Searching for incriminating evidence.

[Jamsey]

My wife is coming back after being gone off and on for about a month on business and vacation.
I dressed more than I ever have in the past, and enjoyed it more too. Similar to many experiences I read about in other threads, the more I dressed the more I want too. My wife doesn't know I dress, and I know she would not approve.
So, I'm looking around the house to see that I did not leave anything around I shouldn't have.
No bras on a doorknob, no mascara on the vanity, no lipstick stained tissues in the trash cans, no panties on the ceiling fan, wait a moment, how did that get in there, no nighties in the sheets, you get the idea.
What else, based on your experiences, should I be looking for? Help me fight my sub-conscious desire to come out.

[AllieSF]

Just retrace your steps and try to remember what you have worn over this time period and make sure it is all there. if you used your wife's things, makeup, whatever, make sure it is back where she expects it to be. A good trick to use, is to have a defined procedure of how you dress, undress and put everything back in it's proper place. I keep certain regularly used items in bags, So I know what should be in each bag. I try to never leave anything out after I am done. I.e. everything goes back into hiding after each dressing moment. That way I am better conditioned to make sure nothing is left out. That being said, I have made and will continue to make those little forgetful mistakes. So far so good!

[Shananigans]

Don't forget to check the washer/dryer and hamper.

If I found some women's clothing laying around the house, my first thoughts wouldn't be, "He's a crossdresser."

[JaytoJillian]

I was busted by a lipstick-stained bottle of water placed in the recycling bin. empty ALL of the garbage/recycling. check for makeup smudges on light switches and other surfaces. Hair that is not yours or hers should be picked up. Web history is a must delete as well. Good luck, but think long and hard about coming clean. Take it from someone who is dealing with the hell that hiding and being found out has caused.

Cheers,



Jill

[gabe]

If you borrowed her stuff then make sure the adjustable straps are set back to the way they were. Good luck.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Been there and done that my Wife found an earring on
the floor next to the bed one time.

Orchid

[Jamsey]

just a note, I don't use any of my wife's clothes or make-up. We have completely different styles, plus, by not using any of her stuff I don't have to worry about that part being discovered.
Did find a couple wig hairs though. Must have missed them with the Hoover.

[renee k]

If she does the laundry, make sure there are no traces of makeup on your male clothes. You'd be surprised how much gets left on your skin after you wash it off. Just a thought.

Renee

[LizaPond]

Check and see if you had blotted your lips on a tissue or wipes make up and then trown it away. If you smoke look for butts with lip stick on them in the cans.
Liza

[Shananigans]

Jesus, are you people dating P.I.'s?

I would never just go rumbling through the trash or check to see if someone has been using my makeup.

[StaceyJane]

I know it's been mentioned but it was my computer that got me busted so check it again.

[PretzelGirl]

Wipe that smile off your face. That will certainly give you away. You were suppose to be miserable while she was gone.

[Nicole Erin]

Just retrace all steps several times, and don't try to make things look too clean unless clean is your nature...
I think just make sure all evidence is gone...
And make sure no one finds the bloody glove.

OH gyod one time when my wife was on vacation, I had wrote a story about some ex-girlfriend where I had greatly detailed some of my sexual fantasies...
I had left it in the dresser, didn't even think about it til one day at work, thank GOD she wasn't going thru anything cause I tell you, it was a story, like one of those things you think about but would never tell another human.

[brandie]

well if see loves you come clean,just be very slow dont over do it to stat
start with panties for a time, just to test the water and go from there
rember our holliday is just around the corner( halloween) that is the best time
to test the water

love
brandie

[Philipa Jane]

Shenanigans wrote
"Jesus, are you people dating P.I.'s?"

"I would never just go rumbling through the trash or check to see if someone has been using my makeup."

We should all remember that GGs have a built in b/s radar and have eyes like a hawk for when something is out of place in their domain.

