How do you feel about being CD/TV

[Deborah]

Is there a little voice that argues with you?
I'm not about to go into the whole "NORMAL" debate but i'm sure there are times when you question it....possibly?



Don't take the above the wrong way. I'm taking a class in Critical thinking and well maybe i'm learning something.;)

[Kath]

Oh yeah! Contrary to many (most) members of the forum I wish I weren't one. However, for reasons I don't understand I am one and enjoy it when I get a chance to dress but that little voice is still there arguing with me very often.

Hope you do well in your class.

Hugs Kath

[Lisa Golightly]

As this is all I know I can not say what 'normal' by your definition feels like... see this is normal to me.

[Deborah]

As this is all I know I can not say what 'normal' by your definition feels like... see this is normal to me.

AHHHH see you didn't read it. I said i'm avoiding the NORMAL debate.
Is there a voice or isn't there is what i was asking.:rolleyes:

[Kimberly]

Is there a little voice that argues with you?
I'm not about to go into the whole "NORMAL" debate but i'm sure there are times when you question it....possibly?



Don't take the above the wrong way. I'm taking a class in Critical thinking and well maybe i'm learning something.;)
There's not a voice that argues with me... I just want to wear women's clothes over wearing men's clothes... annoying that I can't openly, really.

I've just come to accept this is the way I am, and I do what I can to dress and to hide it from those I don't want seeing this part of me. Not from fear that it's wrong, just a fear of abuse from them - in whatever shape or form.

[Lisa Golightly]

Apologies... No I don't hear voices. ;)

[Deborah]

Apologies... No I don't hear voices. ;)

Hehe your sneaky. When your thinking to yourself you can't hear it? That's what i mean.

[Priscilla1018]

All the voices in my head say "Wear Panties!" Oh oh I said the dreaded "P" word,am I going to get slapped?

[Kimberly]

*slap*

no......

*slap*

...... I lied.

[CharlotteSomers]

I used to not want to be CD in the worst way. That was a while ago and I've now accepted what/who I am and now I love it. My biggest problem is trying to hide it from family when the come to my house.

[parris james]

:eek: Voices, I hear voices! Nevermind I had the police radio no *giggles* Seriously no I never hear anything except happy thoughts dressed or not, I love who and what I am :love:

[Rachael Warren]

I have no voices in my head, for me it's more an inner feeling, a regret, a hangover from a very young age, hard to describe.

When you wake up happy, and completely care free, and look in a mirror, what do you see?, is it what you expect?, or do you reject, the image that you see?
I can not accept, the face looking back, is a reflection of me.

That is sort of getting there, I just am not what I feel I should be.

Sorry, nothing solid, just a disturbed mind.

Love Rachael.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

I've accepted my crossdressing and perfectly happy doing it, but I'd be lying if there weren't times I wished it didn't add complications to my life. Not anything that would make me stop, more just annoyances on a practice level -- like having to move stuff out of the closet into the garage when I've got people visiting.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I used to be worried about it when I was younger--thinking I might be somewhat secretly "gay" or transseual--or somthing wasnt "right".----or something "latent" might be in me and eventually come out.

But after I finally figured out what was going on and WHY I was doing it, I took it in stride as being both a "FUN" and "relaxing" recreational activity that I was among the privledged few who could enjoy it.---Of course I STILL keep it secret. There are too many people in the outside world who still Dont understand what this is about, and in MHO, i dont think its a good idea to go out and or reveal one's self otherwise--especially if one couldnt perfectly blend in with the real women.---I Do sort envy the "passers" who can get away with it. It would be like going undercover---cool.

My Face and legs are OK, I have no projecting "adams apple" and my shaved beard dont show thru my skin, but I have a few physical "figure flaws" that would make it hard for me to pass---
Im a bit "chunky" especially in the gut area---and i look "Thick" from the side

-I beleive I could If I really wanted to though---given the right clothing that hide the right places.(think Kirsty Alley)----But then again, I might look like a girl, but I certianly dont MOVE or gesture, sit or walk like one---My own casual practice dosent quite cut it. And then there is my voice---Not really "Low pitched", but still sounds like a mans.

