc=1&_fmt=high&_orig=search&_sort=d&_docanchor=&view=c&_searchStrId=1418106678&_rerunOrigin=google&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=394e0ad8224d5ae2d7cbd0754fd1dbb9)

Tipping was related to bill size, patronage frequency, service ratings and the interaction of bill size with patronage frequency. Tipping was not related to group size, number of courses, alcohol consumption, food ratings or the interaction of patronage frequency with service ratings. These results are consistent with the use of tips to buy social approval and equitable relationships but not with the use of tips to buy future service.

Race differences in restaurant tipping: A literature review and discussion of practical implications. (http://tippingresearch.com/uploads/JFSBR_race_revision_article.pdf)

See other papers at http://tippingresearch.com/test.html

[TxKimberly]

I would have to admit that I DO tip better when I dine dressed IF the waiter / waitress has been genuinely friendly. Right or wrong, I do have it in my mind that I am doing something small for myself and other TG's by influencing others to look forward to our presence instead of dreading it.

[NathalieX66]

Always tip.....The waiter/waitress needs to make a living. That needs to be respected.
I awlays tip generosuly, but I have also engaged the waiter/waitres in conversation fore the mere fact of putting on a human face on me no matter how I'm dressed.
if you are going en femme, be bold, and enjoy it.....and tip well.

[AKAMichelle]

I would have to admit that I DO tip better when I dine dressed IF the waiter / waitress has been genuinely friendly. Right or wrong, I do have it in my mind that I am doing something small for myself and other TG's by influencing others to look forward to our presence instead of dreading it.

I was beginning to feel bad about putting this up because it was missing the point. Your response is exactly the point. If the service is equal do you tip more or the same when dressed? Do you think that it makes any difference in how TG's are perceived?

All I know is that I was thinking about other cd'ers when I calculated the tip. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't cheap. In male mode I don't care if I am cheap.

[Rachel Morley]

I generally tip the same, dressed or not. However, I gotta be honest ... if I feel like I got read and yet I still got a warm or even "extra warm" friendly attitude toward me, I do tip more. :)

[eluuzion]

I just leave one of my competitors' business cards with a note on the back that says "Buy low, sell High"...:D

jus' kidd'n..

Restaurants...
I leave 20% of the pre-tax total bill, with no consideration given to my attire. Emily Post would be proud of me...

:love:

[t-girlxsophie]

Not to sound like a stereotypical mean Scot-Tipping,never heard of it:heehee:

Seriously I always add a cpl £s to the bill assuming the service has been good,after all like myself they are trying to earn a living,at times on low wages,As a working class girl I wouldn't feel good not leaving a tip.My Tip doesn't really differ much whether am Dressed or not.

:hugs:Sophie x

[patti.jean]

I do tip more when I am out dressed and get good service, which is almost all the time. I think it is important to leave a good impression with a good tip.

[jenna_woods]

I always tip more wen dressed, I think it helps us to be acepted

[Mirani]

I just wish that waiters/waitresses were properly paid. The price on the menu reflected that, it included the tax, and that's what you pay! Just like Thechic in Geneva.
Then, no need for the mental maths at the table!
I wish I got a tip for good service ... I would be rich!
However, either my customers come back or recommend us - or no! I stand and fall by our performance.

[sissystephanie]

I have always been a good "tipper," rarely ever tipping less than 20%. When I am dressed I, like a lot of our other "girls," do tend to tip even higher.

One place where I eat lunch frequently issues a "Bonus" card which allows you to earn points for dining there. The waitress I generally go to always gives me extra points, which does allow me to get almost free meals. She always gets great tips!!

[RachelPortugal]

Sorry in advance for my :2c:, it's a bit more like $2.

I don't think that the amount I leave as a tip would not be affected by how I am dressed, although being in a very happy mood could cause me to be a bit more generous. That happy mood could be affected by the quality of service and food but may well be further enhanced by the fact that I was out en femme and being treated respectfully as such.


When I thought about it that night, I upped the tip because I wanted her to remember cd'ers as good tippers.


Surely you leave a good tips to reward excellent service so that you will be remembered the next time you visit and the excellent service will be repeated.

Sort of like:

TIPS =
To
Insure
Proper
Service.

In the old days tips were paid Before dineing.


Upping the tip to create a better impression of cd'ers in general is wasting your cash because I am sure that not all cd'ers will leave good tips. It would be like going into a restaurant in a kilt and putting on a fake Scottish accent then leaving a good tip so that they would think that all Scotsmen are good tippers. That just ain't going to happen.

So if tips used to be given before dining, then perhaps the word gratuity is more appropriate for payments to say thanks for the good service.

I hate to see % service charges added to the bill, I know in the UK that such charges can be deducted from the bill, the only way a restaurant can get away with that (within current pricing regulations) is to just include it in the price of each dish/drink etc just like the VAT(sales tax).

The giving of gratuities varies from country to country. In some places it is customary or just expected because the waiting staff are paid a pittance. So I see various percentages mentioned - 5, 10, 15 or even 20 and perhaps it is easy just to look at the bill and work out a percentage, but I feel that this method is flawed - after all you have probably already paid over inflated prices for the wine and any pre-dinner drinks.

Yes, if the waiting staff have provided excellent attentive service you will probably want to reward them - not that you would tip a supermarket assistant who went out of her way to assist you.

So lets look at calculating the size of the gratuity from another aspect. So you are dining in a restaurant for 2 - 3 hours during which period the total amount of the waiting staff's time spent with you is perhaps a maximum of 30 minutes (half an hour) - after all they do have other customers to serve. Now lets assume that the waiting staff are only paid minimum wage - after all the employers would be breaking the law if they paid any less. Now lets also assume that minimum wage is probably about 50% of the national average wage. So if a tip is customary, to bring the waiting staff's wage up to average wage you would only need to leave the equivalent of half and hours minimum hourly rate (+/- £3.00 in the UK - +/- €1.50 in Portugal) which is probably a lot less than the percentages being suggested. Now for excellent service you could easily double, treble or even quadruple that amount.

As for the practice of just leaving coins or a "couple of pennies", I consider that as insulting. Why not leave nothing. When I was in Vegas a few years back, the cocktail waitresses kept coming back every 15 minutes because we gave a dollar for each "free" drink, which was a really good deal for us. We did notice that the waitresses tried to purposely avoid those people who had previously only thrown a few pennies on the tray. So good tipping does pay if you are planning to be a regular customer.


One place where I eat lunch frequently issues a "Bonus" card which allows you to earn points for dining there. The waitress I generally go to always gives me extra points, which does allow me to get almost free meals. She always gets great tips!!

So here we have an example of what happens when a firm pays cr#p wages to their staff. A customer gives a good tip and the staff reward the customer by "giving away" some of the firm's profits. By "giving away" I mean stealing, because that is technically what it is. A low wage culture causes people to turn to crime.