The hardest part of dressing was the worry that I had not tidied up properly before I left the house. Which eventually led to my undoing and ultimately coming out to my wife.

Soooo much less stress when they know the items are yours and not some other woman's.
PJ

[ReineD]

I know you came here for help to hide your tracks, but I just want to say how sad this is on many levels.

Sad for you because you can't express yourself.

Sad for your wife because she'll sense that something was up, if not now then in the future, even if she senses your unhappiness over not being able to dress. But she won't know what it is. If anything, she'll think it's another woman.

Sad for you both because now you might look forward to your wife leaving again, and she'll sense that too.

And the rift widens.

So after a period of time with the two of you becoming more and more distant over all of the unspoken "stuff", you may finally reach a point where you need to tell her because you won't be able to suppress it any longer, or she'll find your ever growing stash. And then it will be even harder to negotiate, since the marriage will have become distant.

Maybe I'm extrapolating too far in your case, but it's not an unfamiliar scenario around here. Sorry, I didn't mean to burst your bubble, but I just had to say it. :sad:

I'm glad you got to express yourself so much this month though. :hugs:

[Nichola]

Jesus, are you people dating P.I.'s?

I would never just go rumbling through the trash or check to see if someone has been using my makeup.


You brought a much needed smile to my face with this line!

But it does make you so paranoid when you have to dress in secret. One time I managed to explain away a blond wig hair as maybe its my sisters, even though she hadn't visited in months. The scariest time was when she spotted traces of glitter around my eyes. I just froze....then pathetically tried to explain it away as maybe its from a towel that she had used.

[Ashleythenewgirl]

I like the advice about the lipstick on the water bottle as I need to remember to wash my drinking glasses tonight!

[Chickhe]

hmmm... the check for lipstick on the glasses is good, but how are you going to explain the highlights in your hair, your shaved legs and hairless arms? Oh andwhy does the house smell like perfume? Watch out for stray long hairs on the bed... better vacuum everything. Not that I would lie if asked, but privacy is one thing and to protect it, I tend to put everything away as I go vs redecorating the house while everyone is away... one thing to consider is an early return or unexpected guest who might tell your wife about the bra sitting on the living room couch...for, example.

[Shananigans]

You brought a much needed smile to my face with this line!

But it does make you so paranoid when you have to dress in secret. One time I managed to explain away a blond wig hair as maybe its my sisters, even though she hadn't visited in months. The scariest time was when she spotted traces of glitter around my eyes. I just froze....then pathetically tried to explain it away as maybe its from a towel that she had used.

Uh oh. I would've been like, "Betch, I don't wear glitter."

Has anyone seen the movie Clueless? When Dionne finds part of a weave in the backseat of her boyfriend's car, and she says, "Speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain how this cheap K-Mart hair extension got into the backseat of your car."

This thread puts a whole new twist to that part of the movie.

(Yes, I can probably quote the entire Clueless movie. It was like a pre-req for my clique in high school. We had no lives, obviously).

Either way, I doubt most GG's are going to go looking for you wearing our clothes unless we Suspect you are wearing our clothes in the first place. Now, I might snoop around the place after I'd been gone a month and see what you've been up to. So, obviously don't have any foreign panties or makeup lying about. If I saw some blonde hairs laying around, I would not think you're wearing a wig. I'd probably ask what blonde bimbo has been all up in my house.

I mean, deleting computer history is a given. (I don't know why guys don't do this when they have stuff to hide...that's like the first thing we grill. Silly boys). Just go ahead and set your browser to delete history every time you exit out of it. Problem solved.

And, Reine, I mean, I agree it sucks that they're hiding this. But, after reading some of the GG's reactions on here. I can't really blame them. If you know with at least 90% certainty that your wife won't be accepting. What are ya gonna do?