But I had fun on my outing last Halloween, And my lack of skills were an asset, as I was obviously wearing a disguise---and not trying to pass myself off as a GG----which otherwise, people might ask the "wrong questions."

So, for now, Im happy to have my fun at home.

[Laurie Ann]

I also hear voices telling me to wear panties all the time. The voice is always saying to me panties good boxers bad panties good boxers bad however she never says anything about tighty whities. Lately the voice is adding something about a corset with garters and stockings and of course panties. She tells me panties are the source of life for all crossdressers Tristen is that a correct statement my voices need to know.

[Deanna2]

There's not a voice that argues with me... I just want to wear women's clothes over wearing men's clothes... annoying that I can't openly, really.

I've just come to accept this is the way I am, and I do what I can to dress and to hide it from those I don't want seeing this part of me. Not from fear that it's wrong, just a fear of abuse from them - in whatever shape or form.

I've got to agree with Kimberly. I'd rather be in femme gear than in a category box. I think Amy is trying to categorize and whilst that is entirely normal, I don't think it leads to a healthy debate or critical/clear thinking.

Luvya

[Natalie x]

Is there a little voice that argues with you?
I'm not about to go into the whole "NORMAL" debate but i'm sure there are times when you question it....possibly?

;)
:) Actually, I'm having a ball. I enjoy what I do, and I'm happy and content with myself, no inner voices arguing or complaining (apart from bemoaning the events that made me male in the first place).

+? My only problem comes when friends who know I crossdress ask me "why?" and I just can't answer them. I really don't know why I need to do it, love to do it. So I find myself asking myself the same question, not because I need to know, but because I don't know how to enlighten my friends and maybe help to spread the word.

[Debbie Kong]

In younger years I wished I wasn't who I was but now I am quite happy and content with being a TV. It's turning into the best times of my life.

I don't hear any voices but I constantly feel my butt being kicked for not embracing Debbie twenty years earlier than I did.

Debbie

[Deborah]

I've got to agree with Kimberly. I'd rather be in femme gear than in a category box. I think Amy is trying to categorize and whilst that is entirely normal, I don't think it leads to a healthy debate or critical/clear thinking.

Luvya

Trying to categorize....really?.....Hmmm. I don't think i was trying to do that.
Explain why you think that.

[Florence Crook]

Hi Amy,

Seems to me it's required on this forum to feel all right about who we are and what we do. And I do. I really do. But that doesn't stop me wishing sometimes that my sexuality was directed unambiguously out towards others - male or female, rather than more towards an image of myself.

Well done Amy for raising this.

[Deborah]

Hi Amy,
But that doesn't stop me wishing sometimes that my sexuality was directed unambiguously out towards others - male or female, rather than more towards an image of myself.


I like that. Very nice. Well thought out and also brings further insight in my opinion. I've never heard anyone say that before which is refreshing.:D

[Florence Crook]

Thanks Amy.

[ChristineRenee]

No...I don't hear any voices inside my head...that's my lil sis Wendy's department!:p I am very happy with who and what I am...as it took a long time for me to get to this point in my life...and I'm finally enjoying it fully!:)

[Olivia]

Happy, good, comfortable, natural, at ease AND frustrated, confused, sad, anxious,depressed. Who among hasn't felt all these things? That's the maddening thing about cding. It is a very complicated thing; a lifestyle that requires more than a little effort at times. I've done it for so long; at so many levels, for many reasons it seems. I gave up wondering why a long time ago. I am a crossdresser and I accept that; I would be very unhappy if I could never do it again but I can't say that it's never caused me unhappiness either. I've gained a new perspective on it in the last couple years, thanks in large part to finding this forum and community. I feel it makes my life more interesting and ultimately, more rich and rewarding too. I am glad that this is what I am even though it has complicated my life. Hey, life is not a job for the faint-hearted (was gonna say "sissies", but, that doesn't sound right) and our lives as crossdressers sure isn't the easy road to take. That said, it's the road we're all on and like any travelers, we find rewards in the journey, not necessarily the destination. Olivia.