[eluuzion]

hiya Jamsey

Do not touch or “borrow” ANY of her things.
Not clothes (they will “smell” like “you” afterwards, and you will “stretch” something)
Not shoes (same reasons as above)
And definitely not make-up, not even “once”. ( she will notice, plus it is unsanitary to “share” and can cause infections, particularly in the eyes).

Everybody has a “routine”, down to the exact position of the eyeliner pencil, etc. Just close your eyes and try to picture your bathroom or closet. You can probably recall the exact location of damn near everything. So could she.

As already noted, have a system where you do not have the opportunity to “scatter” things around. Everything you use immediately goes back to a single location, such as the bed or dresser top. If you are smart, you will count the total number of things you have “taken out”. When you are finished, count them again. This technique also allows quick “clean-up” if a “fire-drill” occurs. Don’t carry anything from that “base” location that you could “set down” someplace. (If you are not wearing it, leave it.) Having a trashcan next to that area is a must. Everything is thrown in there, not other trash cans.

Do not have more than one “stash” location. It increases the chances of mix-ups and misplacing things. Never hide anything at “eye level”. If possible use a different room (than your bedroom) and bathroom for crossdressing activities.

Walking on carpets in heels leaves indentations similar to wearing golf shoes in the house. Brushes, picks, etc always build up wig hair. Wig hairs fall out and stick to furniture, carpets and clothing. (so does make-up).

You can purchase a “driveway alert” for under $20. (wireless, motion activated battery powered transmitter goes “outside” and receiver/audio alert unit goes inside.) It will alert you to any unexpected surprise visits home that people seem to do from time to time.

There is a saying that “if you need to employ drug tests to know if somebody has a drug problem…you are not a good manager.” Partners develop a “sixth sense” with each other. You can “feel” when something is weird about your SO, too.

The first rule of gathering “evidence” of your partner’s deception or lies…is to say “nothing” so you can continue to observe. These days, even the most naïve’ people know how to install a keylogger or hidden camera to collect information when they are not home.

Bottom line is to just think about the quality of life you and your SO are living. (consciously or not). It really makes no sense for either party to be living their lives that way. (Physically or mentally). Life is too short.

But then, you already knew that, didn’t you…

:love:

[Pipi]

Watch your body language.

After I dressed a few days in a row during a vacation I was surprised how feminine my gestures where when I looked into the mirror of the aircraft head on my trip home. I even noticed that my walk had changed. I actually had to pay attention to walk like a man again!

Took me a day or two to get the girl out of my bones....

[erickka]

Just be like santa... Make a list and check it twice. I do the same thing when my wife will be coming home from a trip, and all has worked well so far.

[sonna]

if you bought anything burn or throw away the receipts. (that got me busted once)

[NicoleScott]

I'm sure Jamsey often contemplates coming out to her. But in consideration of all the pros, cons, benefits, drawbacks, rewards, and costs, has chosen not to at this time. How many times have we read "I told her, and she's divorcing me" posts? Some relationships require absolute sharing of every thought, and others allow ample room for privacy. Indeed, some relationships thrive on generous amount of physical and emotional separation. "Don't Ask Don't Tell" works for some. My first marriage ended when I told her.

Anyway, here are some things to consider:
I use fake nails and adhesive nail tabs. I made sure I counted ALL TEN tab backings and they were disposed of properly.

Check trash cans for anything that can get you busted. Change the can liners just to make sure.

Check the dryer lint filter for wig hairs and possible incriminating lint.

Check the vacuum cleaner. Specifically, the dirt container or bag AND the brushes, where wig hairs can be wrapped around.

Get your own stuff: clothes, makeup, and makeup removal products.

Account for everything.

[il.dso]

Yes, I'm way too familiar with the post-crossdressing checklist
to make sure no "evidence" has been mistakenly left out.
My problem is that I check, re-check, then re-re check and
still think I left out something that could be found.
This, unfortunately, is one of the prices I must pay for my situation.
It's not ideal nor is it what I wish it would be.
Hoping for better times and less checking in the future!

[SheriM]

I try to have a routine. Always put this here and that there so when it is time to clean, you know where to look. Like if you put your bra on a door knob, always use the same one. If you follow your own rules, you will have a better chance of covering your tracks.
SheriM

[5150 Girl]

Like Shananigans said, if your wife finds stuff that ain't hers, her first thought will be that you had an afair. (tell me which scene is worse, you had an affiar, or you are a cd?) I know,, I've been htere, done that with my ex.... I was forced to come out to her, and after that we had sort of a don't ask don't tell arrangement. If she found somthing, she'd just say, "Umm I think you forgot to put somthing away"
If you come out to her, even if she wants this side of you kept out of her sight, then there won't be a problem....

[SherriePall]

Nicole Scott mentioned this already, but I have this problem with my press-on nails. I usually get done dressing and realize I only have nine nails on. And since I was all over the house, where could that one be?
Now, it really doesn't matter because my wife has known for over 10 years now, but she does make a little fuss when she finds something. "You have to be more careful," she warns me. Yeah, like someone else is going to be cleaning underneath our bed and find a nail and think that it belongs to me.
Well, that's my two cents.

[ReineD]

And, Reine, I mean, I agree it sucks that they're hiding this. But, after reading some of the GG's reactions on here. I can't really blame them. If you know with at least 90% certainty that your wife won't be accepting. What are ya gonna do?

But it's a question of what came first, the chicken or the egg. It's harder for a GG to be open minded when she has years worth of hurt built up, which then turns into resentments, thinking that her husband doesn't love her as much as before (if she perceives the distance, like he can't wait for her to leave, he's mad or depressed all the time, he's sketchy about what he does when she's not there, or maybe she did find the blonde hair or an earring). So then the GG is not only angry about being lied to (which again tells her he didn't trust her and this is another breach in the couple's emotional intimacy), but she now feels that her husband's femme self is competition for his affection and loyalty. The wife feels that the husband prefers to be his femme self over being with her, based on years of sensing that he would have rather been elsewhere.

And on GG's general level of acceptance, we do get threads here from CDs who have told their wives with disastrous result and the threads get a lot of attention. But do we know what other issues are in their marriages, issues like the ones above? Or what do we know about their relationship skills in general and the level of trust and commitment between them?

But we also have hundreds of CDs whose wives know. They may have varying levels of acceptance, but they know and they're still married. There've been a few threads, pages and pages, of members here saying they are in happy marriages and their wives accept. Those threads just don't get as much attention as the sadder stories.

[BaliGirl]

I mean, deleting computer history is a given. (I don't know why guys don't do this when they have stuff to hide...that's like the first thing we grill. Silly boys). Just go ahead and set your browser to delete history every time you exit out of it. Problem solved.


This is great advice. However, if you are hiding from a person with a suspicious mind, they will see the empty history and think you are up to something. (I would! :)) They may ask you about it. You could explain that clearing the history is protecting against hackers.

Or, you can use the private browsing feature that is in Internet Explorer and Firefox and only when you are visiting sites like this. That way your history will not be empty and won't contain anything that will bust you.

[DanaR]

I know you came here for help to hide your tracks, but I just want to say how sad this is on many levels.

Sad for you because you can't express yourself.

Sad for your wife because she'll sense that something was up, if not now then in the future, even if she senses your unhappiness over not being able to dress. But she won't know what it is. If anything, she'll think it's another woman.

Sad for you both because now you might look forward to your wife leaving again, and she'll sense that too.

And the rift widens.

So after a period of time with the two of you becoming more and more distant over all of the unspoken "stuff", you may finally reach a point where you need to tell her because you won't be able to suppress it any longer, or she'll find your ever growing stash. And then it will be even harder to negotiate, since the marriage will have become distant.