[michellejean]

i use to wish that i was a gg woman.but that was long years ago. now i am glad of who i am . yes when alot younger i thought ? what is wrong with me.? nothing is my answer.i am somebody and if some people don,t like me then i do not have to be with them.so f----them .i can live with out them.i know i am a good person,an honest person,and i live to try to help others if i can and the friends that i have are true and the take me as i am. and i do them the same way.thank you very much,,,,,michellejean(mrs highheels)

[gennee]

AMYTS:

I love :love: being a crossdresser. It adds another dimension to my complexities as a human being. When I was questioning my gender identity, I though I might be bisexual. After counseling, I came away with a clear picture of what was going on inside of me. Trouble was headed off when I came out to myself as a TG/CD. Since that day, I have been at peace and feel no shame.
I have always liked stuff outside the normal boundaries. If someone speaks negatively about a CD, I take it as a complement because we are being true to ourselves as CDs. The struggles are valuable because, in the end, we will be better as people.


Gennee :)

[CJFMix]

I assume totally who and what I am .

Whenever I cross somebody who try to make me feel like
I'm a twisted freak : My reply is :

SO WHAT !!! Look somewhere else !!!

CD's & TV's are totally harmless & innoffensive .

We don't have to be shy to go public &

affirm what we are .

[Sara60]

I really enjoy being a cd. I like to let the feminine side out as much as I can to.

[Lana]

Ya know, years ago I was asked by a therapist if I heard voices and I told her I wasn't sure because I thought they just might be impersonating my own inner voice. She told me to come back when I was serious which was kinda strange being as I was there because I attempted suicide, methinks I was kinda serious, at least about that, but there ya go, go figure :confused:

[Tristen Cox]

Is there a little voice that argues with you?
Yes but that's just Tamara:D

Sorry I could better answer you when I get to replying to your thread in the TS section.

[Deborah]

Thank you all that answered. My main point was to see how many people were content with who they are or is there an inner conflict. Nothing else.
Thanks
Amy

[Katie Ashe]

I love CD'ing. It is a part of me. Someone the other day, said it is my choice to dress. I disagreed with her. Stealing is a choice, violence, hatered, cheating, crimes of passion, etc are choices. Transgender, CD'ing (for me), love, etc are not choices. they just are. When was the last time you choose to take a breath? How do I feel about CD'ing... it is like the air I breath, I wouldn't want to stop, nor could I. GOD for some dumb joke choose to wire me differently. And I'm thankfull for that. I am now more open to my needs, and have meet some really nice people, otherwise would never have meet.

Why try to control what you can't, harness it and use it to your advantage.

[Deborah]

Interesting Katie Ashe

I couldn't imagine what it would be like if i wasn't feminine in any way.
I would be a regular guy....ughh just depresses me thinking about it and can't even finish.


Edit...ok so i took a break. That was an interesting reaction. I pictured myself as a regular guy and it freaked me out lol. Weird.

[Krystal Lee]

Amy,
I can't say I hear voices but, I do talk to myself. I have thought and wondered about what I am, and why for most of my life. I have been dressing and had the desires as long as I can remember, I am talking three or four years old here. My mother took a picture of me in diapers and high heels, so things started very early with me.

Throughout the course of my life I have questioned and wondered why I was different from the other guys and finially decided God had played a joke and I got the best end of the deal. :D

Don't have the feelings of guilt anymore. All of us know that load of rubbish we carried around. Now my thoughts just say enjoy life, because it's too short for worry over wearing panties or not. ( sorry Tristen!)

Hope this helps you some. Hugs Krystal.

[suchacutie]

I'm very new to all of this, and there's never been a negative thought. I have no idea why it's exciting, but when I see my wife's smile when she talks to her girlfriend, my world lights up with that smile! :)

[Deanna2]

Hi Amy

I'm not sure that now is the right time to explain, explore or anything as I am near the end of a fourteen hour day with work still to be done before I go home. You did, however, ask for some comment, so I thought I would at least get back to you before too much time went by.