Maybe I'm extrapolating too far in your case, but it's not an unfamiliar scenario around here. Sorry, I didn't mean to burst your bubble, but I just had to say it. :sad:

I'm glad you got to express yourself so much this month though. :hugs:

Very nicely said and so true.

[charlie]

Sounds like you were busy while she was away. To bad you could not just tell her before she finds out anyway. When wives find out on their own there is a huge problem of lying and being dishonest that falls on you. My wife still calls me a lier. Good luck. That said, you will have to check your body movements, tv programs and how you walk around her for awhile. I always get a bit more fem when I am away and dress more.

[Angel64]

I also suggest private browsing. I use Google Chrome and it works great. That means you will have some history. Angel.

[bianca66]

Check those couch cushions again and rip those bed sheets off, you will be amazed what creeps down to the foot of the bed...

[JulieC]

I know you came here for help to hide your tracks, but I just want to say how sad this is on many levels.

I was thinking the same thing. Reading all the responses just compounded that sadness. Not that anyone said anything wrong here, just had me feeling so sad for the people chained up in the closet of secrecy. It's like we're marked children of a lesser god, and have to take extreme precautions lest we are discovered. At the risk of invoking Godwin's law, it makes me think of Ann Frank, and all she endured.

I also note that one of the replies here noted the hell that was wrought by not coming out and being discovered. Plus, a number of replies noting being discovered by not being careful enough. There's another thread going on right now (Georgi) of a hell that was wrought by telling. I feel such despair in this; it's like no matter what happens, being a CDer is going to create hell.

And people think this is a choice?


I'm glad you got to express yourself so much this month though. :hugs:

Me too! Must have been WONDerful!

[kristinacd55]

How about, honey I'm a crossdresser? Don't do what I did and wait 32 years to tell your SO/wife. It's been a LOT better since she knows, plus no more dragging my girl things from the crawl space. YEA!

[Jenny Gurl]

I know you came here for help to hide your tracks, but I just want to say how sad this is on many levels.

Sad for you because you can't express yourself.

Sad for your wife because she'll sense that something was up, if not now then in the future, even if she senses your unhappiness over not being able to dress. But she won't know what it is. If anything, she'll think it's another woman.

Sad for you both because now you might look forward to your wife leaving again, and she'll sense that too.

And the rift widens.

So after a period of time with the two of you becoming more and more distant over all of the unspoken "stuff", you may finally reach a point where you need to tell her because you won't be able to suppress it any longer, or she'll find your ever growing stash. And then it will be even harder to negotiate, since the marriage will have become distant.

Maybe I'm extrapolating too far in your case, but it's not an unfamiliar scenario around here. Sorry, I didn't mean to burst your bubble, but I just had to say it. :sad:

I'm glad you got to express yourself so much this month though. :hugs:

Although there is no certain way to know how the SO will react, much of what you wrote has a very true ring to it. Well said.

[Colo Deb]

This would be the biggest reason I would like to come out to my wife. I am paranoid that sometime she will find my stash or I will carelessly leave something behind--it's happened, but I was fortunate that she didn't discover it before I did. It would not be easy for me to explain, because I am fearful that she would not be accepting of my cding, or even more, I am more fearful that she would reject me.

[Andy66]

What else, based on your experiences, should I be looking for?
Have you found your conscience or your self-respect yet?

[Tranny Tee]

It is very sad that so many men can not be honest with the women they married.

[Jenny Wilson]

It is very sad that so many men can not be honest with the women they married.

It is also very sad that so many women go ballistic when they find their partner is a crossdresser.

There is a saying about reaping what you sow.

Jenny

[ReneeT]

All I can say is - read Reine's post. Your cd-ing is most likely NOT going away, and she WILL find out. As hard as it will be, bring it up and discuss it on your terms, not under the cloud of dishonesty and deception. I can share with you the effects of 21 hrs of dishonesty in a marriage (I told my wife before we were married, but went underground thereafter, until recently)

[t-girlxsophie]

If only I had the insight,or even the common sense to have a checklist,maybe I wouldn't have beeb caught out so many times LOL,my biggest faux pas was leaving Mascara traces or having "Panda Eyes".

It's so great that nowadays I don't have to worry about such things

[Sarah_GG]

I know you came here for help to hide your tracks, but I just want to say how sad this is on many levels.

Sad for you because you can't express yourself.

Sad for your wife because she'll sense that something was up, if not now then in the future, even if she senses your unhappiness over not being able to dress. But she won't know what it is. If anything, she'll think it's another woman.

Sad for you both because now you might look forward to your wife leaving again, and she'll sense that too.

And the rift widens.

So after a period of time with the two of you becoming more and more distant over all of the unspoken "stuff", you may finally reach a point where you need to tell her because you won't be able to suppress it any longer, or she'll find your ever growing stash. And then it will be even harder to negotiate, since the marriage will have become distant.

Maybe I'm extrapolating too far in your case, but it's not an unfamiliar scenario around here. Sorry, I didn't mean to burst your bubble, but I just had to say it. :sad:

I'm glad you got to express yourself so much this month though. :hugs:

Seconded. :straightface:

[Shananigans]

If only I had the insight,or even the common sense to have a checklist,maybe I wouldn't have beeb caught out so many times LOL,my biggest faux pas was leaving Mascara traces or having "Panda Eyes".

It's so great that nowadays I don't have to worry about such things

So, your wife found out and ended up being cool with it?

Or, was she not cool with it and you told her to go get lost?

Either way, win-win situation.

[t-girlxsophie]

So, your wife found out and ended up being cool with it?

Or, was she not cool with it and you told her to go get lost?

Either way, win-win situation.

Sorry should have clarified.My first wife Detested my dressing,somehow we lasted 10 years before splitting
Am now in 2nd marriage and my wife knew I dressed from the beginning,Much better being upfront about it,she is a wonderful wife and very Supportive of my Dressing:)

:hugs:Sophie xx

[JenniferR771]

And watch for the sequins on the floorboard of your pickup truck, (I missed that.) Check for any tracce of glitter coming off a formal dress and landing on the carpet. Whoops. Long hairs on a hairbrush or bathroom carpet. Makeup on the collar of your t-shirts. Tiny residue of nail polish or glue on your fingers and toes. Clear your camera memory and spare memory chips. Hide those 400 pic cds, also thumb drives. Also clear your cell phone pics. And the numbers or your crossdressing buddies. And caller ID or history from Fredricks of Hollywood. And also the answering machine. for instance mine once said, "Your garment is ready for pickup at the JCPenny Catalog Desk."!!

[Tybalt]

all the people i have always loved, I have loved for who they are as a GG with a TV boy in my life whom i adore it breaks my heart you have to go threw all the paranoia and anxiety of getting caught and this goes for every post's like this
some one who loves you should love YOU not just the parts of you that you let them see
im sorry honey some day maybe shell hang your panties from the fan
:itsok:

[julia ann]

My down fall in the past had been fake finger nails, the tiny little ones that can't be used seem to slip away at times, also wig hair in the brushes or even on the back of computer chairs have a issue.

[EllieOPKS]

don't forget those shoes or sandals you kicked off in the garage or shoved under the couch.

[kristinacd55]

It is very sad that so many men can not be honest with the women they married.

Hmm....can that be just limited to men???? Wonder what the percentage is of women to men who can't be honest? Has there been a study?

[NicolaD]

double check your finger nails, i was caught once because i was in a rush and didn't remove all the polish, still had some down the edge of the nails. that showed up the next day in the sunshine glistening away like a beacon.