This is the sort of discussion we should have over coffee, wine or name your poison. My preference is a nice chilled dry white wine (from a fresh bottle with a spare in the fridge), but I'm at least an hour or so away from that.

You mentioned 'normal' in your opening post. My presumption on reading this is that there are other options apart from normal. The voices to which you refer also indicate that there are two sides or maybe more. To which side do we each lean?

I don't question this aspect of my being because wearing femme gear is what I enjoy immensely and I do it unambiguously. Now I'm starting to use big words and that can only be because I've too much coffee :eek: .

Let's talk again soon.

Luvya

[JayeEdgar]

Happy, good, comfortable, natural, at ease AND frustrated, confused, sad, anxious,depressed. Who among hasn't felt all these things? That's the maddening thing about cding. It is a very complicated thing; a lifestyle that requires more than a little effort at times. I've done it for so long; at so many levels, for many reasons it seems. I gave up wondering why a long time ago. I am a crossdresser and I accept that; I would be very unhappy if I could never do it again but I can't say that it's never caused me unhappiness either. I've gained a new perspective on it in the last couple years, thanks in large part to finding this forum and community. I feel it makes my life more interesting and ultimately, more rich and rewarding too. I am glad that this is what I am even though it has complicated my life. Hey, life is not a job for the faint-hearted (was gonna say "sissies", but, that doesn't sound right) and our lives as crossdressers sure isn't the easy road to take. That said, it's the road we're all on and like any travelers, we find rewards in the journey, not necessarily the destination. Olivia.

Beautifully stated, Olivia

Yes, I have those voices in my head.

One pushing me toward dressing--planning which combination of clothes I want to try this time; anticipating the sensuous feelings; and urging me to find a convenient opportunity, soon.

The other pulling me back--asking whether all the trouble is worth it; suggesting that a visit to the forum (in drab) would suffice; and restraining me from taking the initial steps.

Sometimes the first wins; sometimes, the second.

While I immensely enjoy dressing once I do it, I am still a little taken aback that I have such desires. Since I started late in life, I guess I am still trying to overcome a lifetime of taboos. [But, to complicate things even more, there is a part of my psyche which enjoys the liberation which comes from breaking the taboos and doing something which much of society would consider decadent and depraved]

Thanks for asking, Amy

[Deborah]

Hi Amy
You mentioned 'normal' in your opening post. My presumption on reading this is that there are other options apart from normal. The voices to which you refer also indicate that there are two sides or maybe more. To which side do we each lean?

I don't question this aspect of my being because wearing femme gear is what I enjoy immensely and I do it unambiguously. Now I'm starting to use big words and that can only be because I've too much coffee :eek: .

Luvya

What i meant by Normal was that i knew people may answer by saying "it feels normal" or "I know its not normal." Basically i'm wondering if mainstream (where you live here) or society in general has any influence on how you feel about yourself. Are you comfortable with it? or is there an inner conflict? (maybe because you listen to society and you as a person don't feel "Normal")

I wanted to leave out the "Normal" part and let people decide
1) Are you comfortable or
2) Is there inner conflict

No mention of categorizing. I look forward to your answer.

[Mary M]

i've purged a bunch of times, so i guess there is an argument in my head.

i didn't have this forum back then, though.

i've only been here a couple days and already feel more confident and comfortable in who i am and what i do.

ooxx

[Nicole_Lasmedias]

Before I accepted myself, the voice would make me guilty about crossdressing, you know the usual stuff. Now I've accepted myself, it can't make me guilty about that anymore. But that voice is really tricky...
Now, the voice makes me guilty if spend too much money on shoes or dresses...

[LaceLuvr]

nope no voices arguing with me here, i have in the past but only when alone & depressed or when i tried dating someone and wasn't able to share who I am with them.....BUT GUESS WHAT!!!!!!


i don't have that problem anymore my baby (LaceLuvr's GG aka "Silk") accepts me for myself and *poof* no more voices

[Lana]

What i meant by Normal was that i knew people may answer by saying "it feels normal" or "I know its not normal." Basically i'm wondering if mainstream (where you live here) or society in general has any influence on how you feel about yourself. Are you comfortable with it? or is there an inner conflict? (maybe because you listen to society and you as a person don't feel "Normal")

I wanted to leave out the "Normal" part and let people decide
1) Are you comfortable or
2) Is there inner conflict

No mention of categorizing. I look forward to your answer.