[kimdl93]

All I can say is - read Reine's post. Your cd-ing is most likely NOT going away, and she WILL find out. As hard as it will be, bring it up and discuss it on your terms, not under the cloud of dishonesty and deception. I can share with you the effects of 21 hrs of dishonesty in a marriage (I told my wife before we were married, but went underground thereafter, until recently)

So, basically girls, the lesson is to pick up and clean up carefully this time, and start getting prepared for the inevitable. the question is whether its going to be by accident, or planned and practiced. (and yes, I know that for many this final outing could mean the end of a marriage, but don't kid yourselves, the same outcome may be more likely if you keep hiding)

[Paula W]

Make sure that when you greet her at the door you aren't wearing a dress. You may have put everything away except for the thing you are wearing.

Joking aside, the biggest concern would be anything new that you didn't have before, its the reason I got busted when I was in the closet.

Was very good at making sure to put everything back in a certain place, but when I started to try makeup, it got me busted because I wasn't used to putting the makeup away as a routine at the end of my dressing time. A bag full of makeup is pretty easy to forget lol.

[randumbness]

Bah, it seems so frustrating listening to all of this. I mean, it's like you HAVE to hide everything, put everything away, make sure there's not trace of who you are...

I understand taht you love this woman, but it's just so....bah...such is the life of a crossdresser. -_- Oh well, I'll probably have to go through this when i get married.. (hopefully not).

[Gillian]

hiya Jamsey

Do not touch or “borrow” ANY of her things.
Not clothes (they will “smell” like “you” afterwards, and you will “stretch” something)
Not shoes (same reasons as above)
And definitely not make-up, not even “once”. ( she will notice, plus it is unsanitary to “share” and can cause infections, particularly in the eyes).

Everybody has a “routine”, down to the exact position of the eyeliner pencil, etc. Just close your eyes and try to picture your bathroom or closet. You can probably recall the exact location of damn near everything. So could she.

As already noted, have a system where you do not have the opportunity to “scatter” things around. Everything you use immediately goes back to a single location, such as the bed or dresser top. If you are smart, you will count the total number of things you have “taken out”. When you are finished, count them again. This technique also allows quick “clean-up” if a “fire-drill” occurs. Don’t carry anything from that “base” location that you could “set down” someplace. (If you are not wearing it, leave it.) Having a trashcan next to that area is a must. Everything is thrown in there, not other trash cans.

Do not have more than one “stash” location. It increases the chances of mix-ups and misplacing things. Never hide anything at “eye level”. If possible use a different room (than your bedroom) and bathroom for crossdressing activities.

Walking on carpets in heels leaves indentations similar to wearing golf shoes in the house. Brushes, picks, etc always build up wig hair. Wig hairs fall out and stick to furniture, carpets and clothing. (so does make-up).

You can purchase a “driveway alert” for under $20. (wireless, motion activated battery powered transmitter goes “outside” and receiver/audio alert unit goes inside.) It will alert you to any unexpected surprise visits home that people seem to do from time to time.

There is a saying that “if you need to employ drug tests to know if somebody has a drug problem…you are not a good manager.” Partners develop a “sixth sense” with each other. You can “feel” when something is weird about your SO, too.

The first rule of gathering “evidence” of your partner’s deception or lies…is to say “nothing” so you can continue to observe. These days, even the most naïve’ people know how to install a keylogger or hidden camera to collect information when they are not home.

Bottom line is to just think about the quality of life you and your SO are living. (consciously or not). It really makes no sense for either party to be living their lives that way. (Physically or mentally). Life is too short.

But then, you already knew that, didn’t you…

:love:

Oh yeh, with you every bity of that!!! good solid covert advice

[NicoleScott]

The OP laid it out pretty clearly: she doesn't know and would not approve, so what advice can you give me to make sure I don't leave any incriminating evidence?

Many offered good tips. But others just can't seem to resist the chance to say "tell her".

If you have some tips then post them. Otherwise, quit trying to fix a marriage you don't know anything about, and save your pity and lectures for the appropriate "to tell or not to tell" thread.

[stacey.eyes]

I had used her hairbrush on my wig, and there were a few telltale foreign strands left in it that I didn't catch. She confronted me about it, and it turned out to be a good thing. It forced things into the open, and although she doesn't like it, she now accepts my other self. It means my clothes can hang freely in the closet and my shoes no longer have to hidden under the bed.

[connie23]

Hi,
If you bought anything while she was gone, make sure you don't leave any receipts around. Also, check her closet to be sure you did not move things from their normal positions. I think you are wise to recognize that we all have a sub-conscious wish to be discovered.
Hugs,
Connie

[sfwarbonnet]

A correllary to "if you don't lie, you don't have to remember which lie you told to whom" is "if your wearing women's clothes is not a secret, you don't need to hide them". That is, only "borrow" her stuff if you have to; have your own androgynous lingerie. A bra is a toughie as it is a uniquely feminine garment. just grow boobs so you need to wear one. Wear her previously-worn apparrel whenever possible and do reset the straps if you changed them. If you do use her stuff, put it back where and how you found it.

[eluuzion]

Ok, just for fun...more forensic hide-n-seek…
for “future reference” since it is too late for the current operation.

Hairs left in brushes
Hairs on pillows, sheets, clothing, towels
Make-up “stains” on the items above.
Cosmetics have a scent that transfers, whether they say fragrance free or not
Wearing a different “scent” than the “lady of the house” is asking for discovery
Powders leave a residue that many times is forgotten until it rubs on clothes!
Wig hair/real hair drops in the strangest places…like drains, toilet rims, washer/dryer
A little piece of eyeliner, etc can fall to the floor unnoticed, until shoes smear it
Lipstick/lip balm is like applying Vaseline to anything that your lips touch (cigs/glass etc)
Never mix “regular” trash with “secretive discards” trash. Never
Add paint, bleach, bug spray, dog feces etc before closing bag to deter snoops
Use disinfecting spray to clean remotes, phones, doorknobs, and all handles.
If you use a foreign cleaner, clean again with the normal product afterwards.
Never rearrange furniture when someone is gone…(creates suspicion).
Always search for “bugs” and cams
If you never use the family camcorder, etc. Don’t use it when a person leaves
Always clear tracks from computers, but leave some tracks that are “innocent”
Make sure your “stories” will match any reports neighbors may share later.
Always make sure your odometer matches your stories.

An hour or so prior to somebody returning, don’t "clean", brew a pot of coffee (unless that is weird), it masks and replaces any foreign odors with a “fresh” and familiar “base” odor.

As already noted…the greatest risk of discovery is what comes out of your mouth. Lol

That’s enough for today. Now, go to your room, you have been a bad gurl…

:love:

[JennaR]

Git it up you can't clean up or put things away good enough for a GG not to either find it or get that dreaded sixth sense they have. Resign yourself that she will find something. The only thing you could do is think of ways to tell her that you were bored and decided to play with girl stuff. After a time or two you kinda liked it. Then the door is open for you to ask if she wants to play sometime...

On another note: the replies form us leaves no reasonable doubt that we try to act like women, dress like women, and all that stuff. But we still think like men, devious, selfish, and all THAT stuff

[Wink]

oh god so I've also got to look forward to the joy of guilt house searching after I dressed!? :doh:

lol

[Kerrie Sifton]

Interesting chat, and it made me think... once I left a blouse of mine hanging in her closet, another time lingerie in the trunk.
So then another time it was a receipt for a corset shop. Was I deliberately leaving clues or just getting complacent.
Today she is aware and the two of us are still working out the details as Kerrie is not totally out of the closet.
All the best

by the way, what has she been doing for a whole month? any clues on what she has been doing? Wonder what the vacation was really like?

[Teresa Ann]

WOW after reading this I love my wife all the more as I don't have to hide anything. The only problem is if what ever she finds and it fits she I have lost it I see her wearing more of my old dresses than I thought I had, and she has all of my expensive bras in her drawers. I do love my wife!!