Nope I've never really been all too comfortable being a CD mainly because of the views of mainstream society, that and the fact that I'm about as ugly as ugly can get, even on a good day. I grew up thinking I was some sort of freak and after 40 years of negative reinforcement from society at large I pretty much believe that I am a freak to a great extent. Inner conflict? inner comflict you say? Oh yeah I gots loads and loads of inner conflict, pick a minute of the day and there's some sort of conflict going on up to and including continual thoughts of suicide, but that's just me and I'm as stable as a one legged table in a hurricane, but I'm used to it. I still think the voices in my head are impersonating my own inner voice so I tend to ignore my own thoughts as much as possbile.

[Angela Burke]

In younger years I wished I wasn't who I was but now I am quite happy and content with being a TV. It's turning into the best times of my life.

I don't hear any voices but I constantly feel my butt being kicked for not embracing Debbie twenty years earlier than I did.

Debbie

Debbie,

The last paragraph of your post should be carved in stone.

Love Angela XX

[Brianne_bc]

Today... knowing im in such great company im proud to be a CD... I may not be "out" to anyone other than my wife ... but im very proud to belong to our secret society....

[Angela Burke]

Today... knowing im in such great company im proud to be a CD... I may not be "out" to anyone other than my wife ... but im very proud to belong to our secret society....

No "secret society" here sister.
No way!

Love Angela XX

[Shaylynn]

I never heard any inner voices but I did have many questions about who I was mean to be. From a very young age I was interested in dressing feminine and being girly. Always love the feel of satin and lace. Sadly for a long time I always felt a certain amount of guilt too, I don't any more. Now I accept my femmy side and plan to enjoy it.

[MaylinJane]

I wanted to leave out the "Normal" part and let people decide
1) Are you comfortable or
2) Is there inner conflict
.

"There is no conflict," she says in her best James Earl Jones voice.

I've always been comfortable with who I am pretty much, however when I was younger I was more concerned with what others would think. I was more afraid of being judged and ridiculed. Perhaps also a fear that I was unworthy of or could not be loved. It was that fear that made me uncomfortable inside. As I became older and wiser, I came to the conclusion that what others thought of me was insignificant. All that really mattered was what I thought of me and that was enough.

May

[HaleyPink2000]

I have inner talking to myself that can be turned of with hypnosis.
But as for voices from someone else in there. Nahh! LOL

Ok to get a little serious.
I'd be a woman If I could be. I'd go have the surgery and go jump all the hoops to do so. But I am way inlove with my wife of 25 years. She and I have this understanding. I don't dress around the grand kids and all is fine with the world.

Would I wish to be diffrent? Yeah, I wish I was never born a Male.
After 54 years I feel it was a mistake on some part to not do something about it earlier in my life. I should never have married till I had the MTF surgery. Now for the rest of my life I'm going to dress, and be the best
Female I can. While still be a Man on the outside. If anything did ever happen to my wife. I'd spend every dime I have to get the surgery. No Problem.

I'm not gay or Bi. Very Hetro. But If I had to do it over again Woooooo
it would have been diffrent. I'd not a had to go to Viet Nam cause I'd a been in transition then.

Sorry Girls for rambling.

Haley:)

[Deborah]

If more people here quit rambling it would be a very boring forum.

Thanks for answering Haley and everyone.:D

[HaleyPink2000]

Amy I notice you and a few others like you are on here quite offten. Thats pretty cool you know!

I think many of us have some of the same thoughts and interests. as we seem to always be on the same threds together, LOL.

Thanks for this Thred hun again.

Haley:)

[Deborah]

Maybe on a little to often lol.

Thanks

Amy:D

[Christina89]

i've become fully comfortable with it. i used to be afraid of it. but now i embrace it. i have come out to a few people in my circle about.

[Jean 103]

No I don't have any voice. I have shed the voice of doubt. I have accepted this is who I am.

What? I'm not normal,? LOL

that doesn't mean anything to me I've never felt normal.

[Janet Devon]

I guess I will add my two cents. I have an internal conflict. While I enjoy being Janet and dressing up to the hilt. From the panties & toenail polish that I wear 24/7 to the full dress and makeup that I do weekly. I love having breasts and wished for years they were part of my body.

But I love my wife and don't ever want her to leave.

However, I find no guilt in being different from most society because they never agree with each other anyway. What one group says is right the other says is wrong. Why should I care what others care about? That is not me.

As for looks, I am old now and look old but when I dress up I feel young and dress young. I look in the mirror and like what I see. Oh to have others see me the way I see myself.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Being a Crossdresser lets me have the BEST of both worlds, >Orchid **O:daydreaming:O**

[Bobbi46]

Cd yes, TV no, I watch the TV if there is something good to watch!!!!! but I absolutely hate the the title TV and its full word Transvestite, ugh its old fashioned and to me sounds sort of derogatory.
CD yes I am 24/7 and have such lovely acceptance with everybody around here except for a few narrow minded expats.

[Crissy 107]

Being a Crossdresser lets me have the BEST of both worlds, >Orchid **O:daydreaming:O**
I second this!

[ShirleyN]

Hi Deborah. No I've never had any major issues with it to be comepletely honest. Of course when I was a teenager I was made to feel like it was wrong, etc. but it didn't stop me from Crossdressing. Now of course, I've occassionally had the thoughts of "well what will people think if they see me dressed like this?" but that generally tends to pass.

[Geena75]

I float around on the idea. Prior to 2013 I thought of it as a personal weakness. In that year I found this site (and the blatant encouragements), ideas, and acceptance and went a long way, like shaving my legs. The pink fog dissipated to a pink mist, and I did it less, feeling again that it was a weakness. I would quit "being a cross dresser" for months at a time, purging a couple of times. Then something would excite my curiosity and I would dive in again. That has been the story for about the last three or four years. I would enjoy it regularly for a couple months, then move on to some other activity. Right now I'm really into being a crossdresser and don't miss an opportunity. I don't doubt that, in a month or two, I'll put it away for a while. Only, now I've accepted it as a

[Star01]

At 69 I check off a lot of the same boxes as everyone else. Started around twelve, didn?t understand it and thought it was a passing adolescent one time kink.

Years went by and it would come back every so often in the form of fleeting thoughts. When the nest emptied it came back strong, got to place that scared my and I purged. It came back again in 2012 and it was obvious that I was dealing with something I can?t control.

I do not here voices.

I went into therapy at the first of the year and have worked through the guilt but my wife stands in my way. There was sim bi experimenting with another CD friend so I am trying to figure out what that is about as well. Meanwhile the lockdown keeps me frustrated and mostly in drab.

I am not in a desperate state of mind but the frustration level has never been higher. As much confusion as this has caused along with others preventing me from dressing I admit to myself wishing that I wasn?t like this but knowing I will be dealing with it for the rest of my life. While I enjoy being dressed and spend a lot of time researching going further down this path not knowing where it would end I must keep a lid on it.

Being like this can be a bit of a handful but it is who I am.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

it is a big part of me and as i age(65) i become more aware in a "perfect" world i would transistion or at least dress full time
however i still wish i didn't feel this way

[adelinapa]

The voices whispering in my head stopped once I accepted myself as transgender. Since then I've been socially transitioning even though I will not physically.

I feel as though I'm in the right clothes now all the time, depending on the day that might appear as male or female.

[KymG]

In two minds about this.
At the time, i cant wait to get all done up and it feels amazing, its possibly the only time i actually relax.
I feel i look pretty good and thats a real buzz for me.

Afterwards, i dont feel so great and the next day not much better.

Would i stop if i could? At this point in time, yes i would.
I cant stand the fact that some of my friends know, even though they dont care.
Ive never really accepted it myself.
As it happens i cant stop so there we are.